49. Kaia
My emotions war inside me—anger, confusion, and that damned lingering attraction I can't quite squash. His gray eyes are intense, almost pleading, but I've learned the hard way how practiced his performances can be.
In the weeks since the dance, I’ve tried to find my footing. My shadows have grown stronger, more coordinated, but so have the questions. And Darian… he’s been both a ghost and a constant presence in my thoughts.
Bob presses against my legs protectively, his shadowy tendrils curling around my ankles with a faint, soothing pulse. Patricia hovers nearby, her form flickering like a quill mid-sentence as she meticulously documents every micro-expression that crosses Darian's face. Her shadow-notes dart and swirl with purpose, an almost palpable reminder of her sharp focus. My necklace pulses with warmth against my skin—a warning or encouragement, I'm not sure which.
I cross my arms. "Right," I drawl, "because you've been so forthcoming and trustworthy up until now."
He flinches, and I hate the tiny part of me that wants to comfort him. Mouse is at my side now, growing slightly larger than his usual form, violet eyes fixed unblinkingly on Darian.
"I deserve that," he admits softly. "But Kaia, please. Just hear me out."
I bite my lip, warring with myself. Part of me wants to tell him exactly where he can shove his explanations. But another part remembers genuine moments—his pride when my shadows formed their first perfect shield, the warmth in his smile during early training sessions. Was any of it real?
"Fine," I say finally, my tone clipped. "You've got two minutes. Make them count."
As Darian begins to speak, I can't shake the feeling that whatever he's about to say is going to change everything. Again.
I have no idea if this will work, but I mentally nudge Bob, hoping he can hear my thoughts.
Hey buddy, can you let Finn or Malrik know where I am? Just in case.
The shadow gives me a subtle salute before detaching a small part of himself to slip away beneath the courtyard stones.
Patricia redoubles her note-taking efforts, while another odd shadow swirls restlessly around my feet, clearly unhappy with the situation. The remaining shadows form a loose circle around us, not quite threatening but definitely alert.
Darian's words wash over me, and I find myself begrudgingly drawn in. "The factions, the prejudice against shadow magic – it's all based on fear and misinformation," he says, his voice low and urgent. His own shadows seem to ripple beneath his skin, nothing like my living companions but somehow familiar —a resemblance that tugs at something in my memory, as though I've encountered their essence before. "There's so much potential in what you can do, Kaia. Potential to bridge worlds, to heal rifts that have existed for centuries."
I arch an eyebrow, though my heart races at his words. My necklace warms against my skin, responding to something in his speech. "And let me guess, you just happened to stumble upon this groundbreaking information?"
He has the decency to look sheepish. Something flickers across his face—pain? Regret? It's gone too quickly to read. "I've... done research. A lot of it. Trying to find history that was hidden, the true nature of shadow magic – it's all been twisted over time."
As much as I hate to admit it, his words strike a chord. I've felt it, haven't I? The way my shadows respond to emotion, to life itself. The way they protect and nurture, not just defend. They're not just darkness and danger—they're family. Mouse presses against my legs, as if agreeing with my thoughts.
"So what, you've been playing both sides this whole time?" I ask, hating how my voice wavers. Patricia's shadow-notes flutter more urgently.
Darian steps closer, and my traitorous heart skips a beat. I hate the way his presence stirs something unbidden—an infuriating mix of vulnerability and longing that clashes with my simmering anger. Part of me wants to lash out, to remind him of the trust he's shattered, while another part aches to believe that there's still truth in his words. There's something in his eyes—a desperation, a longing that feels too real to be fake. "I didn't know what to believe at first," he admits. "But the more I learned about you, about your power..." He trails off, his gaze intense. His hand twitches, as if he wants to reach for me.
I'm about to respond when a familiar arm drapes across my shoulders, bringing with it the scent of pine and mischief. Finn. My shadows practically purr, surging toward him with obvious joy. Bob's messenger portion reforms, mission accomplished.
"Hey there, troublemakers," Finn says, his tone light but his eyes sharp. The Finnick immediately swirls around his feet in greeting, while Patricia shows him her notes with obvious pride. "Having a nice chat?"
Darian's expression flickers for just a moment, his shadows retreating slightly before smoothing over. "Actually," he says, "I was just telling Kaia about some information I've uncovered. Information that could help keep her safe."
Finn's arm tightens almost imperceptibly around me. His usual playful demeanor is there, but there's steel underneath—a quiet, unyielding strength that radiates through his touch. It’s a reminder that while he thrives on jokes and mischief, his loyalty and protectiveness are unshakable when it matters most. "Oh?" he says, all faux casualness. "Do tell. I'm always up for a good story."
As Darian launches into an explanation about ancient wards and protective spells, I can't help but notice how different his shadow energy feels from mine. His is contained, controlled—almost artificial. Like a perfectly tailored suit that doesn't quite fit. Mouse's ears perk up at certain words, and I make mental notes of what catches his attention.
"The key is understanding that shadow magic isn't inherently dark," Darian explains, his hands moving eloquently as he speaks. "It's about balance. Light and dark, life and death—it's all connected. Your necklace there? It's more than just a piece of jewelry. It's a key."
The pendant pulses warmly at his words, and my shadows ripple in response. Finn's hand finds mine, squeezing gently. I'm grateful for his grounding presence as Darian continues.
"A key to what?" I ask, unable to help myself. Even my skepticism can't completely squash my curiosity.
Darian's eyes light up with an intensity that's either genuine passion or incredibly good acting. "To understanding your true heritage. To unlocking powers that could restore balance to all the realms. It was protected for centuries as far as I can tell. Your necklace is depicted in a few ancient texts."
I feel Finn tense beside me at the mention of my necklace in ancient texts. My shadows cluster closer, responding to the shift in atmosphere. The sun dips lower on the horizon, casting long shadows across the courtyard. In the growing darkness, I swear I can see something shifting beneath Darian's skin—a glint of metallic tension coiling and uncoiling, like chains straining against an unseen force. The sight sends a chill skittering down my spine, the unnatural movement a silent warning that whatever binds him is more than just shadows.
"That's fascinating," Finn says, his voice deceptively light. "Really. But you'll forgive us if we're a bit skeptical about your sudden desire to share all this information." His free hand absently strokes Bob's tendrils, earning a shadow-purr. "Especially given recent events."
Darian's perfect composure cracks, just for a second. Something like real pain flashes across his face. "I know I have no right to ask for your trust," he says softly. "But Kaia... there are things coming. Things that—"
He's cut off by a sudden commotion near the main hall. Students pour out of the doors, chattering excitedly about dinner. The moment breaks, reality rushing back in.
"We should go," I say firmly, though my mind is racing with questions. "Thanks for the history lesson."
As Finn steers me away, I glance back once. Darian stands alone in the growing darkness, his shadows writhing beneath his shirt like restless snakes. For a moment, he looks lost, almost vulnerable. Then his mask slips back into place, and he turns sharply on his heel, striding away.
"Well, that was interesting," Finn murmurs as we head toward the dining hall. "Bob's been trying to tell me something about him for weeks, you know."
I lean into his warmth, grateful for his steady presence. "Yeah? What's Bob's theory?"
"That there's more to this than just Darian being an ass." Finn's voice grows serious. "Your shadows... they don't hate him, exactly. They pity him. And that worries me more than anything else."
My shadows ripple faintly, their movements softer now, less defensive. One of them brushes against Darian’s retreating figure before curling back to me like an apology. I don’t know what they’re trying to tell me, but the ache in my chest deepens.
My necklace pulses once, strong and clear, as if in agreement. I wrap my arms around Finn before I can stop myself. I’m suddenly cold despite the lingering warmth of the day.
"Come on," Finn says, his usual cheeky grin returning. "Let's get some food. I hear they're serving those pastries you like—you know, the ones Finnick keeps trying to steal?"
That gets a laugh out of me before I can stop it.