5. Amber
5
AMBER
“ A re you okay?”
Shelby’s voice made my head pop up. For the past five minutes my face had been buried in my hands, elbows firmly planted on my desk. Out of the hundreds of employees here at Montgomery Enterprises, I was one of the lucky executive assistants who had their own private office. Shelby slipped in and shut the door behind herself.
“No, are you kidding?” Seeing Evan at my house the other day when he delivered the twins’ birthday gift from Jacob and Erin was a shock to my system. Mom had to stay on to help clean things up because I required a hefty dose of alcohol and a hot shower to shake the nerves. What if he’d seen the twins?
“It was nearly eight years ago, Amber…” Shelby walked over and sank into a chair across from my desk and sighed. “Besides, he came home with that bimbo on his arm, and when he left it was on bad terms, remember?”
Shelby was partially right. Jacob confessed to me six months later, when I confessed that Evan was the father of my babies, that the reason Evan had been sent off was because of his philandering, though that wasn’t the official reason. Jacob was embarrassed. I was too. I’d been a part of that, though I didn’t think Jacob had all the facts. But who was I to correct him? Especially when he’d given me a much-needed job…
“Okay, but he’s back, Shelby. And yes, he was back years ago and worked in Crescent Springs, but not here. Not under the same roof. Not with me reporting to him.” I’d been caught off guard by the whole thing, and since this morning when he asked me to work late, I’d been stuck in fight or flight.
“Well, he’s hot. Would it be so bad to entertain him again?” She winked at me, but I wilted. I knew what she meant, and I’d seen the desire in his eyes. While I would love to throw myself at him because that sex was so amazing, I just couldn’t. I had children to think of now. Children I didn’t learn about until after he’d been gone a few months. Children I hid from him with Jacob’s help because Jacob knew how irresponsible his brother had been.
By the time both of us realized Evan had grown up, he had moved on. He was with someone else who worked in the company, and I demanded that Jacob keep my secret. He did so begrudgingly, but with my protection in mind.
“So Vera has to do flash cards with Parker.” I pulled the key out, avoiding her gaze, and slid it across the table. “She doesn’t have to do that, but her homework only takes her like five minutes. So I make her do it instead of me so they collaborate. Then Parker just has a few math sheets to do after that. He’s pretty quick with it. After dinner they can play video games.” I forced a very fake smile and Shelby rolled her eyes as she took the key.
“Are you going to be okay?” Her hand rested on mine and I sighed.
“I have to do what I have to do. It’ll be fine.” My rationalization was covering my nerves, which were betrayed as I tugged on the hem of my suit jacket. I’d seen Evan’s eyes devour me, landing on my hands as my nervous habit appeared again after years of thinking I’d kicked it. He brought that out in me.
“Okay, but if things get weird, you just call me. I’ll bring the kids and come back.” Shelby was my lifeline right now. I hadn’t told Mom about working with Evan yet, and Jacob wasn’t around, obviously. Shelby knew nothing about the kids’ father, so I was just stuck with no outlet for the time being.
I stood slowly and tugged my jacket again cursing myself silently for letting my nerves show. “Thanks for watching them. Hopefully it won’t be late.” I walked around my desk and hugged her, and she left to get the kids from school. I was alone. It was closing time, and Evan was waiting in Jacob’s office for me. There was no more putting this off. I had a job to do, and I couldn’t let Jacob down, not now when he needed everyone around him to carry on and keep things moving smoothly.
I picked up the stack of files and a tablet I’d been using all day to prepare Evan for what lay ahead, and I sucked in a reassuring breath before I walked out of my office and up the hall. My skirt shifted uncomfortably with each step and I wanted to fidget with it, but I knew it would give away my nerves.
When I rounded the corner and walked into Jacob’s office, the scent of Chinese food hit my senses and made my mouth water. All this time and he hadn’t forgotten that kung pow chicken was my favorite. It was set out on paper plates with plastic forks and steaming dishes of dipping sauces next to egg rolls. I dropped my eyes to the sight and then they rose to meet Evan’s azure gaze.
“What’s this?” My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth as I tried to talk, and I probably sounded like an idiot. Had I been baited into a date with him, or was he being cordial since he asked me to work late?
“I thought we’re both working late; it’s almost dinner time. Are you hungry? We should make sure we’re fueled up for this.” His hand gestured at the food spread on the short coffee table by Jacob’s large leather sofa.
It was tempting.
Evan was tempting.
I had missed him. Not a day went by the past eight years where I didn’t think of him. It was hard not to. At first I forced myself not to because every time I pictured him I cried. I thought he was the one. Five months of bliss ended shockingly when he told me he was leaving, that it could be years. I was so attached, so vulnerable with him. And he just left. I could have said something, asked him to stay, but how? And let him give up his future with his father’s company? I knew Jacob was a stickler back then.
“Uh, sure…” My gut roiled. I couldn’t help it. I tugged on my suit jacket when he took the files from my hands and nodded at the sofa. I blurted out, “Those files are everything you need to know. I made a document on the tablet too.” My tongue felt swollen, my hands sweaty. I was so turned on around him even when I told my body to knock it off. He was a blast from the past. Yes, we had sex. But he was my boss now. Here only temporarily to help. I couldn’t let my heart get out of control.
“Thank you,” he said politely, and as I sank onto the couch, I thought maybe he’d sit across from me. I was wrong. Dead wrong. He sat right next to me almost close enough for our thighs to touch. “You smell good,” he said, and my head dipped.
I reached for a plate of food and took a bite so I didn’t have to respond. Things got awkward really fast. I shoveled food into my mouth and tried not to look at him, but he ate slowly, with confidence. He kept looking at me too, watching me. I felt like he was curious, or maybe I was paranoid.
“I’ll be here a while it seems…Jacob may take months to recover.” I nodded and chewed and never said a word. Keeping my mouth full of food wasn’t the most socially acceptable thing to do, but it was safe. Until the food started to run out and I was feeling the pull of chemistry.
Evan clicked his tongue and I looked up at him. His hand reached out and brushed a piece of rice off my lip and I froze. The way the pad of his thumb curled my lip down as I swallowed wasn’t the hot part. It was the way he didn’t shy away from looking into my eyes.
“We have a lot of history, Amber.” His pause punctuated the sentence with sizzling heat. “Do you think we’re going to be able to work together? I could see if Gavin’s assistant would switch…” His hand stayed on my cheek. My eyes dropped to his lips and back to his gaze. I noticed his eyes dropped too. To my chest.
“Uh, no. That’s not necessary,” I said, heaving out a sigh. His hand dropped but I could see the desire in his eyes. This was a horrible idea. I still wanted him just as badly as I had years ago. The same heat stirred in my gut. The same ache in my groin for his face to be buried there. The same yearning in my heart for connection…
My eyes dropped to the table, and I reached for a napkin to wipe my own face. I came in here to help him with his work, not talk about our past. I supposed it was inevitable. There was a lot left unsaid. When he told me he was leaving I just stopped talking to him. It hurt too much. I went through a depression so bad for months that I never even noticed my period hadn’t come for more than twelve weeks. When I came to myself, it was too late. He was gone, and I was pregnant with his twins.
“I’m sorry,” he said, setting his plate on the table. His hand rested on my knee and squeezed softly. His hand spread warmth up my thigh to my groin and I choked back a whimper. How did he still do this to me?
“Sorry?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“For just leaving…You know, we really had something. I thought you might’ve been the one, Amber.” I heard the sorrow in his voice and it melted my heart. But he did leave. He left me and found someone else. I saw pictures of him with the bimbo on his arm and knew even if I wanted to, I’d never have the heart to tell him about his children.
“You had a job.” I heard the hollow tone with which I spoke, but I wasn’t sorry for it. Some of that pain lingered yet unhealed.
“Yes, but I had you, and I threw that away…It’s just that…when I came back and heard you had a baby with someone else…”
Two babies, I wanted to correct, but I said nothing, mostly because panic started rising. He really had no clue. Jacob had done an amazing job at hiding my secret for me, for which I was eternally grateful, but now I was terrified that Evan was going to ask. And what would I say then? What would I tell him truly happened? Hiding something wasn’t the same thing as directly lying. I could never just blurt out the truth. My kids’ futures were too precious for that.
I thought I was going to throw up the food I’d just eaten. His hand squeezed my knee again. I kept my head down and he kept talking about the past.
“I was surprised you moved on so quickly. Kinda hurt by that too.” His hand rose up and touched my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “I shouldn’t have left. When I got there, I knew that. I missed you too much.”
My eyes searched his sincere expression, and I leaned into his hand unconsciously. His palm cupped my cheek, then he ran his fingers over my ear as he tucked hair around it. “It was a real idiot move to leave you.”
I wanted to hit pause, to go back to the moment he asked me if working together was going to be too difficult because I had a new answer for him. No. No it was not. Tears were already welling up in my eyes at his sincere apology, and blinking them back wasn’t working. How long I’d waited for him to say these exact words. It was too late now. Too many years had passed, too long with this buried secret.
“Evan, I …”
“I am sorry …”
The pull was too much. He didn’t let me look away. He forced me to keep eye contact, and when he leaned in and his lips brushed over mine, I caved. I was a damn fool. I caved and let him kiss me, and I poured every ounce of emotion I’d stored up for the past eight years into it. My lips danced over his, relishing the flavor of his dinner and my tears. He bit my lower lip and I rested my forehead against his momentarily.
Until it hit me.
I just kissed my boss.
Panic shot down my chest and I lurched up out of my seat, spilling my plate of food. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I blurted out and tried to run away, but he got off the couch and captured my hand.
I just kissed my boss. Oh God. This wasn’t good.