8. Emily
8
EMILY
My legs are trembling so badly that it’s a miracle I’m still standing.
What if Dimitri doesn’t catch this guy? Or worse, what if he does and something happens to him?
I know Dimitri is more than capable of taking care of himself, but this guy is enormous . If he manages to gets his hands around Dimitri’s neck, it will all be over.
My stupid mistake might have just cost Dimitri his life.
A strangled sob escapes me, and I tighten my arms around Zara.
Will she be able to forgive me if something happens to her husband?
“It’s going to be okay, Emily.”
I sob into her shoulder. “You don’t know that.”
“No, but standing around here freaking out about this isn’t helping. Why don’t you go get some clothes on, and I’ll call Mom and Dad to tell them dinner is postponed.”
I almost forgot that I’m wearing nothing but a towel.
“Oh, my god.” I groan, pulling away from Zara and staring down at myself.
“What?”
“Dimitri saw me in a towel.”
“Emily, we have bigger problems to worry about. Come on, go put some sweats on, and then I’m taking you back to the penthouse.”
“What? Why?”
“Because none of us is going to sleep knowing that there’s some psycho out there. So, until all of this is taken care of, you’re staying with us.”
For once, I don’t argue with my sister.
The thought of being alone in this apartment scares the crap out of me, and while I would usually call Danil and ask him to come over, he would immediately know that something is wrong, and I don’t want to tell him what happened.
Not just because I hate the thought of him knowing how irresponsible I was, but because I know he’ll try to go after this guy himself.
If something happened to him because of me…
The thought has my eyes stinging with tears once again, so I quickly head into my bedroom before Zara notices.
When I emerge from my closet wearing a matching pink sweat set, I find my sister standing at the open window and staring down at the street below.
“I called Mom and Dad. I told them the twins came down with a vomiting bug and gave it to all of us. I figure that will be enough to keep them away for a few days.”
“Thanks.” I perch on the edge of my bed and pull on a pair of fluffy socks. “How are you so calm about this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, Dimitri is just… out there, and you have no idea what could happen to him.”
“When you’ve been married to a Koslov for a few years, you soon learn to cope with the anxiety.”
From the deep frown between her eyebrows, I know she must be freaking out.
“Don’t get me wrong, every time Dimitri comes home even ten minutes late, I instantly worry that something bad has happened to him. That he’s got caught in some brawl and is lying in a pool of blood somewhere.”
“Christ, Zara. Why don’t you ask him to stop?”
She turns to face me. “Because I know he would. And I can’t ask him to do that.”
“You’re his wife .”
Zara shakes her head, her blonde hair swaying around her shoulders.
“I would never ask him to turn his back on his family for me. He made it perfectly clear who he was before I married him. I had the chance to walk away, and I chose to love him instead.”
“As I recall, you got married before you fell in love…”
Zara shoots me a glare and goes back to staring out of the window.
“You know what I mean.”
I pull my legs up underneath myself on the bed and watch my sister closely.
“When did you know?”
She glances over her shoulder. “Know what?”
“That you loved Dimitri?”
Zara’s lips twitch as she thinks for a moment, no doubt lost in memories of her early days with Dimitri, back when it was just the two of them.
“Honestly, I don’t think I can pinpoint an exact moment. Those feelings… They grew slowly at first, and then suddenly, one day, I looked at him and…”
“You just knew.”
“Exactly.”
Zara frowns as she looks at me, and I quickly look away, my cheeks burning up as I think of Danil.
What Zara just described is exactly what I’ve been feeling with him.
My feelings have been slowly growing, without me even really realizing, until one day I looked at Danil, and my heart was ready to explode.
Sometimes, I feel like I might die if I don’t have him. But then I think of telling him the truth about how I feel, and him not feeling the same.
The fear of potentially losing him forever has me pushing the feelings back down into the little box inside my heart.
I only hope for my sake that, with time, they’ll diminish completely.
Suddenly, the oven timer rings, making both of us jump.
I get to my feet. “Oh, my god, I completely forgot about the dinner.”
“We can take it with us.”
After Zara and I pack up the roasted veggies and the remaining ingredients for the lasagna, I head into my room to pack up my things. I have no idea how long I’ll be staying at the penthouse, so I load up my suitcases with plenty of clothes and stuffing my backpack full of all my college supplies in case I can’t come back to my apartment for a while.
“I don’t know why you don’t just move into the penthouse with us permanently, or at least, until you graduate.”
We haul my suitcases out to the car.
“Because it’s weird for a grown ass adult to be living with her sister and her husband.” I drop my backpack into the trunk of Zara’s ridiculously massive car.
“I just don’t like the idea of you being stressed about money. Living in New York is expensive, Emily.”
“I’m not stressed about money. Dad has helped me out, and I can always get a job during term time. I’m sure once I’m of legal age, Anton will let me bartend at Espionage on the weekends if I’m really strapped for cash.” I climbing into the passenger seat.
Zara gets behind the wheel. “I don’t like the idea of you working late at a bar. Many kinds of men could follow you home?—”
“You’re turning into Mom, you know that? I know you just want to take care of me, but I’m almost twenty-one, Zara. I can take care of myself, at least for the most part.”
When my sister remains quiet, I glance at her and notice her eyes are welling with tears.
I sigh, reaching for her hand. “Zara… Please don’t cry.”
“I just…I want you to know that I’m here for you.”
“I know that.”
Zara’s throat bobs, and I wait patiently for her to talk.
I can tell something is really bothering her, and it’s rare that my sister is so vulnerable with me because she doesn’t like to worry about me.
Zara glances at me with tears in her eyes. “I suffered alone for a long time because I was too ashamed to say anything, and I don’t want you to make that same mistake. You have so many people who love and care about you, Emily. Don’t forget that.”
“I won’t. And I promise next time, I will ask for help.”
There’s still no word from Dimitri by the time we get back to the penthouse, and I can tell Zara is getting anxious. To distract her from her spiraling thoughts, I set her up in the enormous kitchen with all the ingredients for the dinner and then head upstairs to the guestroom to unpack.
“I’m forgetting why I don’t want to live here,” I mutter to myself as I open the door.
The room isn’t far off the size of my entire apartment, with an enormous bed in the center of the room opposite a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows that give me an incredible view of the sun setting over the New York City skyline.
It’s breathtaking, and for a moment, I just stand and stare at the pink sky.
Until my phone buzzes in my pocket with an incoming call. When I see Jana’s name flashing across the screen, I can’t help but feel a little disappointed.
Part of me hope it would be Danil.
“Hey, Jana, what’s up?” I pad across the room to stand at the window.
“I’m in your neighborhood! Wanna grab some takeout and watching Love Island ?”
I cringe. If I tell her I’m staying at Zara’s, she’s bound to ask questions.
I guess I’ll just have to rip off the band aid. For all I know, she could be experiencing the same thing. After all, she also worked at that party and had plenty of conversations with some seedy men.
Maybe it will make me feel better to talk this through with a friend…
“I would love to, but I’m actually not home right now. I’m staying at Zara’s.”
“Oh, man! Has she roped you into babysitting?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Em, is something wrong?”
“Well…not exactly. Do you remember that guy from the party we worked at together? The one who kept talking to me?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, he’s sort of been…stalking me.”
“What? Are you serious right now?”
I wince at how high her voice has risen.
“Yeah. He’s been leaving lingerie and stuff in my bedroom.”
“Holy shit, Em. This is all my fault. I talked you into working that stupid party and now?—”
“This is not your fault. Jana, listen to me. I chose to work that party.”
“I practically forced you into it!” Jana is almost hysterical right now. “I thought it would be a good way for you to get over Tom and now look at what's happened! Some psycho has been breaking into your apartment. What if you were home?” Jana’s voice cracks, and I tense.
I know she’s feeling terrible right now, and I don’t want to make it worse by admitting that I did in fact come face-to-face with a strange man when I was wearing nothing but a towel.
That seems more like need-to-know information.
“Jana, I’m a big girl who can make her own decisions. You didn’t force me to do anything, so please don’t blame yourself. Besides, I’m completely fine. I’m just being cautious, so I’m staying with Zara for the time being.”
“I-I’m so sorry, Em. Is there anything I can do?”
“Honestly, I’m fine. Just do me a favor and stay away from my building for a while. At least, until it’s safe.”
“Okay, will do.”
“Oh, and Jana?”
“Yeah?”
“You work those parties more often. I don’t suppose anything like this has happened to you, has it?”
“No, but then again, I don’t have the whole girl-next-door thing going for me like you do. I would say you should take this as a compliment, but that would make me a terrible friend, so I’m not going to.”
“Yeah, no.”
I’m not that starved for male attention that the idea of a stranger sending me lingerie and threatening to kidnap me turns me on.
“Have you told Danil?”
I stare out at the city below, wondering where Danil is right now.
“No. And I want to keep it that way.”
“You sure? I know Danil would want to know.”
“Which is exactly why I don’t want to tell him. So, if you run into him for any reason, please keep this to yourself.”
“Fine. But only if you promise that you’ll call me in the morning?”
“I promise.”
After hanging up the phone to Jana, I decide to distract myself by unpacking all of my clothes into the giant walk-in closet, as well as setting out all my toiletries on the vanity in the bathroom. I eye the jacuzzi bath, and I’m tempted to take a quick soak trying to relax my tense muscles, but it seems my stomach has other ideas from how loudly it growls.
“Fine, I’ll eat something first,” I grumble out loud.
But when I leave my room and head down the hall, the sound of Dimitri’s voice carries up the stairs, and I freeze.
He’s back.
Does that mean he’s taken care of the guy?
Is this nightmare finally over?
I creep along the hall until I’m hovering at the top of the staircase that leads down into the main living area.
His voice reaches me again. “Where’s Emily?”
“She’s in the guest room, unpacking.”
“Is she okay?”
Zara is quiet for a moment.
“A little shaken, but she’s okay. I think it’s best if she stays with us for a while.”
“I agree.”
“So, what happened? Did you catch him?”
I hold my breath as I wait for Dimitri’s reply. Maybe I won’t need to unpack after all…
“He got away.”
My stomach sinks, and my hands cover my mouth. “Oh, my god…”
He’s still out there.
Dimitri’s voice carries to me again. “But I will look into this; don’t worry.”
“Thank you for helping my sister.”
“She’s family.”
I turn and head back into my bedroom, the weight of my past mistake sitting heavy on my shoulders.
I hate that I was the one to drag Zara and Dimitri into this mess. I never should have taken that hostess job. If I hadn’t been so proud and just accepted some help from Zara in the first place, none of this would have happened.
I climb onto the enormous bed that feels like I’m sitting on a cloud and pull my phone out of my pocket. I’m desperate to call Danil and confess everything to him, but I know the moment I hear his voice, I’ll break. So, I settle for sending him a text, hoping that talking to him will distract me from the mess I’ve gotten myself into.
Me
Hey, are you at work?
The three dots appear almost immediately, and a sense of relief washes over me. Talking to Danil never fails to make me feel better, and I’m almost tempted to call him and see if he wants to come over. But there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to stay composed long enough for him not to realize something is wrong.
Danil knows me better than anyone, and I can’t risk him finding out about my stupid mistake.
Danil
Just heading to the bar now :) Shouldn’t you be asleep?
Me
It’s only eight thirty…
Danil
Exactly ;)
Me
I’m not that much of a grandma!
Danil
I had fun at lunch today… I always enjoy our little catch ups. Same time next week?
Me
Definitely!
I cringe at how eager I sound after I hit send.
Me
I wanted you to know that I’m staying at Zara’s for a bit. I’m having some maintenance done on my apartment.
I watch the three dots appear and disappear a few times, and I tense.
Can he tell that I’m lying?
Danil knows me well, but surely not that well?
Danil
Good luck trying to study with the twins running around…
I let out a breath of relief and quickly type out a reply.
Me
It will be interesting, that’s for sure!
Danil
I’m happy to come and entertain them so you can study.
Me
That’s really sweet, but you don’t have to do that.
Danil
I want to. They love hanging out with Uncle Danil. Besides, you know I’ll always help you. All you have to do is ask…
Me
I know.
Danil
Do you????
I roll my eyes as another message comes through.
Danil
I can literally feel you rolling your eyes at the screen!!!
I can’t help but laugh. He knows me too well.
Me
I PROMISE I’ll ask for help…
Danil
Good, now get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. x
I love it when Danil puts a kiss at the end of his messages. I know it likely doesn’t mean anything, but the way my heart flutters in my chest makes me wish it did.
The more I get to know Danil, the harder it is to ignore the fact that I’m developing feelings. There isn’t a side to him I don’t like, and that both excites and terrifies me.
If only I could work up the courage to actually do something about it…