Chapter 3
Chapter
Three
July 22 nd
12:18 A.M.
Flashing lights around the back of his building caught Cole’s attention as he drove toward it.
His gut tightened.
That must have been where Susanna was attacked.
Since she’d thrown him out of her hospital room, he hadn't heard the story, but he knew enough to come up with a story that would be fairly accurate based on the injuries he’d assessed while he waited for the ambulance to arrive.
The bruises on her wrists and the insides of her legs told him she had almost definitely been raped, and Susanna had all but confirmed it without actually saying the words. The bruises on her face also said she’d been hit several times, whether that was to get her under control or just for her assailant’s pleasure, he didn't know.
He couldn’t know unless he was able to get his hands on her statement.
Which he was surprised to find he did, in fact, want to.
Guilt was gnawing at him. Every single horrible slur he’d ever thrown Susanna’s way was now racing through his head in a seemingly never-ending stream. He’d been beyond nasty, mocked her, taunted her, and allowed his issues to come out on someone who, as it turned out, was completely innocent.
No.
Not innocent.
Susanna wasn't just innocent of the crimes he’d believed she had committed, she actually dedicated her life to helping victims of crime and counseling addicts to try to help them turn their lives around.
How could he have been so wrong about her?
Usually, he was a good judge of character. Understanding people, how to put them at ease, what they needed, and what motivated them all came so easily to him.
But not this time.
This time he’d been monumentally wrong.
Turning away from the lights, he was unable to look at them a moment longer because they made him feel ill as he pictured the small, traumatized woman sitting in a hospital bed doing her best to hold it together.
As Cole parked and headed up to his apartment, he noticed no cops in Susanna’s apartment. She’d been attacked outside, not in her home, yet she’d made her way up to his apartment on the fourteenth floor, bypassing her own in the process.
Why had she done that?
Why had she come to him when they didn't even like each other?
Although, how much of that dislike was solely on his shoulders? Susanna had every right to hate him given how he’d treated her. How he was going to make it up to her he had no idea.
It was probably best to just leave her alone. Nod politely if they crossed paths in the hall or the lift, assuming she decided not to move, and just keep his distance. It wasn't like there was anything he could say to make what had happened to her any better, and he couldn’t imagine his presence would help her recovery in any way.
After apologizing he’d stay away from her.
No big deal.
So why was he rubbing at his chest to soothe the ache there as he unlocked his front door and headed into his apartment?
As soon as he entered his place, his siblings immediately surged forward. He’d called Cooper—who just happened to be the last person he’d called before Susanna knocked on his door, so he’d just hit the first name on the call list—while waiting for the ambulance. Cole wasn't sure why, maybe he’d just needed one of his big brothers to ground him. Then after the ambulance showed up and he decided to go with Susanna, who had still been unconscious at that time, to the hospital, he’d texted to say not to bother coming to join him there.
Apparently, Cooper had listened in as much as he hadn't turned up at the hospital. Instead, he’d summoned all the troops and come to wait for him there.
Gratefulness for the family he knew would always have his back eased a little of his guilt.
“How is she?” Willow was the first to ask. Not surprisingly, given that she’d just lived through a horrific ordeal of her own just a couple of weeks ago.
Dragging his hands down his face, Cole leaned back against his now-closed front door, allowing it to support him as he tried to process how he’d felt sitting beside Susanna’s unconscious form.
“She’s … awake,” he answered.
“Condition?” Cooper asked, looping an arm around Willow’s waist and tugging her back to lean against him.
“Whoever attacked her beat her pretty badly. She’ll heal and won’t have any physical scars.” Susanna would have plenty of psychological ones though.
“She was raped?” Connor, Cooper’s twin brother, asked. They all winced at the word. The fact that their mom had been raped as part of her work at the CIA hadn't sunk in for any of them yet. They’d learned it less than two weeks ago while in Egypt, and while they were trying to figure out how it fitted into their mom being set up as a traitor, a crime they all knew she was innocent of, they hadn't made much progress.
Fighting down the bile that burned his throat, Cole managed a nod. “Pretty sure she was.”
“Why’d she come up here to your place?” Jax asked. Jax Holloway and his brother Jake’s father had served with his father in Delta Force. After the team was set up and killed, their dad was the only one to survive. All of them had been shocked when he had promptly married their mom, and Cole was ashamed to say that he and his brothers hadn't handled the abrupt marriage very well, and the last few months of their mom’s life had been fraught with tension and anger.
“Isn't she the neighbor you're obsessed with?” Cassandra added. As the youngest of all seven of them and the only girl, it was safe to say that she’d grown up spoiled. Still, Cassandra was the sweetest, sun shiniest person you’d ever meet. Sweet, kind, and compassionate, losing both her parents so young hadn't stifled the good person she was.
“I'm not obsessed with her,” Cole protested. Cassandra was the second sibling to accuse him of that tonight, but it wasn't true. He’d never liked Susanna, but he wasn't obsessed with her. He just couldn’t seem to help himself shooting nasty words her way whenever they were in the same vicinity.
“I said the same thing,” Cooper added, and Cole shot him a glare.
“I just didn't like her,” he muttered, shoving away from the door and stalking to the kitchen.
“Care to share why?” Cassandra pressed. Leave it to his baby sister to pick up on a thread of weakness and pull away at it until she figured out everyone’s secrets.
Only this time there were no secrets.
He’d allowed the fact that his ex had cheated on him with dozens of men, most of whom she’d taken money from for her services, to coat how he saw a perfectly innocent woman. He was ashamed of his behavior, but the only one he owed an explanation to was Susanna herself, and right now, she had bigger worries than her jerk of a neighbor.
“So did she tell you why she came to you?” Cade asked when Cole ignored Cassandra’s question.
“She doesn’t ever remember doing it,” he replied as he opened his fridge with a little more force than necessary and snatched up a can of soda. “She was surprised to see me there and confused as to why she would have come to me since neither of us like each other.”
Again, Cassandra quirked a brow, her green eyes, identical to their mom’s, so full of questions, but thankfully she kept them to herself.
“She’s not alone right?” Willow asked, leaning back into Cooper for support, and for the first time since he and his brothers flew to Egypt to help Cooper and Willow and found that the two were now a couple, Cole felt a stab of jealousy.
Not that he at all begrudged Cooper and Willow their happiness. If anyone deserved happiness, it was certainly the brave woman sitting in his living room. He was happy for his brother, and he couldn’t wait to stand up for him at the wedding that would no doubt be happening sometime in the coming months, but he wanted to find that same kind of forever love that Cooper had been lucky enough to get with Willow.
“Nah, she’s apparently friends with the detectives who showed up to take her statement,” Cole assured her, ignoring the stab of jealousy he felt as he thought about how easily Susanna had fallen into that detective’s arms.
It shouldn’t matter.
He didn't like Susanna.
Nothing had changed just because he’d found out he was wrong about her.
Okay, some things had changed, he’d apologize for his bad behavior and make sure he treated her with the respect he should have shown her all along despite his suspicions about how she supported herself.
But it wasn't like he wanted to date her.
Wasn't that he wanted her to fall so easily into his arms when she was alone, scared, and hurting.
Wasn't that he wanted anything to do with her at all.
Absolutely wasn't.
July 22 nd
9:42 P.M.
Sometimes being super stubborn was a bad thing.
There were times it could be good. If Susanna wasn't stubborn she would never have survived her childhood. Likewise, if she wasn't stubborn, she wouldn't have put herself through college, working three jobs to pay her way while also graduating Summa Cum Laude. Nor would she be able to juggle running a charity while also working a full-time job counseling addicts.
So, while there were for sure some benefits to having a stubborn streak a mile wide, there were also a whole lot of drawbacks.
Like right now for instance.
Susanna stood inside her empty apartment, completely alone when all she wanted was company.
Why was it so hard for her to express her needs?
Okay, totally stupid question there.
Of course, she knew why it was so hard for her.
It was because she had expressed her needs as a child and had been ignored repeatedly. How many times had she begged her father not to hurt her? How many times had she pleaded with her mother to take them both away so they could be someplace safe?
Too many to count.
When that had failed, she’d gone to a teacher she trusted at her school and shared what happened inside her house when no one was looking.
That had spectacularly backfired.
The teacher hadn't believed her. She had called in her dad, who had the act of charming, good guy down to a perfected T. She’d been horrifically punished for that infraction.
Not that it had stopped her.
She’d tried again.
About a year later, she’d managed to sneak away one afternoon at the park when she spotted a police car. She’d told them what had been happening to her, but her father was smart enough not to leave behind evidence of his sick, twisted games, and once again she hadn't been believed.
After that, she’d just stopped trying to get help and lived through hell until she was old enough to get out on her own. Nobody was going to believe that the great Jon Zangari, heir to the hotel chain known across the world, who was charming, funny, handsome, and generous, would hurt his own daughter.
Being told she was a liar and a troublemaking attention seeker had led her to internalize everything, to rely on no one but herself, and to trust no one.
Which was exactly why she’d said no when several of her friends had offered to either come and stay with her at her place or let her crash on their couch when she’d been released from the hospital.
She had wanted so badly to say yes, to beg not to be left alone with her thoughts, but she’d been unable to physically make the words come out of her mouth. Instead, she’d offered a reassuring smile, promised to call if she needed anything—which she would do under only the most dire circumstances—and said she’d be fine on her own.
Only she wasn't fine.
Anything but.
In the couple of hours since Polly and Phillip had dropped her off, she’d paced around the apartment, feeling like a caged tiger. She’d made herself dinner but been unable to stomach it. She’d eyed her bed but been unable to make herself lie down in it for fear of nightmares. She had, however, disobeyed her doctor’s orders and stood under a pulsing hot shower, as hot as she could stand, and scrubbed her body over and over again.
Not that it had done any good.
The feel of her attacker still lingered on her skin. It felt like it had seeped down beneath her skin until it invaded her body in a way that made it feel like she could never be rid of the sensation of his hands on her.
Hot water wasn't supposed to be good for her bruises, and she had a deep laceration on her head where her attacker had slammed it into the wall that she was supposed to keep dry.
Now there was nothing else for her to do.
Calling one of her friends wasn't an option.
Neither was going next door to Cole.
Susanna had no idea why she even wanted to go over there. Cole was a jerk, he’d had the audacity to decide that she was a hooker with zero proof or reason to think so. She had no idea why he even thought that, although she knew he thought she was nothing but a spoiled princess who had never worked a day in her life and had grown up in the lap of luxury.
Tired as she was of that assumption just because of her last name, at least those were insults she was accustomed to. The prostitute one had come so far out of left field that she’d never even seen it coming. It was especially ludicrous since she’d had a total of two sexual partners in her entire life, one in high school, and one in college. Neither had been fulfilling, and both had been boys wanting to use her because of who she was not because they cared about her in any way.
Still, despite the way he’d treated her several times, she’d almost gone to the door of her apartment. Almost pulled it open. Almost walked down the hall to hammer on his door.
Luckily, each time she managed to stop herself, but she hated that the desire was even there.
She was Susanna Zangari, and she’d learned long ago not to bother relying on others.
How many times did she need to get knocked down before she learned her lesson?
Cole hated her. Maybe he felt bad now he knew the truth about her, but that hardly changed the fact that every interaction they’d had since he’d moved into the building three years ago had been negative.
With a sigh, she dragged her weary body over to her couch and grabbed a blanket. Wrapping herself up like a burrito, Susanna dropped into the soft leather cushions and turned on the TV.
Not even bothering to see what was actually on, Susanna just chose the same show she’d watched last on Netflix and settled down. She stared unblinkingly at the TV, doing her best to stay awake even as her eyes grew heavy.
Sleep was the last thing she wanted.
Sleep came with dreams.
Sleep was her enemy for the foreseeable future.
Sleep had a mind of its own and came without biding.
Her mind was distracted as she walked back from the store, fixated on a young patient she’d thought she was making headway with. Only everything had fallen apart. The young man had been clean for almost six months when the unexpected death of his father and stepmother, the two most consistent people in his life, had sent him into a tailspin.
She wanted to help but was at a loss as to what to try next.
Because she was distracted, she didn't notice the shadowy figure behind her until it was too late.
Pain slammed through her body as she was grabbed from behind and rammed into the concrete wall of her apartment building.
Instinct had her crying out and fighting against the rough hands that easily stopped her attempts at escape.
The zipper undoing was loud.
Too loud.
She knew what was coming but couldn’t stop it from happening.
Story of her life.
He was big and already hard.
The hand not pinning her wrists in place above her head fumbled with her sundress, hiking it up to bare her panties.
Susanna begged and pleaded and cried for help, but then his bruising lips were pressed to hers in a crushing kiss that tasted like evil.
It had been years since she’d had sex, and pain tore through her as he roughly shoved inside her.
It felt horrible.
Felt wrong.
But she couldn’t get him out.
He thrust, and grunted against her lips, then moments later she felt him come, his disgusting semen squirting inside her.
As he pulled out of her, his hands grabbed her shoulders, and he slammed her backward into the wall, her head taking the brunt of the impact.
“Tell your neighbor boyfriend to back off or he won't like the consequences.”
The words were whispered against her lip right before her head was once again slammed into the wall, leaving her borderline conscious.
His hands released her, and woozy and unbalanced, Susanna slid down to the ground.
Waking on a gasp, Susanna was already shoving to her feet.
How had she forgotten that the man spoke to her?
He’d given her a warning for her boyfriend. Only she didn't have a boyfriend. He’d mentioned the word neighbor … was it possible whoever had attacked her believed that she and Cole were a couple, and that threatening her was a way to get him to back off from …? She had no idea because not only weren't they a couple, but they weren't even friends.
Barely able to breathe past the tight knot of panic in her chest, Susanna found herself once again running toward the man who hated her.