Chapter Ten
The sun blinded Jathan as he slowly came awake.
Thick, cozy blankets covered him while a hard, delicious body acted as his pillow.
God, he had missed the sound of Quince’s heart beating against his ear.
He honestly had no idea why it felt like they had been together forever.
Jathan was fully attached. It was like this wasn’t their first lifetime together.
He couldn’t imagine never having this again.
It was slow to dawn on him that he was in his bed…and so was Quince. He experienced a moment of panic that made him realize how terrified Quince had to have been when he woke up after a month of sleep.
“How are you feeling?”
Jathan lifted his head.
Quince looked a lot better.
“How are we in bed?”
A bright smile exploded across Quince’s face. “Apparently, you haven’t slept very well the past month. You slept all the way through German moving you to the bed. I had the nurses help me join you when you still hadn’t woken after a full day. You slept almost forty-eight hours straight.”
Jathan blinked. “Wow. Well, you’re a good pillow.”
A laugh burst from Quince. It didn’t send him into a coughing fit.
“You look like you feel better.”
Quince nodded. “It seems I really just needed to get upright and moving a little. I’m still coughing some, but I don’t feel like I’m dying as much anymore.”
Sympathy poured through Jathan. He had been through so much. “I’m so sorry. All of this is my fault.”
A sweet smile touched Quince’s lips. “Please don’t.
This is the first time in over a decade that I finally feel like I’m not a failure.
I kept you safe, and I’d do it again. When I went down, I knew I was dead, and I was okay because you weren’t hurt.
Maybe I’m not your bodyguard, but I am your man. I kept you safe. I did my job.”
Jathan heard him. He had silently blamed himself for failing Jayda all these years. It hadn’t gone that way with Jathan. This experience set him free. Gave him redemption. Jathan wouldn’t steal that from him. “Do you know what?”
Quince’s smile grew. “What?”
“You are my man.”
“Damn right.” The pride in Quince’s voice had Jathan grinning like a fool.
“Do you know what else?”
“What?”
“I love you.”
Quince traced the line of Jathan’s jaw. “I love you too. Do you know what?”
Jathan couldn’t temper his happiness, no matter how hard he tried. “What?”
“I’m going to be stuck in your bed for a long time. You should see me try to walk. It’s worse than a newborn horse.”
Jathan sat straight up and ended up on his knees, facing Quince. “Why in the fuck are you trying to walk?”
His eyes swam with laughter. “Baby, I have to sometime. The sooner the better.” He urged Jathan back into the arms. “Come on. Don’t you want me to get better?”
Jathan knew he grumbled like a kid, but fuck. “I’ve spent a month at your side, worrying my ass off. Have some mercy on my heart. I think I’ve aged five years.”
“Then you’re five years closer to me in age.”
Jathan snorted as he snuggled against Quince’s side.
“Nothing wrong with your age.” He muttered the words under his breath, sounding childish even to his ears.
Jathan felt Quince shake with laughter. His stomach suddenly growled loudly.
Jathan’s hand flew to his midsection. “Sorry. Dang. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve eaten much of anything. ”
“Everything he’s had, we’ve had to force down his throat.”
A loud groan burst from Jathan. “Damn it, German! If you’re always going to be this big of a tattletale, we’re going to have problems.”
“Sorry, not sorry. You’re the one who has me listening at doors to make sure Quince is safe. He deserves to know you’ve been killing yourself like that’ll solve anything.”
Jesus. The guy was a busybody. Why had he let Quince talk him into hiring security? “Were you this big of a meddler when you were a bodyguard? Don’t answer that. Of course you were. You’re bossy as hell.”
Quince huffed, making Jathan smile. He had missed their banter with every fiber of his being. “Look, sometimes celebrities have to be told to eat. You tell me why you all won’t take care of yourselves.”
“I’m not a celebrity.”
Quince and German snorted at the same time.
Jathan growled. “If you’re going to be living here, you two can’t be ganging up on me all the time. It’s bad for my complexion.”
The silence in the room was deafening.
Jathan lifted his head again, worried he had played too much for Quince’s health. He was so much larger than life. It was easy to believe he was better than he was. “Are you okay?”
Quince stared hard at Jathan—like his insides had frozen and he waited for Jathan to thaw him. “What’s wrong? Do I need to get the nurse?”
Quince didn’t respond.
Jathan panicked. “Grab a nurse, German.”
“No.” Quince spoke loud enough for German to hear. He cleared his throat. “No. I’m good.” Quince lowered his tone, keeping their conversation between them. “Do you really want me to live here?”
Jathan realized his mistake. He had gotten so used to Quince being there, he had forgotten Quince had a life outside of him.
A life he probably couldn’t wait to get back to.
Jathan tried hard to sound normal—like his chest wasn’t caving.
“Sorry. I guess I forgot for a second that I can’t keep you.
You have a house you built specifically for yourself and whatnot.
Your job is waiting. I don’t know what I was thinking.
” Jathan rolled from the bed. He tried hard to hang on to his smiles.
This whole situation with Quince sacrificing himself and Jathan taking care of him—it made things feel more intimate than they were.
Jathan was more than a little embarrassed.
He had warned Quince he got too attached to people.
“Have you eaten? What would you like? What are the nurses saying you’re cleared to eat?
Never mind. I’ll ask them. You’ll probably try to trick me into a steak.
” Jathan walked away, moving faster than normal.
He probably looked like he ran. “What about you, German? Have you eaten?”
“I’m good.”
Jathan nodded and kept moving. He couldn’t breathe.
When he made it to the kitchen, out of sight, he covered his face.
Jesus. What was happening to him? He pinched the spot between his eyes and took a deep breath.
Quince was awake now and Jathan had slowed down enough for the stress to catch him.
He stood at the kitchen counter and stared at nothing.
It was okay. Things were fine. They were good.
Perfect, actually. Jathan had no reason to be upset.
In fact, he wasn’t. Quince was on the mend.
He would go home soon, and they would simply return to being a normal couple, dating.
That was how this worked. He just needed a Xanax or something.
Jathan had been wound tight for too long now.
Too many things had been on his plate at once, wearing him down.
He needed to just take a breath, eat something, and then this pressure sitting on his windpipe would go away. This was not at all a panic attack.
“Jathan.”
Jathan nearly jumped out of his skin at Quince’s voice.
He spun. Quince was in a wheelchair. “What in the fuck are you doing out of bed?” He sounded so enraged, even he blinked at his tone.
“Sorry. I don’t know why that came out like that.
Should you be up and moving around like this yet?
” There. Adult like, but not psycho. Maybe a little breathless, but Quince had startled him.
“I’d still be in bed if you hadn’t run away.”
He sounded so calm. Jathan felt twice as dumb. He wanted the last ten minutes back. “Did you decide if you want something to eat?”
“I want you to talk to me.”
Sitting there in his white T-shirt and red pajama pants with his hair all a mess, Quince was so beautiful and reasonable.
Jathan couldn’t breathe looking at him. He sucked air.
Jathan literally couldn’t breathe. It was like everything he had barely held at bay hit him.
He bent at the waist and tried like hell to draw a single breath.
Nothing happened. Only a loud, wheezing noise escaped him.
“Holy shit. German!”
In a distant sort of way, he heard feet stamping toward him. Everything went black around the edges of his vision. No matter how hard he fought, the weight on his chest wouldn’t let up and his mind was in full meltdown mode. Then there was nothing.
Quince couldn’t sleep. Maybe he had just slept too much in the past month.
Mostly, his brain wouldn’t shut down. He couldn’t stop staring at Jathan or running his fingers through his hair.
Jathan looked so peaceful. Not at all like a man ready to be committed like this morning.
Quince felt helpless. That feeling was twice as strong since he literally was useless until he regained his strength.
Now they were both down, and Quince wanted to scream.