Silent Heart (The Vlasov Bratva #5)

Chapter 13 – Kolya

S omething warm and soft curled into me. It took too many minutes to swim to consciousness, but when I did, I froze. My heart hammered in my throat. That was a woman next to me, but it was too dark to make out any distinguishing features. I ground my molars, wondering what kind of stupidity I got myself into this time.

This was unprecedented. Usually, I tended toward violence when I blacked out. Even with all the black-ops-style jobs I performed over the years, sanctioned, and also the unsanctioned ones, I hadn’t hurt a woman. But I wasn’t myself when I was unconscious. It was impossible to say what I would do. My mind imagined the worst possible ideas. Chest knotted tight with worry, I examined her. Not only was she breathing peacefully, she wasn’t damp and sticky, which made me hope she hadn’t been bleeding.

Did I really find some random hookup?

That hurt a specific place in my chest, as the idea of a very special little water sprite came to mind.

Without any light, it was impossible to say whose bed I found myself in, but my body didn’t seem to care. My dick was hard and pressed tight into her side. He begged to grind against her smooth flesh. She snoozed in the crook of my arm, cheek resting on my chest and leg draped over both my thighs.

She’s clothed.

Careful so as not to wake her, I shifted the stranger off my body. It was dark out, and Harley wasn’t coming for swimming lessons because of the rain.

Which sounded a lot like the…running faucet? I flicked the bathroom light to the dimmest setting to confirm.

Stirring sheets sounded behind me, and I turned back.

“Kole!” The woman sat up in bed, reaching for me.

I knew that voice.

A bolt of relief laced heavily with confusion shot through me. “What are you doing?”

“Me?” Harley protested. “Me!”

“Yes.”

“ You came to me last night. Walked the whole lake to reach me, and then struggled with the storm. I managed to get you home, dried you off, and then—” She stopped abruptly.

“Yes?” I hedged.

“We fell asleep, that was all.”

Probably a good thing. “Why is the sink running?”

“Background noise,” Harley muttered. There was something she wasn’t telling me.

Gently, I tucked my fingers under her chin. She turned into my touch but didn’t meet my gaze through the shadows. “What else.”

“I don’t want to say,” she whispered.

Oh saints, what did I do? I struggled to draw a breath. “I need to know.”

Imagining the worst, I wasn’t prepared for what she said next. Something strange and foreign rumbled up my chest. The feeling was like an explosion of carbonation. A sound, the texture of gravel, clawed out of my throat.

Harley flattened her hand against my sternum. “What the hell is so funny?”

But I couldn’t breathe, I was laughing too hard.

“Kole!” She rose on her knees, sliding her touch to grip my shoulder.

“My alter ego is scared of thunder,” I gasped between bursts of wry laughter. “What a pussy!”

Harley continued to stare at me until the humor died out.

I thought there was no silver lining to my situation. I became a zombie, cursed to be a machine that no one could control. There was nothing good about that, I wasn’t even useful! Turned out, I was wrong. Swinging my legs out of bed, I went to splash water on my face and grab a toothbrush.

Harley sat on the edge of the bed. I felt her steady gaze.

I should tell her . Explain what kept happening to me.

Only then…she’d see my weakness for what it was.

Soft footsteps padded across the floor. “Are you mad?”

“No,” I said gruffly.

“Sure seems like it.” Harley’s voice faded away.

She was leaving. I fisted my hands on the bathroom vanity, staring hard at my reflection. This woman had been nothing but kind to me. And here I was, letting her walk away.

What if she never came back? No one could blame her for not wanting anything to do with me. It was what a creature like me deserved.

Solitude.

Fuck that.

“Wait!” The word came out as a hoarse croak. I launched from the bathroom, mind scrambling to come to grips with the sudden change of course.

Harley was already halfway down the hall. Damn, but she was sexy, wearing my shirt and sweatpants, which were bunched and rolled to fit her smaller frame. My dick tightened greedily at the sight.

“Wait, Harley,” I insisted. My long strides ate the distance.

Her shoulders deflated as her sigh trickled through the air. “I’m sorry, Kole. I crossed a line, especially after you asked me not to. It won’t happen again, I swear.”

I snatched her wrist to stop her. She fell into me, but I was there. I caught her.

My voice was strangled, roughened by desperation. I couldn’t explain it, but the gnawing patter of panic was undeniable. “I said wait.”

Those warm brown eyes gazed up at me. I read uncertainty around the edges, warmth through the irises. But the one thing mercifully absent was fear.

“You said I walked around the lake?” The question was a stall tactic. I couldn’t explain what I felt; I only knew I needed to prevent Harley from walking out that door at all costs.

“Well, you sure as hell didn’t swim over,” she muttered.

Yeah, about that…. It was far more probable that I swam than walked to her.

Harley wet her lips, shifting her weight. My gaze dropped to her mouth. Those pretty lips begged to be sampled.

“Kole? Do you want me to go?” she whispered.

I couldn’t breathe properly. This was too much— she was too much! The thought of her going bothered me more than knowing I’d had yet another episode, one during which I somehow crossed the lake. It didn’t make sense for her to stay. Cutting all ties would be best for her. But the blinding desperation wouldn’t let me release her hand.

And then my lips found hers. Those tiny hands, so much smaller, but no less scarred and calloused, gripped me tightly. Saints! I fucking loved the way she instantly clung to me, as if I were her rock.

Harley kissed me back with an eagerness that left no room for doubt. The seductive little sounds she made, the scent of her invading my nostrils, the feel of her body against mine—giving in banished enough of the doubt and left only the feeling of this being right. Absolute. Destined. I would burn heaven and earth to keep her right here, to preserve this moment for eternity.

But that was only a fantasy.

I tugged Harley’s lip between my teeth, pulling it gently to break the moment. Releasing her, I straightened instead of giving in to a second taste. Her eyes fluttered open, gazing at me with unconcealed lust.

That had to be why I didn’t unwrap my arms.

“Stay for breakfast,” I rasped.

Confusion shifted through her gaze. She couldn’t read my thoughts, but that made two of us. After another moment’s pause, she laughed lightly. “Okay, I will.”

“Good.” I had to peel my touch from her body, so I didn’t lift her.

“Wait! You have food here?” Harley teased, taking a step back and putting the much-needed distance between us. “Real food? Not that camping crap?”

She caught me. Not about to lie to her, I told her the truth, lifting my shoulder in a shrug. “I shopped. I hoped we might wake up together again.”