Shadow Blind (Shadow Warriors #1)

1. Chapter 1

Day 1 Vahdat, Tajikistan

“Fuck.” Aiden Winchester glared at the secure laptop’s screen with its spinning wheel of doom.

The SAT link was always iffy this far into shitkicker territory, particularly with the cloud cover. Sometimes the radio heads got the link reestablished, sometimes they didn’t. But dammit, did it have to go down during his scheduled FaceTime? Sure, he could reach for his secure squad SAT phone, but then he wouldn’t be able to see Demi.

Sometimes snarky, sometimes sweet, always sexy as hell, Demi’s pixie face broadcast her every thought and emotion. Listening to her voice wasn’t enough. He needed to see her too.

“Yo, Squirrel.” His shout turned his team brother’s scalped head his way. Squirrel was the only one of his squad mates who still went in for those buzz cuts of old. “Get hold of the brainiacs and find out what’s going on with the SAT link.”

“Bro, you’re so apron whipped. Can’t even last a day without kissy-facing your gal?” Squirrel asked with his patented squinty eyed smirk. But he turned and headed for the weighted door of the tent. That was his best friend in a nutshell—smartass quip, followed by immediate action.

The ruddy tattoo of a coiled rattler glinted across Squirrel’s neck as he shoved open the door and hunched his way out into the snow-crusted tundra that surrounded them. A blast of icy wind swept through the door, prickling against Aiden’s shoulders and the back of his head, before the door banged shut again. It was ass-crack cold and too windy for comfort during February, in the wilds of Vahdat, Tajikistan. Particularly at twenty-three-hundred hours.

Aiden turned back to the spinning circle of doom, and for a moment, a bone white face seemed to unfurl across the laptop screen. A twisted, elongated face with a gaping mouth and slits for eyes. A face surrounded by mist and fog.

He tensed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the image was gone.

Fuuuuck.

He leaned back in the desk chair and scraped his palms down his face. What the fuck had that been about? This was the first time the damn dream had followed him into wakefulness. He’d like to pin that weird moment on stress—after all, they were about to spin up for another assault—except he didn’t do stress.

The rotating circle froze. The monitor flickered, and Demi’s face filled the screen.

Aiden cleared his throat. “Hey babe, like the hair.”

The pixie cut was the same, but the color was new. Blueish green this time. Not a surprise. This was her third color swap in the three years they’d been together. Demi liked to experiment.

Someone toward the back of the tent—Grub, if he wasn’t mistaken—made exaggerated kissing sounds. Most of the crew was sacked out on cots around the tent, trying to catch some shuteye before the chopper went skids up. But without a doubt, Grub wasn’t the only asshole listening to the conversation. The rest would start up with the razzing as soon as he hit the ‘End Call’ button.

Such were the annoyances of team life.

“This isn’t a good time, Aiden. I’m headed out the door,” Demi said in a flat voice. “Is there something you need?

Something I need?

The cool response caught him off guard. This was not how their sporadic FaceTimes went. Had she heard Grub’s bullshit? Was that why she’d shut the conversational door in his face? It was too bad he hadn’t found a warm, private space to place this call. But there had been plenty of less than private chats in the three years they’d been together. She’d never complained, nor had she cut the call short before.

He frowned, leaning closer to the screen. Her gaze was dull with crinkles of tension around her eyes. And her face was…guarded . Flat and guarded ? His gut tightened. This was not the Demi he knew.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.

She gave him a look, one he couldn’t quite decipher. Maybe accusatory? Maybe sad? Maybe both?

“I’m just tired. Today’s been a bad day.” She ran a hand over the top of her blue-green hair and looked down, avoiding his eyes. Her shoulders slumped. When she looked up again, her smile looked forced. “I’m sorry, Aiden. I’ve got to go. Keep yourself safe out there…” her voice trailed off and her lips twisted with something that looked almost cynical. “Wherever there is.”

Cynical? Demi? That couldn’t be right.

The screen went blank.

Aiden sat there, ice shredding his gut. Something was very wrong in sunny Coronado. It was ten-hundred hours in California. He always timed his calls so they wouldn’t be too late or too early for her. This was the first time she’d cut one short. Hell—they hadn’t even had a call. Not much of one, anyway.

He reached for his secure cell phone. It was nine hundred hours in Alaska. His sister Kait should be up, with all synapses firing thanks to a bucket full of coffee. His twin did like her coffee, something Kait and Demi had bonded over.

It took her so long to pick up the call, he was about to hang up and try again later.

“Aiden.” Her voice was breathless. “Sorry, I couldn’t find the phone. What’s up?”

He grimaced, certain that her breathless voice and raspy breathing had more to do with Simcosky’s sexual shenanigans than frantically searching for a ringing phone. And Christ help him—that was not an image he wanted in his head.

“It’s nine hundred hours, for fuck’s sake. You two should be out of bed by now. You’ve been married for two years. You left newlywed status behind months ago.”

“I told you not to answer it,” Cosky grumbled in the background. And then much louder, “Thanks for the cockblock, bro.” Cosky’s voice was so clear, he’d obviously snatched the phone from Kait.

Jesus. Aiden jerked the cell from his ear and pinched his nose, desperately trying to purge that knowledge from his brain. There were some things he simply didn’t want to know when it came to his sister. Her sex life was at the top of that list.

There were scuffling sounds over the line and Kait’s voice was back, sounding more breathless than ever.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this highly irregular call? I mean, this is what, the first call from you in a month?”

“Personal calls are off-limits in sensitive areas.” He reeled off the excuse with practiced deftness, hitting the perfect balance of apologetic and regretful. Still, a twinge of guilt accompanied the half-truth. He really should call Kait more often.

“Suuure.” She drew the word out sarcastically and added a scoff in case he hadn’t picked up on her disbelief. “Let me guess, you’ve got yourself in trouble again and need a healing. It’s been what—” she paused as if she was doing the math. “Thirty days since Cosky and I healed your ass after that idiotic stunt up at Snow Valley?”

He almost objected to the idiotic stunt comment. Everything had been under control until an out-of-control snowboarder barreled into him. Thank Christ Kait and Cosky had joined him and Demi for that weekend ski trip before he’d shipped out. They’d been right there beside him on the slope and healed his floppy knee without his team brothers or CO being any the wiser. He’d gone wheels up with the rest of his team, right on schedule.

“I’m not in need of your miraculous gift.” He wasn’t even being facetious. What his sister could do, particularly when Cosky was with her, truly was miraculous. Unlike his damn talent, which was nothing but a farce. His chest tightened beneath a surge of frustration. He shoved it back. This wasn’t about him. It was about Demi. He nudged the conversation in that direction. “I just wanted to check in, see how you’re doing, that’s all.”

“Right.” Kait’s skepticism sharpened.

A scowl followed his grimace. Hooking up with Simcosky had made Kait immune to his excuses. As a former SEAL, Cosky knew when an explanation rang hollow. And no doubt the nosy bastard was listening to the conversation, his head on the pillow next to hers.

“You want to get on with why you called, bro? Your sister and I would like to continue the…activities…that you interrupted with your lying bullshit.”

Aiden grimaced, pinched the bridge of his nose and purged his brain some more.

“Have you talked to Demi today?” He knew they called each other several times a week since Kait had settled in Alaska. But it was early in both their locations. He wasn’t sure what time their convos took place.

“Not yet. I thought I’d give her the day to wallow. I’ll call her tonight. We’ll have a nice long chat where I’ll encourage her to cry and then distract her with plans for a girls’ trip somewhere. With luck, all the emotions and crying will exhaust her, and she’ll be able to sleep tonight.”

Woah. Wallow? Encourage her to cry . He was right, something was wrong.

“Is there something I should know?” His question was operator code for ‘ What the hell’s wrong?’

Silence hit the line. A long silence. He counted the seconds off in his head. 1…2…3… Yeah, that pause was lingering in dangerous territory.

“Seriously, Aiden?” Kait’s voice turned sharp. “You’ve been dating her for three years and you don’t know the significance of today? Donnie died six years ago today.”

Ah, shit. Aiden closed his eyes. Well, that explained Demi’s doldrums.

“Maybe if you had an honest to God conversation with her when you hit stateside instead of hauling her into bed and screwing her the entire time you’re on leave, you’d know how hard this day is on her.” The acidic quality in Kait’s voice spiked. “It gets a little easier for her each year. But this date will always bring back the sorrow of losing him. Donnie was her heart.”

Aiden’s chest went hot and then cold at the reminder. He was aware of how much Demi had loved her husband. It had taken her three years to come out of that grieving fog she’d drifted around in after his death. Three damn years before she even noticed he existed, and he’d been able to claim her.

A distant, rumbling voice came over the line, breaking into his reverie.

Kait sighed. “Marcus says I’m being unfair. With the lengths of your deployments over the past three years, you’ve barely spent any actual time with her, anyway.” Her voice lost its sharpness. “Honestly, I’m surprised she’s put up with your absences for so long.”

Aiden froze. “For so long? What the hell does that mean?”

The silence that fell between them was almost as long and even more dangerous than it had been before. Every muscle in his body tightened. This was bad. He could sense it.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. But Aiden, you must know how difficult these deployments are for her. Demi isn’t part of the SEAL community. When you leave, she’s completely alone for months at a time. It’s not fair to ask her to put her life on hold for you.”

Aiden couldn’t have been more surprised if a shitkicker had sprung up from beneath his feet and popped him one between the eyes.

“What exactly are you saying, Kait?” he asked, surprised to find his voice even, rather than breathless. “Is she thinking about breaking it off with me?”

There was another pause, shorter this time but fraught with tension. At least on his end.

“I don’t think your current friends with benefits arrangement is working for her. I think she’s ready for something like she had with Donnie. A partner, marriage…someone to have kids with.”

If Aiden got any tighter, his muscles were going to snap. His temper, too. Kait didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about. Demi had never mentioned being dissatisfied with their relationship.

“I wasn’t the one who wanted a friends with benefits package,” he said tightly. “She was.” And he’d agreed to it, because…hell, he would have agreed to anything to get her into his bed, which would give him a chance to worm his way into her heart. Granted, the past three years hadn’t worked out like he’d planned—she still hadn’t admitted she loved him. He knew she did, though. She wouldn’t be so open with him in bed if she wasn’t in love with him. That kind of openness required trust and love. “If she’s changed her mind and wants the white picket fence and diamond ring, I can do that.”

“Aiden,” Kait replied, surprised, then her tone grew weary. “Getting married won’t make the problems disappear, not when you’re gone so much. She’d still be alone while you’re deployed or off on those endless training missions. And when the kids came—she’d be a single mother. She’s not looking for a part-time marriage. And unless you opt out of your next reenlistment contract, that’s all you can offer her.”

A knife twisted in Aiden’s chest. “Mom didn’t consider her marriage to dad a part-time one.”

“Didn’t she?” Kait retorted. “How would you know? She died when we were ten. We never discussed personal stuff—like whether she was happy with dad being gone so much.” She broke off and took an audible breath. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet. “Look, I shouldn’t even be telling you this. It’s between you and Demi.”

Aiden wandered to the tent door and nudged it open, staring out over the shadowy tundra. A thin skiff of snow flocked the sturdy grass, brightening the night. It was gray outside, and miserably cold. An artic wind flayed him through the open flap. Yet it didn’t come close to matching the icy chasm spreading within him.

“Aiden?”

“Yeah,” He turned back, letting the door fall back into place. “She’s talking about breaking things off then? No matter what?”

Kait sighed. “Yeah. She’s planning on telling you face to face once you hit stateside. And unless you’re willing to leave the teams and settle into a 9 to 5, I don’t think you’ll be able to change her mind.”

“That isn’t happening.” His resistance to the idea was instant. Violent even. The SEAL teams were his fucking home. His teammates were his brothers. They were all he’d ever known, all he’d ever wanted. He wasn’t giving them up.

Even if it meant losing Demi?

No, goddammit. No. He wasn’t losing her either. There had to be another way.

“You could join Shadow Mountain. Wolf said there will always be a spot for you among his warriors.”

“Not gonna happen.” The refusal was curt. Final. Shadow Mountain was not home. Wolf’s men were not his brothers.

There had to be another way, a way that would satisfy Demi and allow him to stay on the teams. He was a smart guy, he just needed to think of something. Something that would change her mind and open her eyes to what they had. There had to be a compromise they could both live with.

He just needed to find it.