Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
“Uh-oh…someone either didn’t get any sexy time last night, or someone died.”
“Jeez, Ash…that was a shitty greeting,” Jade murmured. “Ease up.”
Her sister was staring hard at her. “Alright, then what’s going on?”
Swallowing hard, Billie stepped closer to the counter. “Marcus is leaving today. We said our goodbyes last night and…I’m fine. I swear. Just tired.”
“I call bullshit.”
“Ash!” Jade wearily scolded. “Seriously, come on.”
“No, she’s right, dammit. I mean, I am tired, but I’m also seriously bummed. We both knew it was happening and said we were fine with it. I didn’t say anything to him because he was genuinely okay with all of it. We didn’t make any promises, and it was just…goodbye.” Tears stung her eyes, and she mentally cursed them.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry,” Ashlynn said as she came around the counter to hug her. “I wasn’t thinking. You know my mouth has a mind of its own.”
Billie clung to her. “It’s one of the things I love most about you, just not this morning.”
Pulling back, her sister looked at her with sympathy. “I have a feeling you’re not loving anything right about now.” She glanced around. “C’mon, it’s pretty quiet in here right now. Let’s go sit and talk.” Then she turned to Jade. “Is that okay?”
“I was going to suggest the same thing.” Pausing, she asked, “Do you want me to see if one of the girls can come in and cover for you today, Bill? Maybe you’d feel better just relaxing at home.”
“No, but thank you. I need the distraction.” They walked to one of the tables and sat down. “I feel so stupid. I knew all the risks, and I still did it.” Wiping away the tears that fell, she quietly admitted, “And I’d do it all again.”
Reaching across the table, Ashlynn squeezed her hand. “I know you would. I wish I had something profound or comforting to say, but sarcasm is really my superpower.” She winked. “What happens when he comes back to visit his father? Why can’t the two of you do the long-distance thing?”
“Because it’s too hard. We both know this is a relationship with zero future. I’m getting older, Ash. I want to fall in love, get married, have babies…that’s never going to happen with Marcus. And if we keep going like this—long-distance, dirty weekends, whatever you want to call it—I’m never going to have what I want.” More tears flowed. “And I deserve to have the life that I want, don’t I? Everyone else does. You’re all married and having babies and deliriously happy. When is it going to be my turn?”
“Oh, Bill…”
“It’s not fair. I’m a good person. I’m capable of love. Why did I have to fall in love with the one person who wants completely different things? We used to be so alike, and then we became incompatible.”
“You’re not incompatible. Logistics just suck.”
But she was shaking her head. “It’s not just logistics. I wish it were. Marcus wants the kind of life that lacks…I don’t want to say a soul because that’s a bit dramatic, but I could never raise a child when it meant working fourteen hours a day and being on call 24/7. That’s not a life; that’s existing and just living to work.”
“You kind of work a lot now,” Ash carefully reminded her. “You get up at four in the morning, you’re here all day, then you’re helping me with stuff at the salon, or seeing what we’re all up to and hanging out. When do you sleep? When do you take care of you?”
The question made her realize just what she’d been doing to herself for years. After releasing a shuddery breath, she met her sister’s concerned gaze. “I hate being alone,” she whispered. “There was a time when I didn’t mind it, but these last few years, I’ve grown to hate it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine every once in a while, but I go home to my quiet house, it’s like the silence is mocking me.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything? We all thought you were…you know…living your best life.”
“You and Chloe and Levi are all so happy, I didn’t want to be the downer. Besides, it’s not like there’s anything any of you can do about it. This is about me and my stupid life.”
“Billie…”
They sat in companionable silence for several minutes and it was enough for Billie to decide she wasn’t in the mood for a pity party. She needed distractions more than anything.
“I’m going to spend way too much time thinking about this, so…would it be okay if we changed the subject?”
Ash gave her hand another squeeze. “Absolutely! Tell me about what kind of cake I’m allowed to have today!”
For two days, she did her best to go on with life as usual. But when she got home late on Wednesday afternoon, there were several packages piled up on her doorstep.
“What the heck did I order?”
Looking at them, there were handwritten notes on them. The top one said, “Open first.”
Before she did, she unlocked the door and carried them all inside. “Okay, this is a little weird.” Although, her heart skipped a beat because she recognized Marcus’s handwriting.
The first box had instructions for a Spotify playlist. So, she pulled out her phone and entered the link and came to a tropical music playlist along with sounds of the ocean.
“Interesting…”
The second box contained a giant fruit basket containing coconuts, pineapple, papaya, and mangoes.”
“Ooh…yummy!”
Box number three was heavy and when she opened it, she found a five-pound bag of beach sand. She knew it wasn’t from Hawaii because that was illegal. Still, it went along with the theme.
Next was a box containing scented candles. “Tropical Sea Breeze Scented Candle,” she read.
Bless his heart, he was giving her a taste of Hawaii.
The last box contained a bikini, a pair of men’s swim trunks, and a couple of leis. She was admiring them when her doorbell rang. Smiling, she ran over to it, and almost squealed with delight when she found him standing there smiling with two tropical drinks in his hands.
“I thought I’d bring a little of your dream destination to you.”
Taking the drinks from his hands, she put them down on the nearest surface before jumping into his arms and kissing him. They both moaned with pleasure as he stepped inside, kicking the door shut behind him. It wasn’t until they collapsed onto the sofa that they broke apart.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, feeling like her heart was ready to burst.
“Dad has a couple of doctor appointments he can’t get to on his own and Max still isn’t available, so I made arrangements to come back for a few days.”
“A few days?”
“I need to be back Friday morning for an important client meeting, and I’ll probably end up working through the weekend to get caught back up. I know we said our goodbyes, but…”
“I’m really glad you’re here and I love all the gifts! Very creative.” She kissed him again until they were both panting. “I’m all for the music, the fruit, the bathing suits, drinks, and leis, but I’m not pouring out the sand anywhere,” she teased. “Way too messy.”
“I totally get it. There’s an insulated bag out on the front porch with our dinner. A little Hawaiian chicken. I couldn’t resist.”
“I love it!” Scrambling off his lap, she ran to the door and grabbed the bag. “I don’t know how you managed all of this in two days, but I’m seriously impressed.”
Together they moved to the kitchen. “Any chance I can convince you to put on the bikini now?” Standing behind her, his hands on her hips, he kissed her throat. “If you put on yours, I’ll put on mine. Maybe we can put a blanket down on the living room floor and picnic with the bag of sand beside us and pretend it’s the beach.”
It wasn’t practical, but it was so clever, how could she say no?
“Deal! The playlist is pulled up on my phone, we can use the blanket over there on the back of the sofa, I’m going to go and change, and then you can go do the same…”
“Or we can change together,” he smoothly suggested.
Laughing, Billie ran her hands over his chest. “Then we’ll never get to the beach.”
Hauling her up over his shoulder, he joined her with his own laughter. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take!”
As predicted, it took a lot longer to get changed, but she wasn’t sorry about it. Marcus had thoroughly—and quickly—seduced her. She felt utterly boneless as she lay on the bed, breathless and a little sweaty. “I wouldn’t mind a dip in the ocean right about now.”
“We could take a bath together, or maybe a quick shower?” Turning his head toward her, he was sprawled out just as naked and breathless as she was.
“Too much work…I don’t suppose you brought a cabana boy with you?” she teased. “You know, one who could just bring us our dinner and drinks right here?”
His soft laugh told her the answer, and the next thing she knew, he was standing up and pulling her to her feet as well. “Marcus…” she whined.
“Billie…” He gave her a quick kiss before picking their discarded bathing suits up off the floor and placing them on the bed. “The faster we put these on, the faster we can enjoy our tropical dinner.”
She wanted to be annoyed a little longer, but her stomach growled. “Ugh…fine.”
“That’s my girl.”
Within minutes, they were back in the living room. Marcus set up a blanket while Billie got plates and silverware. Music was softly playing, the lights were dimmed, and the candles were lit. “Wow…you really know how to set a mood.”
They worked together to set up the food before sitting on the floor. When she caught him grimacing a bit, he gave her a boyish grin. “This is how I know I’m getting old—my knees creak when I try to sit on the ground. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not easy for me anymore either.” They both had a good laugh about that before they started eating.
“What are these appointments John needs to get to? I thought he had an aide who stayed with him once a week.”
“He does, but when I left on Monday, he just seemed a little…I don’t know…overwhelmed with going to the orthopedist. He played it off like it wasn’t a big deal, but I could tell it was. I call him every night now and decided to be here for him. I was able to rework my schedule a bit—plus I can do a lot of things remotely—and then I’ll head back to D.C. again.” He shrugged, popping a chunk of pineapple into his mouth.
“We haven’t talked about it, and I don’t mean to pry, but…it seems like you and John have gotten close again.”
Nodding, he offered her a piece of pineapple and fed it to her. “We have. Once I realized that it was awkward as hell to be in that house without talking to him, it just happened. We each got to say what was bothering us, and it seems like I really misjudged a lot of things back when my mother died.” Pausing, he studied his plate for a moment. “Apparently, it’s not uncommon to have anger toward the surviving parent. I blamed him for her dying, and I blamed him for living. How messed up is that?”
“I think it’s only natural,” she said quietly. Reaching over, she placed her hand on his thigh. “You were hurting. We’re not always rational when we’re dealing with such a devastating loss.”
“I guess not. It just sucks that it took me ten years to figure that out.” He took a forkful of his dinner. “Mmm…that is good.”
She had to agree.
“Speaking of dads and complicated relationships, I didn’t ask when we were at Levi and Jade’s, but it sounded like you’ve all made up with your father. How did that happen?”
“It’s a crazy, long story, but basically, we all found out our mother had lied a lot about what exactly happened when Dad left. She sort of orchestrated the whole thing and then painted him as the villain. I still blame him for allowing that to happen, but we’re taking things slow. He’s moved back here and he’s a part of all our lives.” She sighed. “He got sick—heart attack—and it seemed like the kick in the ass we all needed to work toward being a family again. Then my mom was in a horrific accident, and he was the one who came to help care for her! It was wild!”
“I don’t even know what to say to that. All the years you and I have known each other, the only time I ever heard anyone mention your father was to say that he abandoned his family. It’s wild—in a good way—that you’re close now. Gives me hope that maybe it can happen for me and Dad and Max.”
“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always easy. There are a lot of disagreements, and we all have very strong opinions; the key is to respect each other. It also helped that my dad came into the whole situation with low expectations. He knew he screwed up and knew how we felt about him. It’s safe to say he’s thrilled that we’re all spending time together now.”
Another nod. “Do you ever still find yourself getting angry with him for things that happened in the past?”
“Sometimes,” she admitted. “But what’s the point? We can’t change it. We can’t go back and suddenly become a version of the Donovans whose parents didn’t get a divorce. There are always going to be hard feelings about things he missed, but we’re working on making new memories now. It’s kind of nice.”
For several long moments, Marcus simply watched her until she started to squirm. Sitting there in a bikini seemed like a good idea at the time, but she honestly felt a bit self-conscious. She wasn’t a young woman anymore, even though at thirty-five she still felt it at times. The fact was her body wasn’t what it used to be and right now she wished she had maybe taken up jogging or hiking or something. He still had a very athletic body, and hers was a little softer in places than she was comfortable with.
“Thank you for letting me be here tonight,” he said gruffly. “I know we had said our goodbyes, and I really took a chance on showing up like this. It’s prolonging the inevitable, but…”
“Don’t, okay? We both know this is…well…it’s temporary. Eventually your dad’s going to get better and you’re going to come around less frequently. No strings, no pressure…” Pausing, she swallowed hard. “No commitments. Right?”
And yet another nod. “Right.”
They were both in agreement, so why did they sound so miserable?
After their Hawaii date, Marcus took his father to his orthopedic appointments, spent another night at Billie’s, and then went back to D.C.
The following week, he came back to meet with contractors to replace the roof. While he was in town, he and Billie spent two glorious nights together. They watched movies, cooked dinner together, and even played a couple of their favorite board games.
The week after that, he was back to meet with landscapers and a house painting company about the exterior of the house. He had only been in town for less than forty-eight hours, but he spent the night at Billie’s where they enjoyed hot fudge sundaes—and each other—in bed.
And the week after that one, he came to take his father to meet with a physical therapist and turned the old guest room into a gym so he could exercise properly at home. He’d worked it out so he could have a four-day weekend and took Billie up to Summit Ridge for a romantic dinner and booked a suite for them to spend the night. Plus, they did some of the tamer activities on the property and avoided the mountain coaster.
When he arrived back at his father’s house unannounced less than a week later, his father finally called him out on it.
“You know, we saw a lot less of you when you actually lived at home,” he said with part amusement and part accusation. “I appreciate everything you’re doing, Marcus, but don’t you think it’s time you admit that you keep coming back because you miss Billie? Hell, there’s no shame in it! In the last month, we’ve done more work on this old place than I have in a dozen years, and most of it you didn’t need to be involved with, but you took it upon yourself. It means a lot to me that you’re here and the time we’re getting to reconnect is the greatest gift in the world, but we both know I’m not the real reason for all these trips back to Sweetbriar. Why don’t you just tell her you’re still in love with her?”
“Dad, we’ve been over this. It won’t work. She doesn’t want to move back to D.C. and I’m not looking to move back here. The work I do requires me to be in a big city environment. I love having every convenience close by. I love the culture and the social scene. I love my condo. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s in the most desirable building in the city and it has an amazing view. No matter how many changes this town has gone through, you can’t change logistics.”
For a moment, neither said anything, but then his father nodded and launched into a story. “About two years ago, I went into Books all I knew was that I couldn’t get a damn job. I had no choice but to find something to do here.” Chuckling, he shook his head. “Talk about humbling. It started with Billie asking me to help Jade with some advertising for the coffee shop. It felt so beneath me, but I had nothing else to do, so…why not, right?”
“You obviously grew your client base and you’ve got this great office, a nice house, you’re clearly doing well, so…why not go back?”
That’s when Levi looked at him oddly. “Why would I do that? This is where Jade’s business is. This is where my business is. Why would I uproot our lives to move back to Alexandria where we had nothing?”
“Okay, but what if you could have your business there and have it thriving like it is—if not more—wouldn’t you do it?”
“No.”
Marcus knew his eyes went wide. “That’s it? Just no?”
“Exactly. That was my past. Being here with Jade and raising our boys is my future.”
He fought the urge to groan. Leaning forward, he asked, “Don’t you miss it? I mean…I get that the town is growing, but it’s not a thriving metropolis.”
“That’s what I thought and…” Pausing, he laughed. “I mean, it’s true. Sweetbriar Ridge will never be that kind of thing. But…Summit Ridge reopened and it’s bringing a lot of renewed interest to the area. There are three times as many shops and restaurants here now than there were three years ago and there are plans for more in the neighboring towns. Do I miss some of the…culture?” He shrugged. “Not really. And once I settled in and stopped bitching, I realized how much I didn’t miss that frantic pace. I enjoyed slowing down and having a life instead of just having a job.”
Hanging his head, Marcus sighed.
“I get the feeling you’re not really interested in me specifically. Are you thinking about moving back?”
Looking up, he shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. I just…I can’t seem to fully wrap my head around leaving behind everything I built and worked so hard for.”
“I didn’t have a choice. The life I built and worked so hard for was no longer affordable for me. I didn’t save my money. I lived for whatever gave me pleasure at the moment. I loved having all the status symbols that showed everyone who met me just how successful I was. And you know what? That just made me a freaking shallow human being. And do you know how I know that?”
He shook his head.
“Because no one gave a damn,” Levi stated bluntly. “My entire world collapsed and no one was there for me—none of my friends or colleagues, no one. I had to hire strangers to help me pack up my place and move. No one from the circle of friends I thought I had ever reached out to see if I was okay. I wasn’t missed.”
Now he nodded, because there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that it would be the same for him. The last two months he’d been away more than he ever had, and no one asked why. No one called or texted or reached out to see if he was okay either.
Why hadn’t I noticed that before?
“Look, Marcus, it’s obvious what you’re thinking about and you’re hoping to glean some sort of information based on my experience. However,” Levi said, his entire demeanor going from friendly conversation to a bit more somber. “Our stories are not the same. Moving back here wasn’t a choice; it was a necessity. Did things work out for me? Yes. I met Jade and it made me want to stay—not because of the town or even my family, but because I wanted to be with her. I had nothing to offer her at that point, just myself. I wasn’t clinging to another life or another place because this was where I was.”
“I get that, but…”
“I’m not done,” Levi firmly interrupted. “Don’t you dare come back here and get Billie’s hopes up and then leave again. Don’t do that to her. It’s not fair. She’s made a life for herself, and she deserves to be with someone who loves her for who she is and actually listens to what she wants.”
“I did listen…”
“No, you didn’t. You heard what she wanted, but you sure as hell didn’t listen. If you did, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now having this conversation. You had a life and a career that you wanted and for a long time, my sister was on that same path. Then she wasn’t. Instead of talking to her about it and trying to find a compromise, you put your needs first and refused to accept that she was having doubts. You can’t do that, Marcus. You can’t be in a relationship while solely being focused on yourself.”
“I wasn’t solely…”
“Dude, you were!” Levi shouted with a mirthless laugh. “Billie is the most understanding and giving person in the world. There isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for the people she loves. If anything, she gives so damn much that sometimes she forgets that it’s okay to take something for herself. You weren’t a giver, Marcus; you just took.”
It was pointless to argue because he was right.
“If you move back here and all you think about is everything you walked away from, it’s not going to be fair to Billie. I was a bit too self-absorbed when the two of you broke up the last time, so I didn’t get involved. This time, I will. You’re either all in, or you’re not. It’s as simple as that.”
“I want to be,” he gruffly admitted. “You have no idea how much I want to be. I just don’t know how to turn off a dozen or so years of…this.” Motioning to himself, he went on. “I don’t want to hurt your sister. Ever. Back then, I didn’t even realize I was doing it. All I want in this world is to make it up to her and make her happy. I want to give her everything she’s ever wanted, everything she deserves. I’m not perfect, Levi. I’m going to screw up from time to time. We all do.”
Nodding, Levi shifted slightly. “That’s true, but…look, you have to realize why I’m doubtful of you being able to do this, right? I mean, it wasn’t just ten years ago, Marcus. It’s still a thing for Billie. She still has insecurities and doubts about herself—doubts that you put there. You were gone and it was like your ghost was still here messing with her. Then you waltz right back into her life and get her all confused. She won’t admit it, but…we all know she got her hopes up when the two of you reconnected. If Ashlynn wasn’t pregnant, she probably would have had your damn testicles in a vise while beating the crap out of you. Hell, I was ready to warn you off myself when I heard you were back.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because my wife reminded me it had to be Billie’s decision.” His smile was tight as he sat there. “Personally, I didn’t think she’d fall for you again considering your history. But for some reason, she did, and all I can do is sit here and pretend that I’m not dying to kick your ass.”
“Fair enough,” he murmured, because really, what else could he say?
“I’m going to act like I’m asking you, but know that I’m telling you. Stop showing up every week. All you’re doing is having your cake and eating it too. Obviously, that’s a win for you, but for Billie? The only thing you’re doing is keeping her from having the life she deserves. Make up your mind, Marcus, and make it up soon, because if you keep coming around and messing with her, I’ll unleash everything I have on you.” Leaning forward, he added, “And so will everyone in this town. We’ll run your ass out of here for good, no matter how much we all genuinely like John and Max. Figure your shit out.”
With a curt nod, Levi got to his feet and grabbed them both bottles of water and Marcus had no choice but to stand and accept it. There wasn’t anything else to say because he did have to figure his shit out.
So instead of standing there awkwardly, he made small talk. “So, uh…your own advertising agency. That’s impressive.”
Levi smiled as he looked around. “It was something I always hoped to achieve, and thanks to the good people of Sweetbriar Ridge and Billie, it happened.”
“How did Billie play into it?”
“For starters, she was the one who took me in when I needed it. Then she encouraged me to work with local businesses, starting with Jade. That led to so many more opportunities, more than I thought possible. And when it was time to stop working at a table at Books Billie was still using her financial wizardry, just in a whole other way. Could he possibly do that?
“I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head, Marcus,” Levi said. “Billie does this because she loves it, and she loves us. She’s not looking at us as a way to make money, and she’s not doing it to justify her being here. Don’t think it can be the same for you.”
“I didn’t realize advertising execs read minds,” he said dryly.
“Not all minds, just yours.” He leaned in menacingly. “Don’t make the mistake of trying to ruin this for her by swooping in and taking over.”
“I wasn’t!”
“And don’t make the mistake of lying to me. I can smell bullshit from a mile away. Do us both a favor. Let’s chalk this up to a little social call and be done with it. Let’s not make this ugly.”
“Levi…”
“You mess with one Donovan, you mess with us all. Walk away and let Billie be happy. She deserves that more than anyone.”
Again, there wasn’t anything he could say to that, so…
“Thanks for the water and the chat,” he said, shaking Levi’s hand. “Take care of yourself.” And as he stepped into the elevator, he wondered if this whole thing made things easier for him or not.