Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
“Come here.” My voice is soft, and I reach for him.
He takes my hand, and I pull him down, wordlessly asking him to cover me. He does, and the weight of his delicious body pressing against mine feels perfect. This is how it was always meant to be. We just got lost for a little bit.
He brings his mouth to mine with a slow, sensual sweep of his tongue, and I sink into the kiss. There’s so much emotion in this kiss. So much we’re not saying with words, but I feel.
I pull away and frame his face in my hands. “I want you to make love to me, Kol. I want to know what it feels like to have you inside me, to be joined with you.”
His eyes flash with some emotion I can’t quite place, almost like a mixture of fear and acceptance. But it’s gone in an instant, then he’s trailing his nose down my body, slowly undressing me and kissing each new piece of skin he bares.
My hand goes to the back of his head when he closes his mouth around my nipple, tugging gently with his teeth. Each pull from his lips tugs on my core.
“Please don’t make me wait any longer,” I whisper.
He raises his head, looking at me with a warmth in his eyes I haven’t seen in four years. He dips his head and brings his lips to mine. Kol kisses me as though I’m the air he breathes and uses his knees to spread my legs wider, settling between them.
I feel how hard he is and nearly cry out when he pushes up off of me, the muscles in his chest and arms flexing, and sits back on his haunches. But I relax when his hands move to the waistband of his pants, and he unfastens them, straightening to get them to his knees, then hovers over me again, using his feet to pull the pants all the way off.
“You’re sure?” he asks before settling between my legs again with the firm press of his rigid length.
I brush my hand over some of the bristle he’s grown over the last couple of days on his face. “You know I am. Please, Kol.”
A soft smile transforms the severe lines of his face. “How could I ever say no when you beg?”
Bracing himself on one arm, he slides his fingers between my folds, finding me wet and ready. When he grabs the base of his erection to line it up with my opening, I get a little nervous for the first time since we arrived in his room.
I’m really going to do this. We’re going to do this.
I look down the line of my body and watch as he pushes into me, notching the head into my entrance. He’s so large that he’s stretching me even though he’s barely inside. He must know because he leans down and kisses me until I forget the discomfort.
“You ready for more?” he asks.
I nod. He flexes his hips again, pushing inside me another inch and halting so that I get used to him. And so it goes for several minutes until we both feel him reach the barrier.
“This will hurt.” Kol’s voice sounds as if it’s going to hurt him more than me. “Ready?”
I suck in a deep breath and nod, trying to brace myself.
“Just try to stay relaxed.” He kisses my forehead at the same time as he pushes inside me, and I gasp at the burning pain, tears welling. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”
He kisses me again. It takes a minute for the pain to lessen, and I let myself relax and enjoy the kiss.
“You okay?” he asks when he pulls away.
“I think so.”
He pushes a little farther, waits for me to get used to his size, and repeats the process until he’s fully seated inside me. It’s a foreign sensation, the way he’s filling and stretching me. At first, it’s uncomfortable, but as my body grows used to him, I settle into the feeling.
Kol pulls back slowly before pushing in the same way. He does this a few times, and each time it feels better and better until I grip his shoulders and pull him down to kiss me.
“More,” I murmur against his lips.
He increases his pace as I moan into his mouth. He pulls away from our kiss and buries his face in my neck. “Holy fuck, sweetheart. You’re like a fucking vise.”
That makes me smile. I want him to move even more. I need him to. When I wiggle my hips, he gets the message and slides out of me, then pushes back in with some force this time.
Oh. My. God.
There’s a bit of discomfort, but every single one of my nerve endings is singing hallelujah. After a few more thrusts, the discomfort disappears all together and absolute euphoria passes through me.
One look at Kol’s rigid jaw above me, and I can tell he’s still holding back, and I don’t want him to. I may be a virgin, but I’m not a porcelain doll.
“More, Kol.”
He increases his tempo and holds himself inside me for a beat before he drags himself back out. I grow slicker around him. The sound it makes where our bodies join is vulgar and erotic, ratcheting my desire higher.
He stares into my eyes the entire time. I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to. It’s as if a tether is connecting his gaze to mine, and it rocks me because I see a depth of feeling in his eyes I wasn’t sure he could ever feel for me again.
Within minutes, he’s no longer holding back. The first flutters of my climax deepen in my womb, and Kol’s must be close too because he brings his one hand between us and strokes my clit. My back arches, and my breathing picks up while Kol watches me, almost studying my reaction. The sensation rises, rises, and rises until there’s no way for me to hold off.
My orgasm hits me like a rolling tide, and I scream out, fingertips pushing into Kol’s skin.
“Oh fuck, I can feel you coming. I’m gonna…” His voice is rough and shakes as he spills inside me.
He holds himself there, tucking his face into my neck again and breathing me in. He twitches inside me with the last traces of his orgasm. Then he pulls out of me, rolling off to my side.
I immediately miss the feeling of him between my legs. He pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me, saying nothing. Though I want this moment to last forever, it’s not long until the steady tempo of his heart lulls me to sleep.
I don’t know how long I drift off for, but I wake up wrapped in Kol’s arms.
His hand lazily coasts down my arm. “How are you feeling?”
I tilt my head up to look at him. “A little tender, but okay.” I position myself on my elbow so I’m looking down at him, tracing a fingertip down his chest. “I liked it. The parts that didn’t hurt anyway. I’m guessing it gets better from here.”
Amusement flicks in his eyes. “It does. But plenty of time for that. You need to heal, so it’ll be at least a few days before I’m bending you over and taking you from behind.”
Kol’s words make my insides clench.
His face grows serious. “How do you feel about what we did downstairs?”
“I want to do that again too.”
A small smile lifts his lips. “You do?”
I nod. “I wasn’t sure whether I would like it or not, but it turned me on to have all those people watching. To know that they were turned on because of me… us.” My cheeks heat at the word us, though I don’t know why after everything we’ve just done.
“Guess I’ll have to think of something for us to do next month then.” He groans and rubs the top of his head with his palm, looking at the ceiling. “Fuck.”
I frown. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to be preoccupied with this for the next month, picturing all the things I could do to you.”
My anxiety eases. “Just know that I’m a willing participant.”
Without warning, he rolls us so he’s over me again, and I yelp. “Good… we’re going to have a lot of fun checking things off the list.”
I stare into his eyes, smiling, but at the same time, I’m wondering if that’s all this is for him…fun. Because I know it’s not for me, even if it might have started that way. The way I’ve been feeling for him lately… no. I force myself to stop those thoughts right where they are. I’m not going to ruin this moment.
“Can’t wait.” I run my hand up his arm with the lion tattoo, for the first time studying it up close. “Why did you decide to get a lion tattoo?”
My question is innocent enough, but when pain flashes on his face, and he rolls off of me to lie at my side, I know I’ve stepped into unwelcome territory. Sometimes talking to him feels like walking through a minefield, but damn do I want to diffuse each one.
At first, I don’t think he’s going to answer me. But then he sighs and speaks. “My mom used to call me her little lion.” He gives me a sad smile.
“How come?” Maybe I shouldn’t pry further.
“She always said I had too much pride, but that I had a lot of courage and wanted to protect the people I cared about. That I always wanted to be the dominant one of my brothers when we were all together, even if I wasn’t the oldest. Growing up, I kept my hair long and she always used to say it reminded her of a lion’s mane because of how thick it was.” A bemused little laugh leaves his lips.
“Look at you now.” I run my hand over his shaved head.
He takes my hand and kisses my palm. “That’s why I joined the military—because of everything she said, I figured I would be suited to that kind of life and because I thought it would make her proud. Well, that and to get away from Midnight Manor and all the memories here.”
My chest squeezes at the reminder of everything he went through as a child.
“But now you’re back,” I say softly.
He nods. “Now I’m back.” Kol appears deep in his thoughts for several moments before he speaks again, almost as though he’s trying to decide whether he wants to tell me. “It was time to stop running. To come home and take my role at Voss Enterprises. Asher had been asking me to for years, and by the time I met you, I finally felt ready.”
“Well, I’m glad you did.” If he hadn’t, we might not have met, and I wouldn’t be here with this amazing, if complicated, man.
Kol places a chaste kiss on my forehead. “Why don’t we go take a bath? It might help with the discomfort.”
“Ohh, that sounds nice.”
Ten minutes later, Kol stands beside the large soaker tub, holding my hand and helping me step into the warm water. I sigh as I sink down into it, and the water cocoons my body like a warm blanket. Kol slides in behind me and immediately reaches for my long braid, removing the elastic from the bottom to unravel my braid.
I don’t mind—in fact, this ponytail is so heavy on top of my head that taking it out will be a blessing—but having my hair in the water means I’m going to have to wash it and then painstakingly brush it so that it doesn’t become a nest birds can live in.
“How would you feel if I cut my hair?”
Kol stills in his unraveling of my braid. “It’s your hair to do what you want with.”
“Sure but… would you still…” I don’t know how to voice my insecurities without feeling like an idiot.
Kol drops my braid and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly and bringing his mouth to my ear. “Would I still think you’re as beautiful and sexy as I do now? Damn straight. No haircut is going to change that, sweetheart.”
The tension in my body eases, and I relax back into him. “I think I might then. Maybe Anabelle knows someone who can do it.”
“Let me guess, your mother didn’t want you to cut it.”
I shrug, for some reason feeling a little defensive of my mother even though he’s right. “I guess. She didn’t want me to cut it, but I grew to like it the longer it got, and I didn’t really fight back when I’d suggest cutting it, and she’d complain.”
We’re quiet for a few minutes, in our own thoughts and content to enjoy the warmth from the bath seeping into our bones.
“I was wondering something,” Kol says, breaking the silence. “Why did your mom start letting you go to church? When we met, it was pretty clear she didn’t let you leave the house except to see a doctor or dentist, things like that, so what changed?”
Out of all the questions, I didn’t think this would be one. We briefly talked about it before.
“After I got my first taste of freedom when she was in the hospital, it was hard to go back to the way it was before. I tried to fall in line, but I’d already seen more of the world in the month she was in the hospital than I had my whole life, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I begged and begged for her blessing to let me leave the house and do some things, but she wouldn’t budge. Said it was too dangerous, and my relationship with you was proof that I wasn’t a good judge of character.”
Kol runs his hand up and down my arm from my shoulder to my elbow as though he can tell how uncomfortable I am reliving this.
“One day I saw a commercial on TV for one of those at-home DNA tests, and I asked her if she’d consider letting me get one. I thought maybe I could find some third cousin or something and try to connect with them, but she refused. We got in a huge fight—probably the biggest one we’d ever had, and I threatened to leave. Shortly after, she agreed that I could go to church. Up until then, I didn’t know anything about religion, but it didn’t matter. She could have offered to let me go wash dishes in a restaurant, and I would have said yes.”
Kol chuckles behind me then grows quiet. “Do you miss him?”
I know who he’s asking about. I turn in his arms and look at him over my shoulder, holding his gaze. “No.”
He nods, and I think he believes me.
“Though I probably should reach out to him. I owe him an explanation.” When he opens his mouth to say something, I add, “Not the real one, but just to let him know that I never should have said yes in the first place.”
His jaw flexes, as does his hand on my arm. He clearly wants to tell me no, there’s no reason for me to speak to Alistair, but he seems to get that impulse under control and nods.
I turn back around and wiggle a bit so I can lean into him. “You asked me if I enjoyed everything we did tonight, but did you?”
“That’s not even a question, Rapsody.”
I roll my eyes. “Obviously, I know you enjoyed it to a certain extent, but was it everything you wanted it to be?”
He chuckles, squeezing me in his arms and pulling my ass back into his lap. “I think you can feel how much I enjoyed it. Just you bringing it up has me rock hard again.”
I wiggle against his erection, smiling at the mild buzzing sensation that starts between my legs. “Maybe we can?—”
“Nope.” He eases me forward and stands in the tub before stepping out. “You need a break. I’m going to take a cold shower.”
I laugh and watch the muscles in his perfect ass flex as he walks over to the shower. I lean back and close my eyes, anxious for the days to pass so we can do it again.
Maybe I am a nympho.