Shadow and Skulls (Rebel Skull MC Series Book 6)

33. Chapter Thirty-Three

My mom’s words are still playing through my mind when I wake up the next morning. I didn’t sleep worth shit.

She’s holding the curtain back, a cup of coffee in her hand. JD is sitting next to her stretched out in a hotel chair.

I rub my hand over my face. “Are you guys waiting for me? You should have woken me up.”

The dark circles under her eyes tell me she slept about as well as I did.

“You needed your sleep, baby.” She drops the curtain and moves to sit with JD. “We aren’t in a hurry. Take your time.”

I drag myself from the bed. I’m going to see my mother today. Yesterday pricked at my memories and reminded me there was a time when I loved her. She was my entire world. I never knew my father. He left when I was a baby. She said he couldn’t handle her winter blues. We both knew it was more than a lack of sunlight that caused her depression. I don’t blame him, but he left me there. Not that I would want to change it now.

My fingers dance over the mirror as I stare at my reflection. I smile. Everything happened the way it needed to. I have everything I ever wanted. Dan and Lily, the twins, friends … Tank.

The rest of the morning, my confidence stays firmly in place until JD holds the door open to the nursing facility for my mother and me. Mom waits patiently by my side. I fight the urge to swivel my head, looking for him. I don’t want to upset my mom like I did yesterday. I know she doesn’t trust Tank the way I do.

“You don’t have to forgive her,” I hear Tank whisper in my mind.

It’s for me. This is for me.

When I finally get the courage to go inside, the staff instantly greets us. Everyone seems friendly. It’s not stuffy like I thought it would be. It’s actually pretty nice. That makes me feel better.

The director leads us to my mother’s room. Before she opens the door, she reminds me that my mom is nonresponsive. I nod. As soon as it’s open, I take a step back. The little girl inside me takes over. I rush to her bed, kicking my shoes off and climbing up beside her. I wrap both my hands around her pale one, curling my legs under me.

It’s so easy.

My mom and JD settle in a couple of chairs by the window as I stare at my mother. Her hair is more grey than blonde now. Her skin is thin and pasty. But she’s still my mom. I look back at Lily, and she smiles at me. I turn back to my biological mother. It feels the same, or close to it, and I think that’s okay. Maybe better than okay. I can love both of them simultaneously.

And that’s when I open up and tell her everything. I spill every moment … every secret.

Hours pass and no one stops me. It’s like I can’t bare for her to not know every minute she’s missed since we parted ways. I leave nothing out. Evil men stole those moments from her, and I want to be the one to give them back.

“But I just wanted you to know what happened, so you wouldn’t have to worry anymore. I’m okay. I’m more than okay. I’m happy.” I draw my finger over the veins in her hand. “I love you.”

Her mouth falls open, and her eyes flutter. I jump off the bed, thinking she’s awake and I’m going to get to talk to her, but I realize very quickly that’s not what is happening.

What is happening?

My mom wraps herself around me, gently encouraging me to sit back down beside my mother. She sits behind me, leaning over to take my mother’s hand.

“I’ll go get a nurse,” JD says quietly as I drop my head to my mother’s chest and begin to weep.

I whisper goodbye over and over to make sure she hears me before her soul completely leaves her body. And then the frightening noises that have been coming from the back of her throat simply stop. Everything stops.

My mom hugs me, gently rubbing my back, and I thank God she is here, because that was a little scary. It was so fast. Minutes … seconds … just so fast.

After that, I zone out. I soon realize that death is only still and quiet for the person who dies.

Death has become a business. Things need to be decided immediately after. So many questions are being asked, but my mom takes over. She’s on the phone making decisions that probably should be mine. I feel bad for her; it’s been a rough week. My phone rings, and I look down at it. It’s Dad.

JD looks over my shoulder to see who it is. He grabs my arm, taking the phone from me. He answers it as he hauls me outside.

“We’re doing okay. Yeah, she’s right here. Just a second.” Gently, he pushes me into a chair and holds the phone to my ear until I take it.

“Hey, Dad,” I answer, the guilt finally forcing me to speak. “I’m sorry I haven’t called you since Grandma passed.”

“Baby. I know it’s hard. It’s hard,” he says, his voice cracking.

I focus on one of the windows of the home. There is a woman sitting on the other side. The reflection of flowers against the glass blurs her face.

“Kelsie, I want you to listen to me. We’re going to get through this together. You’re not alone.”

“What a way to bond, huh?”

He chuckles sadly. “Yeah, what a week.”

Suddenly, the woman in the window leans forward, pressing her palm to the glass. Her sleeve falls back, and I see the scar on her wrist.

“Do you feel like you got some closure?” he asks.

I jump up when the woman leans back into her wheelchair. “Uh, yeah.”

I walk toward the window, my gaze following the woman’s. That’s when I see what she has been looking at. It’s a bright orange plastic dragonfly. Its wings are spinning in the wind as it rests in the beautiful flower garden outside her window.

“That’s good. We’ll talk more when you get home,” Dad says, reminding me I’m on the phone.

My eyes rise to the woman sitting in the window. She’s beautiful and way too young to be here.

“Dad, I’ve got to go. I need to get back to mom.”

JD is behind me. “What’s wrong?” he whispers.

“Okay, baby, I love you.”

I hang up the phone after saying goodbye.

My gaze bounces over JD as my mind races. “Nothing is wrong. In fact, I think everything is right. I … I have something I need to do.”

He follows me back inside, pausing when I pass my mother’s hallway. He shakes his head in confusion when I head in the opposite direction. I glance in each room until I find her. My gaze roams over the name on the door. Lizzie.

I don’t know what I’m doing, but I step inside her room. JD reaches for me just as my mother joins us.

“What are you doing?” they ask in unison, but I don’t hesitate.

My feet carry me farther into her room. I sit down on the windowsill, smiling at the dragonfly.

“Do you like dragonflies?” I ask, my eyes going to hers. She doesn’t look my way, her gaze fixed out the window. “Or is it the flowers you like?”

Still no response.

I stare at her for a long moment. Tank told me she was unresponsive, but I’ve just looked at someone for the past several hours who was unresponsive. My mother was gone. Lizzie is very much here. She’s hiding in the shadows.

Perhaps that’s why I see her when no one else can … maybe when you’ve sat in the dark as long as we have, your eyes become accustomed to seeing through the haze.

My fingers dance over the trinket around my neck as my gaze bounces over her room. It’s bare. My mother’s room was full of photos. Mostly of me.

“My name is Kelsie,” I tell Lizzie. “I’m …” I glance up at my mom. “I’m friends with Tank.”

The woman sits stoically silent.

“Has he always been crazy?”

I think I see her lip twitch, but I could be imagining things.

“I’m guessing he has been because you don’t get that looney overnight.”

When she stays still, I turn toward the window, staring at her through the reflection. “I’m also a victim of Dr. Williams. He convinced my mother, who was a patient of his, to give me to my uncle … he was a trafficker. I was trafficked.”

The little dragonfly spins in a circle when the wind picks up. “Dr. Williams was a master manipulator, but I’m sure you’ve been told that before. I’m not sure if you believe it, though.”

Still nothing.

“My mother lived just down the hall. She just died.” Tears begin to run down my cheeks. “I thought I was supposed to come here to say goodbye to her, but the universe didn’t bring me here for her. She’s been gone a long time. I think it brought me here for you.”

She blinks.

I stand up and move to stand behind her, still looking at her through the reflection. “You don’t belong here. Look at you. You’re gorgeous,” I say as I remove my dragonfly necklace. “You’re alive. You don’t have to sit here and watch a fake dragonfly spin outside your window. You can go out there and sit amongst the real ones.”

When the necklace falls over her chest, another piece of my soul heals. This is me fully stepping out and extending my light to someone who really needs it.

“This is a special necklace that has been passed on to the women of my family when they need it most. I didn’t know why it was given to me until now. Some say it grants wishes … some say it will bring you an angel. Let it be something to you.”

I clasp it and then step around to kneel in front of her. She still doesn’t look at me, but I know she sees me. I offer her a kind smile and then stand.

My mom hugs me when I join them at the door. “You are the angel.” She kisses me on my forehead. “Let’s go home.”

We wrap our arms through one another’s as we head down the hall.

“I hope it’s okay that I gave it to her,” I say, feeling bad about giving her necklace away.

She stops by the front door, turning me to face her. “The dragonfly will always lead the way,” she tells me, cupping my cheeks in her palm. Her gaze bounces over my face. “You are the best daughter.”

When we step outside, Tank is standing across the street in broad daylight. My mom slows her steps, pulling me to a stop with her. She stares at Tank for a long moment.

“Looks like we lost JD.” Her gaze goes from Tank to me. “I’m going to go look for him.”

I bite my lip, blinking back tears.

She pats my arm, giving Tank a warning glance before she heads back inside. I run across the street, jumping into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, little shadow,” he whispers as I bury my face into his neck.