19. Chapter Nineteen - Millie
”You and Luca should go out,” Kayla says contemplatively, and my eyes shoot over to her, confused.
”In what universe does that make sense?” I ask with a dry chuckle and start pacing my living room, biting the nail of my thumb while my thoughts race with memories of today. ”I almost get assaulted on a coffee run, and you”re telling me to go out again?”
”Well, knowing you, if you”re not doing it now, you”ll only work yourself up about it and never leave your apartment again.”
I hate to admit it, but she actually has a point.
”I know you, Mils. You”ll obsess over what happened, going through all the ”what ifs” possible and finding every humanly possible mistake you could have made in the situation or leading up to it to make yourself at fault for something out of your control.”
She does know me well.
I push out a long sigh. ”You”re right.” In fact, I”m already in the midst of it.
While we”ve started researching other labels for consideration, calculating how much it would cost us to end the contract with Starlet Sounds and Naroa early, my thoughts always circled back to that coffee shop and what I call ‘the incident.’
The anger on that woman”s face for something that”s not her concern at all. The bystanders doing nothing and the hate-fuelled words she spewed at me, just because I’m presumably dating an actor she likes.
Para-social relationships are scary.
”I know I’m right,” Kayla says with feigned arrogance, throwing her hair over her shoulder. “Go out there and show the world that they can”t intimidate you with this kind of petty shit.”
And she”s right again. Worst case, holing up in my apartment would send the message that I’m intimidated and scared. I mean, I am all those things, but the whole world doesn”t need to know that.
”Just go to Serenity. They”ve extended an invitation before we came here to have a meal on the house, so why not use it?”
I tilt my head, and take out my phone. I”ve heard of the restaurant, but I have no picture of it in my mind. Pulling up their website, a hum of recognition escapes my throat. Right. They”re the ones with the fancy drinks that have half a jungle in them.
”Asher said they”re big on privacy and security as well.” I frown and narrow my eyes at her. The last time she said that about a restaurant, eating there took three hours and many, many courses. ”Don”t worry, they do a la carte. No twenty-course meal.” She laughs and gets up to look at my phone over my shoulder. ”Look, there”s a menu. You can even pick out what to eat before you go there.”
”That”s an argument,” I sigh and pull up my chat with Luca to ask him if it”s okay with him. A thumbs-up emoji comes within moments, making me shake my head.
”What a bad boy. Did he not put his phone into his locker during training?” Kayla asks with a chuckle.
”Maybe they”re on a water break,” I say and shake my head at her. ”Don”t assume the worst about him.”
”I would never,” Kayla says way too seriously, throwing up her hands in defense.
”Good, then you can help me pick out what to wear,” I sigh. I”m neither in the mood to go out nor do I have the mental capacity to care about a date outfit at the moment.
My life might be in chaos right now, but at least I look cute, I think to myself, turning in front of the mirror to look at myself from all sides. Kayla went through my closet for me and threw a dress at my face, continuing by rifling through my jewelry and putting a necklace and some bracelets out. Then she went straight for my shoe closet. I heard a pair hit the ground before she announced her departure and slammed the door on her way out.
Being alone with my thoughts isn’t really helpful, though. I do my best not to think about ‘the incident’ but that’s so much easier said than done. My mind revolves around the hate-filled words of a stranger, and I feel dumb as hell for letting them affect me this much.
A relieved sigh draws from my lips when my phone starts ringing.
”Hey, Dad,” I greet him as soon as I answer his video call. He appears to be at the airport, judging from the pieces of background I can see behind him.
”Hey, Sweetie, are you alright? Your mom and I saw the news just now. She’s in the bathroom, but I didn’t want to wait to call you.” My eyes dart over his concerned face. They were in an area without reception for a few days, but of course, I told them about Luca and me beforehand. It’s happened before that they learned of my new boyfriends after certain news outlets, and they understandably weren’t thrilled about it.
”I”m alright,” I tell him, covering my sigh with a yawn as I start pacing my living room once more. I’m surprised there are no traces of the path I’m tracing on the ground yet. ”I’m a bit rattled, but nothing really happened, thanks to my bodyguard.”
”You should really give that young man a raise,” he points out, and I nod absentmindedly.
”He definitely deserves it,” I contemplate and make a mental note. ”I’ll take care of it. Once everything”s settled.”
“’Once everything’s settled?’” he asks with a chuckle. “Could you be any more cryptic, please?”
Then I quickly fill him in on Kayla”s outburst earlier and how determined she is to have someone fix this.
”Well, she isn”t wrong,” Dad says, running his hand through his beard. ”I mean, it was obvious that they held out your head for drama, but learning that it started as a cover for Kayla must be devastating.”
”It is,” I sigh and fall onto my couch. ”It also means they could have changed the narrative anytime but chose not to. Which, I guess, I knew at some level, but I wasn’t really aware of the extent, if that makes sense.” Which is a realization that hurts more than I”d like to admit. ”Boyfriends are not a topic that escalates to this degree when it comes to literally any other female pop star. What if they”re the ones poking the hate until it escalates? I mean, they do apparently have the power to do that.”
”Just out of curiosity, how much would it be if you two decide to break the contract?”
When I tell him the number, his eyes grow wide, until I quickly add, ”It”s possible. Not preferable, but we could do it. We already talked to our financial advisors. Kayla gave them a deadline to fix it, but she seems pretty determined to leave.”
”I would too. Think of it: they”ve really done this to you, made you hated by half of America, just so those headlines would get you a few clicks; it”s only a matter of time until she runs into a similar problem. Maybe when they need to cover something else up, maybe when an album flops.” I nod. I hadn”t even considered that, but he”s right. It stings a bit to think that she”s doing all this out of self-preservation instead of for me, but I’d get it.
”Well, we”ll have to wait and see what they come up with,” I conclude with a sigh and blow a curl out of my face. ”Anyway. How was Scotland?”
I listen to him rave about the scenery, bad Loch Ness jokes, and a terrible attempt at imitating a Scottish accent. The more I listen to him, the more tension begins to seep out of my muscles. Talking to my Dad always has that wonderful side effect.
”I”m glad you had a great time.” I grin at him. ”And now you”re on your way home?”
”Of course.” My Mom”s head pops in from the side. ”We can”t miss your big show! We”re super excited to see you and Kayla.”
”I”m excited to see you too,” I tell them, and for a moment, we all grin at each other. Then both of their gazes wander somewhere behind the screen simultaneously, before they look back at the camera sheepishly. ”We need to go, Sweetie. Apparently, we”re missing boarding.” They stand up, quickly throwing their bags over their shoulders, and grab their suitcases. ”Love you.” They start running.
”Love you, Millie.” My mother blows the camera a kiss as she begins to run. I can”t fight the laughter fighting to break free and tell them goodbye, still chuckling when the screen goes black. Only minutes later, my doorbell rings, and I run to put on my shoes and meet Luca downstairs.
Where Fantasia had a cute, rustical character, Serenity is the exact opposite. My eyes grow wide when we walk in, and I feel severely underdressed. We”re walking on a shiny marble floor, into a room where everyone is wearing elegant evening dresses or tuxedos and suits, looking like they”re about to walk the red carpet.
My dress isn”t super casual, but it”s definitely not on the same level as theirs. And way too short, judging by the stares I’m getting. Or maybe that’s just the paranoia Kayla mentioned.
Well, fuck it. I”m the popstar dining upon invitation here. Then again, maybe they’re staring at Rob, who towers over the two of us, deep wrinkles on his forehead as he scans the room.
Luca is impressed as well, whistling softly at the ambiance. ”Wow.”
”Wow indeed,” I agree softly, my eyes on a fancy chandelier hanging in the middle of the restaurant. It goes from the meter-high ceiling to only just high enough over a table that you wouldn”t butt your head against it. It looks like a bunch of diamond necklaces hanging from the ceiling, reflecting the light in a way that makes it seem like it’s sparkling. I”ve never seen anything like this before.
Our host leads us to a more private section on a platform, protected from the other tables” view by a black curtain. They really aren’t kidding about their discretion. Rob remains at the entrance of it to stop fans from entering.
Thank God, because I feel a bunch of eyes follow Luca and me as we’re guided here, and I don”t dare look up and see who”s staring at us. Once we step past the curtain, I freeze, my eyes glued to the window.
We have a wonderful view right over the river and the skyscrapers on the other side of it. Waves glisten softly in the evening light of the sun setting, the orange glow reflecting off the building”s windows. I know by now that Philadelphia is a beautiful city, and it’s by far not the first sunset I’ve seen here, but this view of the city is just breathtaking.
Luca”s hand rests on the small of my back as the host guides us to our table. He”s a bit protective today after Asher showed him the headlines and even videos of what happened, and while the occasion sucks, I love the sentiment.
We come to a stop at a table right by the window. It’s in a corner, but doesn’t quite shield us from curious looks within the secluded section. It’s definitely not as private as the table at Fantasia, but it will do.
”So, two more days,” I grin at Luca as I reach for the menu. Just like all the last times we”ve sat together, I nudge his calf with my foot before resting it warmly against his leg.
”I”m glad it’s over soon, but I”m also not looking forward to it,” he grumbles, reaching for my hand. I let him play with my fingers as I turn the pages with my other hand.
”I know, right?” I push out a deep sigh. ”What”s your next project?”
”A movie shoot in Toronto,” he says, grimacing as he realizes that it means quite a bit of distance between us. My heart drops as well. ”Is there a chance I could just take you with me?”
Turning my hand around, I intertwine our fingers and squeeze his hand, a fist closing around my heart. ”I guess it depends. Either we”re searching for a new label, then I might be able to visit you for a bit, or we’re working on an album, and I’ll have to stay wherever the studio turns out to be.”
He sighs, his eyes dancing over my face. I”ve filled him in on everything that’s happened today on our way here, and he”s really supportive of us standing our ground and leaving our label and management if we find it to be the right choice.
”How long are you staying in Toronto?” I ask him, caressing the back of his hand with my thumb.
”At least three months,” he says with a sigh, lifting our hands to press his lips to the back of mine. My stomach drops. Three whole months? That’s a lot. ”But I”m going to call you every day.”
”I”ll message you until you grow sick of me,” I promise him with a giggle, feeling my cheeks heating. ”Jokes aside,” I take a deep breath and ask him the question that’s been weighing on me. I started thinking about how dating might work once the match is over. “Do you think we can make it through long distance?”
”Oh, I”m very determined to make it through long distance.” He lifts our hands and leans a bit forward, until his breath feathers over my fingers and presses his lips against one of my fingers. ”I”ve got you now, and I”m not letting you go, Millie. Even if I only got to see you once a year, you”re mine now.”
His intense gaze makes my heart flutter, and I gnaw at my lip as I rack my brain. How do I even answer that? I want to tell him that I”m never letting him go again either. I want to promise to go to Toronto with him, and that we”ll never be apart, but that”s just not how my life works.
Our waiter saves me as he approaches with a pitcher of water and takes our orders. Once he”s gone, I finally know what to say.
”I”m in this, too, Luca. I don’t know what it is, but you’re so special. You’re the only one who makes my heart beat so fast I fear I’m having a heart attack, and so loved I wonder what kind of unlucky bastard I was in my past life to deserve you in this one. We”ll make it work,” I promise him, bringing a smile to his face that lights up the room. My gut tells me we can make it, and I just hope it”s not about to betray me.
”Good,” he whispers, pressing another kiss to my hand. ”We might only know each other for a few weeks, but something inside me just tells me that you”re it. I”ve waited all my life for you to turn up.”
”Wow,” I whisper, surprised by the sudden intensity of our conversation. I clear my throat. ”I feel the same. When Kayla and Asher set us up, it was like it all clicked into place. I feel like I”ve known you half my life already.”
”And I hope to know you for the rest of mine,” he says sweetly, and I swoon. How is that man so good with words? If any, shouldn’t I be the poet of the both of us? But when he”s in front of me, and I look into his emerald eyes, I lose all my words.
I just hope they come back to me when I work on new songs because that man deserves to be sung about.
Our appetizers come, and we change the conversation to a less serious topic. Luca tells me about the newest shenanigans his teammates and parents got up to, and I tell him about how my parents almost missed their flights.
When the waiter comes to collect our empty appetizer plates, I excuse myself to the bathroom.
Ignoring all the looks I think I’m getting, I find it, not too far away from where we”re sitting even, but discreetly hidden by another curtain. To my surprise, the inside seems even more ritzy than the rest of the restaurant. The counter is made of an even more expensive-looking marble, the faucet is shiny gold, and the doors to the toilets are made of robust-looking wood with gold doorknobs. And they”re really damn heavy to move.
Only moments after locking the door to my stall behind me, I hear the door to the bathroom open, and a chatter of voices enter the room, voices bouncing off the sleek tiles.
”Did you see her?” A female voice whispers. ”The way she was dressed?” I tense. Are they talking about me? Am I overreacting because I feel like everyone is talking about me, just like Kayla said? Or do I just think they’re talking about me because I feel a tad underdressed myself?
”Seems she didn”t get the memo,” another voice answers before both of them giggle. ”I mean, did you see her shoes?”
”Flats.” The voice sounds downright disgusted. ”And that bracelet! I wonder what trashcan she pulled that one out of.”
I look at my wrist, closing my hand around the bracelet I”ve made myself.
”She should just disappear. Seriously, Luca deserves so much better. I wonder if he’s just dating her for money and his career.” A third voice adds. ”I mean, come on. Nobody likes that cringe witch.”
”Right? I feel like she”s just dragging Kayla down. Everything would be better if she just disappeared.”
Insecurity makes room in my gut for pure, blazing rage. How dare those women talk about me like that?
We are women; we”re supposed to stick together, lift each other up, and face the common enemy–whoever that’s supposed to be.
But I can”t even argue when they say Luca is too good for me. Deep down, I fear the same. But I”m doing my fucking damnest to measure up to him, to be just as supportive, just as loving, and as much of a good partner. How dare they judge a relationship they only know, like, one picture of?
I flush the toilet and straighten my dress, ensuring I look the best I can in this cabin. They must know I’m in here, right? They entered so shortly after me, there’s virtually no way they didn’t see me come in.
After taking a deep breath and straightening my shoulders, I pull the door open with my head held high, not sparing the group of women a glance. Fuck them. I got the prize. I work fucking hard for everything I have, and I don”t need to pay attention to sore, jealous women who talk down on others.
Jealousy is just hate with extra steps, I repeat Kayla”s mantra in my head.
The women’s conversation subsided to a whisper when they see me, and I watch them from the corner of my eye.
Usually, one would be embarrassed, getting caught by the person you were talking about, right? Well, not those women. Those women are on a whole other level.
Of course, all of them are dressed to the nines, with a bad self-tan, blindingly white teeth, and buccal fat removal, causing their faces to look ghostly. They look like Barbies gone wrong, but I”ll keep that little titbit to myself since I have manners,.
I start the sink to wash my hands, doing my best to ignore them.
”Aren”t you ashamed?” A high-pitched voice cuts through the air like a knife.
Just ignore them, Millie. I know that what they want is a reaction out of me, and I’m not giving them that satisfaction. But my heart pounds rapidly, each beat echoing in my ear canals so loudly I fear it’s bursting my eardrum, but I force myself to remain calm and keep my breathing steady.
”Bitch, she”s talking to you.”
Ignore them, Millie. I reach for the paper towels and dry my hands, taking a second to fix the lipstick that got smudged slightly in the corner of my mouth. Then I turn to the door and try to leave.
”What the fuck?” One of them curses. Now that I”m walking past them, I can smell that they must have already had quite a few cocktails and champagne already. Not that alcohol is any excuse for how they”re behaving, but it makes my shoulders tense to the point they actually hurt, because it makes them unpredictable. I just want to get out of here.
”Who the fuck do you think you are?” Suddenly, a hand is in my hair, pulling with one strong and abrupt yank, making me stumble and fall backward to the ground. I scream in terror as I lose my balance, the breath being knocked out of my lungs once my body hits the cold marble. Instinctively, I cover my head with my arms while I fall.
”Look at that bitch, thinking she”s better than us.” They build themselves up in front of me like a wall, and I scurry to get up. But before I can regain my balance, one of them kicks my shoulder until I”m flat on the ground again. My heart is beating in my throat, and my blood runs ice cold as my thoughts rumble, and I notice a sting in my wrist.
”Leave me alone!” I shout, utilizing all the strength I know I can push into my voice. I know I’m loud. But they don’t care. They burst into laughter. With a ragged breath, I try to crawl backward, bringing distance between us so I can stand up, but they stalk right after me, like lions zooming in on their prey, until my back hits the cold marble wall.
”What the hell is your problem?” My voice trembles with fear, but I try to mask it.
”Our problem is that whores like you get things they don”t deserve,” the woman I heard first says with a cruel laugh, and a cold shiver runs down my spine, the hair on my neck standing straight up.
Then, suddenly, the door flies open, and within a moment, all hell breaks loose.
People rush in and apprehend the three women, pulling them out of the bathroom while they’re screaming bloody murder, and then suddenly, Luca kneels in front of me, shielding me from the view of nosy people gathering at the door, and cups my face with his hands.
”Hey, Millie?” he tries to get my attention, and I hear the worry dripping from his voice. “Sunshine, can you breathe for me?” I draw a sharp breath, but it doesn”t feel like enough air fills my lungs. I don”t even realize I”m crying until his thumbs wipe away my tears, and I hear myself sobbing. ”Are you hurt?”
I assess my body quickly. My ass hurts, and my wrist stings but apart from that, I seem to be okay. Thank God I didn”t hit my head on the stone floor. I nod, and his shoulders sag in relief.
”I want to go,” I croak once I”ve caught my breath.
”Yes, of course, we’re going to my place,” he promises, but I shake my head.
”I don”t,” I press out. My whole body is starting to feel numb: legs, arms and brain. ”I can”t- I need some time to process. Can you please just drive me home? I need to be alone for a bit.”
”Of course.” He offers me his hand, and I let him pull me up. ”Thank you.” I”m wobbly on my feet, and he quickly puts his arm around my shoulders to offer support as we walk back to the car.