Sinful Pleasure (Sinful #1)

CHAPTER 35

C HAPTER 35

MADDOX

Two days later, the urge to deliver the promised revenge burned hotter. I never thought I’d live to see the day when I felt remorse, where I blamed everything on myself to the point where I wanted to smash my own fucking head.

Seeing Allyn collapse on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably in front of Lara’s grave, unlocked something in me.

She was shaking so hard, her cries tearing through the still air, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to take her pain away. That was killing me more than anything else.

I glanced around the small pond nearby.

The last time we were here, I watched Allyn swimming and smiling like I’d never seen before.

Now, I was standing in the same place, watching her cry harder than I thought was possible, kneeling before her friend’s grave.

I’ve taken hundreds of lives—too many to count. The first time I killed, I was sixteen. I’d just gotten my hands into my father’s business.

He made it clear: survival in this world means staying ahead, always winning. And to win, you had to get your hands dirty.

So, I did.

“People are parasites,” my father used to say, “Waiting to harm us, to hurt our family.”

I believed him. Everything I did was to protect us.

I accepted that I was a monster and made peace with it long ago.

But watching Allyn, broken and helpless like this—knowing my family was to blame—was something else entirely. It was an outrage, a feeling I wasn’t prepared for.

Bringing her back here was reckless and dangerous, but I would’ve been damned if I didn’t let her come back to say goodbye.

That’s all she wanted—a chance to bury her friend. And I was willing to risk everything, even my life, to give her that.

Lydia, Angelo, and I had agreed to regroup in New York once we were finished here. But for now, I let Allyn grieve.

I stayed by her side, giving her all the time she needed.

We stayed for hours. By the time we returned to the hotel, she was barely holding herself together.

It wasn’t safe to stay at the house, so Plan B was a hotel for the night. I wasn’t planning on sleeping, though. I will keep an eye on her all night, but she needed to rest.

Allyn lay on the bed now, pretending to watch a movie, but I could tell her mind was somewhere else. Her gaze was fixed on the screen, but she wasn’t really seeing it. It’s maddening how stunning she looks, even like this.

She could wear a damn sack and still be a ten out of ten.

“Aren’t you tired?” Her voice was a soft whisper, her attention shifting to me.

“No.” I adjusted in the chair across from her bed.

“So, you’re just going to sit there and watch me all night?” I nodded. “But I don’t want to sleep.”

“Why?”

Stupid question. I already knew why.

“Nightmares,” she admitted, her voice trembling like a fragile thread about to snap. It felt like another punch to my chest. “Every time I close my eyes, I see Lara. I can’t… I just can’t sleep.”

“If there’s anything I can—” I started but stopped short, sighing heavily. I knew damn well there was nothing I could do to take her pain away, no matter how much I wanted to.

“Actually… there is something you can do.”

Her words cut me off, and I locked eyes with her. I wanted to dive deeper into those eyes, into her, down to her very soul if I could.

She looked defeated, frayed, like she was holding herself together by sheer willpower. Allyn stood and walked toward me, barefoot, wearing only an oversized white shirt that left little to the imagination.

My eyes flicked to her long legs before I forced myself to look away. She kept coming closer, her bare feet brushing against my shoes as she stopped in front of me. Her tear-streaked face held a new intensity, her gaze burning despite the pain.

“Fuck me, Maddox,” she whispered, her voice trembling but firm. “Fuck me until I forget everything.”

My jaw hit the floor. It wasn’t just what she said—it was how she said it. It was the first time I’d heard Allyn use words so raw, so unfiltered.

She’s too innocent, too pure for this. But I can’t ignore the way her words send a spark of heat straight to my chest. It’s not the right time. Hell, it will never be the right time for us.

“Please, Maddox.”

Her voice was a broken plea, the sound escaping between her full, seductive lips as she looked at me through her long lashes. Like she wanted me to ruin her completely.

“I need this. I need you.”

She wasn’t looking for comfort— she was looking for escape.

She wanted me to lead her out of the darkness she’d fallen into. Little does she know I only know how to pull her deeper into the abyss. I don’t know how to save her from it. I’m not the prince in a fairy tale. I’m the villain—the one who drags everyone down and doesn’t get the happy ending.

I buried my desires away as I shook my head.

‘‘I can’t’.’’

Her hand fell to her sides as if defeated.

‘‘Why?’’

‘‘I won’t take advantage of you, Allyn.’’ I said, shaking my head. ‘‘Not now, not like this’’

‘‘So you don’t want me?’’

I laughed, but it didn’t reach my eyes. I despise this girl in ways I can’t even explain.

She pisses me off, pushes every button I have. She’s infuriating. A brat.

But I’d be lying if I said she didn’t have a hold on me.

For fuck’s sake, I haven’t touched another woman since I fucked her the first time. I’ve never gone down on a woman before her. And that’s a point I’m unwilling to admit.

She’s not mine. She can’t be mine. Not in this lifetime anyway.

‘‘Go to bed, princess.’’

That’s it. I’m officially screwed.

Which man in his right mind is turning down a woman like Allyn? A crazy fucked up one.

She nodded too quickly, then swallowed, her cheeks flushed.

I lifted her into my arms, her hand wrapped around my neck as I carried her to the bed. I laid with her until she fell asleep in my arms and at that point, I couldn’t bear to find the strength to move.

I didn’t want to. This way was easier for me to pretend that she wasn’t Angelo’s fiancée. She wasn’t the woman promised to my brother, and I wasn’t her bodyguard.

Cuddled into me, it almost felt like she had been promised to me.

Not Angelo.

Me.