Chapter 14 Nicole #2
Gracie looked up, fast enough to almost mess up. “What? Who? What don’t I know? Did you meet someone?”
Nicole laughed and reached over to start on her red velvet Santa. “No—well, actually, maybe I did, but that’s not what I mean. My parents are…” She lifted her eyebrows and wiggled them.
Gracie abandoned the cake and stood straight. “So, we’re not imagining it, are we?”
“We?”
“My mom and I have been talking about how great they are together. Mom is obsessed with how they are the couple that should never have broken up. I thought maybe it was her typical wishful thinking.”
“I know Aunt MJ loves my dad,” Nicole said. “I don’t think this is her wishful thinking. I’m pretty wishful about it, too.”
Gracie reached for a tray of evergreen sprigs, ready to attack the cake’s second layer. “What does Aunt Cindy say about it?”
“Not a lot, but I know she’s terrified of getting hurt again. I mean, she hasn’t told me point blank that she’s still in love with him, but I know her well. She protects herself.” Nicole took a bite of icing and cake, and moaned, closing her eyes. “Are you kidding me?” she asked around a mouthful.
Gracie smiled. “I never kid about cupcakes, Nic. But your mom. Do you think she’s going to get hurt again?
I love having Uncle Jack around, but I do not want her to go through losing him a second time.
It was all the same year that Sam ditched my pregnant self and…
” She shook her head. “I say it’s better to be safe than have your heart destroyed. ”
“I don’t know,” Nicole said.
As she tried to take her time with the cupcake, Nicole studied her cousin, who, at thirty-five, was beautiful, accomplished, kind…
and protected her heart the way she protected Benny from the world.
But then, she’d been hurt by Sam Sutton, and spent the last ten years building a business and raising a son.
Gracie looked up from a sprig she was placing on the second layer. “I will say this. Everything at Snowberry just feels better when Uncle Jack’s there.”
Nicole smiled, nodding in agreement. “He does bring the spirit, but it’s Christmas, so…”
“He makes things lighter,” Gracie said. “And ever since he got there, it’s been good.
The sleigh rides are running, guests are happier, and your mom doesn’t seem quite so focused on the business.
I can’t remember the last time we had so many dinners in that big kitchen, the whole table just full of family. He’s like a human magnet, your dad.”
“He’s special,” Nicole agreed, affection welling up.
“Look, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the idea of a second chance for those two.
They’re my parents. In my mind, they belong in the same house, in the same room, together.
And they do still love each other. A blind man can see that.
But I guess sometimes love isn’t enough. ”
Gracie finished a sprig and reached for another. “What’s this about a new guy you mentioned?”
“I did?”
“Slipped it right in there and said ‘maybe I did’ when I asked if you’d met someone.” She pointed the evergreen at her. “Did you think I was going to let that slide by?”
“Of course not. He’s…just a ski patrol dude I bumped into both times I made the massive and horrible mistake of trying to get down Deer Valley’s itty-bitty green run and failed.”
Gracie sighed, angling her head to look at Nicole. “I know it’s hard for you, Nic. It’s understandable.”
“Is it? Because I don’t understand it,” Nicole admitted. “I get out there with all the desire and motivation and determination and ability that a daughter of Flying Jack Kessler would have on skis and, wham! Frozen. In fear, not in snow.”
Gracie took a few steps closer, nothing but love and sympathy in her blue eyes. “Girl, you have every right to be frozen in fear.”
“Nineteen years later?”
Gracie just looked at her. “I was there, Nic. I was on that mountain when Uncle Jack saved your life. I didn’t see you fall, I didn’t see him dig you out of that tree well, and I wasn’t down there suffocating with you.
But I saw you come down at the end and, honey, you have every right to be afraid to ski again. ”
“Thank you for saying that.” Nicole reached for her. “I’m so tired of feeling like a failure because I’m scared.”
Gracie took her hand and squeezed. “It’s understandable, but you can conquer that fear.”
“What if I don’t want to?” Nicole closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Never mind. Forget that. Of course I want to. I miss skiing like other people miss breathing. I love it up there. I love the feeling of sailing down a slope, in control, in nature, bold and fast and thrilled by every turn. I miss the views, the sky, the feeling of being connected to that mountain. It hurts not to ski and it hurts to try.”
Gracie gave a soft grunt. “You were born to ski. I never loved it like you did, and Benny could take it or leave it. But you? Yeah.”
Nicole twisted the edge of the napkin Gracie had thoughtfully put next to the cupcake.
“Twice now I’ve gone out there, thinking I could just pick it up again. And both times? I could not do it. Do you think I need, like, professional help? I’ve always rejected the idea of therapy for that accident.”
“Maybe the professional help you need is”—she leaned over the counter and gave a hard look—“a cute ski patrol dude.”
Nicole laughed. “I knew you’d get back to him. I just feel like I should be past this by now.”
Gracie came around the counter and put her arms around Nicole.
“Sweet cousin of mine, please don’t be so hard on yourself.
” She drew back and searched Nic’s face, no doubt rooting for wisdom and the right words.
“You went through something terrifying. PTSD doesn’t just fade because you think it should.
It took me a long time to get over it, and I was just waiting at the base for you guys to come down.
Then I saw the helicopters and lights and all the patrols…
” Her eyes shuttered with the memory. “It was a terrible day, and I honestly thought I’d lost you. ”
Nicole’s chest tightened as she hugged Gracie.
“I keep trying to do it for other people,” Nicole said. “Dad. Bri. Maybe this guy. But it doesn’t stick. I need something more.”
Gracie’s eyes grew fierce with conviction. “Then that’s your answer. You need to conquer the fear for your own reason. For you. You have to want to push those poles and trust those skis and ignore the trees and the people and everything else but flying down that slope.”
Nicole smiled. “You always know what to say, Gracie.”
“Of course I do. I’m your cousin.”
Before Nicole could reply, Benny came back in, nothing but impatience on his little features. “Is the cake done? Grandpa is waiting for me.”
“Grandpa is probably asleep in his recliner,” Gracie said, picking up her tools and carrying them to the sink. “Ten more minutes and we can go home.”
“But it’ll be too late,” he whined, grabbing a cookie and picking up his milk.
“Too late for what?” she asked.
He filled his mouth with a cookie and shrugged, feigning innocence as he slipped back into the office without answering.
“See?” Gracie said. “I feel like he’s hiding something.”
“He is,” Nicole agreed. “But I’m telling you, it’s Christmas. He’s probably painting you a picture or something and Red’s helping him.”
“Benny? Painting?”
“Okay. Coding.”
“Wait’ll you have a kid.” She added a sly smile. “Speaking of, tell me more about the ski patrol guy. You know, the one who’s going to be the reason you need and want to ski again.”
She choked softly. “Speaking of wishful thinking.”
“You got to have a little of that if you’re ever going to ski again, Nic.”
Nicole just nodded, knowing she was right. “All I know is his name is Cameron and…” She got up and brushed the crumbs from her hands. “I’ll help you clean up.”
“And what?” Gracie pressed.
Nicole smiled. “He’s really cute. That’s it.”
“Well, that’s a start.”