Shielding Aubree (The Shield #1)

Chapter 1

1

H enley Matlick shifted on the loveseat in her office. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to go back to her old chair now that she'd had her baby, Elizabeth. The loveseat had been a miracle helping with the lower back pains that she'd had off and on during her pregnancy, but now the size difference was noticeable.

Her phone buzzed on the side table, and she looked at the screen. A simple swipe of her finger across the screen picked up the call.

"Yes?"

"Hey, Henley. Your next appointment is here."

"Oh? Is this Officer Cueva?"

"Yes. New Mexico State Police. Car rollover."

Henley knew the story of the crash mostly from news accounts. Local stations were all over it when it happened, not only because of the crash and the officer's injuries but also the danger and painful suffering of the Cueva family in the last few years.

Getting up out of her chair, Henley crossed over to the door and used the camera to check and make sure that it was her client entering the outer office. With a quick in-drawn breath she turned the knob on the door and opened it slowly.

The last thing she wanted to do was startle her patient given what was likely her emotional state.

The woman on the other side of the door held herself like an officer of the law, standing ramrod straight and her arms lowered to her side, but not resting at her sides.

It made her stance a little awkward, but if she was wearing her duty belt it would explain the slight oddity.

"Hi." She didn't move into the room more than a couple of steps keeping space between them. She stopped and held out her hand. "I'm Henley Matlick. And you're Aubree Cueva, right?"

The other woman looked at her hand and took a step closer.

"Yeah. That's my name." An indrawn breath preceded two more steps and Aubree held out her hand to shake, but her aim was a little off and the tips of her fingers bumped against Henley's before she managed to take her hand. "Sorry. I... That was embarrassing."

"No need to be embarrassed with me." Henley easily broke contact with Aubree's hand and gestured toward the office. "I have a big couch in here for you to sit on and we've got a good view out the window if you'd like to come in."

While she didn't make a show of it, she'd been watching Aubree's eyes and body language as she invited her inside.

Couch didn't cause much of a reaction, but as soon as Aubree looked at the open doorway behind her, Aubree tensed.

And even though her expression had eased at the mention of windows, Aubree only took a half-step forward to look into the office.

Henley was trying to see it through Aubree's eyes. The walls, dark, but warm. The interior of the office was well lit, but not overly bright even with the sun beaming down outside. Sometimes when working with a new patient there was more information in their body language than what was written in their medical and intake files. "Would you like to go in and choose a seat?"

Aubree's gaze shifted to Henley’s, and she could see the evaluation going on right in front of her.

The observations that she'd tried to make of Aubree, Aubree was trying to take stock of her as well.

So Henley just stood there and let the other woman look.

And evaluate.

This was all a part of the process.

Her visual catalogue of Henley completed, Aubree took a step closer to the door and moving close to the door frame on the opposite side of where Henley was, Aubree looked into the room, taking stock of the windows and the bright sunlight before turning to see in the other direction.

That's when Henley saw it.

The first unguarded reaction from her patient.

Fear.

Dread.

One look into the side of the room that wasn't flooded with sunlight was enough to freeze air in Aubree's lungs.

It only lasted a minute before Aubree stood up a little taller and opened her mouth to exhale.

She was putting on a show of strength which wasn't a bad thing.

Knowing when you're weak is the first step to turning the tables on fear.

On the painful instincts that came with the natural instincts of fight or flight.

Looking at Aubree, Henley would bet that the officer standing before her was a fighter.

Which was good.

But only so much as it helped you through a challenge.

Henley had seen people 'fight,' strike out at others, instead of looking inside of themselves and fixing issues where they lived.

Aubree looked at the outer office, her gaze moving over the walls and windows. The open doorway kept drawing her attention, but not in a good way.

"Would you like to go for a walk and talk to me while we're outside?"

Aubree's face changed in a heartbeat.

Relief rushed across her features and color rushed into her cheeks, but the skin across her forehead and down along her nose paled in comparison.

When Aubree's mouth moved, there wasn't any sound at first.

Still, Henley could see that it was the word YES. She didn't want to call attention to the silence. Aubree very well could collapse physically or emotionally with too much of a challenge at first.

They didn't have a rapport that Henley could call on if Aubree pulled away.

Instead, she gestured to the outer door. "There's a nice, leisurely walk that we can take. The trees will give us enough shade that we won't overheat."

Aubree nodded, her lips almost smiling.

"But if you're hurting at all, just say so and we can stop. Take a break. Or a breath." Henley wanted to physically reach out to Aubree, but she didn't think it would help at all. In fact it could hurt. "You tell me how you're feeling. And we'll go by that. Okay?"

Aubree nodded, her gaze moving across the room to see a family picture on a side table.

"You have a baby?" She swallowed. "I mean children?"

Henley smiled as her whole body filled with joy. "Two girls. One is a baby."

Aubree nodded again. "Okay, we'll walk slowly. Take our time."

"I'd like that." Henley gestured at the door. "Do you want me to go first or would you like to take the lead."

Aubree let out a slow, shaking breath. "I... I don't want to be in the room when you step out, the door..." Aubree swallowed audibly. "I'm... I don't want the door to close and... lock me in."

Henley kept her expression neutral. Smiling might be construed in the wrong way. "I'm glad you told me that, Aubree." She kept her hands at her sides instead of reaching out to Aubree. She didn't want to startle her. "I can assure you of one thing, right now."

Aubree's gaze moved to her face and fixed on it.

"Here at The Refuge, you will never be locked in, ever."

Aubree's expression didn't change, but her gaze remained fixed on Henley's face. She was listening to her words, but she didn't quite believe them.

Trust, Henley knew, would come in time.

They had to earn it from Aubree.

And earn it, they would.

"Why don't you go ahead and step outside. I'll step out after you and close the door."

A muscle in Aubree's jaw tensed and her neck was next, likely reacting to Henley's promise.

Even though she'd said that Aubree wasn't going to be closed in, her mind had still gone to the worst-case scenario.

When Aubree took a step toward the door, Henley considered that a win.

Not for herself but for Aubree.

Every decision she made.

Every chance she was taking was a win.

Getting through her challenges wasn't going to be a one and done.

Thinks like this could have a thousand paths to success, but none of them were instantaneous.

When Aubree reached the doorway, she put her back to the door frame and her eyes watched Henley as if she wasn't sure she could trust her not to beat her out the door and shut it in her face.

So Henley didn't give her a reason to worry, walking as if they were already outside the building, taking her time to move.

By the time they reached the outside door, Aubree's hands were fisted at her sides and her knuckles had white crescent moons that Henley could see in the interior lighting.

"Ready?"

Aubree's head turned toward the side wall, and Henley immediately saw what she was looking at.

"Is that yours?"

Aubree looked back at the walker that was parked against the wall and her lips thinned into a pale white line beneath her nose. "I've been feeling better."

The words didn't answer the question, but Henley wasn't going to point that out.

Deflection was a strong motivator for people. Especially when it came to pain and weakness.

Add to it that Aubree was a police officer, and it was a real concern.

"I might need the walker if we stay out for... more than a few minutes."

Henley smiled softly and hopefully it was an expression that conveyed ease to Aubree. "Would you like me to get it for you?"

Aubree's shoulders tensed and her upper arms trembled a little. "I can get it."

Again, Henley didn't argue or try to change her decision. She waited while Aubree crossed to the wall to retrieve the walker she'd set against it.

Instead of opening the walker to use both arm rests, Aubree turned it to face the door and put her right forearm in the cushioned cradle and started to walk back toward the door.

Keeping her expression neutral again, Henley pushed the door at the front of the building open and stepped out into the sunlight.

She held it open and kept her gaze on Aubree.

While the other woman tensed and her steps stiffened a little, Aubree walked herself out of the door and into the sunlight.

When she came to a stop, Aubree lifted her chin slightly and drew in a lung-filling breath.

"No more doors?"

Henley turned and looked at Aubree making sure that the other woman saw the look in her eyes. "No more doors unless you want to go through them."

Aubree let out a breath and nodded. "Let's walk."

Henley wanted to say that they'd just happened to meet up with Leon by mistake, but as much as she believed in magic, she knew that certain things had to be set up to make the magic happen.

A splash drew attention on a hot day.

It was nature.

"There's a pool?"

Henley didn't know what to make of Aubree's tone. "Strength and flexibility training."

They slowed to a stop and Henley watched Aubree move off the side of the path and up to the wall separating the pool from the rest of the facility.

Henley stepped up beside her and turned her head just slightly to the side so she could see her expression.

"I'm pretty sure they're just sending me here to have you make sure my head is on straight."

"We've got a more holistic approach here."

Aubree turned to look at her. "So this isn't just a head shrinking thing?"

Henley felt her brow pinch above her nose a little. "Would you like to just see me while you're here?"

She saw Aubree's features tense as she looked around the pool and then to the other buildings that she could see.

"I'm pretty sure that my insurance with the State Police doesn't cover all of this."

Henley turned and braced her arm on the wall. "It was written out in the brochure. Did you get a chance to read it?"

Aubree's jaw tensed a little and she didn't meet Henley's eyes. "Honestly, the brochure looked awesome, but I didn't read it. All the pretty pictures? That all seemed like some kind of spa thing, and I know our insurance wasn't going to cover activities. I'm just grateful to be here because I want to go back to my job. I want to be back on the streets.

"To do that I need to get cleared for duty. And that is where you come in."

Henley reached into the folder for another copy of the brochure but stopped when she heard her name.

"What's going on? Are you coming in for a swim?"

Henley watched Leon jog across the deck, his towel held loosely in his hand. "Hey, Leon. How is the workout going?"

He shrugged and Henley saw his gaze shift to Aubree at her side.

His eyes widened a little and Aubree’s mouth softened, her jaw relaxed.

Henley turned to the woman at her side. "Aubree Cueva, this is Ruben Chaucer. He's one of our physical therapists here at The Refuge." Henley looked back at Ruben. "Ruben? This is Aubree."

He wiped his hands off on his towel quickly and slung it around the back of his neck before he moved up to the wall and held out his hand.

Henley was happy to see him take such care in the way he approached Aubree.

"Welcome, Aubree."

It took a moment, but Aubree reciprocated the movement and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Ruben."

It was hard for Henley to hold back a smile, but she managed it. She could tell that the two were going to work well with each other. "I was just telling Aubree that her time here at The Refuge isn't just about working with me but finding the right program for her."

Aubree shrank back a little and took a step back from the wall. "I've never been a swimmer. It kind of drove my dad a little crazy."

Ruben shrugged. "You don't have to be a good swimmer to get in the pool." He grinned and leaned against the wall separating them. "If that was the case, no one would ever get in."

"Yeah?" Aubree's voice was soft, but clear. "That makes sense, but I've tried it, and I can barely dog paddle. And that was before..." She gestured at the walker she'd been using, and Ruben reacted in a way that said he hadn't noticed the device.

Ruben leaned further over the wall and looked at Aubree from her toes up to her head and back again. "Back injury?"

Aubree lifted her chin, and her shoulders pushed back, a defensive gesture that Henley knew well. "Compression of my spine. I was trapped in my cruiser, upside down for hours. They tell me it's a miracle that I'm walking again."

Ruben stood up and took a step back, nodding. "Hard work and determination if you ask me. I bet you fought for it every step of the way."

"I've always fought for what I wanted. I never let anyone hold me back."

An odd look touched his face as he thought about her words.

Henley wasn't sure exactly what was in his head, but she knew enough to trust him. He'd been through his share of hell and built himself back up again. If anyone knew what to say, he did.

"What about you?"

Aubree leaned back; her brow pinched over her nose. "What... What do you mean?"

Ruben picked up one end of his towel and lifted it to dry off his hair. "You said you weren't going to let anyone hold you back, but I bet you've put all kinds of a obstacles in your own way."

Henley heard the soft intake of breath beside her and cast a quick look at Aubree.

There wasn't a single bit of pretense left in Aubree's expression.

Oh, she wasn't trying to say that she thought that Aubree was hiding anything or trying to give her a false impression.

People did that naturally all the time.

People lied to themselves more than they misled others.

A lot of it was unintentional.

A defense.

An instinct.

Fight or Flight with a whole lot of extraneous words inside your head.

It wasn't pretty.

It wasn't meant to be.

It was a bandage slapped over an open vein.

It might hold for a little bit, but it wouldn't fix anything.

And if you didn't get to the heart of the matter and fix it, you could bleed out.

That would be a mess.

Aubree lowered her chin and managed a long, slow breath before she looked back up.

"Can't argue with the truth."

Henley couldn't help but feel that Ruben had been holding his breath before Aubree spoke.

He caught Henley's gaze and swallowed. He looked more shaken that she'd ever seen him and made a mental note to talk to him later.

"Henley?"

She turned to see Aubree smiling at her. Not a full-blown grin but a smile, nonetheless.

"Do you think we could find some time in my schedule to work out in the pool."

Henley nodded. "Sure. I can take a look at the schedule tonight and make sure we get it on there for you. You'll have your schedule by breakfast tomorrow."

Aubree nodded and turned her head to stretch her neck. "We should probably continue walking if we want to see much more. I'm..." Her voice softened again. "I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be on my feet."

Henley turned, putting her back to the wall and gestured back the way they'd come from. "We'll see a few things on the way back and get you into your cabin so you can relax before dinner."

Aubree moved her walker back onto the walkway before she turned back toward the pool.

"Ruben?"

He smiled. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Ruben looked a little confused. "For what?"

"For holding my feet to the fire." She drew in a deep breath. "Since the accident I feel like everyone's been tiptoeing around me, trying to make things easier for me. And all it's done is let myself off the hook when I should be pushing myself. I think... I think it's time to make myself a little uncomfortable."

Ruben smiled. "Just tell me what you need. I'll help where I can."

"Okay." Aubree opened her walker and braced one forearm in each cradle. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Ruben lifted a hand and took a few steps back toward the pool.

Henley chuckled silently before she spoke again. "I think you're going to make great strides here."

Aubree ducked her head for a moment and when she looked back up at Henley she was almost laughing.

"What?" Henley was curious. Very curious. "What's so funny."

"Me?" Aubree lifted one arm out of the arm rest of her walker and gestured at the device. "I'm just so happy to be taking any kind of step. Great strides? I think I've got something to work for now."

As they walked back toward her office, Henley saw Aubree tilt her head back to feel the sunshine on her face. She closed her eyes and smiled as if she was breathing in the feeling and enjoying it.

Henley hoped that tomorrow would be an even better day!