22. Illiana
I have been at Lachlan’s condo for about a week now. He helped me get signed up for counseling services. I just had my first session yesterday. I’m hoping that it will help me. It’s like Lach walks on eggshells around me and I freaking hate it. Our relationship has never been like this. We’ve always been close, able to tell each other everything. There’s something he has been holding back. I can see it in his eyes when he stares at me. I don’t even know what to think right now. On top of losing Jaxon and getting my memories back, I’m a hot mess. It makes little sense that I lost an entire year’s worth of memories. And in their place were memories of Jaxon. How does that even happen?
It’s time for me to sit down with Lachlan and lay it all out there for him. He hasn’t pushed for answers about my overdose. He’s been giving me time, but if anyone deserves answers, it’s him. Since the memories came back, I’ve been confused about many things, but there’s one thing that I’m not confused about. When I remembered everything, I remembered how much I loved Lachlan. I see him in a whole new light. Maybe I’ve always seen him that way, but I was too scared to admit it to myself. I’ve loved no one the way I love him, not even Jaxon.
Blakely is still with my mom and Lena. I’ve been missing her like crazy. They are going to be bringing her home in the next week or two, and I can’t wait. Lachlan has a beautiful princess room set up for her. I know she’s going to adore it. When I saw my room for the first time, it took my breath away. I have this huge four-poster king-size canopy bed. Pale purple lace drapes over the top. My blanket is a slightly darker purple, with lush pillows in various shades of purple and teal covering the bed. On the wall, he has paintings of butterflies being freed from their cages. I’m assuming he intended to add those to the room. I see how they relate to my life, that’s for sure. On my nightstand, there’s a gorgeous lamp. Teal and purple butterflies freely float inside the birdcage shaped lamp. It looks like they are flying around. I’ve never seen something more stunning. There’s a walk-in ensuite, white marble tiles, a huge claw-foot tub, and the most amazing shower I’ve ever been in. The rainfall shower head is to die for. Lachlan has made his home a home for me and Blakely.
When I woke up this morning, there was a small black box sitting on my nightstand. When I opened it, I couldn’t help but to cry. A diamond encrusted necklace gleamed flawlessly within the box. I broke down, took the angel wing necklace off Jax had given me all those years ago, and cried my eyes out some more. Then I saw Lachlan had left me a note. I cried even harder when I read it.
Ellie,
You are the most precious thing in the world to me. You always have been. I’ve held onto this necklace for many years, hoping one day I could give it to you. I bought it when we were just kids in high school. You’ve always been my baby doll, my little butterfly. You were a bird trapped in a cage for a very long time. The wings of that little bird were broken. But now you have transformed into a beautiful butterfly. No cage is small enough to keep you captive now. It’s time for you to spread your wings and fly with me by your side. I’ll always be here to love and support you.
-Love Always
Lachlan
Lachlan has been in the kitchen cooking dinner for a while now. I asked him if he needed help, but he shooed me away. I’m not the best cook, but I can hold my own. It’s not like I burn water or anything. There is that one time I put ramen in the microwave to cook. I forgot to add water. It was awful, truly awful. Any time I used my microwave, it smelled like burned popcorn. I learned my lesson real quick.
Lachlan and I need to talk. And I think we can do that while he finishes up whatever he’s cooking. The aroma of whatever it is is mouthwatering. Peeking my head around the corner, he’s standing at the stove with an apron on that says, “Kiss the cook.” Right about now, I want to kiss him. Shaking my hands to get some of this nervousness out, I step around the corner. I’m not as light on my feet as he is, so he hears me coming. Popping his head up, he gives me a big smile.
“Couldn’t stay away from the smell of food, could you? You’ve always been a major foodie, Ellie.”
“You’ve got me! It smells amazing in here. What are you cooking?”
“I’m not telling you. You’ll have to wait a bit longer.”
“Fine! In the meantime, I hoped we could talk, if that’s okay with you.”
“We can talk. What’s on your mind?”
“I need to let you know why I did what I did. And then I think we need to talk about Ben.” Lach releases a strangled sound from his throat, but nods his head in acknowledgement. Just tell him. He needs to know. “Did you know Jaxon had a whole other family?”
Lach’s head snaps his head up like I’ve asked him an absurd question. “What do you mean, he had another family?” The look he’s throwing my way is clearly not the look of someone that’s hiding a massive secret for Jaxon.
“He’d left a teddy bear for Blake in the top of his office closet. I went in to get it and knocked this box of stuff down. I totally forgot about it. The next time I went into his office, it was still sitting on the floor. Something told me to look in the box, and what I saw practically destroyed me.”
“What did you find in the box, Ellie?” Taking a deep cleansing breath, I let it go. Once I get this off my chest, I’m hoping that it will help to set me free.
“There were pictures, and what I assume were trinkets that he’s kept over the years from all the women he’s been with. There were pictures of him and the woman from Colombia, Juliana. A little boy appeared in pictures with the two of them. Not only that, there was a sonogram that dated back to the time he went TDY to Colombia. Lach, there was a marriage license too. A fucking marriage license! It had his middle name down as his first name. He didn’t just cheat on me, he had a whole other family.” Tears trail down the apple of my cheeks, but getting this out is cleansing.
“You can’t be fucking serious! If he was alive, I’d kill him all over again for doing this to you. What a piece of shit.” I cringe and he sees the look that passes across my face. “You didn’t deserve what he did to you. I didn’t know about what he did in Colombia. I knew about Christina and I suspected other women, but I was scared to tell you. For one, he was the light of your life. I didn’t want to risk telling you, and then losing you, because he covered his own ass. That’s no excuse for not telling you. So many times I wanted to beat his ass, shake some sense into him. But Ben had his claws so deep in Jax that there was no getting him out. Over the years, I know you saw how I started distancing myself from Jax. It was all because of how he treated you, the things I knew he was doing behind your back. But not once was I never not there for you. You know that, right? I can’t live with you hurting yourself again, Illiana.”
Shit! He never uses my real name unless he’s angry. “I’m sorry that I put you through all of that, Lach. I never want to hurt you. It seems like I’ve hurt you more times than not over the years. And you’re right. I don’t know if I would have believed you. I’d like to think that I would have, but you knew how I felt about Jax back then. Now I just feel like an idiot.”
“You aren’t an idiot. Ellie, you were in love. You cared about him.”
“But was I really in love with him? I feel like he stole me from you. Now that I know the truth, he had to have known something was going on with me. Lexa has to have known, too. She was my best friend. Over the years, we haven’t talked much, but back then she’s the person I confided in the most.”
“Well, Lexa was nothing but trouble. She was my sister’s friend too. Ava was a good girl until Lexa came around. Did you know Lexa was friends with Ben too? For a while, I knew they were hooking up back then.”
“Holy shit! I didn’t know they were hooking up. Damn, if they were hooking up, and I didn’t know, then there’s a chance that she didn’t know about us. She had the hots for Jaxon. If she would have known, there’s no doubt in my mind that she would have told him.”
“Like I said, the girl was trouble. She tried to get in my pants more than once, but I always pushed her away. I ignored her the best I could. She was an attention seeker.”
“Seems like there might be more to the whole Lexa, Ben, Jax thing. I guess I’m glad that we aren’t friends anymore.”
“Yeah, it’s probably a good thing.”
“So what about Ben?” Lachlan’s fist clenches at his sides, and his jaw twitches. I bet he’s grinding those perfect white teeth right about now. He hates Ben, despises talking about him too.
“Are you sure you want to hear this? Can you handle it?”
“I can handle it as long as you’re here with me.”
Hopping up onto the counter, I settle in for what he’s about to tell me. From the look on his face, it can’t be good.
“My buddy Remi went to your house.” He steps closer to me, resting his hands on the counter, caging me in. “Remi took the condom that was in your trash.” He cringes while staring me in the eyes. “He took some hair out of your brush, too. Then he had the samples compared. They came back positive. Ben came into your house, into your bedroom, and he…”
“Stop! I can’t hear anymore.” I thought I was strong enough to hear this, but I’m not. There’s a knot in my throat, making it hard to swallow. The back of my eyes burn from the tears I’m trying to hold in. It’s no use because one escapes. But Lach is there to gently wipe it away with a soft caress of his thumb.
“I’ve got you. I’ll always have you. Please believe that I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” Lach leans his forehead against mine. His warm peppermint breath mists across my skin, goosebumps pebble on my arms, and a full body shiver wracks my body. “I just wanna be by your side for the rest of our lives.”
“Kiss me, Lach. Please kiss me. Take it all away.” He hesitates for a moment. His forehead remains pressed against mine. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, a huge breath whooshes out of him.
He trails his finger along my jaw, to my chin, lingering on my dimple. “I’ve always loved this dimple. Dimples on the chin are special, just like you. Did you know that?” He moves his finger up to my bottom lip, rubbing along the delicate skin. I see the moment he makes his decision. I can see the hunger in his eyes, hunger he’s restrained for years. His eyes dilate and that beautiful green that I love so much turns pitch black. My lips part on a gasp. “Fuck it,” he says, as his lips capture mine in a searing kiss. Eyes fluttering closed, my heart skips a beat, as both of his hands come up to capture my head, holding it in place, fingers tangling in my hair. He pulls me in closer to his body. Spreading my legs apart, I pull him in closer and wrap my legs around his waist. He groans in my mouth as his cock meets my center. My whole body tingles at the connection. His mouth is warm with a hint of peppermint. His tongue is soft, touching, tasting, teasing all of my senses. He nips my bottom lip and then dives back in. My skin is flushed, and a bead of sweat trails down between my breasts. Bringing my arms up, I wrap them around his neck and grip his hair, tugging on the strands at the nape of his neck. “Tell me you want this.”
“I want this,” moaning into his mouth. His tongue tangles with mine as he deepens the kiss.
Pulling back, he says, “wrap your legs around my waist tighter, and hold on, baby. We’re going to my room. When I make love to you again, it will not be on the kitchen counter. You deserve more than that.”
Doing as he says, I wrap my legs around his waist even tighter. He picks me up off the counter and squeezes my ass cheeks with his gigantic hands. Leaning into my ear he whispers, “Are you going to let me eat this pussy baby? I’ve been dying to taste you.”