Sett and his King (Demon Gods #3)

13. Drew

Drew

I shot up, gasping for air, my limbs cold as if they were dead.

The living room came into focus.

What was going on? What was happening to me?

I looked down. Sett was lying there, blissfully unaware of the bad dream haunting me.

Was it a dream, or…was it real?

I wrapped my hand around Sett’s wrist and felt for his pulse but even before I found it I knew he was okay. He was nice and warm.

No it couldn’t have been real. If it had been, why were we both still alive? But did that mean I’d had a bad dream within a bad dream? Was that possible?

Maybe…

Maybe someone was toying with me.

I rubbed the back of my neck as if that would give me some kind of relief, or the answers I was looking for, and took a deep breath.

Or maybe it was some thing.

I glanced up at the ceiling and narrowed my eyes. “Are you doing this?” I asked.

Spiti didn’t answer. What good was a house with personality and opinions if it couldn’t talk to express said opinions.

"D-did you say something?" Set stirred and I jumped.

I rested my hand on my chest and turned to the god beside me.

Why was this happening over and over again?

"No, I…it's nothing."

I didn’t want to relive this day. I didn’t want to have to kill him again. And I didn’t want to have to die again.

I had to stop this.

I couldn’t kill Sett.

I couldn't go to Horus.

I couldn’t give him the scarab.

I couldn’t sign all our death sentences.

But what choice did I have? Whether I wanted to or not, I had to give him the poison, or we’d all die anyway.

Damned if I did, damned if I didn’t.

“Drew,” he said, his hand coming up to cup my face and caress my cheek and a knot twisted in my throat.

If my theory was correct, I’d already snuffed out his life twice. I’d been a monster. A monster that was only sated when he was touching me. Loving me. Adoring me.

But I couldn't sleep with him again. I couldn't keep distracting myself with sex forever in order to avoid the command thrumming in my head…

It wasn’t fair to him and it wasn’t fair to me having to do it over and over again.

“Are you worried about Horus? Because you shouldn’t. We’ll beat him. I did it before, I can do it now too.”

He was right.

Maybe that was the key.

Maybe…

There was something there. After all, Sett had also been under his brother’s thumb and he’d managed to not only escape him but defeat him.

“Tell me about him,” I said. “About your brother.”

He blinked as if he was confused.

"What do you mean? You know about him.”

“Yeah, I know what he's done to me. But I don't know your story with him. You haven’t told me how you freed yourself. How you killed him.”

It was there. I was sure of it now and got even more certain with each passing second.

The answer was in the past.

Maybe if I knew how Sett resisted his brother's commands, I could do the same.

Sett laid back, his hand sliding down to hold mine as his gaze drifted towards the coffee table, but it wasn’t the furniture he was looking at. It was his life before.

“He was always twisted,” he whispered. “Even as a child, he was…”

“A dick?” I asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” He nodded. “It didn't take him long to figure out his power. He started spilling all our thoughts and secrets. At first he seemed apologetic but it quickly…it turned into a game for him. He enjoyed probing our minds and reading our darkest, deepest thoughts.

“But then he discovered he couldn’t just read our minds. He could compel them. He could get whatever he wanted. That revelation changed him. By the time he reached adulthood, he wasn't innocent anymore, if he ever was. He’d done things, horrible things to everyone around us. Sowing hatred, resentment, jealousy. It consumed him. He was never satisfied.

“That was when he started taking from people. He became an abuser. Nothing was enough for him. He didn’t just play games with everyone’s lives, he took whoever he found even mildly attractive. He took them against their will and none of us could do anything to stop it. Not even when he came for one of his own.”

“You?” I asked.

He nodded.

“One day he started looking at me different. With a…an insatiable hunger in his eyes, but he was my brother. I didn’t expect him to do something about it. It was as if he woke up one morning and realized how grown and attractive his brother was. Or maybe it was just jealousy. Maybe he didn’t like that people were still worshipping me too. I don’t quite know. I don’t think he does either.

“All I know is one night he walked into my chambers and…touched me. He made me touch him too. He took advantage of me and then fled back to his quarters. The next night, he did the same, and then every night after that until he stopped going back to his room.

“Nights turned to days. He would find me, pull me into an empty room and have his…wicked way with me whenever he craved me. It happened for so long he stopped caring about keeping it secret. He would do whatever he wanted to me whenever he wanted in front of whoever happened to be there. I don’t know. It made him hungrier or something.

“It wasn’t just me however. Whoever came within reach became his slave. He made them bend the knee, and if they were men, he made them bend over. I used to think he was just a horny hungry man but I don’t think it’s his appetite anymore. I think he enjoys the control. He enjoys the power he wields.”

It sounded horrifying and yet…oddly familiar.

I guess when gods live forever they don’t change much, do they?

"How…how did you escape him?" I asked, my voice barely a croak.

"I couldn't,” he glanced at me but I didn’t think he really saw me. His eyes were too glazed to be focused on me. “For a very long time, I couldn't. He got more powerful the more he used us, until he got so drunk on power that he had everyone under his command. The entire kingdom. It wasn't enough. He wanted more. He wanted to have the entire world at his service.”

“That's fucked up."

"It was. But then Ra came into my life and he changed everything.”

His lips quirked into a smile and it made me smile too.

“He lived by his own rules, he wasn’t subjugated. He did as he pleased but not in a malicious way. His mind couldn’t be tamed. He challenged Horus’s rule and that drove Horus insane.”

“Wasn’t he insane already?”

Sett nodded with a huff.

“I guess. For a while he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to beat Ra. And Ra was gaining on him. Freeing everyone from Horus’s control. It wasn’t permanent, but it was enough to make Horus mad.

“Eventually he got to Horus’s inner circle. That’s when I met him. He freed me and gave me my life back. He was kind, and honest. He was a light. My light. And when he touched me he asked permission. He didn’t take with wild abandon. He gave too. With all his heart.”

“He sounds a lot like you,” I said.

I couldn’t help but remember all the ways Sett had helped me. How quick he’d been to protect me. How eager to defeat his brother. How he’d kissed me to breathe life into me. How sweet he was with Yaya.

Sett smiled and his golden eyes shone right at me. As if he could see me again.

"I learned a lot from him,” he said. “I loved him deeply and truly. And he loved me back twice as much."

“That's beautiful.” I ignored the pinch in my chest that made me want to be loved the same way. That wanted to be wanted the same way not just by anyone, but by Sett himself. I didn’t think such a thing was possible. I didn’t think Sett could love like that again and even if he could…

Why would he love me of all people?

The man who had tricked him?

“He was. And I miss him every day.” Sett’s hands tightened around mine and I stared at them. I didn’t know what I’d do if I continued to look him in the eyes.

“What happened?" I asked.

“Horus found us. They came head to head. Ra managed to get the upper hand and took me away. He rescued me and kept me safe. He nurtured me and I cared for him in return. Our love grew day by day. We were happy. We even had a child.”

“A child?” I asked. “H-how? You’re both men. Unless Ra was a trans man?”

Sett’s gaze narrowed for a second before he shook his head.

“No. He wasn’t trans. There are more ways to have a child than the traditional way. Especially for a god or two."

There was?

How did that work?

“Anubis was the best kid, and he had a happy life. But Horus’s power grew stronger, threatening to take over the world. We knew we had to stop him, or he'd come for us and our son. And this time, it wouldn't matter if we could resist his compulsion or not. He would turn everyone against us and Ra wouldn’t be able to stop him. So, instead, we made a plan. Ra made the scarab that could contain Horus’s power and we went after him.”

This was it. The secret to my freedom.

“He couldn’t do it. Horus was too strong, too powerful, and Ra? He paid the price with both body and soul."

My heart sank.

"I'm so so sorry.” I squeezed his hand back and caught his tear with my other hand before it fell on his lap.

“Before he perished, Ra gifted me his power. The gift of sand magic. It was how Ra was able to resist Horus. Sand offers clarity as much as it obscures. So I tricked my brother, pretending to be subjugated by him once again until I got close enough to trap his power inside the scarab. Then I killed him body and soul, just like he'd killed Ra.”

Sand magic.

Was that answer?

And did that mean Sett had to die to get it? Because I didn’t like the sound of that. I didn’t like it at all.

“I thought it worked. For five thousand years I thought he was dead. Obviously I was wrong. He must have evaded death…somehow.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d made a deal with the devil.”

Sett chuckled but not from amusement, but despair.

“If the devil was real, maybe I’d agree. I don’t know how he escaped death, but I do know he can’t get his hands on that scarab. It holds all of his power and if he gets it back, he’ll be unstoppable.”

He was already unstoppable. I couldn’t imagine how much more ruthless and stronger he could get.

"We can’t let him get it,” I said and Sett nodded. “I…I think I need your help." My throat tightened before I even managed to finish my sentence.

“What do you need?" he asked.

I tried to speak the words that had been haunting me since I met him but…they were unspeakable.

“Drew?” He leaned closer. “What is it?”

I couldn’t tell him. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell him what I was supposed to do. But…

Maybe I could tell him what I’d already done.

"I betrayed you," I said and trapped my mouth shut as if it had been an accident when in truth I was shocked it had worked.

Sett stared at me without blinking.

The hairs on the back of my neck rose and a chill ran down my spine.

He was going to hate me.

He was going to hate me so much.

"I betrayed you twice. I…I killed you twice,” I said, tears running down my face before I could stop them. “He told me to summon you and make you get the scarab and then I was instructed to kill you. I did. I did and took the scarab to Horus. He killed me too. And every time it happens I wake up back here, with you. I don’t know what’s going on but I killed you and I hate myself for it and I don’t know how to stop it from happening again.”

“I know,” he whispered.

“I know you don’t remember it, and the day keeps resetting itself but I killed you. I’m a monster.”

Sett grabbed me by the chin and forced me to look him in the eyes but it was impossible with all the tears blurring my vision.

“Did you hear me, Drew? I know?” he said. “I remember.”

"What?"

“I remember everything, Drew. I know you killed me.”

He raised his hand and I closed my eyes fully expecting him to punch me senseless, or stab me, or something.

But instead, I found myself enveloped in his arms. He held me close. So close it almost hurt. As if he loved me. As if I hadn’t just admitted to killing him twice.