Chapter 13
13
R uben knew he was probably crossing a line, but he picked the lock on Aubree's apartment later that night.
He tried to ignore how stalkerish that might make him look.
And he didn't even really think about what might happen if she woke up.
Hell, she might even put a bullet through him, but he couldn't just keep away from her.
Not after hearing Jagger's story.
His words had weighed heavily on Ruben's mind.
So there he was sitting on the back of her sofa, watching her sleep.
Just reassuring himself that she was okay-
That she was breathing-
"'Ben?"
Aubree turned over in bed, her flat sheet falling away as she rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes.
He could just smile at the sleepy way she said his name. If she was tired, she dropped the first syllable, but he wouldn't have it any other way.
"What? What are you doing?"
He let out a sigh. "Sorry. I know this might look-"
She sat upright and swayed a little at the sudden movement.
Ruben got up from the couch and moved closer, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder and steady her.
"I'm sorry for just... showing up."
Aubree yawned and waved off his words. "'s not a problem..." She frowned and looked up at him. "How... how did you get in?"
He wanted to explain, but there just wasn't a good way to explain that he'd picked her lock.
Then, it didn't seem to matter.
Sagging back against her pillow she held out a hand to him. "Come to bed, Ben."
He gestured at himself as if there was someone else in the room and he wasn't sure who she meant. "Me?"
Her smile lifted more on one side than the other. "You."
"Yeah." His voice was barely audible to his own ears and as he moved closer, he found the volume and confidence to say more. "Okay, yeah. I want to hold you, 'Bree."
He took the hand she offered and placed kisses across her knuckles before sliding in behind her, wrapping his arms around her body.
It did wonders for him to feel her snuggle back against his body.
He lifted his head and placed a kiss on her bare shoulder.
The contact of his lips against her skin did more than soothe his worries, it heated his blood.
Aubree covered one of his hands with her own. "Hmm... I was missing you."
He felt her words deep inside him. "Yeah. I was missing you, too."
Her words were clearer when she spoke next. "I should get you your own key."
Ruben cringed at her words. "You don't have to. I just wanted to check on you."
Her body stilled against his and his body tensed in response.
"Is something wrong?"
He heard the slight tremor in her voice and rubbed his palm against her belly. "Nothing. Not anything you have to worry about."
Her hand trapped his against her stomach, close enough to her heart that he could feel the tempo of her pulse. "What do you know?"
Her words confused him even more than he'd been when he'd broken into her apartment.
Instead of pressing her for an answer, he told her his own story, hoping to calm her down before he turned the tables on her. "We had a new client come to the Refuge today. I met him while he was on a campus tour with Finn. He told me about his fiancée and how he'd... how he lost her because of his job. How broken he was that he... that he hadn't been able to save her from the danger."
Aubree drew his hand up from her stomach to her lips.
She touched little kisses to his hand. "That's horrible. I can't imagine what..."
Her voice drifted off and he wondered who she was thinking about. What had made her thoughts drift away.
Was it her brother?
Brothers?
She shifted positions in bed, turning slightly onto her back so she could look up at him. "I'm still here, Ruben. I hope you're not worried about me walking away."
He hesitated and she spoke again.
"I know what I want." She smiled up at him, lifting her hand to touch his cheek. "I know who I want and that's not saying that you're stuck with me if you change your mind."
He wrapped his arm tighter around her. "Not going to happen."
"But if it did," she countered, "I want you to know that it's okay."
He opened his mouth to speak again, but she beat him to the pass.
"I had a visit at work today."
Ruben heard the soft hitch of tension in her voice. He hugged her closer, laying his chin on her shoulder so that he felt her hair as a silken layer between his cheek and hers.
"An FBI Agent came by while I was talking to one of the prosecutors today."
He cuddled her closer and brushed his thumb across her chest, gently tugging the fabric of her nightshirt against her skin.
"She's been... chasing a ghost of sorts. Evidence suggests that the same killer has worked his way across three states and he's currently in New Mexico."
Ruben nodded slowly, his mind working over her words. "And this agent wants to work with them?"
Something moved through her. It felt like a strange stuttering tremor that he struggled to decipher.
"Baby?"
He heard her swallow and felt her hand grip his tightly.
"The agent thinks I'm his next target."
Aubree felt the shift in energy between them.
At first, he was trying to comfort her, but now that she'd put into words what Agent Aparicio had told her, she could feel the tension in his body.
She smoothed her hand over his forearm and felt the way his skin pebbled under her hand. "I'm sure everything is going to be okay."
Ruben turned to stone behind her and Aubree turned around in his arms.
"It's going to be fine."
His eyes looked like flint in the near darkness of her studio. "You said that twice."
She drew back at the dull edge of his tone. "I just wanted to make sure that you heard it."
She saw a muscle tick in his jaw and knew that she was treading through some murky waters.
"What," Ruben narrowed his eyes at her, "makes the agent think that you're... that you're-"
"The target?"
His hand grasped at her hip, his fingers biting into her skin through her nightshirt.
"Agent Aparicio took the photos from my file that my father took of me at the hospital and added filters to the image. She found what she thinks are finger marks on my neck."
Her breath caught in her lungs as he pulled her into his tight embrace, pushing much of the air from her lungs.
The sudden movement took her by surprise, and she found her hands trapped between them.
Ruben's hands moved over her back and down to her thighs, touching everything in between.
"I... I'm okay."
His fingers dug into her as if he needed to keep her still. To hold her close.
He pressed a kiss on her temple, and she felt the rough scratch of his stubble scrape against her cheek.
It settled her somehow.
Being held in his arms felt safe.
Felt secure.
"He strangled you."
It wasn't a question. And the tone of his voice was rough.
Aubree swallowed. "That's what Alara believes."
She heard his silent question.
"Alara Aparicio. She's the agent who put the pieces together. She thinks that my accident was connected to one of his kills."
"And how many bo- How many victims does she think are connected to... the killer?"
"Half a dozen."
She felt him tremble and that's when something inside of her shifted.
The fear that she'd been trying to stuff down inside of her came roaring up and she felt herself shaking with fear.
"Aubree, damn it."
He pulled her tighter against him and she leaned into his embrace.
"It's going to be okay." She could only move one hand between them due to his crushing embrace, so she ended up petting him in an attempt to calm both of them. The repetitive movement had a bit of a calming effect on her as well, but as he rocked her against him, she felt tears leaking onto her cheeks. "It's going to be okay."
"Yeah," his voice sounded like sandpaper in her ears, "it will be because I'm not going to leave you alone until we find the fucker."
She shook her head. "You can't do that."
"The fuck I can't."
His arms tightened around her and she had to fight for a breath.
"I'm going to take some time off from the Refuge-"
"No."
"You can't. Ruben-"
He rolled her onto her back, but before he could say anything something changed.
It was dark.
So damn dark.
And there was a weight on her chest.
Her stomach.
She couldn't move.
She couldn't see into the dark.
"...please..."
The world around her was shrinking. Tightening around her like heavy blankets. Weighing her down and squeezing her lungs tight enough that air had little chance of getting in.
"Fuck!"
Ruben let her go in a heartbeat, putting a good couple of feet between them.
"Aubree, baby..."
He reached a hand out to her and she grasped at it, ducking her chin so he wouldn't see her cry.
"It's going to be okay." The phrase was calming to her. The same family mantra she'd used since she was a kid came easily to the front of her mind.
"I'm an ass." Ruben's voice was cutting but she knew it wasn't directed at her. "I swore I wouldn't hurt you."
"It's okay."
She heard the soft shift of cotton as he moved and reached out for his hand again.
He took her hand and pressed a kiss against the back of it, brushing his rough cheek against it a moment later.
That sensation took her breath away.
The fear that had threatened to pull her under and drown her subsided.
In the darkness she reached for him with both hands and sought the safe harbor that his touch provided. She had to fight through this if she was going to come out on the other side.
He took hold of the other hand she gave him, grateful that she wasn't pushing him away.
"Aubree... baby... I'm so sorry."
"Don’t apologize." Her hands touched his cheeks and moved down under his chin. He felt the rough scratch of his scruff against her softer skin. "I need to feel something, Ruben." Her fingers pushed through his hair and gripped at the back of his head. "I need to feel you ."
The scent of her skin called to him; the heat of her flesh made his own temperature rise.
"Help me."
He looked at her face flushed with arousal and need.
"Help me out of these clothes."
Fuck.
He ground his teeth together, holding back wondering if she really meant it or if she was trying to take her mind off of what had just happened.
She pulled on the back of his head, bringing his face down to her chest, pillowing him between her breasts.
Aubree lifted her legs and draped them over his shoulders and pushed him down lower on the bed.
Ruben knew what she needed then.
He couldn't deny what she wanted.
The scent of her arousal filled his senses.
And the soft, aching moan that rolled from her throat made him even harder than he'd been just a moment before.
It was too late to take off her clothes, he'd just have to move them aside enough that he could reach her.
The panties that she'd worn to bed were soft, they almost felt like silk, but he had a feeling they were just super soft and well made. Smoothing his hands over her thighs, they met at the apex of her thighs. His fingertips dipping just beyond the edge of fabric, he felt the slick heat welling up between her thighs.
As he swept a fingertip through it, teasing the flesh on either side with his tender exploration.
Aubree groaned and lifted her hips, sinking his finger deeper into her sex.
"Ruben, please."
What else could he do but try to please her?
Spreading his fingers, he pulled the edge of her panties away from her sex and leaned in, dragging the tip of his tongue along the seam, parting the folds of her pussy as he tasted her need.
"Oh," she lifted her hips, deepening his contact.
He noticed quickly that the scratch of his more-than-five-o'clock shadow against her skin accentuated her pleasure. If he added pressure to the sweep of his tongue, her breaths picked up speed, her sounds deepened.
Aubree lifted her hips and then twisted them from one direction to the other as he feasted on her sex.
He felt himself harden even more with each breathless cry and as he dove in, loving her with his tongue he slipped one hand up the gentle sweep of her stomach, tunneling his hand under the hem of her t-shirt and pinched her nipple between his fingers.
She called out his name as he pinched even harder at her nipple and fastened his lips around her clit.
"Oh god, yes...yes!"
He loved everything about loving her.
The taste of her orgasm, the way her thighs squeezed his head so tight he was sure his ears would be ringing later, and the way she looked at him when he finally lifted his face from her sex.
She looked at him with a kind of awe, mixed with love.
It was a heady feeling. A dream that he'd never imagined could be his.
Even better was the way she fell asleep moments later with a relaxed smile on her face.
When his knees stopped shaking and his arms could help him get back up on his feet, Ruben moved into the bathroom and wet a cloth so he could gently sweep it between her legs, soothing the scratches that he'd left behind.
And when he fell back into bed with her, the way she turned and cuddled against him made him feel like he'd made the first real step toward understanding the best way to care for her and help her move beyond the fears that she'd lived with since her accident.
He knew he couldn't fix her, that's not what he was trying to do, but he'd be there, shoulder to shoulder, supporting her on the path toward that healing.