27. Seraphina
27
SERAPHINA
M y phone was at my ear the second my flip-flops hit the lawn outside.
Loki’s phone went straight to voicemail. “ Leave a message, and I’ll return your call when I’m available .”
I tried Blaze. Same—no ring, right to voicemail. “ Hey, it’s me. Leave a message, and I’ll give you a call back when I can .”
My stomachache was back.
When I dialed Hawk, I shut my eyes like that could shield me from the inevitable. “ Sorry I missed you. Please leave a message .”
I veered away from the dorms and instead stalked toward the natatorium. I’d already gone for a swim once today at morning practice, but I needed to channel the anger and frustration boiling inside me somehow. If I didn’t, it was going to immolate me right here on the lawn, a sacrifice to the cancerous patriarchy that was the root of all my problems.
I swam laps for an hour and a half. After the first hour, Paige showed up with my big orange towel that had a cartoon cow on it, folded it into a pillow, and sat on a bleacher to scroll on her phone. I also caught her darting scrutinizing glances my way every time I popped my head up to take a breather.
Afterwards, as I dried off in the locker room, I called the guys again. Straight to voicemail again for all three. This time, I put on my big girl panties and left a short message for each in which I stated that I had something important to discuss with them and politely requested a call back.
Paige leaned against the lockers, her arms crossed over her cardigan. She said nothing as she watched me shove things into my gym bag like I hated them.
When I finally slung my bag over my shoulder and prepared to leave, she gave me an expectant look. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I gave in. As we strolled across the quad under the setting sun, I told her everything. Not just about the final ultimatum I’d received from my dad and the dean regarding my only path to avoiding expulsion, but I also admitted that the times I’d been “working” this semester had not, in fact, been for Jere, but instead for three sexy, dangerous Alphas who I’d met on a job. I briefly explained what Hart had been involved in and how we’d been chasing the people at the top.
I came clean about my impetuous one-night stand and the fact that I’d endured the effects of Hart’s injection just as she had—except I’d had help.
And I finally admitted, to her and to myself, that I had fallen for them.
Her eyes had grown wider and wider the longer I’d talked. We were now sitting at a table in the dining hall, where she’d herded me so that we could take the “hangry edge” off my mood.
“And now,” I said around a mouthful of burrito, “I need them. I need them, and they aren’t answering their phones. Their phones aren’t even on .”
Still, she just stared at me. Then, after a long, tense moment, she let out an ear-piercing squeal of joy. “You found your pack!”
“Shh, Jesus, Paige,” I hissed, darting a look around the room.
“I can’t believe you kept all of this from me!”
“I didn’t want to… worry you.”
She arched a brow. “Oh, yes, I would’ve been so worried about all the Alpha dick you’ve been getting .”
Gasps and giggles sounded from a table of freshmen nearby.
“Will you keep it down ?” I whisper-shouted at her.
“I cannot believe you had sex with three Alphas during a heat event, and they kept their teeth out of your neck,” she mused. “They must have insane control. And really care about doing right by you.”
“Or they don’t want me like that,” I said, slouching in my chair.
She burst out laughing.
I glared at her.
“Please,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. “Spare me. They came here for you.”
“Uh, no. They came here for Hart.”
“Sure they did.”
I flapped a hand at her. Trying to argue about this was a losing battle. “None of this matters if I can’t get ahold of them. I need a pack by Monday. Preferably before Saturday, when my loving parents have decided once again that forcing a choosing gala on their unwilling child is the correct way to handle life-changing decisions.”
“It actually ended up working out great for your brothers.”
I scowled. “They got lucky.”
“What I want to know is,” she went on, taking a delicate sip through the straw of her Diet Coke, “why you’re still sitting here arguing with me. The Seraphina I know does not sit around, sulking. She goes out and takes what she wants.”
I frowned. “You mean, what? Just go over to their Airbnb and beg them to be my Alphas?”
“Yes. But no begging. They should be begging you , after all. You guys are a match made in psycho-killer heaven, and they should be so lucky.”
I considered it. She was right, really. It wasn’t like me to while away the days, fretting. Pining . I took action first and worried about the consequences later.
Finally, a grin bloomed on my face. “Okay. I’ll go right now.”
She slapped a hand on the table. “Yes! Then please try to pause before you all start fucking again to call me and tell me everything.”
I snorted. “Fine.” I stood up, shouldered my backpack, and gave her one last grateful look. “Thank you, Paige.”
“You’re welcome. I’m so happy for you.”
We exchanged big, knowing smiles, and then I hurried from the dining hall.
I had Alphas to claim.
The townhome was completely dark. It was a little after 9:00 p.m., and it wasn’t unexpected that they’d still be at their local headquarters—wherever that was—working hard on their investigation. Big things had to be happening in the wake of the confrontation at the lake. I knew what it was like to pull long days at Bryce Solutions when Jere and I were particularly close to nailing our target’s location.
As I exited my car, I held tight to the hope that they’d return sometime tonight. I’d wait as long as it took.
Using the code Loki left me last weekend, I let myself inside.
The first thing I noticed was that it smelled like bleach and the chemical scent of lemon cleaner.
No hints of vanilla bourbon, or woodsy fires, or cloves.
I flipped a light switch next to the front door. The metal chandelier that hung over the large dining room table flickered on, illuminating the small living room. There was just enough light to see into the spacious kitchen just beyond the table.
The house was deserted.
No worn T-shirts tossed over the couch. No shoes by the door or at the foot of the stairs. No dishes in the sink. No charging cords cluttering the table.
I checked the coat closet under the stairs. No jackets, no boots, and no inexplicable bo staff.
In a fugue state, I wandered up the stairs. Each bedroom had been cleaned from top to bottom, the sheets washed and the beds made. No suitcases. No manly toiletries in the bathrooms. No lingering scents belying the copious amounts of sex we’d had in this house five nights ago.
They were gone.
Like, gone gone.
Checked out. Not coming back to the house, which had been made ready for its next renter.
We don’t want that either, Princesa .
I’m sorry this was forced on you, Little Flame. On all of us.
This wasn’t what we wanted.
Fuck, I was an idiot.
With Hart eliminated, they didn’t need me anymore. They didn’t even need to be in this city anymore. Of course they’d checked out and returned to their home base. They needed the entirety of Sentinel to take on the Ussuri.
They’d probably even used secondary phones when they were here and ditched them the moment they left town.
Had they used me? There’d been no agreements between us beyond enlisting my help to surveil and nab Hart. There was chemistry between us—fucking boatloads, no one could deny it—but so much of that could just be chalked up to the fact that they were unbonded Alphas and I was an omega.
My surprise heat had snuck up on all of us, and Alpha instincts could override even the staunchest of reservations. I’d basically trapped them—leaving an omega to suffer a heat alone would be nearly as painful for them as it would be for the omega.
They were young, successful, and hotter than sin. There was no rush for them to bond an omega, if they even wanted something so permanent.
I didn’t know because I’d refused to ask—even in the wake of one of the best nights of my life.
Hell, I didn’t even know their real names .
No, they hadn’t used me.
They didn’t ask for me to go and fall in love with them.
Because I had. I really fucking had.
I’d realized it before the heat. Even before the insanity of the operation to rescue Paige.
Not to anyone who knows the real you, Lamb.
In that moment, their pheromones had comingled into something so decadent, I’d wanted to bathe in it forever. They did know the real me, and they were among only a handful of people who could say the same.
That was when I knew.
They didn’t know how I felt, of course, because me falling in love with them wasn’t what any of this had been about. We had fun, they finished what they needed to here, and they went home.
But they still should’ve said goodbye.
I deserved at least that. An explanation would’ve been appreciated too.
No matter how many times I tried to rationalize their leaving in my head as I zombie-walked down the stairs and out the door, it didn’t help.
It didn’t spare me the feeling that my heart was being carved from my chest. Every breath hurt. Tears stung my eyes, and refusing to let them fall sucked every ounce of energy I had from my body and soul.
I slid behind my steering wheel, locked the car, and closed my eyes.
I was an idiot.
The happily ever after for omegas was such a fucking lie .
And I’d done the thing I said I’d never do.
I bought into the lie.
And now, as I sat alone in a dark car, trembling violently and lacking the will to even turn on the ignition, I was paying for it.