Chapter 46
“ P eace,” I breathe. She’s so incredibly sweet. She shines like a beacon in a dark world that seems to prefer bitterness and hate.
“It’s your music that makes my words into a song.” Her gaze brims with certainty.
“But you used to believe that lyrics were the most important part of music,” I remind her.
“That was before I heard you play your guitar the way you do. You make the words come alive.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I whisper. Somehow, she gets exactly what I’m trying to accomplish each time I step onto the stage with my instrument. Even with the years and everything that went wrong, she remains the missing half of me. How am I supposed to walk out of her life again? Music isn’t the same without her. I’m not. I know what I want to tell her. Stay with me. Be with me. I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me so long as I have you.
“Nothing to say. We’ve said it all before.” She reaches for the knob again, but I catch her hand and reel her back in.
“What are you doing?” she asks, her hand coming to rest on my shoulder.
“Keeping you close,” I reply honestly. I need her. She’s the only one who sees anything good in me. “I like holding you. I always have.” Looking down at her as she gazes up at me, I want to be closer than this and much more than just friends.
“I like it too.” She licks her pink and plush lips, making them glisten. “Too much.”
I want to taste her. I lower my head, my entire body vibrating with the desire to kiss her.
“But we’re not kids anymore.” She throws on the brakes, stopping me when my mouth is only inches from hers.
“No, we’re not,” I agree. Time and mistakes have eroded our bond, driven a wedge between us.
“But can you spare me a few more hours tonight?” I ask for far less than I really want.
“Why?” She tilts her head, the ends of her hair brushing my shoulders.
Because I want more time with her. Because I need to work up the strength to let her go again.
“Could you read to me?” I caress the gentle swell of her rounded cheek with the back of my hand. Her skin is so addictively soft.
“Sure.” Her lids flutter as if my touch pleasures her. Touching her sure as hell pleasures me. My pulse is thundering, and my cock is rock hard.
“Could we go outside? Look at the stars?” I require another memory to sustain me. “I’d like to hold you while you read.” I press for that little bit more. With her, I don’t just want to cross forbidden lines. I want to completely erase them.
Peace
I shouldn’t have said yes to Bo. Yet here I am, lying on an outdoor bed with him. The time we spent apart doesn’t seem to matter, and I’m right back to longing for things that can never be.
Time blurs, moving backward while I read to him under the stars. They twinkle like diamonds scattered over a velvet canopy. The same ones wink down at us that were there in the past. I go silent, getting tangled up in regrets.
“Don’t stop.” Bo squeezes me.
“Sorry.” I resume reading. But it’s difficult to concentrate with his strong arm around me. He holds me like I’m his, like I never lost him. He even asks thoughtful questions like he once did. He seems to like my current read, a romantic fantasy with just the right amount of spice and suspense.
“It’s an imaginative story.” Bo rubs a strand of my hair between his fingers. My scalp shimmers. Warm ripples spread from my head to my toes. “With those ice pirates and their ship on skis.”
“Yeah,” I agree. Returning to reading, I revel in Bo’s heat and in the strength of his body that’s pressed against mine. But as the moments slip by, the pull of sleep becomes irresistible. I yawn.
“You’re tired,” he observes. “Why don’t you rest your eyes a minute?”
I should say no. But I can’t. I don’t.
“Okay.” I lay my head on his chest. It’s wider and far more chiseled than when he was only a teenager. His heart is the same. It beats strong and steadily. He’s different certainly, but more alluring than music and books combined. “I’ll just rest for a single moment.”