Seeking Salvation: A Shadow Elite Novel

Chapter 9

Titan hadno idea where he was going when he got in his car and gunned it away from the chaos of his thoughts. All he knew was the urge to run and to fight was riding him so hard he couldn’t stay in that room and not tear it apart. He was always so calm, so in control and relaxed about situations but this was out of his control and he hated it.

Ever since his ‘death’ and ‘rebirth’ at Shadow, he’d left behind the man who’d been the leader of the Onyx Vipers and, with it, all anger and fear that went with that life. He’d nothing left to lose. Yes, his team meant a lot to him, they were his chosen family, but since his ‘death’, he’d felt a freedom from the ties of blood and now he felt it coiling tight again. He had a son, a child of his blood, who shared his DNA. He’d vowed to never have a family, to never risk that kind of loss or rejection again. Yet now here he was, with a child and a woman who made him damn near lose his mind in under twenty-four hours.

His car slid into the empty spot beside Decker’s Audi at the Eidolon complex and he wondered why he’d felt drawn here. Why his instincts had driven him to seek out the one person who should hate him more than any other.

Mitch.

His old friend, the man whom he’d almost destroyed when he’d kidnapped his woman and child. Shame slithered through him when he thought back to that time, which he did often. His quest for vengeance over the loss of his older brother, Devon, had almost cost him his life. In some ways it had.

A knock on his window made him jump and he looked up to see Mitch looking at him with a raised brow.

“You getting out or you want to finish listening to your love ballad?”

Titan felt his lips twist in a smirk. “Dick.”

He switched off the engine and pushed out of the car, coming face to face with his old frenemy. Mitch clasped his hand and pulled him into a one-shouldered hug.

“How you doin’?”

“Good, man. Good.”

Titan leaned back against his bonnet and Mitch mirrored him, hands in his pockets, shoulders relaxed. “How do you do it, man?”

Mitch cocked his head, the slight flecks of grey in his hair caught by the sun and giving away his age. He was late forties now but still heavily muscled and strong, his body kept in peak physical condition by his job here at Eidolon. “Do what?”

“Look at me without the urge to kill me?”

Mitch smirked. “Who says I don’t want to kill you?”

Titan chuckled but it held no humour. “If you wanted to, I’d be dead and we both know it.”

“Maybe.”

Mitch looked off into the distance as the silence around them settled into something almost peaceful. Titan found the tension in his chest easing, the fire burning under his skin cooling.

“You know why we send you those pictures of our kids, Titan?”

Titan shook his head. It had puzzled him since the first one had landed in his inbox. “No.”

“Because I never want you to forget that you made the right choice in the end. That those kids, my wife, my whole world, are happy and thriving because, ultimately, you walked away from the hate and allowed love to win.”

Titan was shocked by that, but he shouldn’t be. Mitch had always been the best of them growing up. Even with the age difference between them, he’d known it in his young brain. He’d just forgotten when the grief got too much and vengeance had been the only thing keeping him alive. “It was a close call.”

Mitch looked at him, his brow furrowed. “Bullshit. Autumn told me every detail about that day and do you know the thing that sticks out to her the most about all of it?”

Titan shook his head again.

“Maggie. How she’d laid her head on your shoulder and felt relaxed enough to sleep. That little girl trusted you, and you treated her with nothing but gentleness.”

“She saved me.”

“They saved me too, brother.”

Titan felt his body prickle with relief when Mitch called him that. He’d forfeited that right a long time ago and yet hearing it settled something inside him. “I have a son.”

Mitch nodded slowly. “I heard.”

Titan chuckled. He shouldn’t be surprised. Everything Shadow knew, Eidolon knew first. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, you do. You love him and you teach him how to navigate this world in a healthy way.”

“What if I can’t?”

Mitch cupped the back of his neck, tight. “You can and you will. Give him the life you never had. Give him that security you craved.”

“It’s complicated, but I’ll have to raise him on my own by the looks of it.”

“Mother not want him?”

So they didn’t know everything. “She’s dead. His aunt is caring for him right now and she’s in trouble with some bad people.”

“I’m real sorry to hear that, but she couldn’t have found herself a better man to step up and you’re not alone.”

“You really believe that, don’t you?”

“I do. You’ll fix this situation and raise your son to become a better man than us.”

Titan couldn’t help the snort. “Than me, definitely, but there isn’t a better man than you, Mitch.”

Mitch laughed and released his neck, putting some space between them. “Can you tell my wife that?”

“She knows. She’s lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one. I don’t deserve a woman like Autumn, God knows it.”

Titan grinned. “You are kinda punching above your weight with her.”

“No ‘kinda’ about it. I’m definitely not in her league.”

“True dat.”

Titan kicked at the ground feeling more positive and calmer than he had since Tyrique had entered his life.

“So the aunt. She nice?”

Titan thought about Maya, her fierceness, her protective streak, her absolute love and devotion to Tyrique, and lastly how she made him feel like he was on a roller coaster with his arms in the air, pure joy pumping through his veins. “She’s amazing.”

Mitch laughed then, a full belly laugh that had Titan frowning. “Did I miss something?”

“Oh, you’re so fucked.”

“Meaning?”

“You like her.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Mitch pointed at him as he smiled. “That right there is how Autumn made me feel from the second I laid eyes on her.”

“It’s different.”

“Nope, it’s not but you carry on lying to yourself. It will just make it all the more fun to watch.”

“Whatever, asshole. I gotta go.” Titan punched his arm, feeling the sudden need to get back to Maya and Tyrique.

Mitch offered his hand and Titan clasped it tight.

“Be safe, brother, and I want to meet that boy of yours real soon.”

Titan nodded, hating the lump in his throat. He didn’t deserve his friend’s forgiveness but he’d take it and cherish it. “I’d like that too.”

The drive back to Longtown gave him time to think about Maya and why she’d demanded to be involved despite the danger, and he realised that she needed to see this through just like he had for Devon. Now he just needed to apologise and hope he hadn’t fucked it all up before anything even had the chance to start.

Walking through the doors to the Mountain Rescue, he checked every room for some sign of her and then checked his phone.

Watchdog: She’s in your room at the compound.

He quickenedhis step as he headed for the elevator that would take him underground into the world of secrets that was his life. That Bás had authorised her entry told how much he trusted her.

He passed Duchess with a wave as she went to speak to him, but he didn’t want to stop. “Later, Duchess.”

“Fine.”

He slowed when he reached his door, wanting to calm his racing heart before he headed inside. His apartment was sparse but clean and comfortable. It contained a small white kitchen with an open floor plan into the living area, light oak flooring, a dark green rug with a glass coffee table, and a jade green sofa in front of a huge TV, but there was no sign of Maya or Tyrique.

The silence though was different to when he was alone here. It was as if her presence in his space warmed him in some way. Scattered the empty corners with life. He headed for his bedroom and stopped short at the door, his breath hissing out of him as he paused on the threshold.

Maya lay on her side in the middle of his bed, her knees curled up, her arm around the sleeping child beside her. Her long lashes fanned her cheeks, her lips parted as she slept. Titan had never seen himself with a happy ever after. He’d never been destined to be the prince in his story or anyone else’s, just the villain, and yet, as he watched her, he craved it like a drug.

On silent feet he walked up to the bed and looked down at them, his son with his thumb in his mouth, his body relaxed as he slept on his back, Maya’s hand over his tummy. Maya was wildly beautiful, like the sea during a storm. She whimpered in her sleep, her brow furrowing, and he sat beside her, careful not to disturb her, but wanting to soothe her anguish.

His fingers traced her brow as if he wanted to iron out the frown. Her skin was like silk beneath his calloused fingers and he had the urge to press his lips against her cheek to see if it felt as soft on his lips.

Her eyes flashed open, dark and slumberous, and he froze, waiting for the barrage of her anger to hit him full force. His mother, God rest her soul, had always hit first and asked questions second. Maya didn’t. She watched him, a latent hunger in her eyes as her gaze fell to his lips and he felt his dick harden against his jeans.

Never in all his life had been so attracted to someone, and not just on a physical level. He wanted to sit and listen to her talk, to hear about her life, her hopes, her dreams. He felt ensnared in her gaze, the heat growing impossible beneath his skin. Mitch was right, he was fucked. But instead of wanting to run far and fast from the feeling, he had the overwhelming urge to run to her instead and let the flames burn. “I’m sorry, Maya.”

Her brown eyes softened, her lips hitching up slightly and he almost fell to his knees for her.

“I know and I’m sorry, too. I want us to find a way to make this whatever it is work between us, even if that’s just a cordial friendship, Ti. I need Tyrique to have security from those he loves. We’re all he has.”

“I want that, too.”

The truth was, he wanted way more than that, he wanted it all, but he didn’t say that. It was too soon, too new. He needed to make her see what they could have, how good he knew it could be, and she was still in fight or flight mode.

“Truce?” She held his gaze as she reached for his hand, linking her fingers with his and pulling him down with them. Titan lay on his side behind her, his body cocooning them both and wrapped them in his arms. A feeling of absolute peace fell over him as she snuggled back against him as if she wanted to sink into his body.

His arm tightened on her hip and her scent filled his nose, her satiny hair tickling his cheek. He wanted to offer her the world, but he didn’t. He’d take this as slow as she needed. He couldn’t have her thinking he only wanted her as a mother for his son.

“I think we can do better than a truce, Maya.” He felt her smile against his cheek and fought his own. “Did you just roll your eyes at me, baby?”

“Maybe.”

Titan smiled then, her answer telling him that maybe she wanted this as much as he did, and slow wasn’t on her cards either.