Chapter Fourteen
Lauren
Braxton’s Campground
S eeking a moment of sanity, I step out onto the lower level of a double-decker wrap-around porch and breathe in the fresh evening air. The view of the lake is framed by a lush green lawn and trees turning vibrant colors. I wrap my arms around myself as the wind brings a hint of chill.
The door behind me opens and closes. “Mom? How are you holding up?”
“I’m fine,” I answer automatically.
Ashley hugs me, laying her head on my shoulder briefly. “It’s okay to not be.”
I hug her back and admit, “I haven’t felt uncertain of myself in a very long time. When I originally chose my career over your father, I worried it had been a selfish decision. I believe in the value of a strong family unit. I wanted you to have that, but— ”
“You had a calling to heal people. If he truly loved you he would have embraced that side of you too.” Her expression tightens. “We were and are better off without him. I can’t love a man, even if his sperm made it possible for me to be here, if I don’t respect him.”
I nod, then turn to look out over the water again. There’s a peacefulness here despite the toys, bikes, and canoes stacked in every corner of it. A well-used fire pit surrounded by Adirondack chairs is mirrored on the other side of the lawn by an impressive-sized wooden playground built around a treehouse. Braxton said his family gathers here, and evidence of them enjoying spending time together is everywhere. What would my life have been like had I chosen a man like him to have a family with?
“So,” Ashley says slowly, “Braxton set us up. Every fridge is stocked. He filled one of the cabins with so much lab equipment I’d be surprised if you need any of what Cheryl brought.”
“I saw.”
“You didn’t tell him what we need it for?”
“I told him I couldn’t.”
“I spoke to Ray about Braxton. If he was someone we’d just met, involving him would be dangerous, but I don’t remember a time before Braxton.” When I don’t say anything, she adds, “Why have you never dated him?”
“It’s not like that with us.”
Her tone fills with humor. “I bet if you gave him any encouragement at all, it quickly would be.”
My chin rises. “Pete believes Braxton is in love with me.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I haven’t let myself put much thought into it.”
“Because you’re scared?”
After inhaling sharply, I answer, “Maybe.”
“Oh, Mom. Any man would be lucky to have you in his life.”
I steep in my feelings, my face crumpling as I face an ugly truth. “What would you think if I said I chose to touch the silverware because I wanted someone to love me, and I knew they wouldn’t have a choice but to?”
Ashley sniffs loudly. “I’d say welcome to healing. You’ve closed people out for so long. It’s past time to let someone in.”
“It was a selfish decision.”
“Mom, whose standards are you trying to live up to? No one is perfect. Do you think any of us know what we’re doing? I took Ray home mostly as a joke, but also because I wanted someone of my own too. Ray is a little old-fashioned, extremely protective and I’d never say it in public, but I kind of love that about him.” She puts an arm around me. “As far as feeling guilty, Pete, Franklin, and Elliot admire you. The men you’ll bring back tonight eventually will as well. Do you know how I know that? Because you are amazing, and I’m not just saying that because you’re my mom. ”
How could I not smile with gratitude at that? “Thank you. You’re pretty amazing too. And I’m not just saying that because I’m your mother.” I blink back emotion. After a pause, I say, “I told Braxton I’d call him once we settled in. It’s probably too late to.”
“Mom?”
“Yes.”
“Give the man a chance.”
I snort. “You can say that now? In the middle of this? When I’m about to fill the house with five more men who’ll be enamored with me?”
She hugs me closer. “We’re staying at Braxton’s house. You’ve already involved him. And really, what’s one more?”
I’m still shaking my head a moment after she walks into the house. I take out my phone and call Braxton. I start with, “If you’re in bed just say so and I can call back tomorrow.”
His chuckle is deep and I warm all over as it tickles my ear. “I am in bed, but don’t let that ever stop you from joining me.” He clears his throat. “ Calling me.”
I smile at that. “Always the flirt.”
“Only with you.”
My heart flutters in my chest. Could he mean that? “How was your day?”
“Productive.”
Usually this is where I’d pivot the conversation, but I don’t know if I want to close him out anymore. “What did you do? ”
Without hesitation, he walks me through the meetings he arranged and how happy he is with the renovations. There’s humble pride in his voice when he shares how he secured additional funding from the HSE. “I’m sorry,” he says in a rush. “I didn’t mean to go on and on.”
“No, I’m glad you did. Is your focus always on burn units?”
He’s quiet for a moment then says, “My career as a firefighter came to an abrupt halt when we were called to the home of a prepper who sadly kept extremely flammable liquids within his home. There was a flashover that went beyond what my bodygear could protect me from. Luckily, my third-degree burns were contained to my chest and upper arms.”
“Luckily,” I echoed in a sad whisper.
“I lost the next few years to skin grafts and reconstructive surgery. My expensive suits hide a lot of creative landscape.” His voice is tight and the joke falls flat.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. I survived and good things have come from the experience. I wouldn’t be where I am, doing what I’m doing, if I hadn’t gone through that.”
And somehow, despite those challenges, he’s consistently found ways to bring smiles to me and my children. “The campground is amazing. It’s beautiful. And then all the food. The lab equipment. It’s too much, but it’s also exactly what we needed. Thank you. ”
“You’re welcome. When I return, I’d like to come see you there.”
Not only did it feel wrong to say no, but I didn’t want to. Still, he needed some kind of heads-up. “Braxton, things here are complicated.”
“In what way?”
“So, so many ways.”
“Would it help to talk about it?”
“Not over the phone.” I groan and lower my voice. “Braxton, the situation is potentially a dangerous one. I’ve involved you already by bringing everyone to your home and I’m wrestling with that. You don’t have to get pulled in deeper. I’d still respect you if you wanted to wait until this shitstorm passes before we... we...”
“Hold on. There’s a lot to unwrap here. First of all, if you are working yourself up to asking me on a date, the answer is yes.”
I laugh at that because I kind of was. “Whew, glad we have the hard part resolved.”
His tone remains serious. “As far as you potentially being in danger, there’s nothing in Ireland that can’t be handled by phone. I just texted my pilot. We’ll talk about the rest in person tomorrow.”
“Oh, oh.” I clench the phone. “Tomorrow?”
“Only because teleportation isn’t yet a thing.”
“This isn’t a joke, Braxton.”
“Good, because I’m serious. Should I come armed? ”
“No. Yes. Maybe.” God, I hadn’t expected him to drop everything and return. “How can you agree to help without having any idea what we’re doing?”
“Because I know you, Lauren. This was important enough for you to take time away from the hospital. Whatever you’re doing, I’m all in.”
“Even if I’m out here burying bodies on your property?”
“Just don’t mess up the front lawn; I worked hard to get it that nice.”
I sigh. “Braxton.”
“Lauren.”
“Your view of the world and how it works will forever be changed if you come here. Are you okay with that?”
“Do you want me there?”
Whoosh, that’s a question I’m not prepared for. Had he asked me if I needed him I would have quickly denied that I did. Needing anyone is hard for me. But want him? Could I admit that much?
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Then I’m on my way.”