Session 33

Chapter sixty nine

My eyes scanned over everything laid out across the counter. Eggs scrambled just right—fluffy, golden, with a sprinkle of cheese melting into them. Bacon, crisp but not too crisp, piled high on a platter. Grits, creamy and smooth, with butter melting and salt, not sugar because sugar on grits was nasty. The pancakes were stacked in neat towers.

I took a deep breath, trying to convince myself this was enough to make the day better. It had to be. I’d been up all night, pouring all my energy into this breakfast. Trying to block out my thoughts.

Last night was still lingering in my head, flashing in pieces every time I stopped moving. The kiss. The heat. The way my body felt. How doing something I knew I shouldn’t felt good. Too good. And now, the guilt was twisting and turning in my gut like it was trying to punish me.

Naomi was the first to reach the kitchen, snatching me from my thoughts, giving me a sleepy grin. “Damn, Angel. You’re trying to make us fat before the hike.”

Jonas came next, followed by Charmaine, who was rubbing her eyes. “Bacon is the best alarm clock ever.”

Silas strolled in, shirtless, with a cocky smile. He didn’t even try to look embarrassed as he winked at me. “Good morning, baby mama,” he teased.

I had to look away before my cheeks gave me away, my dimples were damn near caving in my face. How was I going to keep myself from falling apart?

Cassius came down last, his hair damp from a shower, dressed in a plain white T-shirt and basketball shorts. He shot me a quick glance. There was something in his eyes, but it was gone before I could read it. He knew I had lied last night when he asked me about the kiss. He could read me too well. The fact that he hadn’t called me on it was scary.

Everyone started piling food onto their plates, talking over each other about the upcoming hike and cracking jokes. When Freak Me by Silk started playing on the radio, everyone broke out singing: "Let me lick you up and down…" It was off-key and loud, but for a moment, it felt like everything was back to normal. Like I hadn’t kissed my son’s father’s best friend.

I cut my eyes at Silas, but he was staring at Charmaine’s cleavage, not a bit guilty, while I was dying inside. Cassius was watching me. I could feels it. I dropped my gaze to my plate.

Naomi getting up from the table drew my attention. She went to the fridge, grabbed a water, then paused. “Who in the fuck cut into the pie last night?” she asked, frowning.

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “Silas did it and gave me a piece! And we... we kissed in the bathroom, a lot, and there was touching.”

Everyone stopped moving. The room went silent, and I immediately regretted opening my mouth. My face burned hot with embarrassment as I stared down at my plate, wishing I could just disappear for thirty minutes.

Naomi burst out laughing. “We know. Silas had you trembling.”

Charmaine elbowed Cassius. “You said she wouldn’t make it past breakfast!”

Cassius just shook his head, a smirk curving his lips, but his eyes didn’t match it. They were dark, almost unreadable. “I know Angel,” he said. “She doesn’t deal with guilt well. She’s a good girl.”

Everybody kept laughing, making jokes. Silas just shrugged it off.

I forced myself to laugh along, but I was screaming inside my head. After breakfast, everyone went upstairs to change for the hike. I stayed behind, gathering the dishes and trying to calm the fuck down. Cassius stayed behind too, leaning against the counter, watching me.

“You alright?” he asked.

I looked up, trying to keep my voice steady. “Yeah, just... embarrassed. I’m sorry.”

He stepped closer, his eyes never leaving mine. “Why are you sorry? We’re not together anymore, Angel. You don’t owe me anything.”

I swallowed, trying to find the right words. “I know, but I... I’m sorry, Cassius.”

He cocked his head, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Stop apologizing,” he said, his voice dropping lower. “Unless you still care what I think.”

I felt a rush of heat, but I tried to keep my face neutral. “It’s not like that.”

Cassius’s eyes narrowed, and before I could react, he was in front of me, grabbing my waist and pushing me back against the wall. He trapped me with his weight, his face so close I could feel his breath on my skin.

“You still love me, Angel?” His eyes pinned me in place, and I hated how much I still loved the way he looked at me like this—like he knew he was in control.

“Cassius, don’t,” I whispered.

“Answer me,” he insisted, his hand sliding up my side, dragging his fingers down the curve of my waist. “You love me, don’t you?”

I closed my eyes, trying to find my voice, trying to pull myself together. But all I could do was shake my head, and even that felt like a betrayal of the truth sitting heavy in my chest.

“Angel.” My name was a warning before his other hand gripped my jaw, holding it tight, his fingers digging in just enough to keep my eyes on him. Then he was tasting my mouth. The kiss was raw, messy, all tongue and teeth, violence that tasted like desperation. Like hunger. kissed him back—harder.

His hand traveled down, gripping my thigh, and I gasped as he lifted it to wrap around his waist, pulling me tighter against him.

When he finally pulled back, we were both breathing hard, his forehead resting against mine. “Did he kiss you better than me?” he asked, his voice thick with all things possessive. “Does he make you feel better than I do?”

I couldn’t answer, couldn’t speak. I just shook my head.

“Exactly, and nobody will,” he said. His fingers still lingered on my skin, ghosting along my waist, like he was weighing the decision to leave, like he didn’t want to break contact but knew he had to. “And nobody ever will.”

My fingers curled into the hem of my shirt, twisting the fabric as though I could wring the tension out of my body. All this was too much for my poor little heart.