Shattered Vows (Midnight Manor Book 2)

Chapter 31

Thirty-One

I’ve never felt this possessive in all of my life.

Yes, I’ve fucked other partners in front of everyone before, and I get a certain kind of high from knowing they all want what I have. But those partners are free to do what they want with whoever once I’m done with them.

The same doesn’t go for Rapsody.

I will never share her. Anyone who tries to take her from me will end up six feet under.

It’s almost comical to think that at one point, all I wanted to do was push Rapsody away and make her feel as much pain as I did. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Standing here with all these spectators at my back, all I want is to prove to everyone that she belongs to me. Mark her, possess her, and dominate her.

I loosen the straps across her upper back so that she’s lying parallel with the floor and let my greedy gaze take in her perfect body.

Mineis the only word that comes to mind as I slowly feed my cock into her needy pussy. She whimpers as though she can’t handle how good it feels. I hold her waist to keep her in place as I pull out slowly, then slam inside her. Her tits jiggle with every thrust of my hips, and I lick my lips, wishing I could wrap my lips around her pert nipples.

Rapsody’s tight pussy clenches around me when I switch up my angle. I gaze down at the two small cuts on her inner thighs, and my balls tighten.

I still can’t believe how much she trusted me. I thought for sure when she saw the knife she’d refuse, but of course she didn’t. Because she’s just so damn perfect for me.

All these people at my back, watching us, wishing they were me can go fuck themselves because there will never be another man between this woman’s thighs. At the idea of how jealous all those motherfuckers are, pride swells in my chest, and my thrusts grow sharper and more staccato.

“You.” Thrust. “Are.” Thrust. “Mine.” Thrust.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Rapsody flicks her head back and forth, as if she doesn’t know what to do with the pleasure coursing through her body.

I feel like a predator gazing down at her. The need to own her is a primal part of me that can’t be denied. I spear into her like an animal, and she accepts me, wanting everything I’m giving her.

Tingling starts at the base of my spine, starting a debate inside me as to whether I want to spill my seed inside her or all over the outside of her pussy like a branding.

I bring my thumb to her swollen clit, and she goes off, her pussy clenching around my steel length. The choice is made—I’m going to paint her insides.

With a roar, I come, holding myself inside her until she’s milked every drop of me, and I have nothing more to give.

I hold her hips, both of us heaving for breath.

I help Rapsody up out of the swing and don’t let go of her waist until she’s solid on her feet, then I slip the fabric of her dress back over her tits before I put my own pants back on.

Taking her hand, I turn to make our way to the door. Everyone has left because they all know the deal—they don’t get to mess around in my private room unless they’re invited.

I lead Rapsody through the door, then I let go of her hand so I can lock it before slipping the key back in my pocket. When I turn to take her hand again, I spot one of the guys who was in the room approaching.

“Fuck off.” I grab Rapsody’s hand and tug her toward the private staircase back into the manor.

I did that guy a favor not letting him speak whatever words he intended. I’m pretty sure they were going to be something along the lines of “can I have a turn with Rapsody?” and if he’d said them aloud, I might have killed him.

When we make it back to my bedroom suite, I head into the en suite and turn on the shower. Rapsody didn’t say a word on the walk through the manor, and it dawns on me that maybe she regrets what we did—the bloodplay, fucking in front of others, all of it perhaps.

“Undress and get in the shower. When you’re done, I’ll put some antiseptic ointment on your cuts and bandage them. I’ll be right back.”

I step out of the bathroom so I can gather myself.

I wouldn’t blame her if she regrets it. Maybe I’ve done her a disservice by introducing someone as pure and so full of light to the depravity that courses through my veins.

I’m not a good man. The things I’ve done—some in the name of my country and some in the name of family… could she love me again if she knew what I’m capable of? If she knew what I’ve been keeping from her for my own selfish reasons?

I run my palm over my shaved head and blow out a long, steady stream of air. There’s only one way to know for sure.

Right after the shower,Rapsody fell into a deep slumber in my bed. When she woke up this morning, she seemed her usual self. Maybe I misunderstood her quiet, and she was only tired. It’s not inconceivable. What we did would take a lot out of anyone, especially someone as inexperienced as her. I’ll keep an eye out the next couple of days to make sure she doesn’t show signs of sub drop.

No matter. I’ve made the decision to tell her my greatest sins. Depending on how that goes, I may confess the information I’ve been keeping from her.

And if she runs scared when I tell her the things I’ve done?

Adapt and overcome.

That was the greatest lesson the military ever taught me, and it’s exactly what I’ll do. Because I’m not letting her go.

We spent the day in bed, having all our meals brought to us, then shortly before the sun began to set, I forced Rapsody out of bed and told her to get dressed. She joins me in the bedroom wearing a green romper with short sleeves that shows off her long, lean legs. The color is a close match to the green of her eyes.

“So what are we doing?” she asks.

I shove down my nerves, the same way I used to do before going on a mission, and take her hand. “I have a surprise I think you’ll like.”

Her face lights up as it always does at the prospect of experiencing something new.

I lead her out of the manor and onto the grounds. The sun has almost set now, but there’s enough light for us to make our way. A low-hanging fog swirls at our feet as we step over the grass.

Eventually we reach the pond. The lone light by the small dock has been turned off at my request. There’s also a rowboat in the water, tied to the dock.

Seeing the boat reminds me of my mother, and as always when I think of her, my mind flashes to the last time I saw her—gardening shears lodged in her chest and her dead eyes staring toward the sky.

I blink a few times to clear my mind of the image.

The boat isn’t often kept in the pond anymore since there’s no use for it, but I specifically asked Marcel to have Mr. Potter, who is in charge of the lands of the manor, make sure it was waiting for us tonight.

“Are we going in the boat?” Rapsody asks. “I’ve never been in a boat before.”

I nod as we step onto the wooden dock. “We are. I’ll help you in first.”

“Okay!”

Her childlike excitement removes some of the sting of the memories of my mother, though it’s impossible to remove it entirely given what tonight is.

Once Rapsody is in the rowboat, I untie the boat from the dock and get in, sitting opposite her, and pick up the oars. Mist swirls over the water with every row of the oars, and the sound of water dripping off them back into the pond is the only sound besides the chirping insects.

When we reach the middle of the pond, I set down the oars. The show should start any minute now.

“What’s that?” Rapsody asks, pointing over my head.

I turn and look over my shoulder to see the orange glow floating up through the sky. Perfect timing. “That’s what we’re here for. Just watch.”

A minute later, a few more lights dot the sky.

“It’s beautiful.” Her voice is full of awe.

“It’s something the people in town do every year. This is the day the town was founded. The founder used to send lanterns up in the sky so that his star-crossed lover a few miles away would know he was thinking of her.”

“That’s so romantic.” Rapsody’s attention is still pointed skyward, but all I see is her.

“My mom thought so. She’d come out here on the pond every year to watch them float by. Sometimes she’d bring us boys.”

“Your mom…” Her voice trails off as though she’s just putting something together in her mind.

We watch in silence as the number of floating lanterns grows until it looks as if the sky is full of stars, and we’re within arm’s reach of them. Then they trail off until the last one disappears in the distance, out of view.

“I have a confession,” she says.

It isn’t Rapsody’s soft voice that makes me stiffen but her words.

“A confession?” I tilt my head, and she meets my gaze, nodding.

“I’ve seen something like those lanterns before.” She seems nervous, chewing her bottom lip.

My forehead wrinkles. How is that even possible? “Where did you see them?”

I watch her throat contract as she swallows hard. “In the manor.”

Her words float into the night like the lanterns, but instead of floating away, they hang between us. “I don’t understand.”

“The night I escaped from the tower and found you sitting by the shore”—she motions with her hand to the edge of the pond—“I woke up to a warm glow under the door, and when I tried the handle, the door was unlocked. I followed the light, and it led me to you. That’s why I didn’t just run away when I could have.”

“You followed a light?” I’m still trying to wrap my head around what she’s saying.

She nods. “It looked just like those lights we saw in the sky. And then the night I found you on the patio by the pool, drinking and upset about something… the same thing happened. It led me to you.”

I glance away from her at the reminder of what I’ve been struggling with lately and whether I should reveal it to her.

When I don’t say anything for a beat, Rapsody says, “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

“No, no.” I take her hand. Lord knows I’ve seen some strange shit in my time living in the manor. I am curious about something though. “How did you know you should follow it? What if it was leading you somewhere bad?”

Her gaze flicks up to the sky as though she’s pondering my question. “I don’t really know. It just felt… right. It felt friendly, as if it was trying to help. That sounds stupid, I know.”

“No, no, it doesn’t.”

Was it my… mother? Is that even possible?

“What do you think it means?” she asks.

“I honestly don’t know.” I squeeze her hands. “But I don’t think it’s a bad thing.”

Maybe my mother was trying to help me from beyond the grave.

We’re quiet for a moment, both deep in our own thoughts. My stomach tightens until it’s painful, and I know it’s time. This is a moment that will either bring us closer together or tear us apart. And if she chooses to leave me after I tell her everything, I won’t even be able to blame her.

“Speaking of confessions, there are things I need to tell you. Confess… about myself.”

She frowns and pulls her hands away, straightening up. “What is it?”

It’s already started. She’s already pulling away from me.

“I must confess to you the kind of man who sits across from you. I’m not deserving of you. Not even close. But I’m selfish enough to want to keep you anyway.”

“I don’t understand.” Her emerald eyes are wide. She’s probably imagining the worst things possible, and I’m about to prove her right.

“It’s difficult for me to tell you. But the closer we get, the more it only feels fair that you know me completely.” I think of how she ran off when her mother told her I had been accused of killing my father.

“You’re scaring me, Kol.”

“You should be scared. I’m not a good man, Rapsody.” I rub my hands over my face.

Why can’t I just forget all this shit from my past? Why do I have to ruin a good thing between us?

But I know the answer. It’s because I love this woman. And she deserves to know that I’m in no way good enough for her.

“That’s not true. You are a good person.” She shakes her head, almost begging for it to be true.

“After I kidnapped you.” The confession locks in my throat, but I push the words out. “I came up with a plan to make you fall in love with me, and then I would break your heart as revenge for you leaving me at the altar.”

There. That’s out. She glances to the sky, her chest rising and falling with deep breaths.

“It was stupid. I should have known how stupid it was because…”

“Because what?” she asks, her eyes searching mine.

“Because it’s you. Rapsody… you’re everything to me. You always have been.”

Her lips tip, and her eyes fill with unshed tears. “Kol, but you changed your mind?”

“God, yes. I’d kill any fucker who hurt you, even if that means myself.”

She rushes to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I place my hand on her hips, pushing her back. “I have another confession.”

She sits back down, and her eyes crinkle with worry. I’m not sure how I thought she would be when I told her my original plan, but this next one is different. She knew I was mad when I kidnapped her, she knew I wanted revenge, but my next confession speaks to how horrible of a person I am.

“What?” she asks.

“I’ve killed people.”

She relaxes once the words have left my mouth, which is the exact opposite reaction I expected. “Of course you have. You were in the special forces.”

“I was. And some of what I had to do there will always haunt me. But it’s more than that.”

The corners of her lips tip down. “More?”

“Not only that, I’ve applied… pressure… when needed as a part of my duties at Voss Enterprises.”

“What does that mean?” Her gaze doesn’t stray from my face.

I blow out a breath. “It means if someone needs convincing in one way or another, I pay them a visit until they see things our way.”

Her forehead scrunches. “So you beat them up?”

I nod. “Sometimes. Often it doesn’t get that far. I can usually be fairly convincing with my words and demeanor alone.”

She thinks about that for a moment. “All right, well, you’re protecting your family’s interests. That’s not so terrible.”

God, this woman just doesn’t want to see what’s right in front of her.

A caustic laugh leaves my lips. “I should’ve known you’d find some way to make what I’ve done unselfish. You’re too na?ve for your own good.”

Her head rocks back as though I’ve slapped her. “I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I’m not na?ve, I?—”

“There’s more.”

“Okay…”

“I didn’t just kill people while I was in the military. I’ve killed people since I’ve been out as well.”

She stiffens. “Your father…”

“I won’t speak about that night. That’s not what I’m referring to anyway.” My brothers and I made a pact that we would never speak with anyone about what went down the night my father died, and I’ll go to my grave to stay true to that pact.

“Who then?”

“Three different people.”

Her hands fly up to her face, and her emerald eyes glisten with unshed tears. “Why?”

I explain the circumstances that Asher and Anabelle found themselves in last summer and what I did to ensure they’d be okay and that no trouble would come their way.

“I don’t know what to say. What did you do with the bodies of those two men from the airport?”

I rub the back of my neck with my hand. Fuck. She’s going to think I’m a monster. “Returned home with their bodies on the private plane, then piloted my smaller plane out over the Gulf, weighed them down, and pushed their bodies out the door.”

She gasps. “The same plane you brought me here in?”

I shake my head, then look away from her, not wanting to see what she thinks of me.

After a beat, she asks, “Do you regret it?”

This is an easy enough answer. “No. Those men threatened people I care about. I’d do it again if I had to.”

They may have deserved it, but it’s still not easy to look at a man while the life drains out of his eyes, knowing you’re the reason why. But it not being easy doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it again in a heartbeat.

Rapsody doesn’t say anything. At all. For what feels like five long minutes, I sit there wondering if I’ve torched the best thing to ever happen to me.

When she finally does speak, her words make my guts twist.

“I think I’d like to go back to the manor now,” she says.

“Rapsody, I?—”

She raises her hand. “Can we just go back please?”

I nod solemnly and take the oars in hand again, rowing us back to the dock. Once we’re off the boat and walking back through the mist toward the manor, Rapsody keeps a good distance between us. Of course she can’t stand the idea of being near a predator like me.

We don’t speak the entire walk back to the manor, and when the ethereal glow of the outside lights are first visible in the fog that’s now set in over the property, Rapsody says in a quiet voice, “I think I’m going to sleep in my room tonight.”

I swallow down my disappointment. Her words hurt more than the blows my father used to inflict on me when I was growing up. “Of course.”

When we reach her bedroom, she doesn’t say anything to me before entering and closing the door.

She’s as good as gone. I should have expected it, I suppose.

Everyone I love always leaves me. First my mother, then Asher when he skipped off to boarding school and left us to deal with our father, and now Rapsody—twice.