Single Mom’s Guide to Love (Guide to Love #2)

25. Logan

25

logan

“Logan Matthews. We need to talk.”

I lean back against my rental car, which is parked outside the small executive airport in Los Angeles as Maeve walks toward me, fresh off her trip from Nashville on the private plane I’m renting.

And probably buying.

“What’s that, Love?”

She shakes her head. “Don’t you ‘Love’ me. A private plane? What happened to my frugal billionaire?”

I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek before taking her suitcase to stow in the car. “Still frugal. But I’m not frugal when it comes to your safety.”

“Safety? Logan, the press has realized I’m boring. We haven’t seen a camera in days. I’m pretty sure I would’ve been fine with commercial.”

“Didn’t want to risk it,” I say as I come around to open her car door. “But you’ve got to admit, it was nice, wasn’t it?”

She tries to fight the smile, but it’s a losing battle. “It was really nice. I had a full desk to work, and I wasn’t battling for tray space with my laptop and my drink. I could stretch my legs, and I slept for a half hour and didn’t have to worry about snoring. Oh, and I’m pretty sure you did this, but having Diet Coke and popcorn on it for me was a nice touch.”

“Glad to hear you enjoyed it,” I say as I get back into the car to start making our way to the hotel.

“Can I ask you something?”

I look over to Maeve, who looks less stressed than she has in days. Maybe this little getaway will be good for her. “Anything.”

“I know how you grew up, which is horrible, and that’s not what this is directly about. But I’ve heard of so many people who didn’t have money, got a few bucks, and blew through it in a few months. But not you? Didn’t you suddenly want to spend all this money you never had?”

“Wanted to? Of course I did,” I say, remembering back to the first time that I had multiple commas in my bank account. “In fact, when I received my first large earnings, I went out and bought a brand-new car.”

“As you should have,” Maeve says. “You earned it.”

“That’s what Kat said when I came home and immediately felt guilty. I beat myself up for days about it. It was a nice car. Expensive for me, but not exorbitant. I just felt so selfish.”

“Not selfish. Not when you’ve earned it.”

“In my head, I know that. It was just hard to turn that switch in my brain,” I say. “Kat had to sit me down and say that it was okay to spend some money. And if I was going to feel guilty on splurges, then to make sure I had reasons behind them. And if I didn’t have good reasons, then don’t do it.”

“And you never had a good reason for a plane?”

I shake my head. “It felt wasteful. It was just me and Kat who would’ve been using it. Maybe an occasional board member, if they asked nicely.”

“But now?”

I look over to my wife and shoot her a wink as we start to approach the hotel. “Now I have a reason.”

As we pull into the hotel, I want to pull right out. It’s a beautiful California day, and I want nothing more than to rent a convertible, put the top down, and drive down the Pacific Coast Highway with my wife. I want to put my hand on her thigh and let our problems fly in the wind. Maybe stop and sit at the ocean, Maeve in my arms as we just sink into the peacefulness of the waves. Skip the gala tonight. Forget about my work problems. Forget about the custody case.

Forget that this is fake.

The rope I’m walking with Maeve is thin right now. Not in terms of how we’re getting along—that’s been splendid. There’s a pull between us that’s always been there, but was easier to keep at bay when we were just designer and client.

But since she moved in? Since I see her every day and we’ve now shared things that are vulnerable and real? The pull is so strong I don’t know how much longer I can stay away.

I want her. I want her more than ever.

I want her to be my wife, in every sense of the word.

We don’t say much else as we get to the hotel and step into the elevator for the penthouse. This is the first time we’ve been in a lift together since that first night, and I can’t help but notice that Maeve is conveniently standing on the other side of the car from me.

“Why are you over there?” I tease.

“No reason.” Those might be her words, but she said it while staring down at her phone, refusing to make eye contact with me. I could tease her about it, but it’s probably safer if I let that one go.

Especially because she’s not going to be happy when she walks into the one-bedroom suite.

“Logan?”

“Yes?”

“Care to tell me where the other bed is?”

Here we go…

“There isn’t one.”

Maeve’s face morphs from confusion to anger in less than a second. “Excuse me? Don’t penthouses have multiple bedrooms?”

“Some do. Some are one bedroom,” I say, guiding her to sit down. “I should’ve warned you, but it slipped my mind until just now, and I apologize for that. But Kat didn’t want anyone taking anything out of context if the paparazzi did some non-ethical digging, and they could make a headline out of something like ‘Logan Matthews and new wife already need separate bedrooms.’”

“That’s a shitty headline.”

“I know,” I say. “But we’re just being cautious. I promise, Love. This has nothing to do with anything except keeping up appearances.”

Her shoulders relax a bit as my words sink in. “You’re probably right. And we’re adults. Right? We can share a bed and have nothing happen.”

I raise an eyebrow. Really? She can just sleep next to me and not be affected whatsoever? Am I the only one who feels this? I know I’ve always been ahead of her when it comes to us, but I thought, or maybe foolishly hoped, that she was coming around. But the way her face is leveled and her tone is even, it’s like we’re back to designer and client.

Which is not where I’m at. Not one bloody bit.

“Maeve, respectfully, I’m going to be sleeping on the sofa.”

“Really? Come on, Logan. We can be?—”

I put my finger to her lips. “Maeve, if I’m in bed with you, I can’t promise that I’ll be a gentleman. Knowing my wife is next to me? The woman I can still feel if I close my eyes and think hard enough? Being in a bed with you and not be able to touch you, or hold you, or kiss you, would be pure torture. I know you’re not ready. I don’t know if you’ll ever be. And that’s fine. But for my sanity, and to respect your boundaries, I’ll be on the sofa. Because I’m just a weak man who wants his wife more than he wants air to breathe.”

I lean in to Maeve and place a soft kiss on her cheek before stepping back. “I’m going to get in the shower so you can have the bathroom for as long as you need to get ready for tonight.”

She nods, her eyes averted from me as I make my way to the shower. Do I regret what I said? No. I needed to vocalize it. But, the wishful thinker in me was hoping for a different reaction.

I flip on the shower and wait until I can see the steam before getting undressed and stepping inside. I let the hot water run down my back as I hang my head underneath the shower head, wondering how the hell I got here. And how Maeve and I went from strangers in an airport to bedmates to husband and wife? Thinking back on every tiny moment and event that led us to here almost feels like a dream.

Except it’s not. This is real. My feelings for her are real. And I can only hope that maybe one day she might feel the same way.

I think about picking my head up and beginning to actually bathe myself when I feel a rush of cold air hit my back. When I turn around I’m shocked to see Maeve—completely naked—stepping into the shower with me.

“Maeve? Are you all right?”

She doesn’t say a word as she steps toward me, cupping my face and bringing me down for the most unexpected kiss of my life.

My wife is kissing me…

The second our lips touch, my arms are around her, bringing her into my chest. I feel the hot water running around us, sluicing off as our lips sync in perfect harmony.

It’s hungry and needy, yet passionate and wanting. Not too hard, and definitely not too soft.

Bloody perfect.

I let my hands move up her body, holding onto her wrists as we slowly pull away, our foreheads still touching.

“I don’t want to be scared anymore,” she says. “I don’t want to be stubborn. I don’t want to miss out on things because I dug my heels so far into the ground that they’re stuck forever.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know,” she says as I push back a piece of wet hair from her face. “But then I feel out of control, which usually freaks me out so bad I reverse it and dig in even harder. I see that now. You’ve made me see that.”

I use my thumbs to push away the water from her eyes, knowing that she’s not done. Which is fine. I’ll stand in here with her all day.

“You’ve made me see a lot, Logan. You’ve made me realize my life doesn’t begin and end with my career. Or with Jayce. That if I lean on someone, that’s not admitting weakness. It’s allowing for help, which lets you experience more. I knew that in the back of my head, but I could never come to the realization of how much I was missing out on because of my control issues.”

“Glad I could be of service.”

She laughs softly but balls her fists together as she rests them on my chest. “I don’t know how to do this. And even as I’m saying that I want to, I know I need to take this slow. I’ve never conventionally dated. My first marriage was nothing to write home about. And now my second only happened because of circumstances. I’ve never gone into a situation more blind than I am right now. My head is wondering what the hell I’m doing. But for the first time in my life, my heart is winning the battle, and I now realize I’d be the most stubborn woman on the planet if I didn’t listen to the winning team. Me and you.”

I know I should say something. Anything to reassure her that the last thing I want to do is hurt her. But all I want to do is kiss her.

And so I do. I kiss her with every ounce of affection, emotion, and dare I say love, that I have for her. I kiss her to let her know I’ll take care of her. Her heart. Jayce. Anything else that life throws at us.

“If it makes you feel better, I don’t know what I’m doing either,” I say. “I never thought I wanted a family. Christ, until a few years ago, every ounce of my energy was on SpaceCraft and nothing else. We’re not that different, you and me.”

“Oh we’re very different,” she says lightly. “Which is another reason my head is still way behind the heart on this one.”

“Well then, let me convince it.”

I bring her to me and turn her toward the water, letting the warmth hit her as I’m sure she has to be freezing. While her body is warming, I let my hands graze over her perfect curves.

“Yes, our ages are different. Our backgrounds are different,” I begin, not being able to help myself as my hands graze over her perfect breasts. I fight down my cock, because it’s not the time and place. “Right there should be enough for us to realize this might not work.”

Maeve’s eyes close and her head falls back, resting on my shoulders. I let my hands continue to run over her body, hoping to guide her to the relaxation she probably desperately needs right now.

“But what’s more important is that, besides our differences, we understand each other. I know that you like to be in control, but there are times you need things off your plate, even if you refuse to ask.”

“And I probably never will,” she cracks, eyes still closed.

“I’ve come to learn that. But that’s okay. I know you, Love. And I’m going to keep learning about you. Just like you’re going to learn that I will lock myself away for days when I feel stuck, thinking that I need total isolation for a breakthrough.”

“When all you really need is someone to talk you through it…”

My eyes close as I pull her in tighter, remembering how much she helped me the other night when I was going through that exact feeling. “Precisely. So yes, we might be different. But we’re both driven individuals. We want to be the best. We love a challenge. But most importantly, we want to make sure everyone around us is happy, even at the expense of our own happiness.”

“Especially at our expense,” Maeve adds.

“Because as long as everyone else is happy…”

“Then so are we.”

Holy shit, that’s it. Suddenly, everything in my life is clear as day. I wanted to make my parents happy, and I thought good grades and being the best would do it. I even developed a video game in hopes of earning their praise, believing my mind would be the glue to bring them peace. I dated women for months because I couldn’t fathom my board and my company being disappointed in me for not having the next big thing—even though I was miserable the entire time.

And Maeve? She married Josh because she thought it would be best for Jayce. She prides herself on being in charge of her family, even if it means bending over backwards. She only has a few members on her staff, and those are only for jobs that are painstaking and expansive. I’ve heard her say the words “I’ll take care of that,” more than I’d like during the decorating process.

Two opposites on the outside. But inside? More alike than even we knew.

Maeve and I don’t say anything else as we let the hot water rush over us. I pump some of the hotel shampoo into my hand, lathering it together before running it through her brown locks. I massage her head, which I’m guessing she likes as she keeps leaning into my touch every time I apply pressure, before turning her to rinse it out. She returns the favor for me, though she decides to fill her hands with body wash, running her hands over every inch of my body.

“Fuck, Love,” I say as she strokes my cock. I turn into the water, wanting the suds off me as Maeve’s hand keeps working me.

“Logan?”

“Yes. Like I’ve said before, whatever you want, the answer is yes.”

Her giggle is infectious, and I truly don’t know if I’ve ever heard that sweet sound before. “The event we’re supposed to go to tonight…how important is it?”

“To Kat, it’s a huge deal. To me it’s just another fundraiser; they want my money more than me.”

Her smile gets a little bigger. “So how much trouble would we get in if I suggested that we skip it and spend the night here, just the two of us?”

My wife is a damn genius. “I’ll double my donation. And it’ll be money well spent.”

Her giggle turns into full-on laughter as I pick her up in my arms and pin her against the wall of the shower. Her legs wrap around me, as do her arms, as water rains down both of our faces.

I still have soap on me. She probably has some in her hair. Neither of us care. Our lips find each other, and suddenly, despite everything going on in our lives, we’re able to find a different kind of calm in the chaos.