Chapter Twenty-Nine
Brigid
I clutch my dinner—a can of soda, a bag of chips, and a candy bar—as I slip out of the dining hall. I can ’ t stop replaying the horrors of the day in my mind. I just want to go back to my room, eat something, and crash into oblivion.
The mood in the dining hall is a strange mix of celebration and somberness. I didn ’ t really know any of the students who didn ’ t make it, not very well, but it still makes me sad to think about. I ’ m sure there ’ s trauma to process down the road—you don ’ t see someone smashed on the ground in front of you and come out the other side without some amount of damage, I ’ m sure.
Right now I don ’ t feel it. Maybe I ’ m still riding the adrenaline from earlier, or it could be because I ’ m not out of the woods yet—there are still two more deadly challenges to get through.
But not tonight. Tonight is for going to bed, eating chips and chocolate, and trying to escape for a few hours in a book. I miss my smut books, but Eira managed to find me a fae book in the library that reads like a cross between Macbeth and Victorian porn. It will be enough to escape for a little while.
I ’ ve almost made it to the doors when Laria ’ s voice slices through the clatter and conversation. “ Those losers who didn ’ t make it? They never deserved to be here, anyway.”
Anger bubbles up like lava. How dare she? The faces of those who didn ’ t survive will be burned in my memory forever—their terror, their desperation in their final moments. If it hadn ’ t been for Nester, I ’ d be one of the so-called losers that Laria is running her mouth about now.
Her tall, slender form stands out among the crowd, that smug smile plastered on her face. God, I want to wipe it off so badly.
A nearby student gives me a wary look, inching away. I force my features to relax, but the fury still simmers beneath the surface. I have to get out of here and away from Laria before I do or say something I ’ ll regret, so I quicken my pace and head out into the hall.
“ Oof!” The impact knocks the breath from my lungs. My snacks go flying as I stumble backward, bracing for a fall that doesn ’ t come. Strong hands grip my shoulders, steadying me.
I look up, ready to mumble an apology, when my eyes lock with a familiar hazel gaze. Lochan. Fuck.
His eyes widen, surprise flashing across his usually stoic features. For a moment, we ’ re frozen, the tension between us so thick you could slice it.
“ I—” I start, but the words die in my throat. What the hell do I say to the guy who ’ s supposed to be my fated mate, but acts like I ’ m carrying the plague?
Lochan ’ s grip on my shoulders loosens, but he doesn ’ t step back. His gaze flicks to the scattered junk food on the floor, then back to me. A muscle in his jaw moves.
“ In a rush?” he asks.
I nod, willing my heart to slow its frantic beating. “ Just need to get back to my room. It ’ s been a long day.”
Lochan ’ s eyes narrow, and I brace myself for the usual cold dismissal. But something shifts in his expression.
“ I ’ m glad you made it.” He ’ s staring at me now, his eyes probing.
The sincerity in his tone is unexpected, and it catches me off guard. Where ’ s the aloof asshole who can barely stand to look at me?
“ Uh, thanks?” I manage. I ’ m not sure what else to say. “ I ’ m glad that you ’ re not happy I ’ m dead.”
He frowns. “ I would never be happy about that, Brigid.”A crease appears between his eyebrows. “ Why would you think that?”
Is he serious? “ You haven ’ t exactly been the welcome committee since I ’ ve gotten here.”
We stand there, frozen in this very weird moment. His hands are still on my shoulders. Part of me wants to lean into his touch, to see what would happen. To see if it would be like that night. The rest of me screams to run, to not let my guard down. Look what happened the last time I did that.
Lochan ’ s gaze softens further, and for a nanosecond, I see a glimpse of the man behind the armor.
“ You should eat better,” he mumbles, glancing at the fallen snacks again.
“ I ’ ll eat what I want.” I bridle. Where was that concern for me the other night?
His face hardens, that familiar wall slamming back into place. “ Junk food won ’ t help you survive here. You need real food. With actual nutrition.”
I snatch up my fallen snacks, clutching them to my chest like a shield. “ I don ’ t need your approval on my dietary choices, Lochan. What I need is for you to back off.”
“ You ’ re being silly,” he growls, frustration evident in the tightening of his jaw. “ After what you ’ ve been through today—”
“ Don ’ t.” I cut him off, my voice sharp. “ Don ’ t pretend you care now. We both know better.”
His eyes flash with what could be hurt or anger. I can ’ t tell, and I don ’ t want to care.
“ We can ’ t do—” I whisper, glancing around the empty hallway. “—whatever this is. Have you forgotten? You guys are not supposed to be seen with me.”
“ I haven ’ t forgotten anything,” Lochan snaps. “ But your well-being matters too.”
I laugh, and it ’ s a bitter sound to my ears. “ Since when?”
He doesn ’ t answer, just stares at me. I feel naked. Like he can see right through the walls I ’ m building higher and higher.
His gaze is disconcerting, and I feel my anger rising to mask my discomfort. Lochan takes a step closer, his voice dropping to a low rumble.
“ Listen to me, Brigid. If you don ’ t start taking better care of yourself, you ’ ll answer to me. Understood?”
The authoritative tone in his voice makes my back stiffen. Who the fuck does he think he is?
My hand darts into my bag. I yank out an orange, brandishing it in his face.
“ There. Happy now?”I tuck the orange back in the bag.
Lochan ’ s eyes narrow, a muscle twitching.
“ Brigid,” Lochan warns, his voice a low growl that sends shivers down my spine. “ Don ’ t test me.”
I arch an eyebrow, defiance surging through me. “ Or what?”
His eyes tighten, and he takes another step closer. We ’ re toe to toe now, the heat from his body apparent against mine. His gaze drops to my lips, then slowly trails back up to meet my eyes.
“ You really want to find out?”
Part of me wants to step back, to put some distance between us. But a larger part wants to lean in, to push boundaries, to fuck around and find out.
Lochan ’ s hand comes up, his fingers lightly tracing along my jaw. It ’ s the barest whisper of a touch, but it sets my skin aflame.
“ I could show you exactly what happens to when you don ’ t listen to me,” he says, his words laced with a promise and a threat.
In an instant, Lochan closes the distance between us, backing me against the wall. His hand comes up to rest beside my head, effectively caging me in.
“ You have no idea what I ’ m capable of,” he murmurs, his lips inches from my ear.
“ Maybe you ’ re the one who doesn ’ t know what I ’ m capable of,” I whisper back, tilting my chin up in challenge.
He smiles. “ There.”
“ There, what?”
“ There you are.”
We stand there, our eyes locked on each other, for what feels like ages, until the sound of footsteps approaching catches our attention. Lochan steps back.
I take the opportunity to duck under his arm and run back to my room, putting some much-needed distance between us.