Shattered Vows (Midnight Manor Book 2)

Chapter 19

Nineteen

Isqueeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose, willing the image of Rapsody covered in blood to leave my brain. It’s been on repeat for days now, ever since I found her in the conservatory, blood dripping down her face onto her shirt.

I’ve seen a lot of shit. Enough shit that a small cut on a head shouldn’t have been so alarming, but the image is haunting me. Which is why I’ve been avoiding her. Which is fucking stupid since I’m trying to woo her into loving me again. Kind of impossible to do when I’m keeping my distance.

If I’m really honest with myself, it’s also because of what happened at the pond and how much it affected me. Watching Rapsody fall apart courtesy of my fingers, knowing I was the one responsible and that no one else had ever come before me—fuck, that was enough to almost have me busting a nut in my shorts.

Sweet, innocent Rapsody has a naughty side, and now that I’ve discovered it, it’s impossible to ignore. Every time she’s looked at me since our encounter, it’s there on her face—she’s craving more. She’s hungry for me to show her all the ways I can bring her pleasure—which should be fine, it’s part of the plan.

What is not part of the plan is me relishing the opportunity. Me being thirsty as well.

I blow out a breath and shut the laptop on my desk, slumping back in my chair with a sigh. I need to decide what I’m doing, and whether this plan is feasible anymore.

Can I make Rapsody love me without falling for her myself? Do I even want to still?

I think back to where this all started… me waiting on the steps of city hall, taking in every pedestrian on the street, sure that she was around the corner, and it would be like the parting of the sea for Moses. The woman I knew could save me from myself would be there to commit her life to me and mine to her, and it didn’t matter what had happened in the past, what I had done. If someone like Rapsody could love me, then I must be worth loving.

But the minutes ticked by, first one, then five, then fifteen. By the time an hour had passed, my stomach was on the concrete, and my heart had gone eight rounds against the heavyweight champion in the ring. It was a beat-up, pulpy mess. Devastation is too weak a word to describe how I felt when I knew that Rapsody didn’t want to marry me anymore.

I shouldn’t have been surprised, I guess. Everyone who has supposedly loved me has left, one way or another.

Anger rises to the forefront as it always does when I think about all the people who have let me down over my lifetime.

Yes, I can do this. I can show Rapsody what it feels like when someone plays with your emotions without thinking of the consequences.

With that thought in mind, I push back from my desk and leave my bedroom. When I knock on Rapsody’s door, there’s no answer. Frowning, I continue down the hallway until I reach the communal part of the manor.

I quickly check the conservatory, but I don’t find her there. I take a moment to admire the painting she’s working on of a night sky, moonlight bathing the world below.

Continuing on my quest, I decide to check the kitchen. It’s always alive with activity. Surely someone there might know where I can find her.

Halfway to my destination, I come across Marcel speaking with his partner, Finn, in the hallway. When they notice my footsteps, they take a step back from each other. They must think they’re being stealthy and none of us know they’re a couple.

“Where’s Rapsody?” I don’t bother with pleasantries.

Marcel turns to face me, chin up. “I saw her leave the manor a few minutes ago.”

“Where was she heading?”

“I’m not sure, sir, but she went out the door closest to the maze.” He motions in the general direction.

The maze. Just fucking great.

I don’t say anything as I move past them, hurrying to catch up to her. I have no idea if she’s planning on going into the maze, but if I don’t beat her there before she goes in, my plan for the day will be a bust. Having to spend time there during Asher and Anabelle’s wedding ceremony was bad enough. If I ever have to go in there again, it will be too soon.

A couple of minutes later, I step outside and find her standing at the entrance to the maze.

“Rapsody,” I call, jogging over to her.

She looks at me over her shoulder and smiles.

God, that fucking smile could light up the sky if the sun weren’t already out.

“What are you doing?” I ask when I reach her.

She motions to the maze. “I was thinking of going in to check it out, but when I got here, I was worried I might not be able to find my way out.”

I swallow.

“Do you want to go in with me? You must know your way around. You were probably in here a million times when you were a kid.”

The blood drains from my face as a cold sweat breaks out on my forehead.

Rapsody steps toward me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah… I…” My gaze goes over her shoulder to the maze and the twelve-foot hedges that feel as though they’re towering over us.

All of those memories from my childhood assault me at once, like bullets ripping through my calm demeanor. When Rapsody takes my hand, the frenzy of thoughts calm so they’re not so overwhelming.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” She squeezes my hand.

“Yeah. I came to find you to see if you want to go to the pond with me.”

She looks over her shoulder at the maze then back at me. “Let’s go.”

We walk in silence for a while, which is good. It gives me time to put myself back together. I avoid that fucking maze whenever possible because it’s a damn trigger. Asher offered to cut it down for me at least a decade ago, but my mom’s prized rose bush is in the middle, so I didn’t have it in me to say yes. It would have felt like severing a tie to her.

Rapsody seems to be in tune with the fact that I need to get my shit together and doesn’t speak until the pond comes into view.

“How come you wanted to come here?” she asks as we walk down the slope toward the water.

She’s in front of me, and I pull her to a stop by taking her hand. “I thought of another experience you could have. Something I doubt you’ve ever done before.”

A spark lights in her emerald eyes, as sure as if I’d struck a match. “What is it?”

“Skinny dipping.”

She blinks a few times then laughs. “Are you serious?”

“Totally.” I walk past her, stripping off my shirt and letting it fall to the grass. Then I toe off my shoes.

“What if someone else comes?”

I turn to face her and find her looking back the way we came. “No one is going to bother us.”

She turns back around and looks at me as I’m sliding off my shorts, revealing my black boxer briefs. “But Nero was here just last week.”

I shrug then turn around. “He was here with me. This is my spot, not his.” Then I push down my boxer briefs while I walk, stepping out of them when they fall to my ankles.

Since I’m not facing her, I can’t be sure, but I’d bet money on the fact that she’s checking out my ass right now. The water is a little chilly when I step into it, but nothing terrible.

Once I’m in it to my waist, I turn and face her. “Come on. It’s refreshing.”

She chews on her bottom lip, looking unsure. “My hair will be a rat’s nest if I go in there.”

I tilt my head and give her an incredulous look since her hair is pulled back in its usual thick braid.

“It’s true! You have no idea what kind of maintenance is involved with hair this long.”

I don’t doubt it for a second. “Come on! You wanted new experiences. If you want, I’ll turn around while you get in.”

She looks over her shoulder one last time then back at me. “All right, fine. Turn around.”

Thank god my dick is underwater so she can’t see how fast it salutes her decision.