Sinner’s End (Forgotten Shadow Lords #1)

Chapter Thirty-Four

One Without

Adreana

Have you ever lived a moment and it felt like everything was in high speed? That’s what the last hour of my life feels like. I can’t pinpoint a single moment that stands out above the rest because everything is one big blur, like my life has become a flowing river with no distinguishable characters.

What I do know is that the sex has gone from intense and passionate to indescribable. Mana finally has free reign to fuck me the way he has always intended, and I swear I thought I was going to die from the pleasure overload.

All three of my men have taken their time fucking me, binding us together. And even though I love them all, there is an ache in my heart that won’t fade. A longing for the person not here anymore. My soul calls out to Bowen. I don’t know what happened exactly, but I do know that Lethe wouldn’t have killed them if there had been any other choice.

It’s like my heart conjures him out of nothing. One minute I am panting, trying to get back to being myself, Lethe still resting between my spread thighs. The next, Bowen stands above us.

The joy I feel in this moment is tantamount to another orgasm. My soul sings at the sight of him even if he looks different. I take in the changes. His eyes are the color of onyx, a pale slash scarring his throat. His hair and wings have darkened to near pitch-black and his clothing reflects the change.

It’s strange in a sense to see my angel, who is always so snarky and sarcastic, standing there stoically. A seriousness I never would have thought possible for Bowen radiates from his entire being. I can’t drag my gaze from his, even as I feel the tension in the room rise around us.

Bowen holds out his hand to me and not for a split-second do I hesitate before placing my palm in his.

An instant later, I am no longer in Harken. Instead, Bowen and I stand in the graveyard beside Sinner’s End. Awareness and fear skitter across my exposed skin and I instantly lean closer to him. I remember being here and everything that transpired and it sure as fuck isn’t an experience I want to repeat. A shiver works its way through my body, shaking my entire frame before Bowen drapes a fluffy black robe around my shoulders.

“We need to talk,” he says gesturing to the cement steps of a crypt. “There are many things I need to explain and this is one of the few places Mana cannot follow and rip you away from me before I get the chance.”

I nod, once more placing my hand in his and allowing him to lead me to where he wants. For long moments we sit in silence before he turns to me and speaks.

“Since I can remember, I’ve watched over you. The moment you took your first breath alongside Emma, I was there to witness it.”

“What?” I interrupt, confused.

“Let me finish telling you everything. Then you can ask all the questions your heart desires.”

I nod, biting my tongue with effort.

He breathes deeply before continuing. “I watched you your entire life, never once thinking to intervene. But then your parents died and your pain broke my heart. I never made the conscious decision, but a moment later I fell. Not just from Heaven and my Maker, but I fell in love with you.”

I gasp, tears steaming down my face as Bowen lays his truth and his heart at my feet.

He smiles sadly. “But I also knew what your life would be like with me. I couldn’t protect you from the things in my world if I let you in,” he explains. “Not that it matters. You barged in, not leaving me with many options. Now here we are, and I did the only thing I could think of to keep you safe once we all bind ourselves to you. I took power that was never meant for me. I became death itself.”

“Fuck…” I mutter lowly.

“That’s an apt sentiment,” he replies with a chuckle. “I needed to go on a killing spree, murdering in the most violent and vile ways I could ever imagine. And then I had to be killed by some who felt nothing but pure love for me. All the stars had to align perfectly for me to have any chance. Unplanned but … opportune.”

He falls silent, staring at the dirt beneath his feet. I take this as my cue to finally talk.

“What does that mean?” I ask. “Do you need to leave?”

My voice breaks on the last word and Bowen lifts me into his arms, letting me straddle his lap.

“My beautiful girl,” he murmurs, rubbing away the tears I didn’t know were falling, using the pads of his thumbs. I risked everything—my heart, my soul, my life—to make sure I never had to leave you again. Lethe was created to be by your side for eternity. I was created to watch but never touch or interact. This is me changing my purpose.”

“You’re staying?”

“If Mana doesn’t try to kill me,” he says with a chuckle and an eye roll.

“Mana can kiss my ass,” I reply angrily. “In this whole mess, no one has ever taken a moment to ask me what I want. Well, except Asmodeus.”

“And what did the prince want in return for fulfilling your wishes?”

He looks genuinely curious about what choosing this life cost me.

“I will work for him, doing what Mana does. I will corrupt and reap souls for him until eternity fades away.”

“And you’re happy with this arrangement?” Bowen asks, a frown creasing his forehead.

“It was the only way. It was my decision to make, just like becoming death was yours.”

He nods, smiling as he rubs circles on my back. The silence in the cemetery floods around us like a cloak. It’s weird because it feels electric, like a current is running through us over and over. I’m not scared anymore. No, I am excited.

“What now?” I ask, my cheek resting against his chest, his heartbeat silent.

“Whatever you want, Addi. I already gave up everything for you.”

“I want you to make love to me,” I say softly. “Just you and me, no one else. I want you to be with me and set our bond so no one will ever be able to get between us ever again.”

“Addi…”

“No,” I cut him off. “This is also my decision. I get to decide who I let into my body and when. And I want you.”

Shrugging, I allow the robe he covered me with to fall to the ground, once more exposing my nudity to his gaze. His finger travels along a red line that runs from between my breasts to my pelvic bones, a remnant of Mana’s earlier coupling. His violence knew no bounds as he fucked himself into me. Setting our bond for the rest of eternity.

“I love you,” Bowen says, drawing me in for a quick kiss. “Let me take you to Harken where I can make love to you in a bed.”

“I don’t want a bed. I want the real you.”

“The real me isn’t good enough for you.”

“And yet, the real Bowen fell for me, risked his soul for me, protected me, watched over me, gave up everything for me. I think I’m the unworthy one here.”

He stares at me in astonishment.

Waving my arm, I gesture at the graveyard. “I was here when you decided to fall, to come to me. Don’t you think it’s appropriate that you claim me here?”

I watch him as he works through my words. He stands silently, and I wrap my legs around his waist. His erection rubs against my bare, battered pussy with every step we take. He lays me down on a cold slab of cement. It’s one of the older graves in the cemetery from when people feared grave robbers. But for us, it is perfect.

Bowen lowers his lips to mine, kisses me gently, languidly before moving on to the rest of my body. He takes his time, paying attention to each breast until my nipples are turgid in the cool air. He skims his lips across my abdomen, tracing the mark that Mana left but is quickly fading away. He kisses each of my hip bones, the insides of my thighs, my calves, and the soles of my feet. It’s such a simple thing to do but so revenant it brings tears to my eyes.

I wanted him to show me the real Bowen and that is what he is doing. Behind all the anger, sarcasm, and violence lies a gentle soul. A heart that has claimed my own without even trying.

He kisses his way back up my body, somehow having undressed in the process until he is leaning over me, his hips spreading my legs open, and the head of his cock notched at my entrance.

His onyx wings spread wide before enveloping us as he presses his thick cock into me, inch by torturous inch. My back bows from the cold slab beneath me, my breast pressing against his muscular chest. Bowen strokes into me, slowly but deeper than I ever thought possible. It’s overwhelming, angonizingly slow, and utterly perfect.

For long, leisurely moments he makes love to me, his wings protecting us from the elements before his fingers start to strum my clit with a feather-soft precision. Moans and incoherent words fall from my lips as my orgasm crests and breaks, pulling me under. Bowen strains above me, his cock kicking inside me as he floods me with his cum.

Softly, he pushes my hair off my sweat-soaked forehead, nothing but pure, dark obsessive love burning in his darkened gaze.

“You are mine. And I am yours. Not even death can separate us.”