Chapter 12
12
EMIE
H e takes in strays. Has done since he was little.
Oh man… That explains a lot, actually.
Although I'm compiling all the photo collages and mood boards I've put together for the lodge proposal while sipping my incredible coffee, my mind has plenty of energy left to spin.
I am a stray. It's true. Nobody wants to think of themselves like that, but in my case it’s the truth.
Even as my fingers fly over the keys, copying, pasting, scrolling, and arranging, my heart feels like it's slowly sinking straight down to the floor.
Josh is amazing. Incredible. And completely out of my league . No one in their right mind would ever consider me an acceptable partner for him.
His friends were polite, of course. They didn’t point out this is just a fling. Since it seems that Josh has been single for a long time, they're probably excited for him to find anyone, even if it's temporary.
It's interesting that he introduced his brother to me as his brother. A few taps of the keyboard bring up a ream of information on the Wolfe family. Holy wow… Family history. Founding the town. Extensive land ownership with businesses all over the place. After a few minutes of skimming, I close the windows. Whoa. That's a lot to deal with.
I'm positive Josh didn't really mean for me to meet any of his family. Then again, he merely had his arm around me inside the cafe. It's not like he called me his girlfriend or anything.
Well, hopefully I can at least stay for a few more weeks. This project with the lodge is completely riveting.
Mrs. Honeywell is eager to help when I explain I need to print out ten sheets of 11 x 17 card stock. Once I have everything together, including extensive notes, I check my email.
Jennifer and Katie have sent me more details about their project, this time with proper photos of the loft. Holy crap. It's amazing – if utterly bland. I can already see how they need to divide up the massive space, and how they need to separate their living quarters from the public space they're going to share with other photographers and content creators.
Grabbing some scrap paper and a pen, I make notes for about five minutes, then stop. Where the heck is Colorado Springs anyway, and how big is it? Is it the kind of place I would want to live?
I really want to stay with Josh as long as possible. Yet this other project would be a solid two or three months. Maybe longer.
Ha! How odd that I should be thinking of the old saying "a bird in the hand…" while working on a bird-related project.
Although I would give anything to stay with him, I can't be one of those women who ignores reality or stability in favor of…whatever this is with Josh. I'm so unstable as it is. I need to grasp anything with some longevity.
Air, water, food, shelter. That's the order of priority of the requirements to stay alive.
I fall down a rabbit hole: maps of Colorado Springs, the downtown area, the population, local shops and restaurants… There’s a park filled with red sandstone rock formations that look positively otherworldly.
I don't realize how much time has passed until I sense a shadow moving behind me. My head jerks up to see Josh's smile fall completely off his face when he catches a glimpse of my screen.
His hand pulls away from where he was about to squeeze my shoulder, then he drops into a chair beside me. "Baby, you aren't still thinking of going, are you?"
I'm cringing on the inside but try to keep my expression neutral. "I think I should at least look into it. There's a few months of stability."
His mouth opens and closes a couple times, as if he can't quite force the words out. Then his gaze falls to the presentation panels. "May I?"
"Of course."
His expression softens as he flips through a sketched site plan laid over an aerial photo, showing where the lodge and trail could be. One mood board for the lodge decor, and another for the building style. A huge chart with photos of the local birds that are most common in that exact area. Sketches of the viewing stations. A proposed website that would direct all interested tourists to Old Hemlock Valley for meals, gas, and outdoor supplies.
"Emie, this is incredible." He reaches over to take my hand. "I can't possibly thank you enough."
We drive back to his house while he stares out the window, brooding. This is probably his default state. He's mentioned a few times that he is a grump, but I've never really seen it in action.
We make dinner, resuming our usual banter. But some of the light has gone out of his eyes. It's like he's going through the motions.
Crap. Have I ruined everything? I was hoping that we could last another few weeks at least. Just a bit more time basking in the warm comfort of his arms.
Usually I'm thinking about the next home after whichever one I’m currently in. Now I'm only thinking about Josh. The way his eyes catch the light when he laughs. The way he holds me. The way he kisses me as if he never wants to stop.
After dinner, we sit on the couch, and he turns to me, taking both of my hands. Oh no . This is it. I should make this as quick and easy for both of us as possible, like ripping off a bandage, even though I'm suddenly flooded with dread so heavy and dark that my knees shake.
Before he can say anything, I blurt, "It's okay. I'm sorry. Your friends probably think you're crazy for taking in another stray."
"Another stray? What are you talking about?"
"In the coffee shop. Your brother said that you used to take in strays. It's easy to put two and two together – you have a pattern of taking in pitiful creatures."
"Dammit, baby." In a heartbeat he pulls me into his lap, holding me against him. "You can't possibly think like that. Please. I've never thought that for a second."
He leans in to kiss me, but my head pulls back an inch. "I understand, and it's not really personal. A guy like you? It would be weird for you to be with some random nobody." My palm strokes his stubble. "I've known this from the start. I'm just grateful that we got to spend this time together. It's honestly okay."
"It's honestly not . You don't?—"
"Josh, we only met because the local cop asked you to check out some hitchhiker. This is a small town where people share every story. You don't think he's going to tell everyone? They’re all going to have an intense opinion about one of their darling Wolfe boys being with an outsider."
His forehead presses to mine as a deep sigh rumbles through him. "I never asked to be a Wolfe," he mutters. "And I really don't give a shit what people have ever thought of me."
He reaches for his phone. "Okay, let's talk with the cop in question." He makes a few taps with his thumb. "Hey, James. You're on speaker."
"What's up?"
"Sorry to bother you, but this is important. Tell me: how did Emie and I meet?"
There's a pause. "I assume you mean the pretty brunette girl you were with in front of Corina's earlier?"
"Yes."
"I'm not quite sure. I would imagine she was passing through and you got to talking, and she decided to stay a while." He chuckles deeply. "Our town is just so darned wonderful that everyone wants to live here once they get a good look at it, right? I assume your lovely lady friend felt the same."
"Thanks, James. Talk soon."
"Have a good one."
Josh sets the phone aside, then begins rubbing my back gently. "Stay, Emie. Of course there are going to be a few little hiccups at the beginning of any relationship. But I really want you to stay."
Why do his beautiful green eyes have to be so magical? I want to say yes. I want to get our hopes up. Yet that is irresponsible and wrong – not to mention, I'm not sure if I could live with the pressure of everyone's judgment. What would all the local women think if an outsider strolled in and snapped up one of the precious Wolfe boys?
It's a lot of baggage for a relationship that's only a few days old.
"Give me forty-eight hours." Josh nods as if that will make me agree with him. "I won't do anything different or special that I wouldn't do every day of our lives together. Let's just explore what things could be like if you stayed with me."
Two days of pretending this relationship doesn't have a ticking time bomb attached to it? From the way his thigh moves under me, his strong fingers gently kneading my shoulder, I have to give in. "Okay. Test drive. Let's see what happens."
He grins, then grabs the remote. "Movie?"
We watch an action superhero flick, but I can't pay attention to the plot, since I keep dozing off, snuggled into his warm shoulder.
When I wake up with a start, the clock says three in the morning. Looking around, I'm in the guestroom, my arm around a pillow, and an extra blanket over my legs.
Wow. He's giving me space.
Josh already seems to understand what I need.
Which makes me want to keep my mind wide open for the next two days.