Skies Over Caledonia: A Small Town Marriage of Convenience Romance (The Highlands Series Book 4)

Chapter 39

It was an understatement to say that I did not like playing the patient. After staying in the hospital for a week after surgery, I was ready to get home and back to life. However, neither my husband nor my family would let me. Since I determinedly did not want to remain in bed, Jared insisted I plant my butt on the couch. Two days I’d been home and I was ready to lose it.

The only thing that passed the time was the visitors. Sloane, Walker, and Callie had shown up almost every day at the hospital and again when I returned home. I think Sloane and Callie might have experienced flashbacks to their own trauma years ago, and they just needed to reassure themselves that I was okay. That they were okay.

They weren’t alone in visiting. The entire Adair family showed up. Not all at once (thankfully, because who had room for a clan their size?), but over the course of the next few days, they popped by with gifts and to check in. And, of course, Sarah and Theo had driven from Gairloch to stay for a while. Since they were both members at Ardnoch, they were living on the estate but spending most of their time here at the farmhouse. I knew Sarah was worried about how Jared was handling it all.

Jared was a champ.

He’d saved me.

Something I’d never forget.

But I also hadn’t forgotten that I’d twice told him I loved him and so far he hadn’t said it back.

Perhaps it was because I’d been on my way home to hash out our relationship. Maybe he wanted to wait to talk about it all when I was better. From the way he hovered over me, I couldn’t believe that he didn’t return my feelings. I remembered his emotional response when I woke up in that hospital bed.

So what was holding him back?

It was a thought for another time because today Mamma and Aria were visiting. Jared had gone to check on the farm, which he’d left in Georgie’s capable hands, and Sarah and Theo had made an excuse to leave so I could be alone with my mother and sister.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked as Mamma sat next to me on the sofa and took my hand in hers. She’d been clingy lately. And very affectionate.

Aria and Mamma exchanged a look before Mamma sighed. “I need some time, so I moved into Aria and North’s while your father is still here. He is going to visit you later today, alone.”

I covered Mamma’s hand. “I get it. I’m glad you’re taking the time you need.”

“You know …” She held my gaze and I saw shame in it. “I was so angry at you before the accident. It was easier to be angry at you than at your papà. Then when North told us your car had gone over the hillside …” Mamma sucked in a shaky breath, tears sliding down her beautiful face. “I was so scared.”

“I’m here, Mamma.”

“I know.” She cupped my cheek. “But you could have died and it would have been with a mother who put her needs before her child.” Mamma turned to look at Aria, heartbreak on her face. “I am so sorry that it has taken almost losing both my daughters to be a good mother.”

“Mamma.” Aria got up from the armchair and crossed the room to sit down on our mother’s other side.

“Maybe it is punishment for not being better.”

“What’s punishment?”

“What has happened to you both.”

Aria sighed, rubbing Mamma’s back. “Everyone has ups and downs, Mamma. Money doesn’t protect people from pain. But look at where we ended up. Both Allegra and I have found what we love and need here. Now it’s time for you to figure out what you need.”

Mamma nodded, grabbing our hands. “I have two very kind daughters who inspire me to be kinder.”

Tears burned in my eyes at her words, and she turned to look at me. Her face crumpled. “I am so sorry I ever raised a hand to you. Or that I was so blinded by my own hurt that I could not see how much this mess between me and your father hurt you.”

“I forgive you,” I promised.

She squeezed my hand tighter. “I never wanted to be a woman who ever touched her child in anger. My mother often would slap me when we were alone and pinch me in hidden places when others were around, and I vowed never to cause that hurt to my daughters. It is my greatest shame that I did.”

I was shocked at this revelation about Nonna. We didn’t see our Italian grandparents a lot, but the few times we had, Nonna was a jolly, affectionate lady. Though in hindsight, she did criticize Mamma a lot. I just thought it was their dynamic. Now, as Aria and I shared a look, I had to wonder if it was more than just distance and time that kept our visits with Nonna and Nonno few and far between. Once again, I was met with the sad realization that we didn’t really know our parents all that well.

I wanted that to change. I didn’t want to hold on to resentment or see only the bad in our relationship. Yes, my parents had always been a little distant, a little too busy, but before that day I walked in on my father with another woman, I’d been a kid who knew she was loved by her parents. There were plenty of happy memories together as a family. I wanted to hold on to those memories. I wanted to forgive. For me and Aria more than anyone.

“You never did hurt me before then or since.” I leaned into Mamma. “People make mistakes. What matters is learning from them. Right? I forgive you.”

Mamma nodded, eyes bright with heartbreak. “You are an angel, tesoro. I cannot believe I almost lost you.”

“I’m right here.”

“So what now?” Aria patted Mamma’s leg.

She knew what my sister was asking. Letting out a shuddering breath, she replied, “I do not know. For now, I just want to be with my children.”

Resting my head on Mamma’s shoulder, I whispered, “We can do that.”

Though they protested, I insisted on walking Mamma and Aria out to their car a few hours later.

“Jeez, the doctor says I’ve got to exercise, okay! You all are coddling me way too much.”

Mamma harrumphed but hugged me and got into the SUV.

Aria searched my face and body for signs of fatigue and pain. But I was feeling much better and ready to get back to life.

I gripped my sister’s biceps and gave her a wee shake. “I’m good. Are we good?”

“I can’t believe you were hiding this from me the whole time—I know you were just protecting me. I get it. But I hate that you went through this. And when you’re better, if you’re up to it, I want to hear more about the boy who died.”

“Ashton.” His name was hoarse on my lips and always accompanied by a guilt that no amount of therapy could assuage.

“Ashton,” Aria repeated sadly. “When you feel up to it, will you tell me about him?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Okay.” She pulled me into her arms and kissed the side of my head. “I love you, Ally.”

I smiled. “I love you too.”

A few days later, I’d finally convinced everyone to let me get back to life as I knew it. Dad had postponed the start of his new movie, and it was costing the studio thousands of dollars a day, so I’d insisted he leave. Before he did, however, he told me that he’d ended it with Maggie. Although he loved her (and I could see that he was cut up about his choice), she belonged to a past life. Dad had been clinging to nostalgia. In the end, he’d decided he didn’t want to lose Mamma.

Unfortunately, Mamma wasn’t sure she didn’t want to lose him. I think Dad was ready to fight for her, though. It was up to my mother if he was too late. I’d stand by her, no matter what. And I’d stand by Dad too. They’d both made mistakes. I’d like to think that there were people who would love me through the worst things I’d ever do, and I wanted to be a person who loved the people I loved, even when they did something that wasn’t very lovable.

As always, Jared and I were up early. We’d eaten breakfast and Jared had gone into the living room to switch on the news for the weather for the week. My gold wedding band glinted on my finger as I washed our dishes. While I was recovering, there had been no sex, but Jared held me every night before we went to sleep and I always woke up in his arms.

There was no discussion about the fight we’d had the night of the accident. I think we both felt that words were kind of unnecessary. Well … most words.

I was still waiting on three particular words from my husband.

As I put away the dishes, the news presenter caught my attention as she announced breaking news from the US. I wandered into the sitting room, my heart jumping at the announcement on the news ticker below her on the screen.

brEAKING NEWS: California Attorney General Andrew Gray Arrested in FBI Raid.

“Oh my God, turn it up.”

Jared flicked me a look but did as I asked.

“Last night, California Attorney General Andrew Gray was arrested on suspicion of international child sex trafficking. Sources reveal Gray has been under investigation for more than two years while the FBI gathered evidence against him. His home in the Hollywood Hills and his offices in Los Angeles were raided simultaneously last night. Gray has served as attorney general for three years and was public in his aspirations to advance to the Senate. The US president has yet to make a statement … In other news …”

“Fuck.”

Jared frowned. “Am I missing something?”

Heart racing, I grimaced sadly. “Andrew Gray was Ashton’s stepdad.”

Understanding dawned and Jared crossed the room to pull me into his arms. “I’m sorry.”

I clung to Jared. “It’s okay. This is good. This means Ashton’s finally getting the justice he deserves.” I trembled thinking about all the kids Gray had most likely hurt over the years. “I hope he rots in jail for the rest of his life.”

Jared rested his cheek on my head and just held me. We stood there for a while, and I knew he would stand there holding me for as long as I needed. But I also knew he had work to do.

Reluctantly, I released him and gave him a reassuring smile.

My husband cupped my face in his hands. “Why don’t you spend the day with me?”

“I don’t want to get in the way.”

“I want you there.” He brushed a thumb over my cheek. “I’ll just worry about you otherwise. That”—he gestured to the TV—“is a lot to take in.”

Actually, the thought of some physical work keeping me distracted and busy sounded like exactly what I needed. “Okay. But no coddling me.”

“I’ll coddle you just enough,” he promised. Then he smacked my ass playfully, making the hem of my short dress flutter. “Let’s feed the chickens first.”

“Hey, no touching my ass if you don’t intend to follow through,” I grumbled as he led us out of the house to the chickens.

Jared shot me a wicked smirk and I decided right there and then that tonight I was going to torment the hell out of him until he broke and made love to me.

Realizing he’d already distracted me from the news about Ashton’s stepdad, my annoyed glare turned to a tender smile. It was a beautiful day, the breeze a little cooler now that summer was on its way out, and on this farm with this man (who was good down to his soul), I was as far from the darkness of my past as I could get. The news about Andrew’s arrest didn’t change that.

This here was my future, and it was everything pure and real and true.

Jared glanced back at me from the henhouse and paused at whatever he saw on my face. He swallowed hard and took a shuddering breath. Then he strode to me. When he reached me, he took my face in his hands. Leaning his forehead against mine, his breath puffed against my lips.

Then he whispered raggedly, “I love you so fucking much. You have no idea. I’m sorry it took me so long to say, but those words just didn’t seem big enough for what I feel for you.”

And just like that, somehow, miraculously, my life got even better.

I leaned back to meet his gaze. “I love you too.”

His lips crashed over mine, his kiss hungry and desperate and filled with all that love he’d just confessed. I stumbled back as he moved us toward the house without breaking the kiss. My back met the brick wall near the mudroom door as Jared’s hands coasted frantically over my body, like he needed to touch me everywhere and all at once.

I wanted him to.

I never wanted him to stop.

The need to connect was so intense that we didn’t make it past the wall or out of our clothes. On that cool morning with late-summer sun cast out by the shade of the building, my husband and I had hot, frantic sex against our farmhouse.

It was perfect.

I whispered as much as Jared bowed his head in the crook of my neck and shuddered through the aftermath of his orgasm.

He groaned and lifted his head. “I love you,” he repeated.

Stroking the nape of his neck, my right leg still wrapped around his hip, I replied, “I love you more.”

Jared grinned, that wicked sexy grin that made my heart beat fast. “Not possible.”

“You saved me, Jared.” Tears of happiness burned my eyes. “In more ways than one.”

Suddenly, his smile dropped, his expression fierce. “You saved me right back. No man has ever been prouder to call a woman his wife. And I have felt that way long before you were ever in my bed.”

Joy and thrill suffused me. “Really?”

“Aye, really.”

“You should know I knew I had feelings for you when we got married,” I confessed.

“You should know I also had feelings for you when we got married, but I was a clueless stubborn bastard too stupid to realize it.”

I laughed and Jared grinned, pulling me into his embrace. He buried his face in my neck and groaned, squeezing me tight.

“I love you,” I repeated because I just couldn’t get enough of saying it now that I was allowed to.

Jared lifted his head to whisper in my ear, “Tha gaol agom ort.”

I pulled away in surprise. “What was that?”

“Gaelic.” His stunning gaze roamed between my eyes and my mouth. “Granddad taught me.”

“What does it mean?”

“I love you. But a better translation is ‘my love is upon you.’”

Emotion thickened my throat. “That’s so beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Say it again.”

“Tha gaol agom ort.”

“Ha g-eul …”

“Agom ort.”

“Ah-kum orsht?”

Jared nodded as I repeated it correctly.

I bit my lip against a cheesy grin. “Your granddad was kind of a secret romantic.”

My husband brushed his thumb over my lower lip. “He loved my grandmother until the day he died. He never touched another woman after her death. Couldn’t even contemplate loving another woman.” Jared swallowed hard, and I realized it was against emotion. “I never truly understood that … until you.”

Oh wow.

“You better call Georgie.” I curled my fingers into his shirt, almost ripping the buttons. “Because you’re going to be late this morning. Very, very late.”

Jared grinned wolfishly and then picked me up like I weighed nothing to haul me into the house.

We didn’t even make it past the kitchen before he was on me. Inside me.

And I made him speak those Gaelic words over and over again as we made love on the kitchen floor.