Joelle
“Joelle! Delivery for you up front!” The hostess doesn’t even stop on her way through the kitchen long enough for me to ask what she’s talking about. I don’t get deliveries here.
The lunch rush has died off so I wash my hands and head to the counter by the door. Suzanne, the hostess who called me up here, is grinning with glee as she points to the edge of the counter.
There on the ledge is the biggest bouquet of daisies I’ve ever seen, in every color imaginable. There must be three dozen at least. Other employees are already stopping to rib me.
“Secret admirer?”
“Joelle’s got a boyfriend!”
Suzanne intervenes, thank God.
“All right, children, enough. Let the woman enjoy her flowers.” She shoos everybody away and hands me the card. When I raise an eyebrow, she shrugs. “Hey, it was either me hanging on to it or those vultures getting into it.”
I open the card as she walks back to her station.
I can’t stop thinking about you.-A.
Alex.And there’s a phone number written on the back of the card.
I hide my face in the blooms, inhaling their sweet scent as I scramble to get my body under control. I haven’t seen Alex since the night of the storm, almost a week ago now. Elliot hasn’t mentioned him and despite the new understanding between us, I didn’t dare to bring him up.
I program the number into my cell phone then tuck the card back down between the flowers, careful to keep it out of the soil. It’ll get messed up if I put it in my pocket at work, and since this marks the first time a man’s ever bought me flowers, I’m already planning to keep that card forever.
Which makes what I’m about to do all that much harder. As much as I want him, I can’t keep stringing him along like this. It’s not fair to him or to Elliot, for me to spend time with either man and be thinking about the other. It’s not fair to them that I want them both. It’s frustrating as hell that I found them both at the same time and can’t seem to make myself choose.
It’s just not fair. Worse, it’s cruel to drag things out any longer.
I pop my head back around the kitchen corner and let Anna know I’m taking my break so I can head outside to make the call with at least a little bit of privacy. Elliot’s around here somewhere and I don’t fancy the idea of him hearing what I’m about to say, even if I’m doing it on his behalf.
There’s a deep chill to the air now. Winter’s definitely coming. I rub a hand over my arm to keep the cold at bay as I pull up Alex’s number and hit send. He answers almost immediately.
“Hello?” His voice is deep, brisk.
“Alex,” I say.
“Joelle.” His voice gets warmer by about a thousand degrees. “I’m glad you called. How are you?”
“I’m good. I just wanted to thank you for the flowers. They’re absolutely perfect.”
“You’re welcome,” he says. “They made me think of you. Not that I needed any help with that lately. I’ve been thinking about you a lot.”
Somehow the heat in his voice travels through the phone and warms me right up. Another minute of this and I’ll be steaming.
“Alex, I appreciate the gesture,” I start. I want to gush about how much it means to me, about how I’m never going to forget him for even just this one single gesture. Not to mention the other firsts he gave me. Orgasm with an audience comes to mind. But I can’t drag this out any longer. “Listen, I—”
“Joelle, you’re not going to dump me over the phone,” he says. Is he smiling? Because he doesn’t sound upset.
“I’m—what?”
“Can I give you a ride home from work today? We can talk then,” says Alex. He makes ‘talk’ sound like a promise for something else and I close my eyes against the yearning.
“Yes, all right,” I say. It’s the opposite of all right. This is obviously a huge mistake. I’m never going to be able to say goodbye to his face, and I know it.
I think he knows it too.
“When should I be there?”
“I’m off in two hours.” That should give me enough time to get myself together.
Right.
“Can’t wait to see you,” he says, then hangs up. I’m left standing with phone in hand and the profound conviction that my plans are in the process of being totally upended.
By the time my shift is done, I’m even more of a mess. It didn’t help that I got to witness the moment Elliot went up to ask Suzanne about the flowers on the counter. I couldn’t hear what was said, but Elliot’s face went red. He’s been locked in his office ever since.
Letting Alex give me a ride—hah! Oh my God—is an even bigger mistake than I thought.
But he’s waiting out front, right on time, which means it’s too late to back out now. I just have to stick to the plan.
He’s smiling as he opens the car door, leaning down to kiss my cheek and taking the vase from me. He secures my gift in the back seat and by the time his long legs and tight ass make it back around to the front of the car to open the driver’s side door, I’m squirming with need.
The plan, stick to the plan.
“How was work?” he asks, pulling out of the lot.
“Fine. I appreciate you coming out all this way,” I say.
Alex laughs. “It’s not exactly out of my way. That’s part of why Elliot moved into my place, you know. Cut his commute by half.”
I swallow hard. Here’s my chance.
“Speaking of Elliot…”
Alex glances over at me.
“Alex, I think you’re wonderful.”
“That’s promising,” he says, reaching over to take my hand. “I think you’re wonderful, too.” I tug my hand back gently.
“But I don’t think we should see each other again.”
He’s not surprised by this but he also doesn’t look upset. So… okay. That’s confusing. I’m trying to come up with something else to say when he finally speaks up.
“Tell me why.”
“It’s just not a good idea,” I say. Lame. So lame. I am going to die alone because I am so unbelievably lame.
“You must have a reason,” he says evenly. “I want to hear it.”
“I—I don’t—” This was a terrible idea. “There’s somebody else.” His eyebrows shoot up but Alex doesn’t take his eyes off the road.
“You’re seeing somebody else?”
“Um, no. Not exactly,” I say. I take a deep breath and spit out the truth. “But I’m interested in someone else, and it’s not fair to you for me to pretend otherwise.”
“Hmm.”
That’s supposed to be it, right? The conversation is over. I haven’t broken up with a guy since high school, but I think this is usually the end of things.
“This other guy,” says Alex slowly. “Is he someone at the restaurant?”
“First of all, you’re assuming an awful lot thinking it’s a guy,” I say. Alex’s face goes blank and I’m sorely tempted to laugh at the shock and flagrant arousal I see flare up in its wake. “Yes, it’s someone at work. And yes, he’s a guy.”
Alex is fighting a smile, which is so completely at odds with the conversation we’re having. Aren’t breakups supposed to be a bad thing? I’m pretty sure one or both of us is supposed to be upset about this. But Alex only looks amused and I’m way more turned on than I should be, all things considered.
“Okay,” says Alex. “No more assumptions. I’m just going to ask you straight up: is Elliot the other man you’re interested in?”
We pull up to a red light and he looks at me, waiting for my answer.
“Yes.” I can’t meet his eyes.
The last five minutes to my house take about a hundred thousand years. We don’t make any more conversation and I can’t stop sneaking looks at him. He’s so damn handsome. And so kind. It occurs to me that I know next to nothing about him, and I’ve gone and thrown out any chance of learning more.
Alex pulls up to the curb in front of my house. It’s already dark out, early as it is. Winter is definitely here.
I’m reaching for the door when Alex reaches for my hand again. I let him hold on, tears welling up, biting my lip to keep them from falling.
“Joelle,” he says softly. “Joelle, look at me.”
I do and can’t keep one tear from spilling over. Alex brushes my cheek with the back of his hand, wiping the moisture away.
“Joelle, what if you didn’t have to choose between us?”
The world goes eerily still.
“What?”
“Me and Elliot. What if you didn’t have to choose between us? What if you could be with us both?”
Images of that night, my body moving against Alex’s, the memory of Elliot’s groans from just a few feet away, flit through my mind.
“You’re talking about a threesome. You and me and Elliot,” I say.
“I’m talking about you being free to see us both as you wish,” says Alex. “What if we could make that happen?”
“I’m not into cheating,” I say, pulling my hand back less gently this time.
“That’s not what I’m saying,” says Alex. “I’m trying to tell you that you could have us both. However you wanted, on whatever terms you wish.”
“You’d do that?”
“That and more, sunshine,” he says. The sincerity in his face steals my breath.
“What about Elliot?” I ask. Not that I’m considering this, because it’s freaking crazy. And confusing. Dating two men at once? And then it occurs to me. “Are we talking about dating? Or is this just about sex?”
Why that makes him laugh so hard I don’t know, but Alex pulls himself together and answers me seriously.
“This is definitely about sex, but not just sex. I want to take you out. I want to talk to you, to know more about you. To hold you. And yes, I want you in my bed more than I want my next breath.”
“With Elliot,” I whisper. “You want me in bed—with Elliot, too.” I think that’s what he’s telling me. If I’m wrong, I’m going to have to buy a ticket to Mars because I will never be able to look Alex in the eye again.
Alex lowers his forehead to touch mine, closing his eyes.
“I want you any way you’ll let me have you, sunshine,” he says, his voice so low I struggle to make it out. “I am… not averse to trying more of what we did the other night.”
“With Elliot,” I say, just to be clear.
“With Elliot,” he says.
“Does he know about this? That we’re having this conversation?” I ask.
“No. Not yet.”
Of course he doesn’t. Elliot would never go for it. Nobody in their right mind would go for it.
Right?
“It’s moot anyway,” I say. “Elliot won’t touch me because we work together.”
“You underestimate yourself, sunshine,” says Alex. He traces a fingertip up across the back of my hand, all the way up to my elbow, then back down again, making me shiver.
“What makes you think so?”
“Let’s just say I have it on pretty good authority that Elliot likes you just as much as I do,” says Alex.
“Alex Weaver,” I say, mouth dropping open. “Are you trying to fix me up with your best friend?”
Alex laughs again, the full, masculine sound of it making me shiver in an altogether different way.
“You know what,” he says, wiping the corners of his eyes. “I guess I am. Elliot wants you, Joelle. I know he’s told you so.”
“He said he won’t touch me so long as I work for him.”
“Do you trust him?”
“Yes,” I say, telling the truth. Maybe I’m being naive, but I trust them both.
Alex looks at me a long moment then nods. He takes my hand, bringing it to his lips, pressing a kiss to each fingertip.
“What do you think, sunshine? I don’t want to get this wrong by guessing.”
“I think it’s crazy. I think there’s a reason relationships are meant to be for two people, even if I’m not sure what that reason is right now. And I think body parts that aren’t your brain might be involved in the decision making process right now,” I lose a little steam here because, wow, those body parts are distracting as hell.
Judging by his smile, Alex is undeterred.
“Do you trust him?” I ask.
“What?”
“You asked me if I trust Elliot,” I say. “Do you?”
His smile vanishes.
“He’s my closest friend,” says Alex.
“That’s not an answer.” Except it is. It’s just not the one I expected.
“I trust Elliot in this,” he says carefully. “Of course I trust him.”
But not with everything. Alex is holding something back and it makes me burn to find out what he’s hiding.
“Just promise me one thing,” he says. “Promise me that you’ll consider it.”
I snort. “It’s not likely to slip my mind any time soon.”
“Yeah?” Alex leans in closer. “You like the idea.”
“There’s not a woman alive who wouldn’t like the idea of having two hot guys to herself,” I can feel myself blushing again. “Straight woman, anyway.”
“Hot, huh?” Alex nuzzles my cheek.
“Shut up, you know you’re gorgeous.”
“I’m nothing compared to you, sunshine,” he breathes. His lips brush mine once, twice. “Say yes, Joelle. Let us have you.”