27. Freya
27
FREYA
I wake up screaming again. My arm thrashes out against the soft leather of the private jet seats I’m laid across and it takes a moment of rapid blinking for my eyes to clear.
Eli looms over me, his hands on my shoulders like he shook me awake. Strands of his dirty blond hair fall forward over his forehead.
“You’re okay,” he says. “You’re safe.”
I wet my lips and curl and uncurl my fingers.
Eli goes to brush my hair off my face and I flinch, words from my nightmare echoing in my head.
Shh, Little Star. Just lie still.
Nausea revolts inside of me and I lurch up, pushing Eli away from me.
He stumbles back and sits in the seat opposite, watching me with careful eyes as I fold in on myself, screwing my hands up in my hair.
Reality slams into me and panic for Josh floods through my body. I’m in no state to help him. A phantom touch coats my skin like a film of scum. I feel this desperate need to shower in burning hot water. To wash away something I can’t quite remember.
The terror folds in on itself, my fear of the past colliding with the present, and all I can think about is Josh. Missing. My father cutting into his skin. I can’t believe another one of my friends is in danger because of me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Eli asks.
“No.” I balk at the idea.
He nods and goes back to watching me.
A bell sounds and the seatbelt light turns on.
I strap myself in and ignore Eli, watching the clouds shift as we descend.
I couldn’t have talked about the nightmare even if I wanted to because I don’t remember it. All that’s left behind is a voice whispering that name. Little Star.
I don’t recall my father ever calling me anything other than Angelica, but it was the same name in the last message.
Shouldn’t you know by now, Little Star, dear old Dad’s always one step ahead?
I press the back of my hand to my mouth. I thought I remembered everything he did to me as a child. The possibility that there’s more, that there are things so bad my mind blocked them out, has ice cracking over my bones.
Shh, Little Star.
I tense and my breathing goes off kilter again.
Eli doesn’t say anything, but he gets up and comes back with a glass of soda.
I glance at him, not sure what to make of this version of Eli but take the glass when he hands it to me. I knock some of it back and crunch the ice between my teeth.
Eli sits down next to me this time and places his leg so his knee is touching mine. The contact feels good, not so much it’s overwhelming but enough to keep me grounded.
I’m okay, everything will be okay. We’ll find Josh and bring him home to Luke. We have to, because there is no other option I’ll accept.
I drink my soda. Anxiety still simmers under my skin, but Eli is like a coat of armor at my side, silently warding off the danger and lending me his strength. I don’t know what’s going on with him but right now him being here is enough and by the time we touch down my heartrate has settled a little.
We go straight to my old station to meet Luke. He’s standing at Ruiz’s desk, one hand on the back of her chair, the other on her desk, and his eyes glued to the computer screen.
Ruiz looks up as we approach, her thick black curls framing the strong lines of her face and falling down to her favorite motorcycle jacket. She curls two fingers to call us over. “We’re using his fitness app to trace Josh’s last movements,” she says.
Ruiz became Luke’s partner not long after I left and I’m glad that he has her on his side. She was always the toughest of us all and she’ll stop at nothing to find Josh.
Luke tears his gaze off the screen and sets his haunted eyes on me. “The tracker goes offline after he left the bar last night.” Luke’s normally model-swept blond hair is a mess. His shirt is crumpled like he hasn’t changed it in over a day and dark circles hang under his blue eyes. “She’s not going to tell you where he is, is she?”
I rest my hand over his and squeeze. “She might. She told me where to find our dad last month and if the point of this was to get us out of L.A., then there’s no reason to actually harm Josh.” I don’t mention that my father doesn’t seem to need a reason to hurt anyone.
Luke breathes in through his nose and pulls away, running his hands over his hair. “Fuck, Freya, he can’t?—”
“I know.” I take his hand again and pull him into a hug.
Luke trembles against me as he wraps his arms around my back.
Ruiz clicks away at her computer. “I’ll carry on working things from this end. You guys go talk to the crazy chick.”
I smack the back of my hand against her shoulder and raise a pointed brow while Eli scowls at her.
She just smirks because she’s Ruiz and she doesn’t give a shit.
Angelica’s being held in Bayport Secure Psychiatric Hospital. It’s about an hour’s drive from the station and Luke is jittery the whole way.
I couldn’t bring myself to visit her after what she’d done to me in the warehouse, so the gravel drive lined with tall oak trees is all new to me.
The hospital is a privately run facility and though the grounds are ringed with barbed wire fences and armed guards the building itself is a converted manor house.
The whitewashed walls extend four stories up and as we get closer, I note the windows have been switched out for solid panes of glass lined with wire. A figure moves behind one of them.
I breathe through the urge to run as the new cuts Angelica left on me burn.
The skin is healed now but the scars remain, along with the fear she carved back into me.
I close my eyes and try to picture the younger version of my twin. The one who hid messages for me in the park and talked to me through the basement door when I couldn’t sleep at night.
I need to do this for Luke. For Josh. I’m the reason my father is hunting near the guys’ families. I’m the reason he’s somehow taken Josh. I tighten my grip around the door handle. If Angelica wants to talk to me, then she better be prepared because there is very little I won’t do to keep the people I care about safe.
The car rolls to a stop and Eli turns off the engine. We climb the steps and press the buzzer to the entrance.
The reception is set up with an x-ray machine and, after showing our badges, we put our belongings into trays before being waved over by a security woman with a wand.
Once we’re given the all clear Eli talks to the nurse behind the desk.
“We need to speak with Angelica Maxwell.”
The nurse frowns. Her round, brown cheeks blow out as she shakes her head. “I’m afraid you just missed her. She was transferred early this morning.”
“What?” Luke snaps.
I blink. Unease crawls across my shoulders and I take a step back from the desk.
“Who the hell authorized the transfer?”
“Um, I’ll just look.” The nurse clicks on the mouse, bringing the file up on her computer. “Here it is.” She reads out the name and the unease creeping over me turns into full blown paranoia.
“That can’t be right.” I turn to Eli. “Can it?”
His eyes lock on mine, disbelief etched into the lines of his face. “We need to call River. Now.”