Seek and Cherish: A small-town rockstar rom-com (Sanctuary Book 5)

CHAPTER SIX

Honey

“If you want this bonding experience, why not just tell your sisters about the treasure hunt so you can all do it together?” Lila leans against Marigold’s side and strokes her coarse fur. The big, brown cow practically purrs in contentment.

“They won’t want anything to do with it.” I’ve told Lila about the treasure map, because I needed to talk to someone about it, and she’s the most sensible person I know. “They hate our father for being a con artist. They won’t have any interest in treasure our thieving grandfather left behind.”

“But you think they’ll be into it if you find the treasure first and lead them to it?” She raises her brows to communicate any skepticism her voice lacks.

“It’ll be a fun way for us to spend time together. If they see our family legacy in such a tangible way, experience how much we’re a part of these mountains, maybe they’ll value our family more.” I know it’s a long shot, but it’s the best idea I’ve got. Based on the letter my father left with the map, there’s not just money to be found, but jewels and documents. The sorts of items that could tell a story about our grandfather and who he was. “But they’re never going to go along with it if it means trudging around the woods for weeks and months.”

She shrugs. “In my opinion, you’re lucky Bigfoot turned you down. Any man who wears a costume and runs around in the woods is more than capable of strangling you and burying your body in a shallow grave.”

“If he wanted to kill me, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t keep turning me down and telling me to stay away.”

“Maybe he’s protecting you from his dark side.” She lowers her voice to a deep, dramatic tone.

“I told you, Clover and Asher visit him and they gave him Barley Hopper. He can’t be all bad.” I throw up my hands. “But it won’t matter if I can’t convince him to help me.”

“You have to tell him the truth,” she says, as though it’s obvious. “He’s asked for you to open up to him, but you just keep trying to flirt with him or buy his help with goats. Just tell him the truth, show him how much this means to you, and I bet he’ll give in and help you.”

I’ve told Lila the barest minimum about my con-artist past, but I didn’t tell her about the persuasions I tried on Mac or that I broke into his house like a criminal. I just told her I flirted, and he didn’t like it. I trust Lila with my secrets, but I doubt she’ll want to be my friend anymore if she knows too much.

“I don’t think so,” I say. “He seemed pretty set on his decision.”

“I’d offer to help, but I’ve got a paper to write and an exam coming up in a couple weeks. Maybe after?”

“Maybe. Thank you.”

She steps away from Marigold and pulls me in for a quick hug. “Stop looking so sad. You’ll figure it out.”

I hold on tight to her hug. I haven’t had many real friends in my life and I appreciate her more than I can say.

She tilts her head to the side and gives me a long, thoughtful look. “Have you considered you’re trying to recapture a past that can’t be reclaimed? You and your sisters have all changed. Maybe you can’t have them all hanging out in the house like it would have been if they hadn’t moved out when you were a kid, but maybe you can have something better as adults.”

For the first time, I wish I’d never told her about my dream of a house filled with my sisters, all of us laughing together like one big, year-long slumber party. I can’t explain to her why I’m so certain I have to resort to schemes to get us all together and keep us all together. Schemes and elaborate plots are the only way I know to hold onto anyone.

Not that it’s worked out so far. I just don’t have any better ideas.

They weren’t supposed to fall in love. My plan to bring us all together again would have panned out if they hadn’t gotten distracted by good men.

Instead of explaining that to Lila, which I know would make me seem like a whiner, I smile brightly. “You’re probably right.”

She smiles back. “Like maybe you could have one-on-one time with each of them, get to know them better more slowly.”

That’s actually not a horrible idea. “You give the best advice.”

“It’s four years of psych classes.” She glances at her watch. “Speaking of which, I have to get going. I’ve got a discussion section in an hour.”

I wave her off and saunter to the barn to get back to work.

I’m halfway through mucking out a stall when Dani calls out to me.

“I’m in here,” I holler.

She steps into the barn, backlit by the setting sun. “There you are. I’m here to help.”

“Lila was here. I just have to finish this and two more stalls and we’re done for the night.”

She sighs heavily. “That’s good. I’m exhausted.”

I pause and lean on the pitchfork. “In that case, want to order in dinner and watch a movie?”

She stretches and yawns. “That sounds amazing, but I’m going to Grant’s parents’ house for dinner. It’s his sister’s birthday.”

Disappointment makes me lightheaded. Grant’s sister Hailey has helped us a lot with the farm, and I can’t begrudge Dani wanting to be there for her birthday, but I also can’t help being disappointed. “That should be fun. Go on and get ready. I’ve got this.”

Her shoulders drop with relief. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. There’s no point getting dirty for just a couple of stalls.”

“I’ll get ‘em next time.” She looks back over her shoulder as she walks away. “Rain check on the movie?”

“Of course.” I force a smile, hoping it doesn’t look fake, but she’s not paying attention.

By the time I finish cleaning the stalls, the sun is setting, painting the sky in oranges and pinks and casting shadows. I shiver as I hurry to the house. I hate the dark.

I’m passing the barn closest to the house when someone grabs me and pulls me into the shadows cast by the building.

When he shoves me against the side of the barn, his arm across my neck, I know exactly who’s got me. Fear spikes through me and I remind myself Dell’s always been a coward, sneaking around in the shadows instead of confronting me. Even last night, he didn’t stand in the light, but waited for me to come to him, his features obscured.

He’s harmless. That’s what I tell myself, but my body responds with adrenaline, recognizing a threat, and the urge to fight and run is strong.

The truth is, he might not be the same Dell I remember. He might be desperate enough to really hurt me and I can’t let him see I’m afraid.

I stay still, staring into the darkness like I’m bored. He lowers his arm to my clavicle, pinning me in place, but not cutting off my air supply.

“Dell.” I insert calm into my voice. “I don’t have your money yet.”

“I didn’t think you did.” His voice is strained, like even the action of pinning me has left him breathless. “I just want to inject urgency into the situation, Honeybun. I know where you live and I know your sisters are here. If you don’t get the money, I’ll burn this whole place to the ground.”

I laugh. “You’re not an arsonist.”

He huffs in irritation. “I don’t mean literally. I mean like figurally or whatever. I’ll tell your sisters about how you were a criminal and dating a low-life like me and they’ll kick you out and never speak to you again.”

That is almost worse than the idea of him literally burning down the house. “I’m not that person anymore. They’d see that.”

“People don’t change. You told me your sisters would never want to see you again if they knew you were conning people.”

Thathe chose to hear and remember. “People can change, Dell. You’re trying to change, right?”

He looks away, the dim light of the moon lighting his profile. “Right. But I can’t do that without help from you. How long until—” He hisses out a sharp breath and lowers his head.

I look down, peering into the deep grass, trying to see whatever he’s looking at. It has to be a snake, right?

The back of his head smacks my face so hard my head slams back into the side of the barn. “Ow.” I cup a hand over my cheekbone and eye socket, which are now throbbing.

“Shit.” Dell grips my chin with a tenderness that feels out of place. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I lower my hand, not wanting to look weak in front of him. “What were you looking at?”

“I felt something brush my leg. How can you live out here?”

I laugh, adrenaline and fear and sorrow mixing. “I guess I’ve changed.”

I’ve always smiled and laughed at the wrong times, found humor in the grim or intractable. I’m glad of it now.

Dell takes a step back. “You’re as weird as ever, baby.” There’s fondness in the comment.

“What went wrong?”

Dell doesn’t ask what I mean. He knows. “You left. We couldn’t keep the scam running on our own.”

That’s a lie. He and Maya had it under control. As much as I needed to be done with them, I wouldn’t have left them in a bad situation. Of course, I tried to convince them to go straight, but I couldn’t force them to do anything.

There’s only one other thing that could have gotten them into trouble. I’ve long suspected it, but I want to hear it from Dell. I want to be absolved of some of my guilt. “You got greedy.”

His laugh is dark and dry. “Why shouldn’t I have gotten greedy? I’ve had nothing, while people stupider and crueler than me get rich every day. Why should I struggle when I have what it takes to rise above?”

There was a time I believed Dell loved me. I always knew he loved money and booze more, but at that time in my life, any scraps of love I could gather up felt like enough. And Dell was handsome and fun and incredibly charismatic.

The man before me is broken and bitter and angry at the world.

Being afraid of him feels too much like being afraid of my own shadow. All he has to do to bring me to my knees is reveal my darkness to my sisters. I am the weapon he’ll use against me.

As long as he has the mindset that the world owes him something, he’s never going to get anywhere. “But you’re going to do it the legal way this time, right? You’re going to earn an honest living to get that good life.” I don’t buy his story for a second, but I’ll pretend to if it convinces him to back off for a while.

“Only if you get me the money I need to get started.” He strokes a finger over my cheek. “I never had a rich daddy to give me a leg up in life. I need your help.”

He knows I never had that either. My father stopped paying child support as soon as he was legally able and he didn’t always make the payments before that.

Dell isn’t in a place where he’ll be able to hear that, though. “I’m doing what I can, but it’s going to take time.”

“I’ll be checking in until you have it for me.” He spins on his heel and runs full tilt into the darkness. He’s breathing so hard I can hear it from here.

***

For once, I’m glad when the kitchen is empty, and the house is silent. Cupping a hand over my cheek, I slip off my shoes by the back door and hurry through the house, my socked feet slipping on the smooth hardwood floors.

I sprint up the spiral staircase and down the hall to my room, darting inside and closing the door gently behind me.

A sigh leaves me and I start to shake, the adrenaline of what just happened hitting me for the first time. My body’s finally releasing the fear that’s been a tight knot held inside since Dell pinned me against the barn wall.

My body never responds first with fear. It’s always fight mode for me. Fight and never let them see any emotion from me other than mocking amusement. It’s saved me more times than I can count.

Cowards always think I have some surprise weapon up my sleeve when I show no fear.

I wrap my arms around myself and slide down the closed door to sit on my soft, carpeted floor. It’s not the first time I’ve had this feeling, but it’s the first time I’ve had it alone.

I breathe slow and deep, hearing my father’s calming words in my head. Just breathe, Honey Bear. Nothing can hurt you here.

It was a rare moment of tenderness from my father. At once, one of my worst memories and one of my best.

Once the shaking has stopped and I’ve caught my breath, I flip the light switch to illuminate my sanctuary. Most people would probably be surprised by just how pink and fluffy my room is. My black hair and piercings and tattoos are my outer shell, the hardness that deflects trouble before it starts.

My room is my marshmallowy center no one gets to see. Not ever. My sisters would see it, but we’ve had no heart-to-hearts in here, no movie montage girls’ night of spa treatments and movies.

It’s just me and my room filled with pastels and soft materials. No florals, just comforting colors and fabrics. The coziest place on earth.

The floor is hardwood, but I’ve covered it with overlapping area rugs with a high pile and in varying shades of green. I pull off my socks and let my bare feet sink into the softness as I cross the room to my en-suite bathroom.

My cheek is already swelling.

“Damn it, Dell.” I splash cold water on the bruise. This is definitely going to leave a mark. As a reminder of this awful day and worse night.

“Such a fuckup.” I stare at myself in the mirror. I’m trying. I’m really trying to get it right, but I feel like I’m swimming upstream in the wrong direction.

I don’t wear a lot of make-up and doubt what I have will hide the incipient bruise, so I make up a story as I head downstairs to get something to eat.

I’m halfway through a dinner of leftovers when Goldy walks into the kitchen. She’s laughing with Daisy about something.

They stop when they see me, eyes going wide. “What happened?” Goldy asks.

I smile to ease her worry. I’m over my shakes, but the sick feeling in my gut still lingers.

My two worlds are colliding, and I have no way to stop it. Other than to find the damn money and get Dell out of here.

“It’s nothing. I tripped over the pitchfork and kissed a stall door with my face.”

Goldy crosses the room and kneels next to me, her expression as concerned as it was when I was a little girl and I skinned my knee or fell out of a tree. She cups my cheek and looks into my eyes. “Any headache or nausea?”

I almost want to lie to her, just so she’ll tuck me into bed and sit with me, keeping me awake in case I have a concussion. “No headache. No nausea. I’m good enough for an impromptu band practice tonight, since you and Daisy are here.”

Her slow blink is all the answer I need. “I’ve got a chapter to write this evening. I’m sorry.”

“Sure.” I turn to Daisy. “You up for it?”

Daisy, to her credit, meets my gaze and doesn’t wince. “I’ve got an early morning meeting, but I could play for a little while.”

She is not enthusiastic, so I give her the out she wants. “It’s probably better if we wait until we’re all together.”

Her smile is grateful as she crosses the kitchen to the refrigerator.

When we were kids, my father had this dream of us five sisters playing together and touring the country as a bluegrass band. I don’t think my sisters were ever into the idea of fame or being band mates for the next twenty years, but I was all in. It sounded like an absolute dream to me, to be with my sisters all the time, playing music and seeing the world.

My sisters were so happy when it didn’t work out and Dad let up on making us practice three hours a day. We still played together and had fun, but it wasn’t the same.

My little eight-year-old heart was absolutely shattered, and it was the first time I realized my sisters didn’t want to be together all the time. They didn’t share my dream.

It was the first time I wondered if maybe I was the problem.

“We’re still on for practice on Friday night,” Goldy says.

“Friday night?” Daisy asks. “Noah and I were—” She glances at Goldy and stops. “I’m in. I’ll be here.”

I don’t have to look at Goldy to know she’s giving Daisy a look, probably a glare. I appreciate my sisters want to do this for me. I just wish they wanted to do it for themselves.

I wish we could all be closer. Maybe that’s something that can’t be forced, but I’m still going to try.

“Great.” I get up and carry my dishes over to the sink to rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher. “I think I’ve got us a gig in Vance Vale next month.”

“Are you sure we’re ready?” Daisy asks.

“We’ll practice and get ready. I’ve got a new song for us to try.”

“One you wrote?” Goldy asks.

I nod.

“Your lyrics are so beautiful. You should consider putting them together in a book of poetry.”

“Lovemore Books would be all over that.” Daisy’s eyes light with interest.

They’re just being extra nice to make up for not playing with me tonight. I’m no poet, I just like writing songs. “Lovemore only publishes romance.”

Daisy shrugs. “We’re thinking about branching out and poetry would be a great place to start. We would love to publish more local authors.” She gives Goldy a pointed look.

Goldy holds up her hands. “I’m sure Lovemore is great, Daisy, but I’ve told you, I prefer having complete control of my work.” Daisy is an editor at Lovemore Publishing and Goldy is an indie author of erotic romance books.

Daisy smiles smugly. “Just give me time. I’ll change your mind.”

They leave the kitchen, arguing good-naturedly. A month ago, I’d’ve said Goldy and Daisy working together would be a disaster, but they’ve gotten closer since Daisy discovered a love of reading and editing romance books after a career editing literary fiction.

They spend more time together than they did as teenagers. They’re living my dream.

I just need to get them to spend more time with me and Dani and Clover. I need to get this treasure hunt together before our year of living together is over. Before Dell spills all my darkest secrets.

In my room, I dial my cousin Levi.

“I was just about to call you,” he says. “What do you have for me?”

“That’s my line.”

“You first. If you can’t give me what I want—”

“Ugh, fine. You’re acting like an eleven-year-old, you know.”

“She won’t even speak to me, Honey. She’s got some twisted, warped idea of who I am and—”

“Created by your own actions.”

“I’m not that guy anymore, but she won’t even give me the chance to prove it. I need a way in.”

I sigh heavily. Betraying the sisterhood is not what I want to do, but he’s leaving me no other choice. “She was at the diner with Ellery a few days ago. They seem to be friends. They’re starting some secret, underground poker group, but you—”

“Get me into it. Can you bring a guest?”

“It’s women only. And if you tell anyone about it, I’ll release those videos I have of you with the attack groundhog.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would dare. You betray me, I betray you, that’s how it works.”

The groundhog video is actually adorable. A seven-year-old Levi sneaks up and pets it, but it wakes up and attacks him with claws and teeth.

Levi is embarrassed about the way he screamed in fright and burst into tears - he wasn’t hurt - and I’ve been holding it over his head ever since. My mom made the video and I have the only extant copy.

“You know I won’t tell anyone,” he says. “What else have you got for me?”

“That’s it.”

“A women’s only poker group? What am I going to do with that? You have to find something else, or at least drop hints about what kind of guy I am.”

Like she won’t see right through that. “I’ll do what I can. What have you got for me?”

“It took me like two minutes and a social media search to find out Maya’s not dead.”

The deep sorrow that’s been tightening my chest for the past two days eases. “Are you sure?”

“She’s married with a kid and living in Roanoke. Looks like the kid’s two or five. Definitely not driving yet.”

I snort out a laugh mingled with relief. Of course, Dell would equate marriage and parenthood with death. “What did you find out about Dell?”

“Nothing. The guy’s a ghost. I’ll keep digging, but I’d guess he’s living off the grid or he’s unemployed with no possessions. I did find out he’s got an arrest record, grand theft auto, but that’s all I got.”

“Thanks for trying. Can you get me contact info for Maya?”

“I’ll text it over.”

“Can you do me another favor?”

He groans. “I’m not a private investigator, Honey. I’m an electrician.”

“An electrician with the skills of a private investigator. That sounds like the start of a cozy mystery. I think Gentry likes reading cozy mysteries.”

“Really?” His excitement is adorable.

“No idea, but I’ll find out if you dig up whatever you can about a guy named Mac Skillworth.”

“What else have you got on him?”

“He claims he’s a music professor.”

He sighs. “There’s got to be ten thousand Mac Skillworths in the world. What state is the guy from? What’s his state of residence?”

“Maybe this one? Just start here. He’s about twenty-five to thirty, probably closer to twenty-five. He’s got purple hair and blue eyes if that helps.”

I can hear Levi rolling his eyes. “Whatever. I’ll see what I can dig up. Just drop some hints about me with Gentry and find out if she’d be more into a private investigator or an electrician.”

“You considering a career change to win her over?”

“I’m not counting anything out.”