Shattered and Saved (Ashen Wolves #2)

20

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A V R I L

Shifters weren’t supposed to stay indoors too long. Our wild animal side craved freedom, thus making it an insufferable experience to be in enclosed spaces for an extensive timeframe. Yet, when my liberty posed a threat to the person I dreaded hurting most, what other choice did I have?

My expansive chambers had never felt this cramped. At times, it seemed as though the walls were closing down on me. It was suffocating. Maddening. But enduring the torture was more bearable than imagining what I could do if I dared leave my room.

Kea was also disquietingly on edge. Through our shared thoughts and feelings, I could sense her mood swings. One moment, she was ashamed of the anger she had felt toward our former mate. She would apologize and whimper regretfully. A minute later, she would blame him for turning our life upside down, cursing him just like she used to do before he thawed out our frozen heart. Sometimes, I was so affected by her emotions I wondered if they were my own.

Alone and haunted by the terrors in my mind, I tried to stay calm by researching any information I could find on dark magic, curses, and plagues - anything that might shed light on the problem we were facing. Since the books detailing my kind and our history had failed to offer any useful insight, I was even willing to consider the possibility of divine intervention.

I just prayed I could find a solution before I was too far gone.

After spending the night awake, afraid I wouldn’t be myself when I woke up if I let my guard down, I was finishing yet another book in my concerningly diminishing collection when my delta’s voice echoed in my head. “ Alpha ,” she called. “ Don’t get your hopes up yet, but I might have good news. ”

Honestly, I didn’t even remember the meaning of the word hope at this point.

“ Shoot, ” I replied emotionlessly.

“ We’re right outside the door. Open up, ” Rhea asked, making me tense up.

“ Who’s we?” I asked, but I found the answer myself after drawing in a deep breath. Koen’s scent was unmistakable. Panic surged through me. “He shouldn’t be here, Rhea!” I snapped. “Tell me what you need to tell me and leave!”

“I’m afraid what I have for you can’t be delivered through mindlink,” she insisted, her defiance already getting on my nerves before another voice sounded.

This time, out loud.

“Avril, please listen to me,” Koen pleaded from the other side. My breath hitched when Kea raised her hackles, alert; wary. “We have something to show you. Something that might fix all of this.”

I backed away into a corner, inhaling and exhaling in a desperate attempt to keep my volatile rage at bay. It was the first time Koen spoke to me since I almost hurt him yesterday. I couldn’t risk losing control near him again. Shit, for all I knew, I could even end up hurting Rhea. But I also knew that I wouldn’t succeed in sending them off, and the longer they stuck around, the higher the chances of senseless anger consuming me again. There was no way the wooden wall separating us would keep Kea contained if she managed to take over.

“Fine. Rhea can come in,” I gave in at last. Taking a few more breaths, I let them know, “I’ll unlock the door and step back.”

With shaking hands, I turned the lock and rushed back to the corner, keeping a safe distance from the door. Rhea waited a few seconds before slowly cracking it open, and my heart rate spiked up. Don’t lose it, get a grip, stay calm, I repeated to myself over and over again as I watched her take a couple careful steps in.

Once inside, she stood still. “Want to murder me yet?” she joked.

“If you don’t get straight to the point, I might,” I half-complained, half-warned.

“Alright, check this out,” she said simply, tossing something at me.

Thanks to my heightened reflexes, I managed to catch it despite the surprise. When I opened my fist, I found a rough, hastily assembled band, crafted primarily from thick strips of bark tied together with coarse hemp rope and thin iron rings. Small, uneven chunks of some black gemstone were woven into the rustic bracelet.

When I shot Rhea a questioning glance, Rhea explained, “Vereya made this bracelet using rowan bark, iron, and black tourmaline. It’s supposed to suppress our powers.”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Why would I want to do that?”

To say that I was confused was an understatement. After years dreaming of recovering the sacred ashes of the original banyan to restore our powers to its fullest, I couldn’t understand why I would want to suppress them again. I couldn’t see how that could possibly help. In fact, her suggestion was revolting.

“Just put it on. I’ll explain everything if it works,” she urged.

I frowned at the object, but then remembered my vow to do anything and everything to save my pack from this plague. Even if I was still uncertain, my trust in Rhea was enough to convince me to try it.

As I slid the bracelet onto my wrist, an eerie sensation forced a shallow gasp out of me. The wild energy pulsing through my veins, igniting every single nerve in my body, suddenly died down. It was a little dispiriting to feel the raging inferno that set me alight slowly shrink. Although the heat was still there, it was now a steady flame instead of a wildfire, pulsing under the surface like a caged storm, but… it no longer threatened to overwhelm me.

Shortly after, I sensed Kea gradually calm down. The tornado of emotions emanating from her, strong enough to blur my judgment, stopped raging. As the agitation that had gripped her subsided, she became peaceful for the first time in a while.

My mind went blank as I drew in deep breaths, focusing solely on my state of mind. Was the rage truly gone, or was it just lurking beneath the surface, waiting for a moment of weakness to break free?

The answer became clear the second Koen stepped into my room.

“Did it work?” he asked, hopeful.

When our eyes locked, my inner peace intensified. At first, I was afraid, bracing myself for the moment it would suddenly shatter. Yet, it never came. Instead of barking about how our former mate had messed up our life, she wagged her tail slightly, basking in the comfort those serene emeralds always brought us.

“I guess,” I finally replied, allowing a half-smile to appear through the shock and fear. “How?”

Rhea and Koen exchanged a quick glance before my delta explained, “Koen suggested that maybe the pack members were lashing out due to the return of our powers. Considering your reaction, it seems he was right.”

My eyes darted back to Koen, a mix of surprise and confusion washing over me. I still needed to get the story straight, but what struck me most was finally having an answer to the mystery that had haunted me for days. Along with the relief came a pinch of guilt as I acknowledged the truth.

Not only was Koen’s presence unrelated to the problem, but he was also the one who had solved it.

I decided to stay in my room with Rhea and Koen for another hour to ensure I had truly regained control of my emotions. Meanwhile, they explained in detail how they had reached their hypothesis. I was shocked to learn that the answer was much simpler than I had imagined. The outbursts weren’t some kind of divine punishment but the consequence of unleashing our full power while balance remained lost.

As Koen explained his reasoning, it seemed so obvious that I felt stupid. Yet, at the same time, I understood why neither I nor any of my friends had seen it. It was hard to admit - or even consider - that the solution to our problem could be the very powers we had dreamed of restoring for so long. If it hadn’t been for him, the only outsider able to provide an unbiased perspective, we might have succumbed to our own greed.

Once I was confident I wouldn’t lose my grip again, the three of us returned to Vereya, who promptly used all of her materials to make more bracelets. They were primarily made from the bark of Rowan trees and iron - both known to ward off magic. Black tourmaline was also added to absorb negative emotions and help us stay in control of ourselves.

With her stock, our shaman managed to make almost twenty bracelets. I distributed them among my team and pack members who had already faced at least one violent episode, appointing a group to head to the city and get the necessary materials so Vereya could make more amulets for the rest of Azure Smoke. As the sun set on the horizon, I was overjoyed to see the town square bursting with life again.

We all gathered around the Banyan, where I gave a speech about what we had learned. It sure would be tough adjusting to having our powers restrained again, but the pack understood it was a vital sacrifice. If we ever needed to be at full strength, we could simply remove our bracelets, but the shaman advised us not to keep it off for too long.

As the pack members started dispersing after my announcement, I approached my delta. Since I brought Koen into our home, I never told her the truth about why I had done it. Still, she was kind to him. She looked after him when I couldn’t, and she believed in him when everyone else blamed him. The least I could do was thank her.

“I’m glad you didn’t lose yourself a single time during this mess,” I added sincerely. “I don’t know how you managed to stick to your sanity, but if it weren’t for you, we’d all be screwed.”

A faint smile played on her lips. “When the lycans ceased to exist, we lost our purpose.” She made a brief pause. “But our loyalty remained.” Lowering her head in a sign of respect and submission, she continued, “I am loyal to you, Avril. I trust you will bring greatness to our kind again. And if you think Koen is an essential part in this, I will treat him as such.”

Her words touched me deeply. As I was losing my mind, I also feared losing my pack. When the rumors started, I worried they would blame me and turn their backs on me. Perhaps I hadn’t fully healed from years of being treated as unworthy by Whispering Hills, but they were gone now, and I needed to let go of the scars they had inflicted. It was time to believe Kea and trust that my pack’s loyalty to me ran deeper than blood or status.

“Thank you, Rhea,” I told her sincerely. She bobbed her head at me before excusing herself, and my eyes instinctively searched for someone else in the dissipating crowd.

I still needed to talk to Koen after everything I had said to him.