Session 33

Chapter sixty two

Another session.

Another thousand dollars.

I sat across from Dr. Reed,fidgeting at the hem of my shirt. She was watching me, waiting. The way her eyes held mine made me feel uncomfortable, but I kept talking.

"My daddy never hit me or my mom," I continued, feeling the words thick in my throat. "But he’d punch walls, yell at the top of his lungs like he was trying to tear the house down. He had this booming voice, like thunder, and it used to send chills down my back." I always wanted to hide when he started yelling, but he made me stand there and take it.

Dr. Reed nodded, her face soft. "How often did that happen?"

"It wasn’t an everyday thing," I said quickly, feeling the need to defend him. "We’d go months, and he’d be okay. He could be really sweet, you know? Like, he’d fix things around the house, take me and my mom out to dinner, but then something would set him off. And it didn’t matter who was around when he got mad. He’d just explode." I hated the way he talked down to my mother. I said I would never be her.

I paused, the memories heavy in my chest. "That’s why I never really dated when he was alive. I didn’t make friends either. I didn’t want to introduce people to my daddy who didn’t care if there were people in the house when he was pissed off. He would go off regardless."

Dr. Reed’s expression didn’t change, but it felt like she was listening more closely, if that was possible. Waiting for me to give her the exact moment my life became fucked—well, not really fucked, just slightly off track. I grew up never wanting for anything, and my parents were loving most of the time. They wanted the best for me.

She let the silence stretch until I continued.

"I think that’s why I excused Cassius’s behavior so many times," I admitted, the realization hitting me as I spoke. He reminded me of my daddy. In a messed-up way, we had that in common. Cassius was the only person who could get under my skin like that, the only one who could make me act like my daddy. I’d yell, I’d throw things. I was out in the streets fighting, doing shit I’d never done with anyone else. But somehow, my anger felt... comfortable. Maybe because, with him, I wasn’t alone in it. I had company."

I looked down at my hands. "I guess I thought if I could handle my daddy, I could handle Cassius too. You understand what I mean?"

Dr. Reed leaned forward slightly, her hands resting on her lap. "Yes, Angel, sometimes we accept things as normal because it’s what we grew up around. We make excuses for behavior that crosses boundaries because it feels familiar. But that doesn’t mean it’s right, Angel. It doesn’t mean it’s what you deserve."

After the session, I was outside when I turned the corner and ran smack dab into Cassius.

"Hey," he said, stepping closer until we were sharing the same breath. He smelled good. I wanted to ask him what his new cologne was—it mixed with his body chemistry so well, it was heady as fuck—but I refrained. I wasn’t going to give him any ammo to add to his asinine thoughts—especially not since the whole "let you find your way back to me" talk. I still had it in my head that it was fuck Cassius, and anytime I thought otherwise, I made myself remember how I felt being pregnant, finding him celebrating the next bitch’s birthday after he hadn’t even checked in on me and his son. And besides, I was still with Solomon... for now.

"Naomi told me you were going to therapy. I know how this shit can be draining, so I’ve got a little surprise for you."

I blinked. It wasn’t often Cassius and I did things together anymore. I wanted my friend back. "A surprise?"

He grinned, the way that used to get me every time. "Yeah. Trust me, you’ll like it. You ready to go?"

"Where’s Ekon?"

He rolled his eyes. "Silas has him. You know if he ain’t with me or you, he’s with Silas." He was right. Silas said he didn’t want any kids of his own. He said he was just going to be Ekon’s second daddy and my second baby daddy.

"I’m not taking no for an answer," he said, grabbing my hand.

We headed out to his car.

We were pulling out of the parking lot when Brent Faiyaz’s voice spilled through the car speakers. Cassius started singing along to "Came Right Back," his voice deep, lazy, like he wasn’t trying too hard but knew damn well what he was doing. The lyrics floated between us. I shot him a side-eye. He knew I damn near melted when he started singing.

"You’re not slick," I said, laughing under my breath. I reached over and shut the radio off.

He smirked, his eyes still on the road but full of something familiar. "What? It’s just a song."

I shook my head, fighting the grin trying to come to my lips. "Yeah, okay. How about we ride in silence?"

He chuckled. "Okay, whatever you want, pretty girl."

We pulled up to Adventure Island about twenty minutes later, and I laughed. "Adventure Island, Cassius? What are we, kids?"

He smirked, parking the car. "We’re about to endure the lazy river together. I figured it’s the least stressful thing we could do, right? And I brought you something."

From the backseat, he pulled out a small bag and handed it to me. Inside was a tiny yellow one-piece bathing suit. I held it up, eyeing him with suspicion.

"You just wanted to see my ass in this," I teased, shaking my head.

He chuckled. "Maybe a little. But it’s cute, right?"

"You right." I gave him that.

We went through the lines easily—it was a Tuesday morning in October, not many people were there. I headed to the changing rooms, slipping into the suit. It fit me like a second skin, and when I stepped out, Cassius’s eyes lingered on me longer than they probably should have.

"You look good," he said, his voice low and heavy. I forced my eyes not to drop. I knew he was probably hard.

"Don’t start," I warned, though I couldn’t help but smile as I led him to the entrance to the ride.

We floated down the lazy river together, side by side, the water warm and soothing.

"Did you ever do stuff like this as a kid?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," he said, looking up at the sky. "Me and Silas used to come here all the time. We’d fuck around in the water, race down the slides. You?"

"I never really did the whole water park thing," I admitted. "I never had too many friends."

He nodded, then went quiet for a bit, the sound of the water sloshing around us. Out of nowhere, he said, "I was thinking about some stupid shit last night and the night before."

"What?" I asked cautiously. Anything could come out of Cassius's mouth.

"That we’ve got a whole son together, spent all this time together, and I never even asked you your favorite color. That shit bothers me, not knowing for some reason, Angel."

There was something in his voice that hit different. He wasn’t just talking about colors. He was talking about all the little things we never knew about each other because we were too busy fighting or fucking or just trying to survive whatever our relationship was.

"Yellow," I said, glancing at him. "But I never asked yours either, so it’s okay."

He smiled softly. "It’s blue now. But pink when I was little. My daddy wasn’t having that, but he didn’t know I liked it because girls wore that color."

We both laughed. That sounded just like Cassius, mannish.

We floated in silence after that, lost in our own thoughts, the sun beating down on us. For the first time in a long time, I felt... peaceful. We were just... there. Just us. No labels, no expectations. Just us, drifting.