20. Morning Serenade
Maybe with time, I’ll resent how early the cows wake, or maybe I’ll take Trevor up on the offer of staying in bed while he tends to them, but my glasses are so rose tinted, any moment I can spend with the hulk, I’ll grab with both hands. As does Adam.
“Do the cows like song?” he asks and pushes the rolled-up sleeve of his overall up to his elbow.
“Their milk will probably be even sweeter with song,” Trevor replies, all serious.
“Yey!” My son smiles happily, and his shoulders push back as he takes a deep breath.
“What have you done?” I whisper-yell to Trevor as Adam belts out as loud as he can to the cows, missing just as many notes as he hits, with made-up words replacing the lyrics he doesn’t know.
Trevor steps behind a partition to hide how his body is shaking with laughter. I join him as a cow moos – whether it is in appreciation of the song or in protest is anyone’s guess.
“I hope he’s got his singing voice after his mother,” Trevor jokes.
“You’ll find out when I sing you a lullaby tonight.”
His eyes darken and his tone drops. “I think I’ll stick to the music of hearing you scream my name.”
“Yeah?” Heat bursts in my groin, making me bold. I step close and whisper against his lips, “I can’t wait for the day when I’ll scream for you to fuck me… harder.”
Trevor’s eyes turn pitch black. “Jesus, Jamie.” His growl vibrates through his lips and his large hand on my hip anchors me to him. I open up for his tongue. It’s not even seven in the morning and already I long for nighttime.
“Are you kissing?”
Shit-shit-shit!
I quickly step away from Trevor, ice chilling my boiling blood.
My son is staring up at me in confusion, the John Deer cap perched precariously on his head.
“I-um… Yes?”
“Why?”
I feel the intensity of Trevor’s gaze on me as I look into my son’s big brown eyes. Words are tumbling around my brain, excuses, distractions, lies. I swallow tightly. “Trevor is Dad’s boyfriend.”
Trevor’s shoulders drop yet I still hold my breath, dreading my son’s reaction.
“Oh.” Adam cocks his head, and his pale eyebrows draw together. “Like Mum has a boyfriend?”
“Yes.” I nod.
“And I have Rosie,” he adds.
“Yep, you have Rosie.”
“Okay.”
“O-okay?”
He looks up at Trevor. “Can I give Rosie some more hay?”
“Sure you can,” Trevor says, his tone full of warmth.
“Yey!” Adam grins and skips across the room.
One eye on Adam, I glance up at the hulk beside me. He grabs my hand and squeezes it. “You’re shaking.”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you for being honest with him. It… it means a lot to me.”
“I’ve promised myself not to live a lie anymore, but…” I huff. “But for some reason, I didn’t expect to have this conversation with Adam for a few years yet.”
“Now that it’s done, you don’t have to dread it.”
“True.”
We’re quiet for a while, watching Adam select straws from the mountain of hay. Thankfully, he’s stopped singing.
“It’s a bit scary how quick things have developed between us,” I whisper.
“It’s scary for me too,” Trevor admits. He’s still holding my hand securely in his. “We’ll take it slow, Jamie. But… nothing has ever felt so right.”
Those clear blue eyes sear into mine. I blink rapidly and can’t hold back the words tumbling from my mouth. “I think I love you, Trevor.”
My eyes are not the only ones glassy. “Your son beat you to it.” Trevor’s voice is hoarse past his smirking smile. “I love you too, city boy. Couldn’t stop if I tried.”
“She’s kissing me!” Adam squeals from across the room where Rosie’s long tongue licks his hand.
I laugh and then release a deep sigh of contentment. “Yeah, nothing has ever felt this right.”