Shadow and Skulls (Rebel Skull MC Series Book 6)

15. Chapter Fifteen

As soon as the test is over, I pull out my phone. I wince at the number of calls and text messages I’ve been ignoring since yesterday.

Tank: We made it up north. Call me as soon as you’re done with the test.

I hold the phone to my ear as I rush across the street to my car.

“Hey, baby. How did it go?” he asks.

“Fine. Is everything okay?”

His booming laugh relaxes me. “You’ve lost faith already.”

My engine hums to life. “No.”

“Liar.”

“I just need to know what I’m going home to.” I’m impatient for him to tell me what’s been going on.

“Your old man didn’t go on the run.”

I groan, turning out onto the road. “Great.”

“When I got to the warehouse this morning, he had Ash pinned against the wall. I’m not going to lie, he was scary. He was asking him where you were. His spit was flying all over Ash’s face.” He laughs lightly.

My foot presses on the brake. I glance in my mirror and decide to pull off on the side of the road, coming to a stop. “No.”

“Obviously Ash didn’t know where you were. But your dad wasn’t buying it, because both you and Ash were missing last night.”

My head falls against the steering wheel. “Oh, god. No.”

“No worries. Dirk broke it up. But anyway, our mission is complete. We’re all headed home now.”

“Is Ash okay?”

Tank gives me a jealous grunt before answering. “He’s fine. He’s on the road with us.”

The roar of a bike rumbles behind me. My gaze goes to the rearview mirror. “Oh fuck,” I whisper. “He found me. I’ve got to go.”

I disconnect the call, slipping my phone into my pocket. Slowly, my dad walks up behind my car. Just like a cop.

My hand trembles as I roll down the window. “Sorry officer, I seem to have misplaced my license and registration,” I joke, not looking at him.

He rests his forearm over the top of the car, his head crowding my window. “Is there something wrong? Why are you on the side of the road?”

I let out a long breath. “No, sir. There’s nothing wrong with the car.”

My dad stands tall. “Then get your ass home.”

“Yes, sir.”

My eyes follow him in the mirror as he walks back and throws his leg over the seat of his bike. This is my first experience being in trouble with my father. I haven’t seen him this upset since Cole and Carson came home drunk. He wasn’t so upset that they had been drinking as he was that Cole had driven them home. They were grounded for a long time after that.

Mom stands from the porch swing when we pull in. I’m frozen in my seat. Everything is happening so fast. I hadn’t really thought about this part … about facing them.

My dad rolls his hand for me to follow him as he walks past my window. They’re hugging by the time I reach the porch.

“Go inside,” he says, waving for me to step around them.

Inside, I lower myself onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table. An ache spreads across my chest as I listen to my mother cry on the porch. I scared her. That wasn’t very kind of me.

When Cole and Carson join me at the table, I’m confused as to why they’re here. But then I realize they must have been called home last night to look for me. I guess I didn’t realize how my actions would affect so many people.

I can’t. I drop my forehead to my arms on the table.

Cole places his hand over the back of my head. “Come on, little sis. You know dad’s not going to let you hide.”

“Maybe if I close my eyes and wish to this stupid thing around my neck the floor will swallow me whole, and I’ll be spit out somewhere else.”

My dad coughs right before my mom’s tiny footsteps rush up the stairs.

“Boys, go take care of your mother.”

Their chairs scoot across the floor, their heavy boots following our mother’s path.

“I didn’t mean that,” I grumble to the table.

“Sit up,” my dad orders, sitting beside me.

When I do, he reaches down and yanks the leg of my chair, pulling us directly in front of each other. “I want to know where you were and who you were with last night.”

“I’m not ready to tell you,” I whisper while staring at his chest.

“Were you with Ash?”

My eyes snap to him. “No.”

His brows are drawn together. “No?”

“No, Dad.”

“When do you think you’ll be ready to tell me what I want to know?”

This is hopeless …

“You’re grounded until I get a full explanation of what that was about yesterday. That wasn’t the Kelsie I know.” He rests his meaty, tattooed arms across his wide chest.

“I’m sorry.”

“For?” He doesn’t hide the hope I’ve just given him with my apology.

“I’m sorry I’ve never shown you that part of myself.”

“Kelsie.”

I hold up my hand. “No, Dad. I’m sorry that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. The woman you talked to was me, just a part you’ve never seen.”

He’s quiet as he thinks about what I’ve said. This is what I love about him. He listens.

I may as well rip the Band-Aid off while I’m here. “I quit school yesterday. This morning, I took the GED test. I’ll know by tomorrow afternoon if I passed, but I’m certain I did.”

His eyes widen in surprise, and he sits up straight in his chair, glancing toward the stairs. “Kelsie, what the hell is going on?”

I feel so bad about the worry I see on his face, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I take a deep breath before speaking. “I know you’re scared right now.”

He stands, shaking his head back and forth. “I’ve failed you.”

“Dad, you haven’t failed me. You’ve given me a safe place to heal and rest.”

He’s circling the kitchen with his hands in his hair.

I stand up and stomp my foot. “I don’t know how to explain this to you!” I shout. “It’s not about you, or school, or the man I was with. It’s about me … me, Dad!” I jab my finger into my chest.

The twins and my mom rush down the stairs at my outburst.

“Hey, it’s okay, baby,” she coos, grabbing me by my arms.

“It is okay, but everyone is acting like it’s not. None of you really know me. None of you!” I scream, breaking away from her and running up the stairs.

I run up to the attic, climbing into the little reading nook my dad built for me when I first came here. I’d like to say I feel bad about exploding like that, but I’m not. I’m relieved. A chuckle erupts from deep in my soul. This feels good. To get things off my chest, to know I don’t have to go back to that awful school, and best of all … I found out I’m not broken.

I pull my phone out of my pocket.

Me: I told them I quit school.

Tank: You still have your phone, so I’m assuming it went well.

Me: Very funny, but yeah, I guess it went as expected. I’ve got to go, someone’s coming. Will you meet me at the church at midnight? I have something to tell you.

Tank: I’ll be there.

My dad reaches back to help my mom up the ladder as I slip my phone into my pocket. I watch them, a warmth settling in my chest. They’re a team.

That’s what I want.

“I haven’t seen that smile in a while,” my mom says as she crosses her legs, sitting across from me in the window. My dad sits on the floor beside us.

The slow, steady thump of a basketball wafts through the window. I look down to find my brothers shooting hoops in the driveway.

“Yeah, well you guys are just too cute. It makes me happy.”

Her hand rubs over her chest as she exchanges a look with my father. I turn to face her.

“I’m sorry for what I said about the necklace. I didn’t mean it. I don’t think it’s stupid at all. I’m honored I get to wear it.”

She lets out a little sigh, shoving my father away when he tries to pull her to his lap. “I’m fine, you big brute.”

I glance out the window. “When I was a little girl, they had this festival every year. I don’t remember what it was called, but I know it happened in the fall because I remember vividly the sound of the leaves crunching under my feet.”

My parents go still. They aren’t used to me talking about my childhood. And that’s my fault. I’ve never shown them anything of the me I was before meeting them. I thought I could just begin anew right there and shove the rest into a dark corner.

But then Jason broke the illusion. Made me realize I hadn’t been living authentically. I was going through the motions, pretending I was someone I wasn’t.

“Anyway, every year the people in town would make lanterns, and then we would hang them along a path that ran down by the river. You could make your lantern out of whatever you wanted. Some were glass, some wooden, some steel.”

I close my eyes, picturing it in my mind. My mom laughing as we dance down the path, stopping to admire everyone’s creativity. The smell of dying leaves and earth. The wind. Home.

Tank reminds me of home.

“Did your family make one?” Lily asks, interrupting my thoughts.

I open my eyes slowly, looking at her. “Every year.”

She smiles at this. “It sounds wonderful.”

“It was. I always loved it because it was the one time out of the year my mother wasn’t depressed.”

Her smile falls at that.

So, I do my best to right it again. “We always went back a few days after the festival had ended. We would collect all the lanterns that were left behind. I could never understand how the people who made them could leave them there, but I was glad for it. There wasn’t a lantern I didn’t love. We had them hanging all around our backyard. It was magical. It’s the happiest memory from my childhood.”

“Awe, baby, thank you for sharing that with us.”

I hug my legs. “I’m sorry if I have been holding back. I just … I guess I was trying to figure out how to navigate life.”

A little laugh escapes me. “The last lantern my mom and I made was out of a tin can. You know, like a family sized soup can or something. My mom spent hours punching little holes in it to make the design.”

I start to cry, remembering it was also the last time I ever saw my mom smile.

My parents both hug me. I bury my face in my mom’s chest as my dad’s arms tightly wrap around us both.

“I have something to tell you. Something I’ve never told anyone,” I cry, knowing that it’s time to put my past to rest so I can move forward.

I want to be free.