Seven of Hearts

13. Leah

13

LEAH

M ondays were chaos. I loved tackling the beginning of the week and making sense of all the things that needed to get done. It was a mountain I always anticipated climbing. Or at least I used to.

That was before there was a baby the size of an apple inside of me, sapping every ounce of my energy straight out of my body.

I needed more caffeine than ever, and I couldn’t have it.

At least I had stolen a catnap while Gio and Ellie were at school. That would have to get me through until I got off work.

The front door opened, and peals of “Mom! Dad!” echoed through the DeRossi house as Isaac and Hannah Jane Lawson came over to pick up Ellie, and Luca and Maddie DeRossi came home.

Right on time. Thank heavens.

Hopefully, this conversation would be as quick and painless as possible.

“Leah? Are you upstairs?” Maddie shouted.

“Coming down!” I hollered back.

I loved working for the DeRossis and Lawsons. They were like family to me. I wished they were my family, unlike the judgmental robots I was kin to.

My phone had been quiet ever since the explosion with my mom. Part of me wanted an apology, or at least an explanation. The other part of me was fine with the silence.

I hadn’t heard from Logan since Sunday when he texted me to check in and see how I was feeling. He had spent the day with his youngest brother, Hunter, presumably before he went back to Chicago.

But I put Logan out of my mind as I jogged down the stairs and faced my bosses. Hannah Jane Lawson was the picture-perfect vision of ladylike elegance. Her hair was neatly styled. She was always dressed to the nines in some kind of pencil skirt and blouse combo, designer heels with the red bottoms, and tasteful yet nauseatingly expensive jewelry.

Maddie DeRossi was nearly the exact opposite. Her long hair was up in a wild bun on top of her head. She was in denim cutoffs, a country concert tank top, and flip-flops.

“Hey, girl,” Maddie said with a smile. “You said that you wanted to meet before you went home."

“Yeah.” I tucked my hair behind my ears.

“Kids or no kids?” Hannah Jane asked as she strutted through the kitchen and helped herself to a bottle of water from Maddie’s fridge.

I was fairly sure Gio and Ellie were already suspicious about why I had avoided making cinnamon rolls for breakfast the last few weeks since cinnamon made me nauseous, or why I was always yawning. Besides, they were going to find out sooner or later. My bump wasn’t hiding forever, even under sweatshirts, sweaters, and jackets.

“Kids are fine,” I said with a little nervousness in my voice.

Maddie lifted her eyebrows. “You’re not quitting, are you? Because I’ll give you a raise. Name your price.”

I laughed. “I’m not quitting. But...I will need some time off in a few months.”

Hannah Jane cocked her head curiously as their husbands and kids strolled into the kitchen.

“I’m expecting,” I said with as much calm as I could. “And I’m due in March.”

So many jaws hit the floor that it sounded like applause.

“Oh my god!” Maddie screamed before pulling me into a backbreaking hug. “Shut up! That’s amazing!”

I laughed as tears pricked my eyes.

Hannah Jane ripped Maddie away and gave me a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you! How have you been feeling?”

“A little better now that I’m out of the first trimester. I’m just really tired now.”

“You’re having a baby?” Gio asked with awe and dinner plate eyes.

I nodded.

“Is that why you were sick a lot?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry about that. I know I haven’t been much fun lately.”

“Can we play with the baby when it’s born?” Gio asked.

“You can’t play with a newborn baby,” Ellie said.

“Not when it’s like first born. They have to bathe it. They come out of the vaginal canal all gooey and purple,” Gio said.

Maddie dropped her head in her hands. “That’s what I get for having open and honest conversations about the human body with my kid.”

I laughed. “I’ll probably be at home for a few weeks after the baby’s born.” I looked at Hannah Jane and Maddie. “But after that, I’d like to come back to work as long as I can bring the baby.”

“Of course,” Maddie said as she dabbed her eyes. “I still have the pop-up crib and monitors we used with Gio. You won’t even have to bring your own stuff over.”

“And take all the time off that you need, even before the baby is born,” Hannah Jane said as she squeezed my arm. “Those last few weeks are a b-i-t-c-h.”

“I won the spelling bee, Mom. Just say the word. I’ve heard it before,” Ellie said.

I snickered under my breath as Isaac and Luca came in for their own hugs and congratulations.

“Can we help you pick a name?” Ellie asked.

I dabbed my tears away. “I’d love all your ideas. I haven’t even had time to think about it.”

“Dude, I can come up with the coolest name ever,” Gio said.

“Miss Leah is not a dude,” Luca said.

“Speaking of ‘miss,’” Maddie prodded. “I’m assuming this baby is not Joanne’s? I didn’t know you were seeing someone. Not that you need a someone. I’m just nosey. You’re gonna do great. You keep our hellions alive and barely break a sweat.”

“The dad and I are...in contact,” I said, dancing around the truth. “I’m not sure where things are going to go.”

Hannah Jane nodded as the door opened and closed. “Well. You let us know what we can do for you, and when you feel up to a baby shower.”

“Did someone say baby shower?” Kylie asked as she let herself in.

“Do you ever knock, or do you always enter people’s houses without announcing yourself?” I asked.

Kylie laughed. “Perks of being the former next-door neighbor. I was at Kristin’s visiting Logan. I saw Hannah Jane’s car and figured I could bring the swatch books back.” She dropped the thick binders into Hannah Jane’s waiting arms. “Thanks for letting me steal them.”

“Anytime,” Hannah Jane said. “I’m starting a baby shower planning group text.”

“Oh my god, I’m so glad other people know,” Kylie said all in one breath. “Keeping it a secret was excruciating!”

You didn’t exactly do a great job of keeping it a secret, Ky. But I kept that thought inside.

“All right, Ells-Bells,” Hannah Jane said as she wrangled Ellie. “Grab your stuff and hop in the car.”

Ellie gave me a hug. “See you tomorrow, Miss Leah.”

“Bye, girlie. Have a good night.” I turned to Maddie. “I’m gonna grab my things so y’all can get on with your evening. Thanks for being so gracious about everything.”

“You’re family to us,” Maddie said. “Anything you need, just say the word.”

Kylie waited while I gathered my things, and we headed out the door together. I couldn’t help but look over at the Solomons’ house next door. Logan’s rental car was parked in the driveway now.

“He didn’t go back to Chicago?” I muttered under my breath.

“Who? Logan?” Kylie asked.

Shit. That should have been an inside thought.

She paused in front of my car. “How’d you know he was back in town?”

I stammered as a door opened and closed in the distance.

Please, please, please don’t let it be him. Not right now.

I shoved my bags in the backseat of my car. “I—um—” My phone slipped out of the outside pouch of my tote and hit the ground as the screen lit up.

Kylie was faster than I was. She picked it up and glanced at the screen. “And why is he texting you?”

I snatched it out of her hand, but I knew she was too smart to believe any white lie I could come up with on the spot.

“Oh my God," she whispered as she looked over my shoulder toward her sister’s house.

I knew that, if I turned around, I would see Logan standing on the front porch.

“Kylie—”

“ Oh my god. ” She pressed her fingers to her temples. “The hookup after the wedding...You—you slept with my brother?!” She stumbled backward and grabbed the top of my car for support. “That’s why you wouldn’t tell me who it was at the brunch...Or when the test was positive...”

The satisfied craving for a happy reaction from the DeRossis and Lawsons was shattered.

Kylie didn’t look the least bit excited. She looked absolutely gutted.

“You’re not denying it,” she said.

I took a deep breath. “It was supposed to be a one-time thing...”

She dug both hands into her hair. “I can’t believe you.”

A shadow loomed over my shoulder. I didn’t even have to look to know who it was. A warm hand slid up and down my spine.

“Ky, give her a break,” Logan said with a bite of authority in his voice.

Kylie shook her head. "Well, this explains everything.”

“I was going to tell you,” I pleaded.

She let out a wry laugh, trying to hide the fact that her eyes were glassy. “Really? When? Because it wasn’t the morning after, when I asked who you hooked up with. It wasn’t when I was there with you when you took the pregnancy test. It wasn’t all the times I came over to your apartment to help you when you were sick. It wasn’t all the times that you told me you were lonely, and I promised to be there for you no matter what.”

Logan tensed behind me.

“We’ve told each other everything since we were kids,” Kylie whispered, her lip trembling. “I thought we were closer than that.”

“Kylie,” Logan barked.

“I guess I was wrong,” she choked out as she turned and slid into her car. “I’ve gotta get home. Bryan made dinner.”

I clapped my hand over my mouth to keep from sobbing in the DeRossis’ driveway. The crunch of Kylie’s tires as she burned rubber backing out was the punctuation to the end of a twenty-year friendship.

“She was out of line,” Logan said as he pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry. I should have kept my distance.”

“It was inevitable,” I whispered as I tried to sniff back my tears to keep from soaking his shirt.

“Just because it was inevitable doesn’t mean you deserved it.” He dropped a gentle kiss on the top of my head and held me a little closer.

I never wanted to leave Maddie and Luca’s driveway. Every time Logan held me like this, it gave me hope that maybe I could be his, just as much as our baby was.

It was a sick tease. Because no matter what, I was his biggest mistake.

“What do you need?” he murmured into my hair. “Come over to Kristin’s. She’s making dinner. Or I can take you back to your place. Or we can go to the beach if you want. Get some air.”

His oldest sister was great, but I didn’t want to be near anyone else right now.

“I just wanna go home and go to bed.”

Logan peeled away and looked down, his dark eyes assessing me as he frowned. “You need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” I muttered as I rummaged around for my keys.

Logan didn’t argue. “Are you okay to drive?”

“I’m fine,” I said, though I didn’t believe it. I was a mess inside.

“I’m gonna go back over to the house and grab my keys, and follow you to your place.”

Before I could argue, he turned his back and walked across the grass.

The short drive back to my apartment was a blur. It was the kind of twilight zone when you realized that you couldn’t remember the last two miles. Had I run red lights? Did I hit someone? I had no idea.

Logan’s headlights snapped me out of the haze as I parked in front of my building. Before I knew it, he was opening my door, shouldering my bag, and taking my hand. We walked in silence, as every unsaid thing danced between us.

I unlocked the door and slipped inside without a word. All I wanted was to get out of my clothes and put something soft on. My jeans didn’t fit anymore, which left me wearing leggings most days. I was tired of clothes being tight on my skin. I closed my bedroom door and rummaged around for my pajamas.

By the time I changed into a baggy pair of flannel shorts and a loose t-shirt, Logan was knocking on the door.

Why hadn’t he left yet? I made it home just fine.

“Come in.”

The door creaked as Logan slipped in, holding a bowl. “Are you an ‘eat in bed’ or a ‘food nowhere but the table’ type?”

“I’m convinced that only serial killers are opposed to eating in bed.”

Logan cocked his head, silently ordering me to get under the covers.

“I’m really not hungry,” I argued, though I did climb into bed willingly. I just wanted to sleep. I was worn out, but I wasn’t tired. I just didn’t want to be awake anymore.

“You need to eat something,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed and slid a bowl of buttered pasta into my hands. “And considering my culinary prowess is limited to turkey sandwiches, and you’re not supposed to have those, pasta it is. Besides, everyone likes buttered noodles.”

I stared at the pasta he had pilfered from my cabinets and cooked just for me. “How do you know I’m not supposed to have deli meat?”

His eyes were kind as he looked down at me and plucked a fork from behind his ear. “I haven’t been sleeping well. I started reading all these medical journals about pregnancy instead of staring at the ceiling.”

“Why are you still here?” I asked, ignoring the pang in my heart as I took the fork from him and managed a small bite. “Shouldn’t you be back at work?”

Logan toed off his shoes and swung his long legs onto the bed, easing against the headboard to sit beside me. He was quiet for a while. I ate while he thought about his answer.

“I need to be here right now,” he said finally. “I can work remotely for the time being.”

“I’m fine, Logan. I can handle it. You know, my parents know, my bosses know, Kylie knows, Will knows?—”

“Kristin knows,” he interjected. “She wanted me to pass on her congratulations and told me to tell you to call her if you need anything.”

My appetite vanished completely. I set the mostly empty bowl on the bedside table and wiggled down under the covers, turning onto my side to face away from him. “Like I said. Everyone knows. Everyone’s had their reactions. Life can move on now. I’ll be okay.”

But rather than agreeing with me, Logan stole the other pillow, wedged it under his head, and lay on his side behind me. He wrapped a strong arm around my waist and slipped his hand under my shirt.

I tensed, unfamiliar with such a brash, tender moment. Sure, we’d had sex. We had been together in one of the most vulnerable ways two people could be. But this was intimate on a whole other level.

Logan gently smoothed his hand across my belly, back and forth, over and over again. Tears pricked at my eyes, but they didn’t fall. Instead, the rush of emotion urged me deeper into his arms. I wiggled backward as Logan pulled me closer and tightened his hold on me, keeping me close, safe, and secure.

“What I should have said was that I want to be here right now.”

And I wanted that too.