Smitten in the Stacks (For the Love of Austen #2)

Chapter 16

The Sunday afternoon sun beamed through the windows of Prose & Positivity onto the worn wooden floors. The aroma of pastries and fresh coffee wafted in the air.

Sitting on a chair in the reading nook, I was ready for the Literary Persuasion Society book club. Earlier today I had texted the group chat, needing the comfort of my bookshop for this get-together.

Carmen was the first to breeze inside. “Querida, what’s the urgency?” She eased into an armchair, a batik blouse and paint-splattered pants draping her figure.

Samuel followed with a to-go cup of coffee in his hand. “Hope I haven’t missed any scandalous confessions.” He lowered himself into a seat.

“Not yet,” I said. “I wanna wait until everyone is here.”

Rachel entered next, in a purple button-up sweater and skirt ensemble, and plopped on a chair. “Spill the tea, Paris. I had to cancel my crochet club’s competitive yarn-off to rush over here.”

Aunt Margo strutted through the door, trailing scarves and bangles. She sat next to me, her paisley skirt flaring out. “My star charts revealed big news today.”

“All right, everyone, gather round. Emergency meeting at Prose & Positivity!”

While my friends settled into their usual spots, I was hit by a sudden fluster of nerves. This was a big moment for me, a revelation that went against everything I thought I understood about myself as a reader.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the reactions that were sure to come. “I have a confession to make…I think I might like reading horror.”

The room erupted in a chorus of gasps and exclamations. Rachel froze with a hand covering her mouth. Samuel nearly choked on his coffee, coughing and sputtering. Carmen’s eyebrows shot up, disappearing beneath her wispy bangs.

Aunt Margo laughed. “Honey, have you been abducted by aliens and reprogrammed?”

I got it. It was surprising. Me, the queen of happily-ever-afters and swoony romances enjoying horror, of all things. It was like discovering I liked sardines on pizza or I could rock a neon green fanny pack. Unthinkable, and yet...

“Ha-ha,” I said. “No alien abductions. I’ve been reading the books Dax recommended.”

Samuel cleared his throat, having recovered from his near-death experience with the coffee. “I must say, Paris, I’m impressed. So you really liked reading the horror genre?”

“Both of the books that Dax assigned me to read had a romance, and honestly, I enjoyed them. Turns out there’s more to horror than gratuitous violence and jump scares.”

Carmen picked a speck of paint off her arm. “Ah, the influence of a certain horror-loving hunk. I bet Dax is thrilled to have a new convert to his literary tastes.”

“What’s your favorite so far?” Rachel asked, leaning forward in her seat.

“Probably It’s Alive!. It was so much more than just a monster story. It had these layers of existential dread and complex character development that I never expected.”

Samuel stroked his chin. “I’ve heard good things about that one. Might have to add it to my reading list.”

Carmen pursed her lips. “Paris Novak recommending horror novels. And will you be hosting a Halloween party at the bookshop this year?”

Shrugging, I smirked. “Could be. I’m still new to this whole horror thing.”

Aunt Margo grinned wickedly. “I’m suddenly reminded of when Paris was a little girl.”

I groaned inwardly, bracing myself for whatever embarrassing childhood anecdote she was about to unleash.

“Paris was six-years-old, curled up on the couch with her favorite stuffed bunny. We were watching TV together, waiting for a Disney movie to start.”

My cheeks heated up, knowing exactly where this story was headed.

“A trailer for this new horror movie comes on. I think it was called The Attack of the Garden Gnomes or something like that. And Paris took one look at the screen and let out a blood-curdling scream.”

The room erupted in laughter, and I buried my face in my hands.

“Paris was so scared, she ran out of the room and hid under her bed. I had to coax her out with promises of extra dessert and a new book,” Aunt Margo said.

My hands lifted in surrender. “Okay, okay. In my defense, those garden gnomes were terrifying. And I was six!”

Rachel giggled. “Aww, little Paris, afraid of the big bad elves.”

“Gnomes. And hey, I’ve come a long way since then,” I said.

“Querida, this reminds me of when I first started exploring watercolors,” Carmen said. “I was so skeptical at first, but once I opened my mind to the possibilities, it was like a whole new talent opened up to me.” She fixed me with a meaningful look, her voice taking on a more serious tone. “Sometimes, the things we resist the most are the things that have the most to teach us. About the world, and ourselves.”

Rachel’s expression turned serious. “I think you should share this with Dax.”

I blinked. “Share what?”

“The way you’ve opened your mind to new genres, new ideas. I think Dax would be proud of you,” Rachel said.

“You think so?”

It was true, Dax had challenged me to step outside my literary comfort zone. Who would have thought a simple genre swap could lead to a full-blown existential crisis—book style? I was a seasoned romance aficionado, who now read horror, and learning to sleep with the lights on—just in case.

“And look at you now,” Rachel said, “boldly going where no book matchmaker has gone before.”

Samuel nodded. “And this could be the start of something more between you two kids. Frankly, I’m surprised that boy hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend. Especially the way, he’s been mooning over you like a lovesick puppy for months.”

Glancing at the motley crew of booklovers, my stomach roiled. This meeting wasn’t just about sharing my latest literary epiphany, no, it was about Dax, the cute personal trainer who’d wormed his way into my genre preferences and possibly my heart.

“Um, about that…” I fiddled with a loose thread on my graphic tee, today’s slogan: Books Are My Happy Place. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Dax did ask if I wanted to take our relationship to the next level, to make things official between us.”

My admission hung in the air like a cliffhanger waiting for resolution. The book club members leaned in, all smiles and wide stares.

“And?” Rachel’s eyebrows raised so high they nearly disappeared into her hairline. “Don’t leave us hanging, Paris! What did you say?”

A knot formed in my stomach. “Um, well, I told him I needed time to think about it. Don’t get me wrong, Dax is amazing, but diving into a full-blown relationship is scarier than a Shirley Jackson novel.”

Aunt Margo merely smiled as if she had seen this coming all along. “It was written in the stars, honey.”

“It was obvious, querida, he likes you very much,” Carmen said.

Rachel squeezed my hand. “Anyone with eyes can see the chemistry between you and Dax. You’re like the perfect opposites attract love story.”

My chest tightened suddenly and I couldn’t breathe. There were so many reasons why dating Dax was a terrible idea. What if he broke my heart? Or I hurt him?

Thoughts of Julian’s deception flooded my mind, reminding me of the pain I’d endured. My skin prickled with a cold sweat, as if my body was trying to purge itself of the toxic memories that clung to every pore. I couldn’t bear the thought of experiencing that kind of heartbreak again, of allowing myself to be vulnerable. It might be stupid, but the fear of history repeating itself kept me guarded, hesitant to take a chance on love, even if it meant missing out on something potentially wonderful.

Even as I tried to convince myself this was the right choice, doubt crept in. The thought of a future without Dax stretched before me, bleak and colorless. Despite my best efforts to keep him at arm’s length, he’d somehow snuck past my defenses, planting seeds of hope I couldn’t seem to uproot. Now I wondered if I was making the biggest mistake of my life, letting my fears and past wounds dictate my future. A future I might have with Dax...

“Erm, I, uh, told him that I just wanted to be friends.” I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, avoiding everyone’s curious stare. “Because if it doesn’t work out, it’ll ruin our friendship.” I looked at Rachel. “And I know you said that would never happen since we’re so close, but I can’t know that for sure...and I might’ve already screwed things up with my indecisiveness. I mean, I like Dax. I’m attracted to him. But what if we’re better off as friends? I don’t know if I can handle losing him completely if things go south.”

I took a shaky breath, my head hurting from all these conflicting thoughts. On one hand, the idea of being with Dax filled me with a dizzy excitement. His smile, his laugh, the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world...it all made me happy in the best possible way. But on the other hand, the fear of getting hurt again, of opening myself up only to be left broken and betrayed, weighed heavily on my heart.

Yep, I was a hot, indecisive mess.

Aunt Margo placed a hand on my knee. “Honey, you’ve been hurt in the past and it’s okay to be cautious, but this is Dax.”

Rachel nodded. “Dax is a good man and he cares about you.”

My cat jumped down from a bookshelf and hopped onto my lap. Sighing, I absently stroked Sushi’s soft fur. “I...I’m scared.”

Samuel cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses. “Paris, I’ve only ever loved one woman, my late wife. And let me tell you, that kind of love, it’s rare. When you find it, you gotta grab onto it and never let go.”

“I’m not an expert on love,” Aunt Margo said. “But not taking a chance on something real, that’s the kinda regret that eats away at you. My fourth husband has his faults—he’s a terrible interpretive dancer—and we certainly have our differences, but it wouldn’t stop me from marrying him all over again.”

Aunt Margo had a point. Maybe I was overthinking everything, as usual.

Sushi meowed as if agreeing with my aunt and sprang off my lap.

Carmen smiled softly. “And I think Dax is a good match for you. Don’t let fear hold you back.”

I took a deep, shaky breath. “I hear you all. I do, but...but what if I’m just not cut out for this? What if I’m meant to be alone with my books and cat?”

In response, my fluffy white overlord purred, winding herself around my ankles as if to reassure me I’d never be alone, not really.

Samuel cleared his throat. “Well, maybe you should write your own story. Plus, who says you can’t have books, cats, and love?”

I huffed out a breath. “Yeah, but this isn’t a novel. In real life, there’s no author making sure everything works out with a tidy happy ending.”

Rachel gave me a no-nonsense look and said, “Listen up, girl. You and Dax? You complement each other. He pushes you to be bold, to color outside the lines, and to embrace life beyond these four walls. It’s like he’s the key that’s unlocked a whole new side of you, one that’s been waiting for a good man to come along and give it a good kick in the pants. So, stop overthinking it.”

I groaned as more excuses poured from my mouth. “What if our differences are too big to overcome? Look at our reading preferences. He loves horror, I love romance. He eats healthy and I live on donuts. We’re like oil and water.”

“That’s just it,” Aunt Margo said, her tone gentle but firm. “Being diverse is okay. What one person enjoys, another may not. Just because you appreciate different genres, and foods, and have wildly contrasting opinions on the proper way to hang toilet paper rolls, doesn’t mean you can’t find common ground.”

My throat tightened with emotion. As much as I hated to admit it, they had a reasonable argument. Dax wasn’t just some random guy trying to sweep me off my feet with empty promises and grand gestures. He was becoming my best friend, my sounding board, my...well, my everything.

My heart pinched in an already sore place. I had already fallen for a guy who I thought was the one, and it turned out he was engaged to someone else the whole time. It had shattered me, and I’d been too scared to trust my heart since then. Now I was letting fear keep me from a relationship. It was like I was the protagonist in one of those frustrating romance novels, where you just want to shake some sense into the heroine and tell her to go for it already.

Carmen leaned in, her voice gentle. “You’ve got a heart big enough to love deeply. Don’t let the past keep you from experiencing that.”

Sushi meowed and sprang onto the counter, her tail swishing.

My heart constricted, and their heartfelt advice started chipping away at all of my doubts and fears. They were right. Dax liked me for who I was, always cheering me on, and supporting my dreams. He understood me in a way no one else ever had.

The truth was, I’d been running from love for so long, I’d forgotten what it felt like to be truly seen, to be understood on a soul-deep level.

The awareness of my own stubborn foolishness came crashing down on me, like a hardback. Dax and I might be different in so many ways, but that didn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, it could be the very thing that made us stronger.

I wrung my hands. “I don’t know what to do now. What if I’ve ruined everything by keeping him in the friend zone? What if Dax doesn’t want to give me another chance?”

“You won’t know unless you try. Trust your heart,” Rachel said.

A watery smile lifted my mouth. “I’ve been a fool, haven’t I? Pushing away the one person who truly gets me, who sees past my neuroses and still wants to stick around, who makes me giggle until I snort-laugh and doesn’t even judge me for it.”

Aunt Margo clapped her hands together. “Yes, honey! I told you, the stars are aligned in your favor.”

Okay, so it was time to stop overthinking and start living. I’d been so wrapped up in my own insecurities that I’d lost sight of what really mattered—the chance to build something amazing with Dax. Clearly, there were no guarantees in life, but wasn’t that what made it so interesting?

I sat up straighter. “I’m going to talk to Dax. Tell him how I feel, how much he means to me. And if he’s willing to give me another chance, I’ll even read all of his favorite horror novels, as long as he agrees to discuss them over raspberry tarts.”

Rachel punched a fist into the air. “Go get your man, girl. And don’t forget to come back and tell us all the juicy details!”

I faced the book club members, my found family. A swell of affection and belonging struck me. These were my people, my tribe. They might be an opinionated bunch, but also, the most loyal, loving friends a girl could ask for.

“Thank you, all of you. For believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.”

Samuel grinned, his eyes crinkling behind his glasses. “That’s what we’re here for, Paris. Now, go get your happily ever after.”

I didn’t know what Dax would do or say when I talked to him, but I knew I was done running from love.