7. When Isn’t It?
7
WHEN ISN’T IT?
Hugger
Hugger sat across from Diana at her dining room table, knowing.
Down to his gut, he knew.
Even so, he didn’t trust it.
Maybe it was because he never expected it. Maybe it was because he never really wanted it. Or maybe it was more to the point he never thought he’d get it. Or maybe it was because he knew to his soul from the moment he could cogitate he’d never have it.
But whatever.
It was happening.
Although it had been brewing since he caught her wrist in the elevator, and definitely agitating during their discussion at lunch, and what happened after it, Hugger became aware of it when they hit her pad after she was finished with work.
They walked in to see Big Petey and Suzette camped out on the couch in her living room.
Pete was watching TV .
Suzette was tucked into the corner beside Pete , coloring, adult style, with fancy pencils.
“ Saw your books, thought you wouldn’t mind,” Pete explained for Suzette , who just looked at Diana and blushed like she’d been caught doing something wrong.
With an expression on her face like Pete had announced that some doctor had cured cancer, Diana replied, “ Not at all.”
Indication about how withdrawn Suzette had been, not that Hugger hadn’t noticed it already.
Then came the news that Big Petey had told Eight it was chicken tacos for the night and Eight , Muzzle and Driver wanted to know if they could pitch up.
This pissed Hugger off. She didn’t need to be feeding their crew every night.
It didn’t piss Diana off.
“ Absolutely !” she chirped. Then , without delay, she hightailed her phenomenal ass to the kitchen where she opened and closed cupboards, the fridge, dug out that pad of paper from her drawer, scribbled some things down, ripped the page off the pad and lifted it in the air, waving it and asking, “ Who’s going to the store?”
Pete clearly didn’t want to leave Suzette , so Hugger went to her closet to grab his empty saddlebags in order that he could haul groceries on his bike.
When he was in there, it struck him, as it didn’t the night before when he’d unpacked, that her closet was big, but it wasn’t full. She’d given him his own space with rods, shelves and drawers, but it wasn’t difficult for her to do.
After he grabbed his bags, he walked back through Diana’s place, seeing the same thing everywhere.
She had her shit tight, but there wasn’t much of it.
This was a life beginning.
She might have the cake to make it nice, but it was clear what she said at lunch was true.
She wasn’t that woman.
She wasn’t a wealthy attorney’s daughter who had a ton of shit, being given it, going into debt to get it, or blowing everything she earned to have it.
She was building, doing it right, but smart.
This hit Hugger , and it did it hard, like pretty much everything about Diana did.
When he walked back to the kitchen, he saw Suzette was in it with Diana , Big Petey had a beer and retained command of the couch, and Diana had the list, which she handed to him on a smile.
Fuck .
That smile.
He felt it right in his cock. Every time.
This time, it was more.
No , she wasn’t pissed a bunch of bikers were horning in on dinner, or a bunch of bikers were hanging around at all.
The opposite.
It seemed like she was in her element. Like this was exactly what she wanted to do after work on a Friday night.
She told him where he could find a grocery store. Pete told him he’d informed Eight they were in charge of bringing beer. Hugger took off and came back to a dining room table set for dinner. Diana and Suzette were in the kitchen doing shit. And Eight , Muzz , Driver and Pete were lounging in the living room, drinking beer and rapping.
“ Awesome !” Diana exclaimed in his direction, coming right to the bags he put on the counter. “ Okay , dinner in about twenty,” she announced to the room while digging stuff out of the bags.
Hugger glanced at Suzette , who appeared to be ignoring the men in the living room while she opened cans of refried beans, but at least she was out among them.
Hugger got a beer, hit the living room, and in twenty minutes they were all around Diana’s table, which had make-your-own tacos paraphernalia spread over it: meat, lettuce, diced tomatoes and onions, cheese, salsa, as well as Spanish rice, refried beans and some corn dish Diana called elote that was ridiculous, it was so good.
She put Pete at the head of the table and sandwiched Suzette in between Pete and herself, a cocoon of safe and familiar for Suzette to be in while she was with the rest of them.
Muzz was on Pete’s other side, and Hugger took the chair next to him so he could be opposite Diana . Eight sat next to Diana , Driver next to Hugger .
Through dinner, Suzette was silent and only acknowledged Pete and Diana , but again, she was there. She was also eating. Both good things.
The rest was just what it always had been since Hugger put himself forward to Chaos .
A lot of giving shit, taking it, telling stories, laughing, talking and bullshitting.
Diana fit right in.
“ Serious ? You lived in England ?” Driver asked Diana when the food was all but decimated and they were kicked back, shooting the shit.
She nodded. “ For six months. I scored a primo internship at the British Museum . It was totally rad.”
“ Food suck there like everyone says?” Eight asked.
“ No freaking way,” Diana answered. “ One word: custard. Three words: bangers and mash. Two words: English breakfast. Um , let me count…four words: steak and kidney pie. I could go on. Just their cheese is orgasmic. Don’t get me started on their ice cream. Dairy products on the whole give life new meaning. And I dream of their bacon.”
“ No shit?” Eight said.
“ None at all,” she replied.
“ What’s different about their bacon?” Driver asked.
“ More meat, less fat, more flavor,” she told him. “ I don’t know how they do that, because the flavor’s in the fat. But they do it. It’s like magic.”
This made the men chuckle.
All but Hugger , who simultaneously wanted to taste English bacon and watch Diana eating it.
“ You go anywhere else when you were over there?” Muzzle asked.
She shook her head but said, “ I did a little traveling around England . Their train system makes it easy. We should resurrect that here. It’s almost zero hassle and you can get practically anywhere. And I got a weekend in Paris , also by taking the train.” She shrugged. “ I wished I could do more, but I didn’t have the time or money.”
“ You’ll get back,” Big Petey assured.
She smiled at him. “ I hope so.”
In the middle of her saying that, the entire table tensed, because there was a hammering at the door.
The men looked among each other, but it was Hugger who stood.
“ You got neighbors who would pound on your door like that?” he asked Diana as he made his way there.
She opened her mouth to speak when they heard a male voice shout from the hall, “ Diana Elizabeth Armitage , open this door!”
Diana’s eyes got big as her mouth breathed, “ Holy crap. That’s Larry .”
“ Larry ! Calm down!” a female’s voice could now be heard through the door.
Hugger looked out the peephole, saw a man, probably in his fifties, dark hair going gray, good-looking, built, hadn’t gone soft in the slightest. With him was a tall blonde woman, also built, just a different way. She looked like she could be on the cover of a magazine, even if she, too, was in her fifties.
Ex -stepmom and sorta-stepdad, once removed, the last hearing Diana was host to a bunch of bikers, he didn’t like it and he was going to do something about it.
Hugger hit the button that slid the bolt out if its anchors and then he opened the door.
The man glowered at him.
The woman stared at him, her mouth dropping open.
The man then stormed in and Hugger allowed it, because he was Diana’s sorta-stepdad, once removed and he was there because he was worried about her.
After the woman strolled in, Hugger made sure the door was closed and bolted, then got into position to see Larry shoot a sizzling look toward Diana , a scowl around the men, but his face softened when he saw Suzette .
“ Hey , darlin’,” he said gently.
“ Larry ,” she whispered.
“ How’re you doing, sweetheart?” the woman asked Suzette .
“ Okay . How are you?” Suzette answered quietly.
“ I’d be better, if Larry wasn’t having a shitfit,” the woman replied.
That caused Suzette to smile, just a little.
“ Speaking of…” Larry began. “ Diana , a word.”
“ Larry , as you can see,”— Diana swung her hand wide to indicate the table, including spent bowls, plates and beers—“we’re good.”
“ A word,” Larry gritted.
Expelling an aggrieved breath, Diana stood. “ Okay , but first, this is Eight .” She indicated Eightball . “ He’s a member of the Resurrection MC , from Denver .”
Eight got up, approached and offered a hand to Larry .
Hugger had to give it to him, Larry only hesitated a beat before he took it.
“ And this is Big Petey , he’s hanging with Suzette during the day,” Diana went on. “ He’s a member of the Chaos MC , also in Denver .”
More handshaking, the tension started to leave Larry’s frame, Diana went on with the introductions and ended on Hugger .
“ Hugger keeps me safe during the day and is sleeping on the couch so we both are through the night,” she finished.
Hugger found Larry’s grip was firm, short, and he stepped away, appearing a little humbled.
“ Do we still need a word?” Diana asked.
Larry didn’t answer her.
He looked through the men and said, “ No offense.”
“ None taken,” Big Petey spoke for them all. “ My girl let a bunch of strange men hang at her house after knowin’ them for a few minutes, I’d ream her ass too.”
Larry seemed openly relieved Pete understood.
“ Want a beer?” Eight offered.
“ He needs seven of them,” the woman said. “ And by the way, I’m Nicole , and rest assured, I know Di is an excellent judge of character. Though I’m pretty upset I missed her elote .”
There were smiles, a couple of chuckles, more handshakes, and Diana said to Nicole , “ I’ll get Larry a beer and shake you a martini.”
“ I’ll love you forever if you do, but I was already going to do that, so just know you have my eternal gratitude for offering that elixir after I had to deal with Mr . Overprotective for the last hour,” Nicole replied.
“ So you kept it from him until tonight?” Diana asked as she headed to the kitchen, Nicole following.
Hugger didn’t hear Nicole’s answer.
Suzette mumbled, “ I’ll just start clearing,” then she swiftly got into doing that, but more, got out of the slew of men and found a way to get herself to the women.
“ She’s okay with you guys?” Larry murmured low, his eyes following Suzette , having missed her ploy with the clearing.
“ She is, and she ain’t,” Big Petey replied, also low. “ I think I got her okay with me today. She tries to pretend the boys don’t exist. Mostly , I think she’s out of her room, not because she’s comfortable, but because she doesn’t want to disappoint Diana .”
“ Not sure that’s good,” Larry muttered.
“ Probably not good for her to push herself before she’s ready. But it’s worse, her sittin’ in a dark room by herself and up in her head, where it isn’t a safe place to be,” Pete replied.
Larry nodded.
Diana returned with Larry’s beer, grabbed some plates, and declared, “ Suze and I cooked. I’ll take these in, but that means we don’t clean.”
And with that, she strutted back to the kitchen.
“ We got our orders,” Eight said, and he grabbed some shit from the table, the rest of the men following suit.
“ These boys do this, can I have a word?” Pete asked Larry .
Larry assessed him then jutted his chin in an affirmative.
“ Hug , with us,” Big Petey ordered in Hugger’s direction.
They headed to the balcony.
When they got there, Pete’s eyes went right to the coffee place. So did Hugger’s .
It was closed, but there appeared to be no one of concern sitting in the seating outside that place, or in any of the outdoor sections.
“ Everything okay?” Larry asked.
Big Petey focused on Larry .
Hugger focused on Pete .
“ You know her story? Suzette’s ?” Pete asked.
Larry looked surprised. “ You don’t?”
“ Know what happened to her,” Pete said. “ Only got one day in with her, don’t know more. Wondered if you did.”
“ Like what do you want to know?” Larry asked.
“ She got people? She got things? She got a job? She got a place?” Pete clarified.
Larry shook his head. “ Nic says she’s not opening up to Di , and Di doesn’t want to push it.”
Pete pondered this, then stated, “ She’s entrenched here, man. I can’t get it. Shit like what happened to her never happened to me. But I also really don’t get it. Even when really bad shit goes down, not a lot of us can put our whole life on hold to hole up and figure it out,” Pete noted.
Big Petey had a point.
Hugger looked into the house.
The men were in the kitchen.
Diana and Nicole were sitting in the living room, gabbing.
Suzette had disappeared.
“ How did those two gals hook up?” Pete asked Larry .
Larry assumed an unhappy expression when he explained, “ Diana did some amateur sleuthing, pulled some cons with hospital staff and the officer guarding the door to Suzette’s room, and got in there with her. Not sure how she talked her around. Not even sure why she did, though Di’s got problems with her father and some history that makes it make a kind of sense.”
Hugger’s neck got tight.
History that makes it make a kind of sense .
“ It’s been worrying me and Nic since it went down,” Larry kept at it. “ Di isn’t like this. She likes her work. She’s got good friends. She goes out and has fun. But she’s been almost freakishly responsible since the day I met her when she was twelve.”
This didn’t surprise Hugger at all.
Larry kept talking.
“ She jumped into this, and after I got over my shock she did, it took everything I had not to strong-arm her right out. But Di’s got no support from her family. Her mother’s a flake and doesn’t live close. Her grandmother is a nice woman, but she doesn’t have much of a backbone. We got years in with taking Di’s back because there wasn’t anyone else to do it with any strength behind it. Suffice it to say, we didn’t like this situation, but the way things are for her, we didn’t fight her on it.”
“ I get you,” Pete muttered.
“ Why are you asking after Suzette ?” Larry questioned.
Pete drew in a breath, like he was stalling for time to figure out how to say what he had to say. He let it out and said it.
“ Lived some years, man. And I think there’s more happenin’ here than the lowdown and dirty shit that was done to that woman,” he replied, which made Hugger’s neck get tighter.
So he asked curtly, “ Like what?”
Big Petey shook his head. “ Like I don’t know, unless we can get that girl to talk. And I don’t see that happenin’ anytime soon.”
“ Me either,” Larry mumbled.
“ Appreciate you showin’ your feeling for Diana and Suzette ,” Pete said to Larry . “ And I get your concern. Our Club’s got some worries about Babi? . We got no beef with the man, no dealings with him at all, so we’re tryin’ to figure out why he’s messin’ with some of our women. Nothin ’ as bad as what he did to Suzette , but he’s playin’ with their heads and diggin’ into our business, and we just don’t get why. We’re here to find out. In the meantime, since we got the manpower, thought we’d put it in front of those girls. They’re safe with us. That’s a promise. You give me your contact info, I’ll be glad to keep you informed. Was a dad once, I get what you need.”
Larry’s head jerked at Pete’s last words, and he asked suspiciously, “ Was a dad once?”
“ My baby girl died of cancer a while ago,” Pete told him.
Larry winced then said quietly, “ Still a dad, my friend.”
“ Yeah ,” Pete muttered, and Hugger’s eyes narrowed on the man.
He knew about Pete’s girl. Everyone did.
He just really didn’t like how Pete described what he felt he’d become after her loss.
Larry was studying him closely too, but he stopped to peer over his shoulder inside, clearly feeling his wife’s attention on him, because it was.
He turned back to Hugger and Pete . “ Best get inside. We good?”
Big Petey nodded.
Larry went inside.
Hugger and Pete stayed on the balcony.
Hugger didn’t fuck around with starting it.
“ What are you thinking?”
Big Petey shook his head and shrugged at the same time. “ Got a bad feeling, son.”
“ What kind of bad feeling?”
“ There’s more to that girl,” Pete said. “ I can understand she’s terrified after what happened. I can understand she’s shrinkin’ into herself for the same reason. But there’s something deeper. Darker .”
“ Like what?”
Pete looked him right in the eyes. “ Like she thinks she’s already dead. She just happens to still be breathin’ for a while.”
“ Stands to reason, since it’s been made plain Babi? isn’t gonna let her take him down,” Hugger bit out, with a tilt of his head indicating the courtyard that didn’t have Babi?’s lackeys in it now, but they both knew they’d be back.
“ Yeah . Maybe .” Pete didn’t sound convinced.
“ Diana’s dad withdrew as Babi?’s counsel,” Hugger told him.
Pete’s bushy gray brows shot up. “ No shit?”
“ She asked him to. He’s making moves to sort what’s broken between them. And it seems the man isn’t afraid of grand gestures,” Hugger said. “ I gotta talk to Eight and wanna call Rush . Diana’s freaked because she thinks Babi? is gonna be pissed and he might do something about it. We need men on Nolan Armitage .”
Pete dipped his chin sharply in assent. “ Agreed . Aces got a business to run. They can cycle men through, but if we need more, could put the pinch on ’em. We’ll get on that and get some more asses down here as reinforcements.”
“ Can you take Eight aside?” Hugger asked. “ I’ll call Rush while I’m out here.”
“ Got you on Eight and you do that with Rush . Then you call Tack ,” Big Petey ordered.
Hugger’s brows inched together. “ Tack ? Why ?”
“’ Cause , son, you don’t know what hit you yesterday. Years ago, the same thing hit him. Took him a while to get his head out of his ass to see it, and it pissed her off so bad, she was dead set against him. He had to scramble to get back in there. You talk to him, he can give you the wisdom so you won’t make the same mistake.”
“ What are you?—?”
Big Petey lifted a hand. “ Don’t bullshit me, Hug . I don’t give two shits Nolan Armitage stood up for a rapist and all-around piece of shit and got his ass in a sling extricating himself from that relationship. But you do. Because she does. And we’re gonna cover him. For you. And for her. Because she’s yours. And you know how that goes. She’s yours, means she’s ours .”
Hugger felt his throat get scratchy on the inside.
Normally , Big Petey pulling the dad act didn’t bother him. He was a good man, he had a big heart, he cared about his brothers, and he cared about Hugger’s ma.
Now , though, it was ticking him off.
“ Big Petey —” he started.
“ Don’t ,” Pete sighed. “ Just don’t, son. Promise you, if you do, you’ll regret it.”
“ It’s not what I want.”
He said it even if he didn’t mean a word of it, but he wanted to.
It was a mistake because it opened a door Hugger took pains to keep firmly closed.
Pete waltzed through that door and laser focused on him. “ I’m glad we’re talkin’ about this because I never got a lock on it. What is it you want?”
Hugger told him the truth. “ Nothing .”
That was when Big Petey started to look mad.
He didn’t hesitate to explain why.
“ You know it would gut her to hear you say that.”
Pete was talking about his mother.
“ It’s the best way to live life. Have no expectations, get no disappointments. She showed me that.”
“ Bullshit ,” Pete clipped. “ She had no choice. But she gave everything so you would.”
Now Hugger was getting mad. “ You don’t know what we were. You don’t know what we had.”
“ I knew Jackie ,” Big Petey shot back. “ I knew the feeling she had for you. And I know that woman in there, whose world lights up just ’cause a woman opens the cage she closed around herself just enough to color in a book, and that same woman prepares a spread on the fly for a bunch of men she barely knows and gets off on it, is a woman your mother would be doin’ cartwheels is in your life. She’s into you, Hug , don’t fuck that up.”
“ We’re on a mission.”
“ You can’t multi-task?”
“ Shit is real, Pete .”
“ When isn’t it?”
Hugger didn’t answer that because it would prove Big Petey’s point.
“ Call Rush and call Tack ,” Pete commanded. “ And I’ll talk to Eight .”
With that, they were done, Hugger knew because Pete left him on the balcony.