Chapter 3
Chapter Three
“We’re here! We’ve got wine…”
“And juice! I can’t have wine, but grape juice sort of looks the same, so…”
“Chinese food will be here in twenty minutes and…”
Billie stood in wild confusion as her sisters and Jade came through her front door with zero warning. “What is happening right now? I didn’t have girls’ night on the calendar. And didn’t you just get back from your honeymoon? What are you doing here?
“We got home a couple of hours ago,” Chloe said before walking over and hugging her. “Ash texted me and told me about what happened today, so I told Tanner he was on his own for dinner and he totally understood.”
“Okay, but…”
“And Levi is on dad duty tonight with the kids,” Jade told her with a grin. “Let’s see how he enjoys homework and bath time all on his own.”
“Jade, Cal is going to be one. Are you telling us our brother hasn’t had a night alone with the boys in all that time?” Ashlynn asked as she began taking glasses out of the cabinets.
“Normally I wait until Cal’s asleep if I need to go out, or my mom or yours is there—like on girls’ nights. But since this was a code red situation, he had to be on his own.”
“Oh God, you didn’t invite our mom, did you?” Billie pleaded.
“What? Oh gosh, no!” Jade assured her. “There wasn’t time, plus I didn’t think you’d appreciate it.” Pausing, she walked over and took one of Billie’s hands in hers. “We just want you to know that we’re here for you.”
“For…?”
“Bill, come on,” Ash said as she began handing out drinks. “Marcus just strolls into Books & Beans out of the blue and you’re going to pretend like it’s not a big deal?”
“That’s because it’s not.”
Three pairs of eyes looked at her in disbelief.
“Okay, fine. It’s kind of a big deal. It was a shock,” she went on, taking the wineglass. “But once I went back to the kitchen and calmed down, I realized I was fine. So…while I appreciate you all coming here to check on me, it’s unnecessary. I’m fine. I’m good! Really.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Jade said, leading her over to the sofa. “I was there with you all day and you cannot tell me you’re fine.”
“Agreed.” Ash sat down beside her. “You seriously looked like you had seen a ghost when you first saw him and most of the time you were talking to him, you were shaking.”
This was ridiculous. “Of course I reacted that way! It’s been ten years! I honestly never thought I’d ever see him again. I never wanted to see him again. It’s bizarre that he’s even here in Sweetbriar Ridge because he was so hateful about ever coming back. Hell, he ridiculed me for wanting to!”
“Ten years is a long time,” Chloe quietly assured her, placing a hand on her knee. “But…in all that time, whenever the subject came up, you always shut down. We all know that breakups are awful, but…what actually happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Ashlynn was about to speak, but Jade held up a hand to stop her. “It’s time, Bill. Holding it in isn’t making anything better. Now, I realize we didn’t know each other when it happened, but we’ve known each other long enough for me to know that there is definitely a lot of pain that you’re still dealing with.”
“This is a safe space,” Chloe chimed in. “We love you and we just want you to be okay. If…you know…he is going to be in town for a while, chances are you’re going to run into him again. Maybe he’s even going to be at Iris’s wedding. Then what will you do?”
Shaking her head, Billie wholeheartedly disagreed. “That’s not going to happen. I’ve had nightmares about Marcus showing up at any of our friends’ weddings, and he never does. This is just a miserable coincidence that he’s here around the same time. And, mark my words, he’s not staying. He won’t. He’s too good for our little small town.”
Ashlynn groaned. “He’s such a freaking snob. Seriously, what did you ever see in him?”
Leaning back against the cushions, she took a sip of her wine and hummed with approval. “Good choice,” she said to no one in particular. “And…he wasn’t always a snob. That all happened after we moved away. In that respect, he was a little like Levi, you know? He dreamed of a life that was anywhere but here.”
“Okay, but…Levi wasn’t a dick about it,” Ash reminded her before adding, “Most of the time.”
“But he was like that a lot of the time,” Billie corrected.
“He didn’t like coming home to visit, but he did. And when he had to move back, he was certainly a jerk, but he wasn’t openly hostile about it. Marcus looks like he thinks we’re all beneath him.”
“That’s definitely what he thinks. Trust me. And whatever brought him back here, it’s not going to keep him here for long. By tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll be packing his bags and going back to whatever snooty place he’s calling home these days.”
They were all quiet for a moment until Chloe asked, “Don’t you have anything you want to say to him? Something that will give you closure?”
“Look, I love you guys for worrying, but I don’t need closure. I’m fine. I’m not going to let Marcus Calloway take up any more space in my head. That’s in the past and it’s over and done with.” She finished her wine. “That was seriously good. I’m going to pour myself another glass. When did you say the food would be here?”
She heard them whispering about how they were worried about her as she walked away, but it didn’t bother her. They were simply wrong. Today happened and it just solidified that she had made the right decision all those years ago. She didn’t need to talk about it or have any conversations with Marcus for closure. She was fine.
However, one hour and two glasses of wine later…
“I mean…he was unreasonable!” she said, her speech a little slurred. “He didn’t understand that my family—you guys—needed me! He was all like, ‘ they can handle themselves!’” And yes, she tried to mimic his voice. “But like…I knew…I knew …that I needed to be here! You guys were both in crisis and Mom had no idea how to handle it!”
“Jeez, Bill. That sucks that you gave up everything for us,” Ashlynn said, picking up the last dumpling. “I had no idea he gave you an ultimatum.”
“And we’re the reason you lost the great love of your life!” Chloe wailed. “I feel terrible! We had no idea how much pressure we were putting on you!”
Taking another sip of her wine, Billie considered her words.
Sort of.
“It wasn’t you guys directly. Mom was just worried and kind of a mess and had no idea how to deal with the two of you once you were adults! I love her, but…man, is she a lot! Dad wasn’t around, Levi wasn’t around, and I wasn’t around.” Another sip. “Ash, you were working three jobs to pay for beauty school…”
“Cosmetology school,” her sister corrected.
“Okay. Fine. Cosmetology school, and Mom was freaking out that you were going to work yourself to death. And Chlo, you were having those anxiety attacks and Mom was worried sick that you couldn’t handle the pressure of being away at college. My coming home allowed her to chill the hell out! You’re my sisters and I love you and you needed me!”
“Um…”
All eyes turned to Jade.
“What was that?” Billie asked. “What was that, ‘ um …?’”
Jade looked a little like a deer in the headlights. Still, she took a sip of wine and explained. “Personally, I don’t think that Ash and Chloe needed you.”
“ What?! That’s insane!” she argued. “Didn’t you just hear me say how much they were struggling?”
“Yes, and they were, but you just said they weren’t the ones reaching out to you. It sounds like it was all your mom. So… Marie needed you.”
“But…”
“Damn,” Ash whispered. “She’s right!”
“Again, I didn’t know you guys then, but when you moved back here, what did you do?”
“I…I um…I temporarily moved back in with my mom, got a job at the bank, and…”
“Ash? Did you stop working three jobs?”
She thought about it for a moment. “No. I kept going because it was helping me pay for school and have money to live. Billie used to give me spending money, but that was so I could have a life outside of work and school.”
Nodding, Jade looked at Chloe. “And did you get over your anxiety?”
“Eventually. I made some friends and would text with Ash every day and Billie started calling more often and…they just sort of went away.”
Now she looked back at Billie with a sympathetic smile. “You are a nurturer. We all know that about you. You came home because you saw things you thought you could fix. And maybe the fact that you were here made your mom calm down and stress less, but it feels like maybe you had other reasons for bailing on the relationship.
Oh crap. Did I?
She immediately pushed that thought aside. “No. Absolutely not. I had been in love with Marcus since the ninth grade. We made all kinds of plans and…no,” she said adamantly. “My family needed me, and he didn’t understand. He didn’t want to come back to Sweetbriar Ridge, but he would never keep me from doing it. I mean, he didn’t like it, but it wasn’t like he forbade me from coming back to visit.”
“Are you sure that’s all there is to this?” Ashlynn asked. “Because from the way you’re describing it, you were like, ‘Hey, my family needs me,’ and he was all like, ‘Well, I won’t go with you,’ and then you just packed up and left.”
“O-kay…and…?”
“And that’s no drama. If that’s all it was about, then seeing him today shouldn’t have been a big deal. Even if he’s an uptight asshole—which, judging by today’s behavior, he is—you should be happy that you broke up. I mean, who would want to spend their life with a person like that?”
I did.
Was there more to the story? Absolutely.
Was she going to share it? Hell no.
Instead, she poured herself another glass of wine and noticed Jade texting. “Hey, who are you texting? Is Levi wondering when you’ll be home?”
Smiling serenely, she shook her head. “No, I’m texting Julie to ask her to cover your shift in the morning. I have a feeling you’re not going to want to be awake at four in the morning.”
“Pfft…I never want to be awake at four in the morning, but I do it anyway.”
“Not with a hangover,” Jade murmured. “No worries. Julie’s going to take your shift. We have plenty of inventory for her to work from and she can make a few things from scratch. If you want to come in late and do your thing, that’s totally up to you.”
“You don’t have to baby me. I’m a grown woman and I can come in for my shift, even if I’m hungover.”
“Okay, but now you don’t need to.”
“But…”
“Oh my goodness, Billie!” Chloe said loudly. “Just say thank you and move on! Sheesh!”
They all grew silent for a moment or two before Ashlynn asked, “Do you have any cookies? Dinner was great, but I’m seriously in the mood for something sweet.”
“Did you finish all the chocolate croissants I gave you?”
“No, but they’re home and I’m here.” Grinning, she stood and walked to the kitchen. “I know where you keep everything, so don’t get up!
“There are cookies in the pantry, and cupcakes in the carrier on the island,” she said before going back to sitting on the couch. Chloe followed while Jade cleaned up their dinner dishes.
“Can I ask you something?” Chloe tentatively asked.
“Of course. Anything.”
“If you could say anything you wanted to Marcus right now without him arguing or giving you some sort of snarky insult, what would you say?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m not sure anything needs to be said. What would be the point?”
“Closure. Everyone needs it, so there’s nothing to be ashamed of if you do too.”
Sighing, she got a little more comfortable. “Nope. Nothing’s coming to mind. Plus, it’s a moot point. Now that he knows where I work, I can guarantee he’s never going to come into Books & Beans again.”
“Sweetbriar’s a small town. You could run into him anywhere.”
“I think we’ve said all we needed to say. It’s ancient history. I think seeing him today was my closure. Anticlimactic, but still closure.”
“I heard you smashed a muffin in his face. So maybe not so anticlimactic?”
That made her laugh a little. “Maybe.”
Once Jade and Ashlynn joined them, they snacked on cookies and cupcakes while Chloe told them all about her honeymoon. “Oh, and thank you for the surprise cupcakes, Bill! Tanner was so excited when we got home and saw the box on the table!”
“I hope you don’t mind that I asked Ash to drop them off. I knew you wouldn’t mind if she let herself in, but I didn’t feel right doing it myself.”
“Stop. We’re family! And anytime you want to drop off some surprise cake, do it!” Laughing, Chloe turned to Jade. “So, what’s the plan for Cal’s birthday party? What time should we be there on Sunday?”
For another hour, they talked about birthday parties, pregnancy, and basic life stuff. By the time everyone left, Billie was thoroughly exhausted and secretly thrilled that she didn’t have to get up early tomorrow.
Padding through the house, she shut off the lights and made her way to her bedroom. Opting to skip her nightly skincare routine, she simply changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed. Chloe’s question of what she would say to Marcus if given the chance came to mind, and she knew exactly what she would want to say.
“I’m sorry I walked away from our wedding.”
For two days, Marcus went over his father’s finances—every bill, his tax returns, investments, assets, everything to help him paint an accurate picture of what kind of financial shape his father was in.
It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either.
The conversation he and Max had detailing everything they were going to need to do for their father had been awkward, and for a moment, he almost felt bad for the old man.
Then he’d find some documents with his mother’s name on it and get mad all over again.
“Want to grab some lunch?” his brother asked as he stepped into their father’s office.
Leaning back, Marcus raked both hands through his hair. “Can we go out and eat somewhere? I don’t think I can eat another meal in the kitchen. This whole place is just…the walls are closing in on me.”
“Yeah, sure. We can go wherever you’d like—the café, the pizza place, the steakhouse, there’s a restaurant up at the ski resort if you feel like driving, or we can head out for some Mexican. What are you in the mood for?”
“The café is fine. They always had good sandwiches and burgers.” Standing, he stretched. “Is Dad coming?”
“What? No. I think he’s eager to be alone since he’s not used to having so many people in the house with him.”
“So many people? Max, it’s the two of us and we’re his sons. We grew up in this house. Why is he being weird?”
“Seriously?”
“What? What did I say now?”
“Dude, you haven’t been home since Mom died, we’re here talking about his finances, and making plans for him like he’s incompetent. I’m sure he feels like we’re ganging up on him, but you’re definitely making him tense.”
“Naturally. I love how it’s always my fault.”
“Are you really going to stand there and deny that you’re not going out of your way to be condescending to him?”
“How? How exactly…?”
“It’s how you talk! God, I just wish you could be like a normal brother! Don’t you ever laugh or smile? When’s the last time you had a few drinks and just…unclenched? Jeez.” Max turned and walked out of the room, but Marcus didn’t follow right away.
When was the last time he’d laughed? Like…genuinely laughed?
Nothing came to mind. Not a movie, not a joke, not…anything.
Huh…that is weird.
But it didn’t make him a weirdo. He worked in finance, for crying out loud. It wasn’t like he had a fun job. He handled people’s money for a living, and he could say with great certainty that his clients preferred someone who took that task seriously. Plus, there wasn’t a lot to joke about. It was either, “Hey, you just made a fortune!” or, “Hey, you just lost a fortune,” so…where was he supposed to make things funny?
Laughing wasn’t everything.
Walking out to the living room, he spotted his father and brother talking. “You sure you don’t want to join us, Dad? You haven’t been out in a few days.”
“Most of the time, I only go out once a week,” his father replied. “My home health aide comes tomorrow, so I’ll go out then.”
“Max, you ready to go then? I’ll drive.”
“I’m parked behind you, so I’ll drive. Let’s go.”
Marcus usually preferred to be the one driving, but it seemed like a silly thing to argue about. Plus, he figured his brother was going to play tour guide and show him all the new and exciting places Sweetbriar Ridge had to offer.
Sadly, he was mistaken. They drove directly from the house to the café.
The parking lot was full, and they had to wait a few minutes to be seated. While they waited, neither said a word. Marcus checked emails on his phone and Max was staring down at his.
“Hey, Max,” the hostess said. She looked vaguely familiar, but she didn’t even acknowledge Marcus.
“Hey, Jen. How are the kids doing?”
She smiled as she led them to a table in the far rear corner. “Wild as ever! Jason made the debate team and Livvi’s starting cheerleading. All that means is that my weekends are no longer my own!” Laughing, she handed them both menus even though she only looked at Max. “Cindy’s going to be your server and she’ll be right over. Oh, and tell your dad I said hello!”
“Will do!”
“What the hell kind of service was that? She didn’t look at me even once!”
“Well…to be fair, you’re not exactly anyone’s hometown hero. You left Sweetbriar Ridge telling everyone you never want to come back and then broke the heart of the nicest girl in town. What did you expect?”
Good freaking grief…
“It’s been more than a dozen years, Max. People need to move on.”
“Like you have?” Then he snickered. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist. But I’d rather have a pleasant lunch with you than say anything that makes your face scrunch up like that.” Picking up the menu, he added, “Want to split the jalapeno poppers?”
“What is that supposed to mean—like I have?” he quietly demanded, unwilling to make a scene.
“Is that a no on the poppers?”
“Max…”
“Okay, okay. See? You’re too uptight.” Sighing, he put the menu down and stared right at him, his expression serious. “Whether or not you realize it, you’ve changed. A lot. The whole thing with vowing never to come back home because of your issues with Dad? That was one thing, and I seriously thought you’d get over it. But then there was the breakup with Billie, and…” Another sigh. “You’ve been like a completely different person since then.”
“I grew up.”
“No, that’s not it. And for the record, you were a fully functioning adult when the two of you broke up. Now, I’ve never asked for the details, and I’m still not. What I am asking is for you to take a deep look at your life and ask yourself if you’re happy. Because from where I’m sitting, you’re not.”
“What does being happy have to do with anything? Why are people so obsessed with happiness being the answer to all of life’s problems?” And yes, he was genuinely asking because he didn’t understand it. “Like…you make it like you get to just… choose to be happy! It doesn’t work that way.”
For years, he had been happy—thought he had it all. He and Billie were in love—he thought—and working toward the kind of future neither had ever imagined possible. They were the ultimate power couple and they used to laugh about how they were going to show their friends and families what genuine success was. But the joke was on him, because clearly, he was the only one who believed it.
She’d lied to him and walked away without ever looking back. Was it any wonder he was bitter?
That’s when he realized his brother was watching him with a combination of pity and curiosity. “Aren’t you going to say anything, Max?”
“What do you want me to say? Happiness is a good thing! It’s an emotion that brings joy and pleasure and helps with your psychological well-being! And for the record, you do choose it. No one’s saying you have to be happy all the time, but every once in a while would be nice. Don’t you miss having emotions?”
“Great. Now I don’t have emotions? Because I can tell you one thing…I’m feeling one pretty strongly right now.”
“Anger. Yeah, I know. It’s the only one you’ve been showing for years. What else have you got?”
“Max…” he said in a near whine.
“Marcus…” he mimicked. “For a guy who’s making bank, driving a sweet sports car, and living in a spectacular penthouse apartment in the heart of D.C., you’re miserable. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?”
“I’m not miserable…”
“Well, you’re definitely not happy, so…what are you?”
Good question.
Picking up his menu, he decided he was through with this conversation. “Jalapeno poppers, huh? I didn’t realize you liked spicy foods.”
Across from him, his brother chuckled softly, picking up his own menu. “Alright. Message received. You don’t want to talk about it.”
Menu down, he huffed in annoyance. “I came here to talk about Dad, not so you can psychoanalyze me.”
“Dangers of my job, I’m afraid.”
“Max, you’re a cybersecurity analyst. How does that have anything to do with analyzing people?”
“That’s my day job. I’m a bartender at night.”
Horrified, he asked, “Good God, why?”
Max shook his head and laughed. “Because I work from home most of the time and miss being around people. It’s what I did after college and I always had a blast, so…” He shrugged. “I do it a couple of nights a week. Some weeks, I make more money than I do at my day job!” Then he leaned slightly across the table. “Plus, it’s fun and a great way to meet women.” And with a wink, he went back to his menu. “But back to your original question, yes, I do like spicy foods!”
With the utter ridiculousness of the conversation—at least on his brother’s part—it was hard not to laugh softly with him.
“I knew you had it in you,” Max quietly praised.
That just made him laugh a little more. “Why are you like this?”
“You mean charming? Witty? Lovable?”
The groan was out before Marcus could stop it. “Is that all you’ve got?”
“I could add good-looking, friendly, athletic, happy, and…hmm…I think I’ll finish with…” Pausing, he grinned. “A good brother. Seriously, Marcus, I’m just worried about you. We talk on the phone and see each other once a year. I realize now it was a mistake to let things go this far. You may not want to admit it, but…family is important.”
“If this is about Dad…”
“It’s only partially about Dad. We’re all each other has, bro. No one’s saying that you have to magically move on from your feelings, but…have you ever just once thought about how hard it was for Dad when Mom was dying? I don’t think I could sit there and watch the person I loved slip away like that.”
“That’s the thing, Max. He didn’t have to! He could have forced her to go into the hospital! She needed more specialized care and he just…he let her die!” he hissed, aware of people looking at them. “Maybe you can simply forget that fact, but I can’t. Mom would still be here…”
“No, she wouldn’t,” his brother quietly countered. “There was no hope and if you had simply listened to everything the doctors told us, you would realize that. If you would have talked to Mom—or should I say, listened to Mom—you would realize that your anger is misplaced.”
Any lightness he was feeling moments ago was gone.
“I think you’re angry at yourself for not being here. I hope at some point you take a hard look at your feelings and figure that out.” After a brief pause, he said, “Now that’s all I’m going to say on that subject because this isn’t the place, and I’m starving.”
“Hey, Max!” their server said when she walked over. She gave Marcus a cursory glance before turning back to his brother. “I thought your dad would be with you! I saw you walk in and was all set to just put in an order of wings for him!”
“That’s sweet of you to remember,” he told her. “But it’s just me and Marcus today.”
She gave him another brief glance and smiled at Max. “So, what can I get you today?”
“We are going to start with the jalapeno poppers and then I’m going to have the mushroom and Swiss burger—medium rare—with fries.”
“You got it!” Now she had no choice but to give Marcus her attention. “And for you?” Her tone was less cheerful, for sure.
“I am going to have the…bacon cheeseburger. Pepper jack cheese, extra crispy bacon, and medium rare, please. And I’ll also have fries.”
She nodded. “And to drink?”
He and Max looked at each other before he replied, “A couple of beers, please. Thank you.”
Another nod and a smile. “Okay, the drinks will be right out!”
Once she was gone, Max leaned back with a knowing grin.
“What? Now what are you smiling about?”
“I expected you to order something snooty, like a fancy cocktail or a healthy lunch. I’m glad you still know how to be a regular person.”
“Oh God…not this again…”
“You’re right. You’re right. So…what should we talk about?”
And for some reason, he went for humor.
“How about something a little lighter, like politics or religion?”
Max’s bark of laughter was infectious and after that, it didn’t matter what they talked about because he was actually happy to be here with his brother.