55. Kaia
I pace the empty classroom, my footsteps echoing against the cold stone walls. Shadows curl and twist anxiously around my ankles, their agitation mirroring the turmoil in my chest. Mouse prowls nearby, his tail lashing as if he, too, can sense my unease.
"You’re going to wear a hole in the floor," Finn calls from his perch on a desk. "Though Bob could patch it up. He’s getting pretty handy with construction work."
Bob puffs up dramatically at the mention of his name, but I don’t laugh. My thoughts are a tangled mess, and even Finn’s humor can’t untangle them.
Something’s wrong. The shadows won’t stop moving, and the weight of Thorne’s watchful gaze from earlier still lingers like a phantom.
"You need to breathe," Malrik’s low voice cuts through the room, grounding in its quiet intensity. He leans against the far wall, his silver eyes tracking my restless movement.
"I can’t," I admit, pressing my hands to my temples as my shadows writhe like living echoes of my turmoil. "They won’t settle. It’s like they’re trying to tell me something, but I don’t know how to listen."
Mouse growls low, pacing circles around my feet. The shadows respond by curling tighter, their sharp edges brushing against my skin.
Malrik straightens, pushing away from the wall with slow, deliberate movements. "Then let me help." He doesn’t wait for my reply, stepping closer until the chaotic shadows flicker, uncertain.
"What are you—" My question dies in my throat as he extends a hand, palm up, and lets one of my shadows brush against his fingers. They tremble, retreating slightly, before cautiously curling toward him again.
"Shadows reflect their master’s state of mind," he murmurs, his voice as steady as the tide. "They’re connected to you, and right now, they’re feeding on your stress."
I close my eyes, taking a shaky breath. "I don’t know how to stop it."
"You don’t need to stop it." His voice is closer now, and when I open my eyes, he’s standing directly in front of me. His presence is grounding, his silver gaze impossibly calm. "You need to meet them where they are. Let them feel what you’re feeling, and they’ll quiet."
I shake my head. "What if I can’t?"
"You can." His fingers brush mine, sending a spark through my skin. His shadows stir faintly around his feet, a dark mirror of my own. "You’re stronger than you think, Kaia."
His words settle over me like a balm, and I focus on the warmth of his touch, the steadiness in his presence. Slowly, my shadows begin to calm, their movements softening, no longer jagged and sharp.
"There," he says, his voice almost a whisper. "See? They trust you. You just have to trust yourself."
The room feels quieter, the suffocating weight in my chest lifting. I meet his gaze, gratitude swelling in my throat. "Thank you."
Malrik’s lips quirk into the faintest smile. "Anytime."
Behind us, Finn’s exaggerated sigh breaks the moment. "Well, this has been thoroughly heartwarming. But if Bob starts writing poetry about you two, I’m blaming Malrik."
I exhale slowly, letting the tension drain from my body as my shadows soften further, their once-frantic movements now gentle, almost soothing. They ripple around Malrik’s fingers before curling back toward me, their presence no longer a weight but a quiet reminder that I’m not alone.
"They’ve always known what I needed before I did," I say softly, more to myself than anyone else. "But I’ve been so focused on keeping them controlled, I didn’t stop to listen."
Malrik’s hand lingers near mine, his expression unreadable but steady. "Then listen now. They’re on your side, Kaia. Always have been."
The truth in his words settles over me like a warm blanket, and for the first time in days, I feel a flicker of clarity. My shadows twine together at my feet, almost shyly, like they’re waiting for approval.
Finn, of course, can’t leave the moment alone.
"That’s all very touching," he interrupts, hopping off the desk and clapping his hands together. "But can we talk about how Bob’s been shipping you two since day one?"
I blink at him, caught off guard by the abrupt shift. "What?"
"Bob," Finn repeats, gesturing toward the shadow in question, who promptly puffs into a perfect heart shape between me and Malrik. "See? Matchmaker extraordinaire."
Malrik’s expression tightens, his jaw working as he levels a glare at the shadow. "I will end you," he mutters darkly.
The sudden absurdity of it all—Malrik’s death glare at a shadow, Bob’s unapologetic showmanship, and Finn’s unrelenting grin—snaps the last of the tension in the room. A laugh bubbles out of me, unbidden and unstoppable, and for the first time in a long while, it feels like I can breathe again.
Bob responds by pushing me forward, sending me stumbling against Malrik's chest. Heat blooms under my skin where his hands steady me, and the closeness sends my heart racing. For a moment, I freeze, caught between the surge of embarrassment and the unspoken tension crackling between us. His gaze holds mine, unreadable yet magnetic, and I feel the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on me.
"Subtle, Bob," Finn comments, but his voice has dropped to a register I've never heard before.
"I hate you all," I mutter, but I don't move away from Malrik's grip.
"No, you don't," Finn says softly, sliding off the desk to approach us. "That's kind of the problem, isn't it?"
The air in the room feels charged, electric with unspoken words. Malrik's hands are still on my arms, his warmth seeping through my skin like a salve. Finn stands close, his usual mischief replaced by an intensity that makes my breath catch. We're frozen in this moment, the three of us, and I can feel the weight of our shared history pressing down on us like a physical thing.
My shadows curl around our feet, intertwining with Malrik's darker ones, creating intricate patterns on the stone floor. The classroom feels both too small and infinitely vast, as if the rest of the world has fallen away, leaving just us and this crackling tension.
Finn's eyes flick between Malrik and me, something unreadable flickering in their depths. His usual smirk is gone, replaced by a softness I rarely see. Malrik's grip tightens almost imperceptibly, and I find myself leaning into him, drawn by some invisible force.
The silence stretches, filled with the sound of our breathing and the faint whisper of shadows moving against stone. I open my mouth, though I'm not sure what I'm about to say, when a deep, amused voice cuts through the tension like a knife.
"Well, don't let me interrupt. Though if this is turning into some kind of group hug, I'd like to be included."
We all startle, breaking apart as if burned. Torric stands in the doorway, his massive frame filling the space, a wry smile playing at the corners of his mouth. It's so uncharacteristic of him to joke—especially about something like this—that for a moment, I can only stare.
The spell broken, Finn recovers first, his trademark grin sliding back into place. "Torric, my man! Didn't know you had it in you. Come on in, the water's fine."
Malrik mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like a curse, his hands falling away from my arms. The loss of contact leaves me feeling strangely bereft, and I wrap my arms around myself, trying to recapture some of that warmth.
As if on cue, Seren bursts into the room, her lavender hair wild and her arms full of crumpled papers. Her wide eyes and quick movements radiate a frantic energy. "Found something," she announces, dropping the papers onto a nearby desk. "You're not going to believe what our dear friend Darian's been throwing away."
Aspen follows close behind as Seren spreads out torn pages that look like they've been rescued from trash bins. Objects start sliding into place seemingly on their own—Patricia helping, though only Finn, Malrik, and I can see her doing it.
Torric's eyes widen at the moving papers. "Okay, that's creepy. I know your shadows are doing that, but seeing things float around..."
"You get used to it," Aspen says calmly, though he keeps glancing at the spaces where he thinks the shadows might be. He's not quite right—Bob is actually three feet to his left, looking amused.
"Look at this," Seren says, smoothing out a particularly worn page. "These are notes about some kind of ritual. And this symbol keeps showing up." She points to a mark that makes my shadows violently recoil—Bob abandoning his post to surge protectively in front of me, Patricia's usually neat form fragmenting with distress, while Finnick's playful energy turns sharp and defensive. The newer shadows dart behind the older ones, like frightened children seeking shelter.
The temperature in the room plummets as they all press closer to me, their usual fluid movements turned jerky and panicked.
And I just calmed them down. Fantastic.
Malrik and Finn both tense, seeing their violent reaction. The others only notice when several books go flying off the shelves.
"Sorry," I mutter, trying to calm my shadows. "They don't like that symbol."
"They're terrified of it," Malrik says quietly, his eyes tracking their agitated movements. "I've never seen them react like this."
"Maybe because it looks like this," Seren says grimly, flipping through an ancient text she's pulled from her bag. The same symbol appears on a page about binding shadows—trapping them, controlling them. "Looks like our new friend's been studying up on shadow imprisonment."
My shadows cluster around me protectively. Mouse growls, the sound echoing in the suddenly silent room.
"We need a plan," Aspen says, ever practical. "If Darian's researching this kind of magic..."
"We spring his trap," Malrik says immediately, his eyes meeting mine. Without thinking, he reaches out to steady one of my more panicked shadows—something that makes Torric and Aspen exchange confused looks, since to them he's just reaching into empty air.
"While protecting you," Finn adds, dropping his usual humor for fierce determination. Bob moves to stand between us, and Finn absently pats what appears to be empty space to the others.
"Are they doing the shadow thing again?" Torric asks, squinting at the space between us. "Because I swear I just felt something cold move past me."
"That's Bob," Finn says cheerfully. "He's saying hi."
"I don't know why you've named shadows we can't even see," Torric mutters.
"Bob's a perfectly respectable name," Finn protests, while Malrik pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation.
I look around at my unlikely group—the twins with their steady strength despite not fully understanding what they can't see, Seren with her brilliant chaos and acceptance of everything weird, and Finn and Malrik, who see all of me, even the parts I tried to hide. My shadows dance between them all, finally free to show their true nature, at least to those who can see them.
"Okay," I say finally. "But we do this together. No more secrets, right?"
"No more secrets," Malrik agrees, his fingers brushing my wrist where one of my shadows has coiled like a bracelet.
"Except Bob's secret handshake," Finn adds. "That's sacred."
The tension breaks as everyone laughs, even Malrik cracking a smile that takes my breath away. My shadows celebrate by creating increasingly ridiculous shapes that only half the room can see, leading to some very confused looks from Torric when his papers suddenly arrange themselves into what I'm pretty sure is meant to be a rude gesture.
"Did you just?" Finn's eyes light up at Malrik actually giving an order to one of the shadows. "You're giving them orders now?"
"Shut up."
"You love us."
"I will end you."
"Bob, back me up here—"
Their bickering fades into the background as I watch my shadows play between them. Something in my chest loosens, a knot of loneliness finally beginning to unravel.
These men have given me so much already, and they’re willing to stick by me. How did I get so lucky?
Mouse bumps my hand, purring loudly, while Bob creates a triumphant arch over my head that makes Seren squint and mutter something about feeling a cold breeze. I can practically hear Finn naming the newer shadows in the background while Malrik pretends not to care.
We have a professor to confront and a conspiracy to unravel. But for now, in this moment, I let myself feel the warmth of belonging.
Even if that belonging comes with incredibly nosy shadows and two men who are going to drive me crazy.
"Bob, no encouragement," I mutter as the shadow tries to push me toward them again.
But I'm smiling as I say it.