37. Kaia
"Ow!" I yelp as Seren attacks another tangle with her enchanted hairbrush. "Are you trying to scalp me?"
"Beauty is pain, darling," she says cheerfully, wielding the brush like a weapon. "Now hold still. I'm almost done with this section."
My shadows writhe sympathetically around my feet, and I swear one of them is mimicking Seren's enthusiastic brushing motions. Another keeps trying to steal the brush when she's not looking, probably to save me from further torture.
"I don't see why I can't just wear it down," I mutter, wincing as she starts on another section.
"Because," Seren says with exaggerated patience, "this is your first Equinox Ball. Everyone who matters will be there. Including all those brooding boys who keep following you around like lost puppies."
"They don't—" I start to protest, but she cuts me off with a wave of her brush.
"Please. I've seen the way they look at you. Especially when they think no one's watching." She pauses, studying my reflection. "Although lately, it seems like Darian's the only one you're noticing."
Something in her tone makes me shift uncomfortably. "He's... different. Easy to talk to."
"Mm-hmm." Seren's reflection raises an eyebrow. "And the fact that he's gorgeous has nothing to do with it?"
"They’re all gorgeous.” I retort before I can stop myself.
My face reddens, “Can we just focus on the hair torture?" I ask, desperate to change the subject. My shadows flicker restlessly, and I force them to still.
Hours later, I barely recognize the girl in the mirror. My usual mess of blonde waves has been transformed into an intricate updo, with delicate wisps framing my face. Tiny crystals catch the light with every movement, making it look like I'm wearing a crown of stars.
The midnight blue gown Seren loaned me flows like liquid starlight, hugging my curves before cascading into a full skirt with a daring slit up one side. My eyes, usually a stormy violet, shimmer with flecks of silver thanks to her careful application of some kind of magical cosmetics.
"Holy shit," I whisper.
Seren beams. "I know, right? You're welcome."
I stand, fighting the urge to hide under the bed. Part of me—the part that's spent years trying to be invisible—wants to change into my regular clothes and forget this whole thing.
But a larger part is tired of hiding.
"Ready?" Seren asks, practically vibrating with excitement.
I take a deep breath, squaring my shoulders. "As I'll ever be."
“Good. You look fantastic. Now, I have a few last minute touches to make. I’ll see you down there in a bit.” Seren pauses at the door, glancing back at me with a hesitant smile. “You’ll be amazing tonight, Kaia. Just... don’t let anyone dim your light.” Then she’s gone, her lavender hair disappearing down the corridor like a comet.
The room suddenly feels too quiet without her bubbly energy, and I'm left alone with my reflection and my thoughts.
I turn back to the mirror, studying the stranger staring back at me. The girl in the glass is ethereal, otherworldly—a far cry from the scruffy, shadow-wielding outcast I've been for so long. My fingers trace the delicate curve of my cheek, the arch of my brow, as if touching my face might shatter the illusion.
Who am I now? The question echoes in my mind, persistent and unsettling.
I used to be so sure of myself, of my place in the world. Looking out for myself, taking care of myself. I was Kaia, a girl who tried to blend in, and just get through the day and knowing full well that I had no one else but myself.
Okay and Mouse.
But now? Everything's blurred, like looking through frosted glass and I don’t know what to do about it. There’s no more time to dwell about it now, I’m sure Darian is already waiting.
I make my way down to the shadow faction common room and just as I suspected. Darian is already there.
At the base of the stairs, Darian waits in a perfectly tailored black tuxedo that makes his gray eyes gleam like polished silver. When he looks up, his expression shifts into something almost reverent.
"You're breathtaking," he says, offering his hand. "I don't know whether to call you a star or a storm."
I manage a smile, though my shadows twitch uneasily. "You might be laying it on a little thick."
"Can you blame me?" He steps closer, his hand warm as it settles on my waist. "Shall we?"
The walk to the ballroom is quick, we make casual conversation but I don’t really remember it. The beat of my heart pounding in my ears, my anxiety, it’s all about to boil over.
The ballroom takes my breath away. Enchanted constellations swirl overhead, casting ever-changing patterns across the crowd. Floating candles drift like stars, their light reflecting off the polished marble floor. The air tastes like magic—sharp and sweet and slightly dangerous.
Darian guides me through the crowd with perfect grace, but I can't shake the feeling that something's off. My shadows brush against my ankles insistently, like they're trying to pull me back.
"You're tense," Darian murmurs, his voice low and intimate.
"Just not used to this," I say, forcing another smile.
His hand tightens slightly at my waist. "You should let yourself enjoy it. After all, you deserve to shine, Kaia."
A shiver runs down my spine at his words, though I'm not sure why. Before I can respond, the music changes to a slower melody. Darian pulls me closer, and I catch a glimpse of Finn watching us from across the room. His usual grin is nowhere to be seen.
"They don't understand you," Darian says suddenly, his voice soft but weighted.
I blink, startled. "What?"
"Your friends," he clarifies. "They care about you, yes. But they don't see your true potential. Not like I do."
"That's not—" I start to protest, but he continues smoothly.
"They mean well. But they're afraid of what you might become. They want to keep you safe, controlled." His thumb traces small circles on my back. "But what if you don't need protecting? What if you need freedom?"
His words sink deep, finding purchase in doubts I've tried to ignore. My shadows twist sharply, and Darian glances down with the briefest frown before his expression smooths.
"Trust me," he whispers, leaning closer. "I can help you become everything you're meant to be."
The way he says it makes something cold settle in my chest, but before I can dwell on it, the music shifts and another voice cuts through the tension.
"Mind if I cut in?"
I turn to find Finn standing beside us, his usual mischievous grin firmly in place. But there's something different in his eyes—something almost fierce.
"Actually," Darian starts, but I'm already stepping away from him.
"Sure," I say, ignoring the way Darian's fingers tighten briefly before letting go. My shadows seem to sigh with relief, curling happily around Finn's ankles.
Finn's grin softens into something warmer as he pulls me into the dance. "You look incredible, by the way. Like some kind of shadow goddess."
I laugh despite myself. "Now who's laying it on thick?"
"Hey, I'm always honest about the important stuff." His hand is warm on my waist, steadying rather than controlling. "Like how Bob's been trying to trip Darian all night. He’s currently doing a victory dance around my feet."
I glance down and can't help smiling at the way my shadows seem to preen under his attention. "You're ridiculous."
"You like it," he says confidently, then spins me in a surprisingly graceful turn.
"When did you learn to dance?" I ask, momentarily forgetting my unease.
His eyes sparkle with familiar mischief. "I contain multitudes of surprises. Also, Malrik's been teaching me. Don't tell him I told you—he'll deny everything."
The mention of Malrik makes me glance around, finally spotting him near one of the massive windows. He's watching us with an unreadable expression, but something about his intensity makes my heart skip.
"He's worried about you, you know," Finn says softly, following my gaze. "We all are."
I stiffen slightly. "I can take care of myself."
"Oh, we know that." Finn's tone is light but his eyes are serious. "Doesn't mean you have to, though."
Before I can respond, he dips me dramatically, making me yelp in surprise. When he pulls me back up, we're much closer than before. His breath catches slightly, and I realize I'm staring at his lips.
"Kaia," he starts, his voice rougher than usual.
The music swells, and something in the enchanted constellations above shifts. The moment breaks as Finn glances up, his expression sharpening.
"What is it?" I ask, but he's already straightening, though his hand stays warm on my waist.
"Nothing good," he mutters, then flashes me a quick grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Rain check on that dance?"
I watch Finn weave through the crowd, his shoulders tense, and a part of me wants to follow. But my feet stay rooted, my shadows coiling around my legs like chains. Across the room, I feel Thorne’s gaze settle on me, sharp and deliberate. It makes my skin crawl, but when I blink, he's gone.
The enchanted constellations continue to swirl overhead, but their light seems colder now, my shadows twist anxiously around me.