Chapter 9
9
Malik
I refused to acknowledge that I’d slept peacefully the entire night, and I pretended as if last night didn’t happen at all. I was not going to acknowledge how calm I’d felt all night in Rurik’s arms nor how well I’d slept with him at my back. And discussions of how I woke up rock hard and practically on top of Rurik with my head on his chest, my arm thrown over his flat stomach, and my leg thrown over his, were off the damn table.
As soon as I’d woken up, I’d been internally horrified that Rurik was already awake and had been scraping his blunt nails along my scalp. I’d shot out of his arms immediately and lurched from the bed, rushing into the bathroom. I took an ice-cold shower to force my dick to practically retreat into my body, and then I got dressed for the day. Thankfully, when I emerged from the bathroom, he just told me to get my shoes on so we could go get breakfast. He didn’t say anything about me crawling into bed with him or how I’d practically laid on top of him while sleeping.
Now, as we sat in a small diner down the street from the hotel we’d stayed in for the night, Rurik was still quiet, which was unlike him and had me on edge. The only reason I was able to swallow every bite of food I put into my mouth was because I needed to eat to keep my strength up.
That and the whole hunger-rage thing. I wasn’t keen on being dropped to my knees by Rurik again, even if I did sort of like it. And I refused to focus on that either or how every time he dropped me to my knees, something in my head went quiet and forced the rage I constantly felt to recede a bit.
“When we finish here,” Rurik finally said, making me drag my eyes up from my plate of eggs and hashbrowns to look up at him, “you’re going to make the phone call to Kaleen and arrange a meeting.”
“He’s going to want to meet alone,” I warned him. Kaleen wasn’t the kind of man to back himself into a corner, even if we had no intention of harming him. I would be meeting him alone or there would be no meeting at all, regardless of if he owed me or not. That was just how he worked.
Rurik nodded. “I figured as much. You’ll be alone, but you’ll wear a wire.”
I dropped my fork to my plate with a loud clatter, glaring at him. People turned to look at us, but I ignored them. Rurik sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face. A wire would just set Kaleen off. He was fucking stupid if he thought the man wouldn’t pat me down for something like that. If he was part of the Savage Dreams MC, then he was definitely going to know who I was attached to.
Wearing a wire was a sure-fire way to get me killed. No fucking thank you. My mother would resurrect me just to kill me herself.
And that notion was more terrifying than dying in the first place.
“A wire is not fucking happening,” I growled. “You want me to fucking die, Rurik? Because make no mistake, Kaleen will put a bullet through my skull quick as fuck if he catches me wearing one.”
Rurik clenched his jaw. “I can’t have you going in without being able to keep check on you, Malik.”
I scoffed and grabbed my fork again. “I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, Rurik. Don’t ever doubt that.”
He blew out a harsh breath and grabbed his coffee. “It’s not you I worry about. It’s every other uncontrollable mother fucker in the world I worry about.” He lifted his gaze to look at me over the rim of his mug, his blue eyes meeting mine. My stomach swooped, and my heart stalled in my chest at the possessive, predatory, claiming gleam in his eyes. “I don’t want you in a situation I can’t fucking control.”
My fingers tightened around my fork. Clenching my jaw, I forced my gaze away from his and glared down at my plate, forcing myself to breathe and focus on forking food into my mouth. I would not give in to Rurik. I would not fall into whatever trap he was planting in front of me. He wanted to… what? Possess me? Own me?
It could not happen. Already, I wasn’t myself around him. It was like I lost all control of who I was. He made me so fucking agitated , but when he looked at me like that, all that agitation melted away.
He left me feeling… discombobulated. And what the fuck was I supposed to do with that feeling? How was I supposed to operate when he left me feeling so goddamn unhinged?
“Tough luck, Rurik,” I finally said after I’d chewed a bite of my food and felt a little calmer. Like I could fucking breathe again. “You put me in the GBMC. I’m always put in situations you can’t control.”
When I looked at him, his jaw was tight, and for a second, I for sure thought he was about to grab me by the front of my shirt, drag me across the table, and kiss the ever living fuck out of me. But then, he closed his eyes and took another sip of his coffee, reigning himself in just like that . Always in control. Always calm.
God, I fucking hated him .