Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Cat
S horty purrs and stretches his claw-tipped toe beans toward my face. With closed eyes and a deep sigh, he’s the picture of contentment this morning. I wish I felt the same.
I look at the faux sunshine streaming through the window. Technology has come a long way, but that realistic image lacks something. It makes me think of Bennett. He’s just like that rectangle of pixels. He can fake the sweetness until you almost believe it, but when you get too close, you realize what’s missing.
The warmth.
I turn onto my side and slam my fist into the pillow. Shorty stops purring as he assesses the situation, but his rumbling resumes when I cease throwing a tantrum. But why shouldn’t I pitch a fit? Especially after the bomb Kindra dropped last night.
While my audition lineup isn’t exactly what anyone would consider emergent, Kindra was kind enough to have my messages forwarded to the service we use for our retreats. All the cast lists I’ve been waiting on were released in a clump together, and I wasn’t on any of them.
I even applied for a commercial for wart cream. Wart cream !
I knew breaking into this business was supposed to be tough, but I never expected it to be impossible. The rejections were par for the course, as was the mounting disappointment. Now that disappointment has piled so high that I can’t see the other side.
Before the hopelessness can swallow me whole, I roll out of bed and drag myself to the bathroom to wash my face. I don’t know why I bother. Maverick is no longer on my radar after what Eve and Bennett had to say.
And I sure as shit don’t want to impress Bennett.
Like an idiot, I was actually disappointed when Kindra and Ezra interrupted us at that tiny cabin, but now I think it was for the best. After the way he acted when he came to my door and saw me crying, I’m happy to go back to being mortal enemies.
Someone knocks on my door just as I’ve applied the cleanser to my face, so I hurry to rinse it off. A bit of soap squeaks past my clenched lids and infiltrates my left eyeball with the fire of one thousand suns.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I whisper as I waterboard myself.
The knocking intensifies.
“Just a second!” I scream.
I look for a hand towel with my good eye, then pat my face dry before going to the door. Eve stands outside, holding a plate in her hand and wearing a smile on her face.
“Brought you some muffins,” she says as she holds the plate toward me. “We were all so worried about you last night.”
I take the muffins and motion for her to come in. “I was worried for a bit, too. I’ve never minded the cold, but these temperatures are something else.”
“Most people can’t understand it until they’ve experienced it.” Eve sits on my bed and looks around. “Where’s the cat? Kindra said you brought one.”
The spot where Shorty was curled on my pillow lies vacant. I place the muffins on the bedside table, then drop to my hands and knees and peer into the darkness beneath the bed. Two yellow eyes stare back at me.
“He’s under there,” I say as I get to my feet. “He hates strangers. Kindra’s the only one he doesn’t run from besides me.”
“I’m more of a dog person, myself,” Eve says.
I won’t hold it against her.
As I dress in a pair of jeans and a snug sweater, she fills me in on the change in plans for the day. The outdoor activities have been canceled due to a coming snowstorm, so we’re all gathering in the rec room for a little fun and games.
“Just keep Bennett far away from me,” I say as I step into a new pair of knee-high leather boots. I really should have broken these in before the trip.
“Is he that fuckboy with piercing blue eyes and the badass tattoos?” she asks, and I nod. “He actually tried to bring the muffins to you, but Ezra plucked the plate from his hands and placed it in mine.”
Now that I know they’re safe, I grab a muffin and shove it into my mouth. “Figures,” I say through a mouthful of warm blueberry goodness. “Fuck, these are good.”
“That chef is pretty talented.”
“He is, but mind the meat. He likes to cook with people.”
Eve grimaces. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
She stands and makes her goodbyes, then tells me to be in the rec room around ten. When the door closes behind her, Shorty slinks out from the shadows.
“You aren’t very good at playing welcoming committee,” I say.
He blinks up at me.
I hurry to the bathroom mirror and slap on some makeup after I scarf down another muffin. When Bennett sees me, I want him to regret every mean thing he’s ever said or plans to say to me.
That’s going to be hard when one of my eyes looks like it has a contagious infection. How do I even have skin left on my face if my cleanser is this strong?
I scrounge through my toiletry bag, searching for a bottle of Systane. My fingers fumble through a graveyard of expired Dramamine, faded packets of Advil, and the crushed Tums tablets that escaped their container. The eye drops are AWOL.
Maybe no one will notice the highway of inflamed capillaries sprawling across my sclera. I stroke my mascara wand over my lashes a few more times and hope for the best.
“Guard the palace while I’m gone,” I say to Shorty, though I know he’ll probably just spend most of the morning cleaning his asshole and clawing the curtains. I’m surprised Kindra didn’t notice his artwork last night.
Fate is not my friend as I step into the hall. As soon as my door closes behind me, Bennett’s door flies open. He steps out of his room and nearly knocks me over.
His hand wraps around my arm as I try to hurry past him. “Hey, you got a second?”
“Maybe,” I say as I turn to face him. I should have snatched my arm away and kept walking. My brain searches for something mean to say, but I can only think of the way his hands felt on my naked body.
At least the lights are dim. He shouldn’t notice my bloodshot eye under these weakly glowing sconces.
“Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night,” he says.
“If you want me to apologize for keeping you awake, you’ll be waiting for a while. I’m not sorry at all.”
Bennett looks around. “Drop the act. No one’s here.”
“It’s not an act. The night in the cabin changed nothing. In fact, I?—”
He steps into me and walks me backward until my ass hits the wall. Judging by the fire in his eyes, he’s about to silence me. Permanently. Then his mouth falls on mine, and before I realize what’s happening, I’m kissing him back.
My stomach dips and rolls. A whimper slides out of me. I can feel how much he wants me through my jeans, and if he could feel my panties, he’d know how badly I want him, too.
“I thought we weren’t doing this anymore,” I say when I pull away.
“Because of what I said at your door?”
I nod.
“Kindra was sitting right behind you. I couldn’t exactly ask what was wrong without drawing suspicion.” He leans down and nips my neck. “But either way, I’m not exactly a nice guy, kitten. Not even your incredible pussy can make me into something I’m not.”
He speaks the truth, but his tongue is useful for so much more than hurting feelings. Like right now, it’s making me feel pretty fucking good as it drives circles over my pulse point.
“So?” he asks. “Are we doing this or not?”
“I don’t know if this is a good idea anymore.”
His hands drop to my hips and squeeze. “I’ll be honest. I can’t stop thinking about fucking you, and it’s driving me insane.”
“And what, you think you’ll get over this new infatuation if you fuck me?”
“That’s the hope.”
“And what if it doesn’t work? What if we both realize the alcohol wasn’t the issue?”
He smirks. “So you can’t stop thinking about it either, huh?”
Fuck him and his sneaky ways. I swat his chest and scoot away from him before he can kiss me and scramble my brain again.
“I need some time to think about this,” I say.
He shrugs and steps toward me again. “Tell you what, I’ll fake a headache after the activity. If you’re game, my door will be unlocked. You can consider the issue dropped if you don’t show, and we can go back to what we’ve always been.”
I bite my lip and look down the hall as Grim and Rose appear from the same door. Hearing the door click shut behind them, Bennett clears his throat and walks away as if we weren’t just having a conversation.
Those two have it all figured out. They meet at the retreat, have a wonderful five days of fucking, then part ways until the next event. Maybe I should corner Rose and ask her to reveal her secrets. If she could speak, that would be a great idea, but she scurries away unless we ask yes or no questions.
I lean against the wall with a groan. Bennett’s plan sounds great on paper, but as he disappears down the stairs, something nibbles at my mind. The one little issue he hasn’t considered.
What do we do if we can’t go back to the way things were?