Chapter 19
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
Maxim
“Would you like to go to work with me today?”
Sia dropped her fork in response. It hit her plate with a clank before toppling to the floor, and when she bent to get it, I lifted my hand.
I snapped at Sophia, who jumped into action. She got Sia’s fallen fork, and one of my butlers came in with a fresh utensil.
Sophia placed the fork down in front of Sia after receiving it from my butler, and Sia’s nod was curt in response.
“Thank you,” she said. She placed her napkin on her lap again.
That had also fallen to the floor.
Sophia had gotten that as well before returning to her position by the wall.
My brow lifted. “Sia?”
I’d been trying to call her by her name more. I only called her by her last name when I was teasing her lately, and these shared mealtimes were new as well. In all honestly, we’d both kind of fallen into them. This was the best time I had to discuss Polly with her before going to work, and since she needed to eat…
Sia usually did eat, but that seemed not to be the case today. She appeared to be a little nervous this morning, unsettled. Polly must have noticed this too because she approached Sia from the corner. She’d been sitting on her dog bed.
That was also new, Polly eating in the same room as myself. She often had her breakfast while we had ours, and I didn’t scold Sia when she gave Polly a piece of bacon off her plate.
I never did.
“Everything all right?” I asked, curious why she was unsettled. Not to mention, she still hadn’t answered me.
“Sorry, uh. What did you ask?” Wiping (what I assumed) was bacon grease off her hands, she picked up her fork again. She started dancing it around the eggs on her plate, and I smiled a little.
“I asked if you wanted to come to work with me?” I repeated, and finished with my own breakfast, I wiped my mouth. I cleaned my plate. Sophia prepared eggs and toast for me this morning. I leaned forward. “I just hired a new embalmer. He used to be a surgeon. Anyway, I figured you might want to ask him some questions.”
This made sense considering her ultimate goals for herself in regards to employment, and I still didn’t know why she wasn’t in school. She was a very smart girl, and that was easy to pick up on since I’d been working with her closely. She had knowledge when it came to Polly, yes, but was quite intelligent in so many other ways. It made me wonder about some of the choices that landed her here in my home, but I was the last one to judge about someone’s past.
I’d had a lot of time with this girl my daughter had forced on me. I actually found myself showing up to work late some days just to have more time to work with her and the dog , and that was something I was definitely aware of.
“He’s a surgeon, but he came to work for you?” she asked, poking at her eggs, but she also poked at me with her question. She liked to do that, and it used to annoy me.
Used to…
It still annoyed me, but in an entirely different way. I gave into that annoyance last night, and I wished it were the first time. I placed my hand on the table. “I pay him well.”
She nodded, hiding beneath a veil of her vibrant curls. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with her, but eventually, she nodded again. “Sure, I’ll come.”
“Are you sure?” I didn’t want to make her do anything she didn’t want to do. I used to not care.
Again, used to.
“Yes, I’d like to go,” she concluded, and I ignored how that made my chest feel. Like boulders had been lifted, and I was now seeing fucking clouds like a legitimate asshole. Like a right fucking idiot who was damn near excited that she wanted to come to work with me.
Shaking my head, I watched her get up from the table. She got Polly’s lead. “Just let me take her back to her room.”
“I can do it.” And in all honestly, she usually made me. She wanted me to bond with Polly.
I called her, and when Polly came right over to me, I didn’t miss Sia’s smile. Nor how it made my insides feel (again) after I clearly pleased her.
I cleared my throat. “I’ll have someone get the car ready.”
Sia was out in my Mercedes when I arrived outside, her petite body tucked into the seat. She had on a short leather jacket, and her legs were crossed while she waited for me. The white cigarette pants she wore hugged the expanse of her shapely legs, and I wet my lips.
“You look nice,” I said, causing her to jump for the second time today. Apparently, she didn’t hear me open my own door? I got inside and closed it. “No shorts and a ketchup-stained t-shirt I see.”
I was obviously teasing her, and I did sometimes. Normally, she dressed more casually. This reflected her age, but today, she appeared years older, her hair up and her neck exposed.
Her face turned red. She shrugged. “Sophia got me some new clothes,” she said, rubbing her arm. She glanced up. “I wanted to look nice.”
My head tilted. She did look nice, older. I put my sunglasses on. “You okay?”
It was fine she wanted to look nice, I guess, but we were just going to my place of work where there were clearly dead bodies (and sometimes parts) lying around. I wasn’t going to allow her to see any of that today, but still. Those were the facts.
She was fidgeting now.
In her seat, she wriggled beside me, and I hesitated moving the car.
“Yeah, I’m good,” she said, which prompted me to finally start the car. She faced the road as we started to move. “Just anxious I guess. I get to meet your doctor friend so I’m anxious.”
She was anxious as in excited or uneasy? I frowned. “Are you sure you want to go? You don’t have to, and I don’t want you to if doing so will trigger you.”
Messing with her sobriety wouldn’t be a good idea.
“No, I’m okay. I swear.” She started to laugh now, and that fucked with me in a different way.
Gripping the wheel, I headed us toward Peters & Burg, and on the way, Sia informed me she’d been doing well in regard to her triggers. That came up from time to time. Like stated, I’d been spending a lot of time with this girl, and it was natural to hear about what she was going through in her day to day.
I kept my own life closer to the cuff, but I enjoyed hearing about hers. It kept my mind off other things I was dealing with lately, and I had noticed the jellybeans in the cabinet hadn’t been going as frequently. It was good she was getting a handle on things. Really good.
It took effort, but I fought myself from asking Sia more questions during our drive. She did seem nervous, but I needed to lay off. Frankly, I was battling my own triggers at the present. Like the incessant pull I had to look at her every five fucking seconds, or the shit I had gotten up to last night.
Again, it hadn’t been the first time.
It had been a while since I’d given in though, into her. I was dealing with some shit at work and…
Peters & Burg couldn’t come into view soon enough. Sia’s scent kept hitting the breeze, and I thought I might do something stupid like forget this girl was nearly half my age and my daughter’s friend.
“Sia, this is Dr. Barinov,” I said once we made it inside. We were downstairs with the doctor, but nowhere near where I’d previously taken her. The place where bodies were embalmed was in a different part of the facility. We had legitimate operations around here, even though the funeral homes themselves were just a cover.
Sia never asked about that during our time together. Not that I would inform her about the logistics regarding my business. She did like to poke though. I did as well, but I noticed we’d both been doing that less and less.
“Nice to meet you,” Sia said, shaking the doctor’s hand. His assistant, Greta, was with him, and when she winked at me, I lifted my head. I normally didn’t dip my quill in the office ink, but lately, I hadn’t wanted to fuck with the dating apps to get my fix. I had specific needs that sometimes women on the kink apps couldn’t even handle. Greta was aware of my…needs and was very accommodating.
I was seeing my mistake by mixing business with pleasure now though as the woman came over to me. She was older, more mature and certainly fit my type. Not to mention, she was age appropriate…
Glancing away from an approaching Greta, I studied Sia. She was chatting with the doctor. We’d all started to walk the facility a bit, but she and the doctor were in their own conversation so they got behind.
“I had a good time the other night,” Greta said, distracting me from the clear joy Sia was getting by conversing with the doctor. Her whole face was lighting up, but the simple joy I got from her joy was stolen by Greta. Greta grinned. “A real good time.”
I made the mistake of letting her stay at my home recently. I did with my partners from time to time, but I worked with this woman and knew better.
“Hmm,” I said, once again distracted by Sia. I think it was those fucking pants, and unlike Greta, I hadn’t had a good time. In fact, I’d jerked off (after I hadn’t gotten off) following our play session, and that was easy to do once I’d gone downstairs to my computer. I had hours and hours of footage to pull my dick out to, and I was aware of how fucked up that was.
But it certainly hadn’t stopped me from doing it.
This thing with Sia was getting out of control and was turning into a borderline obsession. Breaking her phone and clearing it of all contacts but myself and my staff was one thing, but jerking off to the image of her was another...
I decided to ignore my recent (indecent) time with my computer, and I was forced to engage with Greta when she got close. “I’d love to see you again, Maxim.”
“Unfortunately, I find myself very busy lately,” I said, certainly more politely than I normally would have. “I’ll let you know if that changes.”
Something else I noticed was I wasn’t an asshole when it came to people’s feelings lately. This was obviously Sia’s doing again. Her patience, her kindness…
At this point, Dr. Barinov was leading Sia inside the area where he normally worked. Again, it was clear. I had no intention of exposing her to anything graphic, and when I caught sight of Val, I gestured her over.
Val waved at Sia on her journey over, and I couldn’t thank my head of security enough for helping me find what Sia needed for her hair. I had no idea about even the most basic things she needed. Val definitely had schooled me on things.
“Sia, I’m going to leave you with the doctor, and he can answer any questions you have from here,” I said. I spoke to her, but signed for Val.
Sia’s back had been turned while I was speaking. She’d still be chatting with the doctor, but turned. She might have had a response for me, but rather than wait for it, I headed off with Val to start work for the day. This was partially to avoid Greta, but also to put distance between myself and Sia. We needed distance.
I needed distance.
My head was starting to cloud lately with thoughts of the girl who worked for me, and that was dangerous. It was for many reasons, but the main ones had to do with distractions. My head couldn’t be fucking clouded right now.
“ I’m sorry, Boss, but I couldn’t find anything, ” Val signed as we walked through the facility, something we often did. She’d brief me on interior operations, but lately, I had her working on something else.
She handed me a folder today, and I stared at it. It was a log of children both adopted and not adopted during a certain time period I was interested in. Nothing Val had contained the information I was looking for though.
Acting unfazed, I snapped the folder shut.
“Who is the girl to you?” Val signed before taking back the folder. She popped it under her arm. “Is this something for Natan…”
“This is beyond Natan,” I admitted. Val was as good at catching bullshit as myself, so it was best to stick as close to the truth as possible. “The girl’s father owes me a debt.”
This wasn’t a lie either, so my signs came easy. I told Val to keep hunting, but kept my instruction casual. I even told her there was no rush on getting me the information.
There might not be need for a rush, but that didn’t stop me from asking her to pursue the endeavor. I couldn’t help having her look into certain things for me, paranoid. It might not be warranted, but I didn’t leave loose ends. Never in all my years in the Brotherhood did I do such things. I, Maxim Petrov, didn’t make mistakes.
Except for the one time I had.
I left Val to do her work so I could check in with people who required my attention on the actual business side of, well, my business. There were a lot of moving parts I oversaw for the Bratva, and most of our operations were legitimate. It kept the police from sniffing around and the city’s officials from breathing down our necks.
I was with staff when Val found me.
“You have to see this,” she signed, and after excusing myself, I followed her. My head of security didn’t appear alarmed, but she didn’t look at ease either.
“What’s going on,” I started signing, but stopped. I saw right away what was going on the moment we made it down into my personal workspace.
The room wasn’t empty.
A curly haired woman stood by my knives, a wall of them in front of her.
She’d opened the case.
“What is she doing in there?” I signed behind a two-way mirror. I could see inside the room, but those inside couldn’t see out here. That was its purpose. Sia couldn’t see me.
But I could see her.
She was analyzing my tools under a curious eye, but she didn’t appear frightened. Her hand hovered, not quite touching anything.
I braced the mirror’s frame. I should go in there and rip her out, but for some reason, I was waiting for Val’s response. Sia was in there alone, and Dr. Barinov wasn’t in sight.
“From what I understand, she left the doctor and excused herself to go to the bathroom,” Val signed. “When she didn’t come back I was alerted.”
Sia’s hand lowered, and I did nothing but watch her. Her head cocked at the metal I used to filet skin and saw limbs. But again, she didn’t appear as if she was scared.
I wet my lips.
“What should I do?” Val’s signs were slow, and it wasn’t often I saw one of my most trusted hesitant. She didn’t want to act, but she would if I needed her to. Sia had crossed a clear line by going in there, and in my world, I didn’t allow that. I’d cut off a hand just because Sia got close.
Instead, I had my hands on the mirror frame. I debated how to act as well and definitely tried to ignore certain things. Like how my cock was just as hard as it was when I watched this girl in the shower. I enjoyed watching her touch herself, explore herself.
But her hand around one of my knives…
Envisioning such a thing had me dismissing Val to handle this invasion of privacy myself. I entered the room and got behind Sia, her coconut smell making me want to take one of those knives to her delicate throat. She deserved to be punished for being in here, tempting me… “What are you doing in here, malyshka ?”
She jumped a little, but, curiously, only slightly. The tension was mostly in her shoulders, but she didn’t turn around. Her head tipped, her sight on nothing but the knives.
“What’s this for?” she asked, gesturing to one. She finally faced me when she did, and I noticed the width of her eyes. How big they’d gotten, how fascinated… Her throat bobbed. “Besides the obvious.”
The obvious being I used it to dice and filet? My eyes narrowed. “Why are you in here, Sia?”
It was dangerous for both of us, her being in here, and she didn’t answer me. Instead, she raised her hand as if she would touch one of my tools, and my back straightened.
It did the same time my dick pulsed.
“Each one,” she continued as if I’d never spoken. She resisted the urge to touch and test me further. “What do you use each one for?”
Surely, she knew. Not the specifics of course, but…
I was unsure what she wanted from me in that moment, but I certainly knew what I wanted from her. I wanted to touch her, take a blade and study its gleam against her skin. I wanted to test her and see how far she’d let me go. My demon begged for it, maddened by it.
Reaching around her, I took one of the knives she pointed toward and her breath hitched. She didn’t back away though. Was she not scared? My nose glided along the space above her ear.
“This one is when I don’t want to make it quick,” I said, unsure of why I was saying this to her in my space. There was something about her being here though. It excited me, enlivened me. A noise rumbled in my chest. “When I want them to suffer.”
I did want my clients to suffer sometimes, and not just for the job. It was because I got off on spilling blood just as much as playtime with submissives. I didn’t consider myself a dominant, but I enjoyed a scene in which I got to chase my prey from time to time. I hadn’t always been this way, but once I went that way, I easily found what I liked.
Control.
I was finding it hard in this moment, the blade now against the column of Sia’s neck. I was aware Val could be watching, but for some reason, I was testing boundaries. The thought of spilling Sia Reynolds’ blood disgusted me as much as it drove my cock toward the brink of splitting my fucking pants I was so hard.
I pressed it against her, and the breath she took in fogged the glass door of the knife case. She hadn’t opened it all the way. Her eyes closed. “And when you do want to make it quick?”
What the fuck?
I had her throat in my hand so quick. I could taste this girl she was so close, and my mouth opened. “This one,” I stated, directing her eyes that way with a glance. My hands didn’t dare leave her. I didn’t trust myself not to hurt her or indulge in what I really wanted.
What I’d been wanting for a long time.
These were dangerous thoughts, and though I didn’t know how long I had them, I did know they existed now. I could see Sia in a scene of play, in my bed cut up and spent after I chased her, fucked her. I’d tend to her, one of my favorite parts, then fuck her again once she was ready.
I had to physically keep my monster at bay. I wasn’t ashamed by it, but I didn’t like losing control of it either. How easily I could let it take over.
It was taking over.
I had my hands on a twenty-year-old girl who was my daughter’s friend, and I may have acted on the desire to do more had not my phone rang.
And my daughter’s ring tone sounded.
The soft chirp was like a slap to the face and my cock, sobering me. I pulled away from Sia and took the device out. I answered on a breath. “Hi, love.”
Sia just stood there, blinking too. I was doing the same to come back to myself and was definitely trying to focus on what my daughter was telling me. It took me a moment, but once I heard her, I heard her .
“I’m upstairs, Dad,” she said, laughing. She had a great laugh. Like her mother and the only good thing she got from her. The woman abandoned her child, but at least I got my daughter. Lettie was one I never saw coming, but once I had her, my life was forever changed.
“Sorry, love. What?” I questioned, still trying to get my head back, and by now, Sia was facing me. So much red had hit her cheeks. I wanted to lick it, then spread her out on my bed. It made me sick that I had these thoughts.
She was so innocent.
I had no idea what this was today, but whatever it’d been was a bad idea.
“I’m home. I’m here at your office. Upstairs. Can I come find you?” Lettie continued. “I’m here for the weekend. It was supposed to be a surprise.”
I was definitely surprised, and I think Sia was too. I put Lettie on speaker because I really wasn’t hearing her.
I was now and I immediately left Sia. I literally left her standing there and passed Val on the way. She had been watching us behind the mirror.
I couldn’t determine the look Val was giving, but that was in the back of my mind as I went to look for Lettie. I never allowed her into the burrows of where I worked, and she was the most important thing.
She was all that mattered.