4. Rose
4
ROSE
A fter getting my soda from the vending machine, I went to the counter and got a ham and Swiss on rye. The day was pretty average. My routine was solidifying, and I felt good about working here. I walked past a table where I recognized a few of the nurses' faces but avoided eye contact. I didn’t want them to invite me to sit with them—not because I didn’t like them, but because I had no time for socialization and hanging out with coworkers could get messy.
I wanted a seat by myself where I could enjoy my sandwich and drink and scroll my phone in peace. As an introvert, having time to myself meant recharging after dealing with forced patient interaction for hours. I soaked up every second of silence and solitude that I could.
In fact, I took out my phone and eyed a table at the back of the room, then buried my nose in my phone screen as I walked that direction. I was so engrossed in my social feed that I didn't see where I was going and clumsily bumped into someone.
I gasped and jerked my head up to see it was the handsome doctor from the parking garage. He looked as shocked as I was at the collision, and I felt my cheeks get hot instantly. I couldn’t stop smiling as I looked up at him, and his grin matched mine. I saw the empty tray in his hand and realized he was headed for the bussing station.
"I'm sorry," I said, and I took a step backward, but I couldn’t look away. His blue eyes were so crystal clear and locked on me.
"It was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going." He nodded at his tray. "Just finishing lunch…"
I waved my sandwich in the air as I slid my phone into my pocket. "I'm just sitting down to eat. I, uh…" I felt my throat swell as anxiety rose and the butterflies took over. The grin on Alana's face when she joked about him jumping my bones flashed through my head, only making my cheeks hotter, and I licked my lips.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked, and I felt like I couldn't speak.
I nodded and stepped aside for him to walk toward the trash cans. When he returned to my side, we walked to the only empty table in the cafeteria way in the back near the vending machines. I sat down and placed my sandwich and drink in front of me, and he sat down too, leaving one chair between us.
"How's your car? Everything running well?" Of course he would ask about my car. That was the entire reason we had met.
"Uh, yeah, it's good. Just left my charging wire plugged in that day…" My fingers shook as I folded open my sandwich, and I knew there was no way I was going to eat this in front of him.
"Good. I'm happy to help. I'm glad I passed through when you were in need." He seemed to relax a little, and I felt a bit flushed.
I wasn't sure what to say next. As such an introvert, I wasn't good at small talk or interacting with people on a social basis. It always left me feeling too self-conscious and vulnerable, so I avoided it at all costs. In my attempt to make this less awkward for myself, I reached for my soda and cracked it open and Dr. Hastings took the initiative to keep the conversation going.
"So, how long have you been working here again? I remember you said something…" His arm draped across the table, and I watched his bicep flex under his scrub top. It made my body warm as I imagined a chiseled physique under all that clothing.
"Uh, well, two weeks. I mean, this is three weeks now. Sorry." I winced, feeling stupid for that mistake. I was so flustered around him.
"Are you settling in and making friends? I could show you around, maybe, introduce you to some people." His offer was so kind, but the one thing I never did was mix work with pleasure. One little tiff outside of work based on someone's bad attitude would leave me in the lurch during work hours when adults got petty. No thanks.
"Uh, yeah, I've met most of my coworkers and I'm good with that. I don't really socialize with people I work with." My words flowed out of my mouth, and I watched a hint of some sort of negative emotion flash across his face before he flashed me a smile.
"Well, that's alright."
"It's just that socializing with people you work with gets messy." I was blurting stupid comments out now. I hated myself for that.
"I understand," he said, just as his phone chimed. I realized I probably sounded like a total jerk.
His eyes were on his phone screen and I felt horrible. He probably thought I meant him too, which I wasn't sure what I meant.
"I mean… Yes, that would be nice. I'm sorry…" My rambling and backpedaling probably sounded like floundering to him, and he raised his eyes to meet mine.
"I have to run. I have a patient. I'll catch you later?" he said as a question as he stood, and I nodded.
Dr. Cole Hastings walked away with a pep in his step, and my God, his ass was perfect. But I wasn't. I was an idiot and might have blown my chance.