Chapter 38
38
GRANT
February
“You’re perfect,” Tessa murmured, laying languid next to me. I smiled, pulling the blanket up and over our bodies, mostly because looking at her scar still reminded me of how close I’d come to losing her.
“That’s the orgasm talking,” I replied. She tilted her head back until our eyes met, a sweet smile on her face I wanted to kiss.
“It’s not,” she protested. I leaned in to capture the kiss, and her smile deepened. “Maybe it is a little,” she conceded, her hand dropping down to the waistband of my underwear. I shimmied back and away from her.
“I don’t want you exerting yourself,” I said, wishing she’d stop making me argue against her touching me when all I wanted was to feel her body wrapped around mine. Her lips twisted in a frown and she reached for me again. “Tess.” My tone was bordering on desperate whine now, I could hear.
Tessa sat up, holding her hands up so I could see both. “I promise not to touch,” she said. “Just lay flat and take your underwear off.”
I sighed, but I did as she said, rolling onto my back and shucking my underwear. “No blowjobs either.” I could so easily imagine her hot mouth around my dick, and it jumped at the thought, straining closer to the promise of heaven.
“I promise, no blowjobs.” Tessa looked on the verge of laughter. “How much do you hate yourself for saying those words?”
Immeasurably. I wanted her so badly I could barely think, and had I not been truly afraid for her safety, I would’ve already been inside her. “They’re not my favorite words,” I admitted, my voice strained.
“Touch yourself.”
“Tess,” I growled. I’d beaten off countless times since the accident, and having an audience to it hardly seemed better. I inhaled deeply, willing my hard-on to die down so Tessa would let it go.
She stretched out next to me, her lips puckering out into a delectable pout. “I did it for you,” she complained.
“You did it with me,” I corrected. “There’s a difference.”
“ This is with me,” she said, running her fingers along my jawbone. “You’re just showing a lack of imagination.” Her lips captured mine and I yielded to her, my jaw going soft under her demanding touch, trying to relax enough to get to whatever place she wanted me. She pulled back the covers so we were bare, then leaned close to my ear. Her voice was a whisper, and my eyes fell closed at her first command. “Show me how to get you off.”
I wrapped my hand around my dick, but it felt strange to jerk off for Tessa, and I hesitated.
“When I touch myself, I think of you,” she whispered. “I think of all the ways you’ve fucked me—that first night up against the wall, in your car, over the arm of the couch or on your countertop—” I whimpered, and she pressed her lips to mine, drawing my free hand up to her breast. “There have been so many places, Grant. Which do you like to think about?” she whispered into my ear.
My breath was coming quick as I made long strokes up and down my cock. I’d thought about every one of those nights, but I surprised myself when I replied, “The first night. The wedding.”
She hummed in my ear sexily. “I like to think about that night, too, except, in my fantasies, we never get interrupted. You push me up against the wall and I wrap my leg around your waist. I can feel your thick, hard cock and I want it.”
I groaned, and she paused her retelling. “Don’t stop,” I begged, clenching my eyes closed, still remembering the feel of her in that moment.
“You felt so good, pressed against me through my panties, and I wanted more of you—all of you. I slipped out of my panties and put them in your pocket—do you still have those?” she asked, her voice a purr at my ear.
“God, yes,” I replied, my voice a stilted whisper.
“Good,” she said on a sigh. “I tucked those panties into your pocket and you lifted my leg high and pressed me into the wall as you filled me up with that cock.”
I remembered the sensation as if it were happening in this moment, and I moaned, pressing my lips to hers in a frantic kiss as my strokes became a quick staccato.
“You felt so good, Grant. Deep strokes that filled up every inch of me, and I wanted you so bad. Do you know how wet I was for you? How wet I am right now?”
“Tess, Tess,” I groaned as my balls tightened and I felt the first surge of my orgasm.
“Yes,” she moaned in my ear. “Just like that. I love the way you fuck me.”
My abs flexed in the last few moments of my orgasm and I struggled to catch my breath.
“See?” Tessa said brightly. “That was still fun, right?”
“Fuck, Tess,” I groaned, sitting up and pressing a kiss to her lips. “That was more than just fun. You’re amazing. And dirty—Christ, woman, you’re dirty.”
“Literally, yes,” she replied, gesturing to her chest, where much of my orgasm had hit.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I said, standing quickly, though the sight made my now-soft dick jump in consideration. It was hot as hell. “Let me get you a towel.”
She sat up, blinking innocently. “How about we both just take a shower?” she suggested, and I shot her a look. She put her hands up again, but grinned wickedly this time. “No hanky panky, I promise.”
I pulled her up with one hand until she knelt on the edge of the bed near where I stood. “Are you wet right now?” I asked, my voice low and sandpaper rough.
Tessa swallowed hard. “Absolutely. Seeing you get yourself off was incredibly hot,” she replied, the words barely a breath against my skin.
My lips tilted up into a smile and I leaned in close. Tessa swayed toward me, but I kept the distance between us as I spoke. “Well, if you can sit on the bench and keep your hands to yourself, I’ll give you a shower you’ll want to add to your list of memories.”
Her eyes were bright, lips cocking up into a smile as she raised her hands up in the air. “I’m all yours, Grant.”
“Goddamn right you are,” I growled, taking her hand and hurrying us to the shower.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I said as I walked into the living room, where Tessa lay curled under a blanket, reading a book. Next to her, the Christmas tree glowed a lovely white.
“Hey you,” she said, blinking up at me as if it was the first she’d looked up in a while. “I know you’re a reformed grinch, so maybe you aren’t aware that most people take down their tree before February.”
I loved the way Tessa felt totally comfortable ribbing me. She had for as long as I could remember, since before Ethan and Nora’s wedding, and it was one of my favorite things about her. “I’m aware of that, yes, but you like it, and we had to take down the one at your house early to fit the bed when you first came home.”
“Are you keeping this out for me?” she asked, her eyes wide and all the humor erased from her expression.
“Of course,” I said, sitting down next to her. I lifted my arm up and she nestled against my chest. “Honestly, though, you’ve made me a convert. I enjoyed every day of the Christmas season until Christmas Day.”
“Christmas will be better next year,” she assured me.
I chuffed out a dry snort. “The only woman I’ve ever loved dumping me and getting hit by a car is a pretty low bar, Tess.”
“Yeah, agreed. We can do better next year.” She sighed, cuddling closer to me, and I tightened my hold around her shoulders. “So, how long do you plan to leave the tree up?”
I shrugged a single shoulder. “Forever, if you like it.”
She chuckled. “You’re ridiculously sweet, but it wouldn’t be special if it was out year round. I’ll help you put it away this weekend, if you’d like.”
“You don’t have to help.”
“It’s the least I can do. I was the one who bought you a chore ,” she said, and I smiled at her use of my words.
I propped my chin on her head, looking at the tree, surprised to realize I was going to miss it a little. “Colin Burns called me today.” I felt her tense where she lay, and she slipped out from under me to better see my face.
“What for? You told him you weren’t interested in the surgical position, right?”
I tipped her chin up, landing my lips on hers for a tender kiss. I hated that she had even a single doubt about me choosing her—every time, always. “I told him I wasn’t interested in moving back down to the city, but my feelings about surgery were muddier, and I didn’t say much on the subject.”
She lay a hand on my cheek, leveling her eyes on mine. “I know I’m not the only reason you feel tied to Bridgeport, Grant, but if I’m even part of the reason, you should know I’d choose you. I’d choose you in Bridgeport or in the city or halfway across the world doing Doctors without Borders. You don’t have to stop being passionate about surgery to be passionate about me. I’ll go where you go.”
I cupped her chin, running my thumb over the rounded apple of her cheek. “You’re amazing, Tessa. You know that?” She didn’t answer my question, instead staring at me with wide, expectant eyes, and I knew she was bracing herself for whatever I said next. “Colin wanted me to consider working at the hospital in Cranberry Falls—Morris County Hospital.” Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully, but she said nothing, so I continued. “Apparently, County was just acquired by Northeastern Medical—that’s who owns Pine Valley. Colin said they want to expand the facility from a Level III Trauma Center to a Level II, and they’d asked him to be the new Chief of Surgery.”
“So…” she began slowly. “You could be a surgeon and stay in Bridgeport?”
“Theoretically, yes. Or move to Cranberry Falls to limit the commute. That would help on on-call days.”
“And, would you want to move to Cranberry Falls together?” she asked tentatively.
“Oh, goodness, no,” I replied without thinking. Tessa’s face fell. “That’s not what I meant, Tess,” I rushed to add. “While you were recovering after surgery I talked a lot with Cole, and he reminded me what working in the hospital was really like. It’s fast-paced, sure, but all that speed rushes you right past your life. Going to work at County means giving up time with you now and time being a dad later. I don’t want that.”
Her brow was furrowed. “So you don’t want to go back into surgery?”
My lips tilted up thoughtfully. “I never thought I’d get the opportunity again, but now that I have, the answer is surprisingly easy.”
“You want to stay here and fully take over Dupree Family Medicine?”
I hadn’t put that much thought into it before this instant, but suddenly my brain was buzzing with a whole different future from the simple one I’d envisioned. “Maybe not,” I replied. “Do you mind if I go make some calls? I had an idea.”
Tessa looked alarmed as I stood up. “An idea?”
I was already to the doorway of the living room, but I paused. “Bridgeport ideas—” I assured her. “Making the kind of forever that I could be excited about. I have to make some calls, but I liked what you said.”
“What did I say?” Tessa asked.
“Moving in together. Move in with me. Here. You already love my duvet.”
She opened and closed her mouth for a minute, looking entirely perplexed.
“Think on it, okay? No rush if you don’t want to. I’m not going anywhere.” I held up one finger in a wait gesture. “Well, I’m going to make some calls, so, you think about that and I’ll fill you in on everything in, like, an hour. Can you order dinner?”
I left her gaping at me in the living room and crossed the house to my den, sliding the door shut behind me. Pulling out my phone, I hit the button for Cole as I plopped down on my leather chair.