Skies Over Caledonia: A Small Town Marriage of Convenience Romance (The Highlands Series Book 4)

Chapter 14

If Jared McCulloch grunted at me one more time, I was going to scream. He’d gone from politely distant to downright rude this morning. It was a miracle I’d managed to get out of bed considering I’d only had a few hours’ sleep, but I didn’t want to let Jared down with the chickens. I promised him I’d take care of them, and I meant it. Just because I’d lost track of time last night working on a final piece for my show didn’t mean I could shirk my responsibilities within our new arrangement.

Jared had appeared surprised to see me up and about too. He looked a little haggard, and anytime I asked him a question he just grunted at me. Suspicion grew as he abruptly stood up to clean his breakfast plates. I could tell he was going to walk out of the house without another word. Head heavy with tiredness, I didn’t want to argue with him, but why was he treating me like I was an annoying gnat in his kitchen? Did I keep him awake last night, waiting for me to come home?

Had I inconvenienced him?

At the tense lines of his broad back, I suddenly remembered how I’d felt the night he’d gone to the Gloaming instead of coming home. I’d worried he was with someone, breaking the terms of our deal already.

Would he … could Jared be concerned that I was with someone last night? Not jealous … but irritated I might have broken my word? Or … yeah, jealous?

Stupid hope blossomed in my chest. Stupid, stupid hope. It wasn’t like there was ever going to be a real future between us. Yet, it might be nice to know that Jared did like me and find me attractive, after all. If only to soothe my wounded pride.

I pushed up from the table, fumbling for my phone as I approached him at the sink. “I’m sorry I was so late last night. I hope I didn’t keep you awake.”

He grunted.

Caveman.

Attempting to clear the scowl from my face, I leaned into him, and he stopped cleaning his plate (which was already clean) and straightened. If he was tense before, his body was now rigid with move away from me vibes. I didn’t. I tapped on my phone screen and held up the photo before his face. “What do you think?”

Jared scowled at it. “What am I looking at?”

“I got so inspired last night that I abandoned the final piece I’d originally intended to use for my show.” I traced the image with my finger. Instead of paintings on canvas, I made art with glass. I infused the glass with flowers, gemstones, real liquid gold, copper, and silver … the glasswork I showed Jared was a large piece that I’d painted in a mix of greens, blues, and golds. I’d taken some of the wildflowers from the wedding bouquet Jared gifted me and pressed them in around the edges. In the middle was a small cascade of aquamarine and peridot gems to represent the water. Faint streaks of gold shimmered through the center like the sun dapple over the surface. “It’s the loch behind Caledonia Sky.”

Jared took my phone to study the glass art. “This is yours?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve never seen your art before.” He glanced up from the phone. “It’s beautiful.”

A flush of pride filled me. “Thank you.”

Jared handed the phone back.

My fingers caressed his as I took it, and his eyes flashed to mine. “I was at my studio all night,” I explained pointedly. “When I get inspired like that, time just slips away. I’ll try to be better about that.”

He searched my face and nodded slowly. “Why don’t you go back to bed? I can look after the chickens.”

“I’ll see to the chickens. I made a promise, Jared. I never break my word.”

Understanding dawned in his expression. He nodded carefully. “Me neither. I know what people say about me, but if I promise a person I’m going to do something or not do something, I always keep my word.”

The tension I’d been carrying since he’d visited Sorcha in Inverness eased.

“I’ve spent the last week filling out forms for change of address, change of name, and uploading all my documents for my citizenship. My art has kind of fallen by the wayside in all of that so, I just … yeah, I got lost in it. Which is good because I have my show in a few weeks.” I gave him a small smile. “Would you … I know it might not be your thing, but I’d love it if you could attend it with me.”

That familiar frown wrinkled his brow. “I … that kind of thing isn’t really … You’re right. It’s not my thing.”

Hurt sliced through me, but I kept my smile in place. “Oh. I just … I thought maybe it might look good to the outside world if you showed up for me.”

Jared moved away from the sink, giving me his back as he wandered into the mudroom. “Aye, but they also know me and know I’m not really a cultured kind of bloke.”

Right.

Except this wasn’t really about him. I huffed bitterly to myself. Truthfully, I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. Jared wandered back into the kitchen, boots on, keys in hand. Expression blank of all emotion.

I breezed past him. “I’m going to feed the chickens.”

I could sense him watching me as I shoved my feet into my boots and grabbed what I needed. As I strode outside into the sunny but cool morning, I told myself not to be wounded by Jared’s rejection. No one in my family, except Aria, had ever been interested in my artwork. My parents liked to brag that I’d graduated from RISD, but they’d never attended any of my shows. They’d always had some work commitment. While they liked to brag about my success as an artist, I doubted they’d ever contemplated owning a piece of my work.

Aria had. She’d bought pieces for her own home and for Ardnoch Estate. And I knew it was because she genuinely appreciated my work if she was buying them for Ardnoch. Was it any wonder I put too much pressure on her to be everything for me? She was. She was the only person who’d ever really given a shit.

It should not surprise me in the least that my fake husband wasn’t interested. Hell, I bet a real one wouldn’t have been. It was weird … I’d had men become infatuated with me. Most of them, except for one, couldn’t see past my face and body. Their infatuation meant nothing. It was shallow and physical, and they didn’t care who I really was. I seemed to lack the ability to interest people enough for them to get to know me and to develop real feelings.

That thought, Jared’s complete disinterest in me, floated above my head like the only dark cloud in the sky as I drove into Ardnoch that morning with the eggs for Morag. I considered calling Gail, my therapist, to arrange a session.

Morag sensed my preoccupation and didn’t keep me long. But as I was walking back to my car, I heard a familiar voice call my name.

I turned and found Sloane waving at me from the back door of her bakery.

Sloane.

Seeing her pulled me out of my gloom. Because Sloane cared about me. I knew she did. Which was why I’d been avoiding her since I’d married Jared. I dreaded telling her. Mentally scolding myself for the wallowing self-pity that had overcome me, I forced myself to walk toward her.

Guilt was already building up from my feet with each step, and it only sharpened when Callie suddenly appeared at her mom’s side.

Ah, hell.

Lying to them pained me.

As soon as I reached them, Sloane grabbed my left hand and pulled the ring up to her face. She gaped at it and then at me. “I wasn’t sure I quite believed everyone until this very moment. You’ve been avoiding me, Allegra Howard. Or should I say Allegra McCulloch?”

My gaze darted between her and Callie’s identical expressions of indignation. “I … we’ve just … We felt bad about lying for so long. I guess, I just didn’t know what to say.” There. That was pretty much the truth.

While Sloane studied me with a deep line between her brows, Callie suddenly beamed. “Aunt Ally, all anyone can talk about is how you got Jared McCulloch to settle down. No one’s surprised it was you, though.”

I scoffed, my self-doubts still lingering. “Why?”

Callie frowned now too. “Because you’re, like, one of the sickest people ever. You’re an amazing artist, you’ve traveled, you’re tougher than anyone knows, you treat everyone the same, even though you grew up in a mansion in Malibu, and you follow your own path. You and Mum are totally my heroes, Aunt Ally.”

Her sweet words hit and soothed every sore spot on my heart.

Before I could stop myself, I burst into tears.

“Okay.” Sloane’s eyes widened a second before she hauled me into the bakery kitchen.

“Did I say something wrong?” I heard Callie ask worriedly as I covered my face with my hands and sobbed.

I shook my head, trying to calm myself.

Sloane rubbed my back, leaning into me. “Allegra, talk to me. What’s going on?”

Grabbing tight to my emotions, my crying slowed, and I wiped at my tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep last night because of work, and it’s just been a really emotional few weeks.” I reached out to cup Callie’s face tenderly. “You just … what you said means a lot to me, sweetie. That’s all.”

Callie nodded, though she still appeared troubled.

“Right. I’ve decided.” Sloane squeezed my hand. “You and Jared are coming to dinner on Saturday so I can make sure you’re all right. There’s no saying no. You don’t show and I’ll send Walker to come and collect you both.”

I laughed tearfully at her warning. “Okay. We’ll be there. Just text me the details.” Jared would have to show up, whether he wanted to or not.

“Oh, and, Ally?”

I met Sloane’s suddenly reproachful gaze. “Go talk to your sister. She’s worried about you. Now I am too.”

Guilt slashed through me. “I’m fine.”

“That may be … but I’d feel better if you’d stop avoiding Aria.”

“She told you I’m avoiding her?”

Sloane nodded. “She’s really upset.”

I was such a shit sister. “I’ll go talk to her now. I promise.”

The security guards at the main entrance of the estate recognized me and opened the gates. I’d made the drive onto the grounds many times, but it never got old. Ardnoch Castle was magical. The long driveway led through a stretch of woodlands before the trees disappeared to reveal grass for miles around the large castle. Flags were situated throughout the rolling plains of the estate—a golf course. It was still early in the morning, but there were a few figures in the distance, playing.

The castle was a rambling, castellated mansion, six stories tall and about two hundred years old. It was the club’s main building, but there were several buildings throughout the mammoth estate, including permanent residences that belonged to members like my parents and North and Aria. The estate sat on the coast and offered pine forests, rolling plains, heather moors, inland lochs, and golden beaches. A private beach was just a ten-minute walk from the castle.

As I approached, the familiar details of the building grew clearer—the turrets, the flag of the St. Andrew’s Cross flying from one of the parapets. Columns supported a mini-crenellated roof over an elaborate portico that housed double iron doors. They opened as I drew to a stop and a valet appeared to take my keys so he could park my vehicle in the mews around back.

Stepping inside the castle, I drank it in with a soft smile, despite my nerves over seeing Aria. I stood in the entrance of the great hall. This was where Lachlan and my sister hosted ceilidhs and their Christmas and New Year’s parties. Aria had also added an end-of-summer party to the annual agenda since the estate was busiest at this time of year.

The great hall was a spectacular room for an event.

It had polished parquet flooring. The décor was traditional, slightly Gothic, with more than a hint of Scotland and luxury. A grand, wide staircase descended into the room, fitted with a red-and-gray tartan wool runner. It led to a landing where three floor-to-ceiling stained glass windows spilled colorful light. Then it branched off at either side, twin staircases leading to the floor above, which you could partially see from the galleried balconies at either end of the reception hall. A pennant flag hung from either balcony with the Adair family coat of arms on it, bearing the words Loyal Au Mort. It was the Adair clan motto. Aria told me it meant Faithful unto Death.

I thought that pretty fitting considering they were a family who’d clearly do anything for one another. Plus, I’d never seen men and women more devoted to their spouses. Other than North and Aria. And surprisingly, Theo and Sarah—the surprising part being Theo, not Sarah. The handsome Englishman turned into an entirely different person around Jared’s shy but strong cousin. His adoration for her was clear for all to see. It made me kind of envious. All of them did.

I stared at those words on the flag for a moment, trying not to overanalyze my sudden misery.

Then a crack brought my attention to the fire. It burned in the huge hearth on the wall adjacent to the entrance and opposite the staircase. Tiffany lamps sat scattered throughout on end tables to cast a warm glow over the dark, wood-paneled walls and ceilings. Usually the smell of burning wood and flickering flames in the hearth made Ardnoch’s great hall a bit cozier.

But it would grow hot out soon, so I saw no reason for the fire to be lit today. Aria must’ve requested it for some reason. Maybe it had something to do with the member who sat opposite the fire in one of the two matching suede-and-fabric buttoned sofas. There was a coffee table in between where her laptop sat while she tapped away on her phone.

More light spilled into the hall from large openings that led to other rooms on this floor. I could hear the rise and fall of conversation in the distance beyond just as the head butler, Wakefield, appeared. He was dressed like the underbutlers and footmen in black tailcoat and white gloves. His waistcoat, as well as the ma?tre d’h?tel’s, was dark green instead of white to differentiate them from the rest of the staff.

“Mrs. McCulloch,” Wakefield greeted me with a deferential nod, and I tried not to show my surprise that he knew of my change of circumstances. “Are you here to visit with Mrs. Hunter?”

“Yeah. Is she available?”

“I will inquire. May I offer you a refreshment while you wait?”

My mouth quirked at the corner. I just loved the old-fashioned manners here. “I’m all right. Thanks, Wakefield.”

“Very good, Mrs. McCulloch. I will return shortly.”

I nodded, flushing a little because every time he called me Mrs. McCulloch, I experienced a fluttering in my belly. Not going to analyze that either.

A few minutes later, Wakefield ushered me into Aria’s office.

The room was a smaller version of the estate library. Wall-to-wall dark oak bookshelves, an impressive open fireplace, and two comfortable armchairs situated in front of a captain’s pedestal desk. A floor-to-ceiling window adjacent to the desk let in light so it didn’t feel too dark. Tiffany lamps aided in chasing off the gloom too. Luxurious velvet curtains at the window pooled on the wooden floors, most of which were covered in expensive carpets.

Aria leaned against her large desk. “So she finally appears.”

I blanched. “I’m sorry.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed heavily. “You know you used to say that a lot when you were younger. I thought we were past all the apologizing.”

Tears burned in my eyes. “I need you to know that no matter the stupid shit I spewed a few weeks ago that I would never intentionally hurt you.”

She remained unmoved, and I didn’t blame her. I’d acted impulsively in the past, said and done things I didn’t mean, and I thought I’d grown up since then. But what I’d said to her … “I know you love me. That you would have done anything for me. I had no right to make you feel guilty about going off into the world and finding what made you happy.”

She grimaced, wincing as if in pain. “But you were right that I didn’t have to go this far away. Where …” Her mouth trembled as her eyes turned glassy. “Where you couldn’t follow me.”

I hurried to her, gripping her hands as my tears spilled free. “I am not your responsibility. You get to go wherever you want. To make a life where you want. I do not get to make you feel bad about that and … that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. Because I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed that I’m so selfish, Ari.”

“It’s not selfish to need someone.”

I sobbed for the second time that day. “I’m sorry for putting that on you.”

“Allegra.” She tugged me closer, dipping her head to meet my eyes. “Since you were fifteen years old, I have been plagued with worry that something happened I don’t know about. I thought … I thought it was something outside our family, but the last few years …” Her grip was almost painful. “You seem so bitter toward our parents.”

The question hung between us, and panic tightened my chest. “They … they just … they’ve never been there for me, Ari. Not like you.” I pulled out of her embrace, hating the lies that sat between us but knowing they were necessary. “You know they’ve never been to one of my shows. I doubt they’ve even seen my artwork outside of what you have here on the estate.”

“Well, that’s not true. About the artwork, I mean. Dad just asked me the other week if you had any pieces for sale. He wants something for the New York apartment. Though why he can’t just call you and ask, I don’t know. Maybe because you never answer his calls.”

“What calls?” I scoffed, backing away. “The only time Dad and I ever see each other is on the forced family video calls.”

“Forced?” She scowled.

I shrugged, turning away so she couldn’t see my resentment. “Anyway, you and I are good now, right? Because that’s all that matters to me.”

“You know what matters to me? You. Your happiness. I’m worried about this situation with you and Jared. I know you’re a grown-up, but?—”

“Ari,” I cut her off, my expression falling. “I don’t want to lie to you, so please don’t make me.”

Fear darkened her gaze. “This could get you into so much trouble.”

I was optimistically starting to believe she was wrong. “It won’t. I’ve filled out all the forms for citizenship and uploaded all necessary documents. I have an appointment in Aberdeen next week to do all the biometric stuff. And that’s it. They’ll give me a decision within six months. It’s all going to be fine.”

“I’m not talking about that … Ally … I see the way you look at him. How you’ve always looked at him.”

Anxiety knotted my gut. “Ari?—”

“I don’t want him to hurt you when this is … when it’s done.”

It took a great deal of acting, but I managed an insouciant shrug. “The key is to never give anyone too much power over you. Not even my husband. Jared can’t hurt me.”

My sister winced. “No matter how your marriage came about, I assure you, the one person in the world who has the power to hurt you more than anyone is your husband. That’s why your choice of husband was always going to be one of the most important choices you’d ever make.”