1. Not a Father
1
NOT A FATHER
Diana
“ I’m sorry, Mr . Armitage . She just walked in and wouldn’t leave.”
“ That’s all right, Janie . She’s my daughter and I asked to see her. I apologize I didn’t tell you. It’s fine. You can go back to your work.”
I sat behind my father’s big fancy desk, watching this exchange, marveling at the newfound knowledge the man could apologize.
I then watched him close the door behind Janie , who was rather young to be the personal assistant for a man of my father’s stature. That being a named partner in a massive practice, who had a corner office that included a conference area with an eight-seater table and a sitting area that had four armchairs and two couches facing each other.
Oh , and fresh flowers.
Fresh flowers all over the place.
Their weekly flower budget had to equal my monthly mortgage, if not exceed it.
And let us not forget, his art.
I’d finally earned my degree (yep, in art, actually, two of them), which I paid for (thank you very much—it took seven years, but by damn, I earned them). I did restoration, conservation and cleaning, so I knew art, and I hated to admit it, but Dad had a good eye.
But he always did.
He’d picked Mom .
And then he’d picked Nicole .
Enough said right there.
Dad walked to stand in front of his desk, his attention never leaving me, and he said, “ I asked to see you, however, you didn’t reply to my voicemail.”
I was lounged back in his cushy chair, my legs crossed, and I threw up both hands. “ Consider this my response.”
“ This isn’t a good time. I have a busy schedule. I’m due in a meeting in ten minutes. Regardless , I’d like to speak to you in private,” he said through his teeth.
“ It’s been a long time, Dad . But with nineteen years’ experience starting from birth, I still think I can translate Dad -ish.” I sat forward and rested both elbows on his desk, putting my chin on top of my linked fingers. “ What you mean is, your vile, cruel, practically inhuman client, who also happens to be rich, and that works for you, in fact, that’s all you need, has requested I cut Suzette loose so he can have a clean go at silencing her.”
“ Again , I’d like to set some time to speak to you in private.”
I sat back and feigned excitement. “ No , wait…he wants to bribe her?”
I watched my father visibly lose patience. “ Diana , I’ll repeat, I don’t have time at this moment, and I’d rather not do this here. We haven’t connected since the situation in Tucson , so it would also be nice if I had the chance to get caught up with my only child.”
“ Ooo , good one. The guilt card. Well played.”
“ Diana —”
“ You get discovery. Have you received it yet? Did you see pictures of her?”
“ Diana —”
“ You did, but what’s your hourly with a client like Babi? ? Four hundred? Five ?”
Abruptly , he leaned forward, resting his weight into his hands on his desk, the move so sudden, I jumped.
“ Can’t you see you’ve put yourself in danger?” he whispered, unease in his gaze.
I ignored the unease, as I’d been ignoring it since Suzette moved in with me a week ago.
Instead , I stood and assumed the same position so we were eye to eye. “ Can’t you see I’m the only safe place she’s got? That man is a psychopath, but he’s not going to kill his own attorney’s daughter in order to get to the woman he viciously assaulted.”
“ You don’t know what he’ll do.”
“ I’m laying odds.”
“ This is messy, the accuser of my client living with my daughter.”
“ I’m afraid I fail to see how that concerns me.”
“ If you want to punish me, there are other ways to do it. Say , cutting me out of your life for ten years. I can report, that worked quite well.”
“ Sorry , Dad . This isn’t about you. It’s about Suzette .”
He shook his head. “ Don’t think I’ll fall for that nonsense. You’ve got your mother in you.”
God , sometimes I wished I was a violent person.
In considering that, how bad was it to slap someone? Was that like, level three violent? Or more level five?
I was pretty sure I could do a three. I wasn’t so sure I could live with five.
“ Diana !” he snapped, straightening from the desk.
“ I live in a high rise. We have security. What , are his men going to storm the building?”
“ You don’t mess with a man like Babi? .”
“ I have seen the pictures, so that isn’t lost on me.”
He took in a deep breath that expanded his wide chest, and I noted he looked good, as always. His dark hair was turning a glinting silver, not gray or white, and it was attractive. He’d always kept fit, getting up early to hit the home gym or the one at the office to put in at least a solid forty-five minutes of cardio and strength training. It was noticeable he hadn’t changed that habit.
I wondered, though, if he got Botox , because without the silver in his hair, he looked to be a man in his early forties, tops, not late fifties, which he was.
“ I didn’t handle that situation well,” he announced. “ The one on campus. I see that now. I was thinking like a man of my generation. What we’d been taught and what I knew women had been taught in terms of how to look out for themselves. I didn’t consider that line of thinking was not only outdated, but wrong.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
“ And I’d like to have a relationship with my daughter,” he finished.
I knew what to say to that.
“ Well , if we’re entering negotiations, drop Babi? as a client, make sure no one in your firm picks him up, and maybe use some of the influence you’ve spent decades amassing to make it difficult for him to find someone in the legal community that would help him out.”
He shook his head. “ It doesn’t work like that, Diana . Even if I withdrew, it’s my duty to protect a client’s interests. I’d have to recommend new counsel and advise them on the case.”
“ So that takes our short negotiations to a close,” I muttered.
“ I’m proud of you,” he announced, apropos of nothing. “ You got your degree. You took that further. You did it on your own, which I’m sure was difficult. I have friends who have gone to you for conservation work. They say you’re talented.”
Oh no.
No way in hell.
He didn’t get to do that.
I began to walk around his desk, stating, “ We’re not doing this.”
“ Diana , please come to dinner,” he requested of my back on my way to his door.
I turned to him.
And I said what I said next despite the sharp pain I felt at hearing the undisguised and genuine entreaty in his tone.
“ I’ll consider it, but before then, I’ll share that it wasn’t your outdated…and you’re right, wrong line of thinking that was the problem. It was that you thought like a man, not a father. You , my father, after what I went through, put me through a different kind of onslaught by taking the stance of a man, and in so doing, you protected another man, one who had harmed me. That was why I walked away and never come back.”
I had to hand it to him, once I’d said this, he looked stricken.
Okay , no.
He looked wrecked.
But I couldn’t let that affect me, because I wasn’t done.
“ If you’re standing there, telling me you want to be my father, then I’ll tell you, it’ll never work, and I’m not putting myself through it, if you don’t figure out what being a father means. Now , this may seem extreme to you, but representing a man who very obviously brutally attacked a woman physically, sexually, and having a daughter, is not in the slightest bit okay. I don’t give that first shit he’s entitled to a defense. Let someone else offer it to him. You are not a struggling lawyer who needs to take cases to put food on his family’s table. Babi? had a retainer with another firm, he did this, they dropped him. You picked him up. You . A man with a daughter who’s survived a sexual assault. Think on that, Dad . Think why I might have an issue with that. Think what it might mean to me that you’re defending this man. Once you do, contact me. And then maybe we’ll chat.”
“ So it is about you,” he declared, and there was a hint of a smirk on his lips.
I did not forget how very much Nolan Armitage liked to be right.
I just forgot how irksome it was.
“ No , it’s about you,” I retorted. “ My entire life, it’s never been about me. It’s always been about you.”
His head jerked like I’d slapped him.
And I didn’t even have to commit level five (or three) violence.
This worked for me.
I walked out of his office, closed the door behind me, and looked right to Janie .
She was very attractive.
But she was so freaking young.
Too young to be put through my father’s wringer.
Taking her in, I made a decision I didn’t like, but in the end, for the sisterhood, I had no choice.
I walked to her and stopped in front of her desk.
“ My father fucks all of his PAs ,” I announced.
Her eyes got big.
But her face got red.
Right .
They were fucking.
I suspected she was younger than me by several years.
Gross , but still…no surprise.
I did not wonder if she called him “ Mr . Armitage ” when he was doing her, because just skating over the thought gave me the serious skeeves.
Instead , I shared, “ He gets a new PA every year, and the old ones don’t get moved to another attorney in this firm. Think about that, Janie . Your time is limited, and I can assure you, you will not win him over where the others failed. You will not be presented a ring and then plan a fancy wedding and move into his big Paradise Valley house. You will not carry his children and admire what an energetic mature father he is. He doesn’t want children. There were times I wondered if he even wanted me. He doesn’t want a partner, he wants a status symbol. There’s only one end to this sad tale. You will get nothing you’re promised, and nothing you wish for. Instead , when he’s done, you will simply be replaced.”
I felt terrible because she looked about ready to cry, and I belatedly reconsidered being so blunt about it.
But bottom line, even if she was pretty, and he was attracted to her, she wouldn’t have the job if she wasn’t good at it.
She needed to find another job where the expectations were a lot more realistic, on both sides.
And with that, my work done, I left my father’s practice.