18. Mission
18
MISSION
Diana
“ That’s me and Georgie when we got hitched,” Dutch said, turning his phone my way so I could see what was on the screen from where I sat across from him at my dining room table.
It hit deep when I saw the picture of the fabulous-looking Dutch Black looking even more fabulous in a tuxedo sans bowtie, his collar open.
He was standing next to a model-gorgeous woman with shining brunette hair. Her wedding gown was bodycon with lots of ruched tulle, in a mermaid style, with a princess neckline and cap sleeves made of lace. It was understated but hella elegant with a nod to girlie. A miracle of execution. I dug it entirely.
And she was curvy.
I’d now seen Hugger’s body top-to-toe naked. It was sheer perfection, without an ounce of body fat. The furred boxes of his abs were mouth-watering. The delectable V indents at his hips were life-affirming. The bulges of his biceps, veined sinews of his forearms, definition in his shoulders and back, power in his quads (you get me), were proof there was a God .
This was nowhere near what I offered up, and although Hugger gave absolutely no indication he had a problem with my ass, thighs and belly, seeing how happy Dutch and Georgie were, with an obvious underlining of sheer contentment, made something in my heart settle.
Dutch took his phone away, slid his finger on the screen, turned it around and said, “ This is Jag and Arch at their shindig.”
Whoa .
The woman in that photo was also beautiful, but slender, wearing a strapless sheath of ivory satin with a color-matching circle scarf of soft chiffon that fell from her neck down her back. Her hair was up with no adornment, and there were some fancy chandelier earrings made of pearls falling from her ears. That was it. It was utter simplicity, and so freaking cool, it made me rethink the wedding dress confection I’d always dreamed of wearing at my own “shindig.”
“ Looks like you boys have good taste,” I remarked.
Dutch turned the phone around and studied the picture, “ Yeah . Arch is the shit.” He aimed a smile at me. “ And obviously, Georgie was the most perfect bride there ever was.”
I returned his smile. “ Obviously .”
“ I got some,” Big Petey said from the head of the table, and I turned to my right to see him also showing me his phone.
On it was a picture of an adorable little boy with an equally adorable little girl, both of them dark-headed and smiling.
“ That’s Playboy and Princess ,” Big Petey said as he reached over the phone to slide the next picture where a ridiculously handsome, lanky man, with dark hair and green eyes, was holding the little girl from the earlier photo on his hip, another less-little but still little girl on his other hip, and he was standing next to a stunning brunette with sapphire eyes who had the little boy’s hand in hers. “ Shy and Tabby’s kids.”
I turned to Hugger , who was sitting beside me, and asked, “ You don’t have a hotness quotient your brothers have to meet before they become members?”
He grinned at me.
I heard Big Petey and Dutch chuckle.
I turned back to Big Petey who was shuffling through pictures on his phone.
“ Playboy and Princess ?” I asked.
“ Nicknames ,” Pete grunted. “ Real names are Landon Kane and Caroline Tyra . Their middle girl is Wren . Their son is named after Shy’s brother and Tab’s father, and their last girl is named after Shy’s ma and Tab’s stepma. Wren is pure wren, our pretty little bird.”
“ Ah .”
“ This is Joke and Carrie’s brood,” Big Petey said, turning the phone back to me.
And yes, you guessed it, Joker was ludicrously good-looking, and his woman, with blonde-red curls, reminded me of a cheerleader. They were surrounded (and one might even say besieged ) by children.
“ Travis , Clementine , Wyatt , Raven and Dakota ,” Big Petey said. “ They were gonna go for another one but thought instead maybe they should let the kids get a little older and adopt one who’s older, ’cause they’re harder to place. Or they might foster.”
He turned the phone his way, slid his finger across the screen, then showed it to me again.
When I saw the picture on it, I felt something I’d never felt before.
My womb clutching with unadulterated yearning.
This was because it was a photo of Hugger with Raven on his back. She had her little arms wrapped around his thick neck. She appeared to be whispering something in his ear, and he appeared to be taking whatever it was seriously.
“ Thick as thieves, those two,” Big Petey announced. “ Uncle Hug’s all the kids’ favorite, ‘cause he’s got all the time in the world for them.”
“ Pete ,” Hugger warned low.
Big Petey ignored him. “ But think sometimes Rave gets lost in the mix with all the kids. Not just her own brood, but all a’ Chaos is crawlin’ with little ones. She’s a shy little gal. Hugger is her safe place.”
Slowly , I turned my head to Hugger .
His full lips in his beard were thin in annoyance at Big Petey laying it on kinda thick.
But I loved this .
“ Uncle Hug ,” I whispered.
“ Shut it,” he whispered back.
I smiled huge at him.
Hugger sighed then stood, announcing, “ Di cooked, so Dutch , we’re gonna clear.”
Dutch , who was grinning madly at his lap, muttered, “ Right ,” and stood up, grabbing plates.
Hugger nabbed some of his own and the two men left Pete and me alone.
When the men had gone, I turned to Big Petey .
“ Can I see that picture again?”
Pete handed me his phone and I stared at Hugger and Raven .
“ They’re super cute together,” I murmured my understatement.
“ Wait until you get a load of them in real life,” Pete said.
I couldn’t.
I simply couldn’t wait.
I also couldn’t wait for other things. And seeing that photo made me hope even more than I already was that I’d get them.
Hugger and Dutch came back to get more stuff, then they returned to the kitchen.
I leaned toward Pete , handing his phone to him.
“ I think you get we’re together now,” I whispered.
Pete leaned toward me, his lips tipped up. “ Oh , I get that, darlin’.”
“ He’s different.” I kept whispering.
“ Different how?” Pete asked.
“ After Maddy left, he seemed to be pulling away. I mean, not really, but it was like he thought something would happen so we wouldn’t. Even before Maddy left, it seemed like he was holding something back. But today, it’s not like that at all.”
“ That happens when a man who’s fallin’ in love quits fightin’ the fact he’s falling in love.”
My breath caught.
Falling in love .
We heard washing-up noises coming from the kitchen.
“ He’s got some shit it’s his to give you, Di ,” Pete said, then he warned. “ It’s heavy.”
“ Heavy like me working things out with my dad and finding things out about my mom that rocked my world, and Hugger was at my side through all of that?”
Big Petey’s brows shot up. “ What’d you find out about your mom?
I told him.
“ Well , shit,” he said, collapsing back in his chair when I finished.
See ?
Heavy .
“ Harlan told me he had this stuff, I’m not going in blind, Petey ,” I assured. “ But it isn’t like he’s balked when all my stuff was coming at me. We can’t decide how life is going to go, and it’s for sure what’s going on with him and me isn’t out of a storybook. What I can say is, I totally like it like that. Trial by fire, then maybe we’ll have smooth sailing.”
“ Hope you do and glad for you,” Pete murmured. “ Glad for you both.”
I smiled. “ Me too.”
“ Now about your mom…” he trailed off so I’d jump in.
And I did.
“ I called her. Left a message. Asked her to call me. She hasn’t. Since then, I’ve texted twice. She left them on read. I think she knows I know and she’s avoiding me.”
“ What are you gonna do when she stops doin’ that?” Pete asked.
Hugger and Dutch came back with the tin of almond cookies as I answered, “ I haven’t decided. I want to hear what she has to say.”
“ What’re you talkin’ about?” Hugger asked.
“ My mom,” I told him.
His lips thinned again.
“ Whatever happens, it’ll be okay,” I promised, stroking his forearm.
“ Mm …” he hummed.
Mm … I so liked Hugger’s deep, rough mm .
“ Parents gotta make all sorts of decisions that are hard,” Big Petey announced sagely. “ But it’s good you know all you had with your dad, no matter what happens with your mom.”
“ This is true,” I murmured, then turned to Dutch . “ Speaking of Dad , he lives in a gated community. I was wondering how you guys were looking out for him there. Not that I’m questioning you,” I added hurriedly. “ Just wondered.”
“ Darkness covers a lot of shit,” was Dutch’s answer.
He said no more, but I decided from what he said, they had it covered.
“ Pass me that tin,” Big Petey ordered.
I slid the tin his way.
He took a cookie, bit into it, and with mouth full, stated, “ I hope someone got this recipe off Emmy before she left.”
“ Don’t worry, I totally did. And her recipe for beef and noodles.”
Big Petey shot me twinkling eyes. “’ Course you did, darlin’.”
Hugger draped his arm around the back of my chair, repeating, “’ Course you did.”
And …yeah.
I liked those cookies, the guys liked them, but Hugger loved those cookies so much, it was a wonder any of them were left.
So of course I did.
* * *
One could say it was hard as hell not to climax just riding my big guy with his big dick, his beautiful chest, handsome face, thick hair all over my pillow, thick beard mine for the tugging, all of that being all I could see.
Somehow I managed it.
I watched his eyes darken (more), felt the pads of his fingers dig into my hips, and I was pretty danged pleased I was about to take him there when suddenly I wasn’t bouncing on his big cock.
I cried out as he pulled me off and put me on my knees in the bed beside him.
Then he knifed up, moved in, and with his body at my back, he forced me to walk up the bed on my knees, before he tipped me toward the headboard, dipped, positioned, and drove up inside me.
My hand flew out to brace against the wall.
Lord .
So good .
Hugger kept pounding.
My head fell back to his shoulder.
God , I loved, loved, loved being tossed around and positioned by my guy. Hugger was a man who knew what he wanted in bed, and didn’t hesitate to take it. It was so freaking hot, it was beyond next level hot. It was fifty levels above next level hot.
Scorching .
No , sizzling .
Both his hands cupped my breasts, his calloused thumbs rubbing my nipples.
Okay , and I loved riding Hugger , but this was better.
His face buried in the side of my neck, he fucked me, I took it, I adored it—no, revered it— and I knew it was getting serious when one of his hands left my breast to trail down my belly and dive between my legs, his finger hitting my clit.
My body jerked as licks of flame shot through it.
“ Yeah , honey,” I breathed my encouragement.
I met his thrusts, lifted my ass to get more of him, dug my head into his shoulder, and reached behind me to hold on to his hips as he drove into me. It’d been building for a while, but suddenly, it exploded, engulfing me, carrying me away where the only hold I had on anything was being fucked by Hugger . And it was the only hold I wanted on anything.
I was coming down, feeling his finger leave my clit so he could wrap his arm around my belly and hold me steady for his drives.
I got off on that, turning my head so I could get off on hearing his harsh breaths, the soft grunts that shifted to groans, until he plunged deep, squeezed my tit and tightened his hold on my middle as he came.
Hugger was quiet during sex, unlike me. He made noises, but they were soft and belied the effort he put in to making it (super) good for us both.
It was as much of a turn on as everything about Hugger .
He shifted my hair away from my neck with his chin, an effort doomed to fail as I felt it get tangled in his beard, but he kissed my neck through the tangles.
Then he slid out, shifted us back, gently placed me in bed, touched his lips to my forehead and got out of bed so he could deal with the condom.
I adjusted the covers so they were over me and stretched, languid and chill and happy.
Oh yeah, definitely yeah.
Hugger was different that day, not entirely different but different.
It was like he’d been with me, at the same time protecting me from something.
Now , it wasn’t like that.
Now , he was just with me .
I didn’t know what happened, and I wanted to know, but if he never shared, I didn’t care.
I was just glad whatever he was holding between us he’d set aside.
He’s falling in love .
If any of my closest friends, Bernie , Charlie , Mel , told me they were falling in love with a guy after knowing him a week, I’d have concerns.
But here it was, I was in it.
So was Hugger .
And zero concerns.
This was my happy thought when I noticed the light go off in the bathroom and then Hugger coming out in all his glory.
That glory was glorious, but the look on his face was not.
I was perplexed as he walked around the bed to my side, more perplexed when he took my phone off the charge, and even more perplexed when his annoyed expression turned into an out-and-out scowl when he glanced at the screen.
He put the phone back on the magnet, lifted the covers, moved in and lowered his bulk right on top on me, flicking the covers over his hips once he settled.
At least that felt good (really good).
“ What’s up?” I asked.
“ Your mother still hasn’t texted.”
I relaxed beneath him, smoothed my hands up his back and mumbled, “ Honey .”
“ It’s pissin’ me off,” he stated.
“ I can tell,” I said. “ But there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“ Yeah ,” he grunted.
“ Can I ask you something?” I requested.
He focused on me. “ You can ask me anything.”
Okay .
Um .
Yeah .
Totally falling in love with this guy.
And he was totally now all with me.
“ You told me earlier you don’t like touch and aren’t affectionate.”
“ I don’t and I’m not.”
I blinked.
“ Can’t keep my hands off you, though,” he muttered.
I pressed my lips together so my smile wouldn’t blind him.
“ And love your hands on me, even when we aren’t fuckin’,” he went on.
I pressed my lips tighter.
Once I had a lock on it, I noted, “ You seemed pretty affectionate with Raven .”
“ She’s a little kid, and Pete was right. She’s bashful. Gets lost in the mix of a lot of rowdy and big personalities.”
I stroked his beard and asked gently, “ Do you feel a kinship with her with that?”
His head ticked then he said, “ Guess so, yeah. Never thought about it, but makes sense.”
“ Do you, uh…want kids?” I asked cautiously.
He got that expression on his face that he always got when he was about to say “ I never thought about it.”
Then the look cleared and he said softly, “ Yeah .”
I thought I was pretty loose under him, but when he said that, I got looser.
“ You ?” he inquired.
“ Yeah .”
“ How many?”
“ Two .”
“ Two’s good. Wouldn’t know, but I heard that middle child shit ain’t real fun.”
“ I wouldn’t know either, but I heard the same.”
His eyes got soft and he went in to rub his nose against mine.
Dang , I loved it when he did that too.
Since he was being so forthcoming (not that he ever wasn’t, but still), I took a chance and noted, “ You seem different today.”
“ That’s because I decided we’re doin’ this.”
I emitted a surprised pip of laughter. “ You just decided that today?”
“ No . Decided last night when I found out you were a fantastic lay.”
My mouth dropped open.
“ Rounded out the perfect package,” he stated.
“ Well , thank God I didn’t disappoint you in bed,” I muttered.
“ Not sure you can disappoint me in anything, babe.”
Holy crap!
I mean, seriously.
Was he for real?
“ I was letting my shit get in the way of our shit,” he explained. “ You took the hit of Maddy , stood strong. Took the hit from your dad about your mom, same thing. Nothing shakes you. We’ll be good.”
“ You wanna tell me what might shake me about you?” I asked.
“ That’s for Sunday , baby,” he said quietly. “ Will say, what was fuckin’ with my head was that I wasn’t good enough for you.”
My mouth dropped open again, but this time it did not only because I was surprised, but because I was angry.
“ Are you joking?”
“ No .” He caught my mood and cupped the side of my head with his hand. “ Babe , you got a master’s degree.”
“ So what?”
“ I’ve never been out of Colorado except to hit Vegas a coupla times and come here.”
This shocked me.
Even so.
“ So what?” I repeated on a snap.
His head went back several inches. “ You don’t see where I’m comin’ from with that?”
“ Not really, seeing as what it says is that you think I’d eventually think I was better than you.”
His voice shared he was getting pissed when he stated, “ It wasn’t that.”
“ Then explain what it was,” I demanded.
“ I see your face when I tell you I never expected anything out of my life, never even thought about it.”
“ I fear this discussion might be difficult not having what I need, and instead having to wait until Sunday to get it.”
He moved abruptly so he was holding my head in both hands, and his face was in mine.
“ Never dreamed, never wanted shit, because I knew I couldn’t have it,” he growled. “ Then I follow this gorgeous woman with sass to spare into the sweet crib she created, and I started wanting shit. Thirty -five years old, woman, first time in my life I saw what I wanted. All of it. All of what I’d need for the rest of my life. It tweaked me. Scared the absolute fuck outta me. You don’t want, you don’t get disappointed. I see now that was what I was doin’. Protecting myself. Because all of a sudden, there it was,”—his hands put gentle pressure on my head—“ all of it, and I knew, I … fuckin’ … knew how deep it would cut if I didn’t get it.”
“ Harlan ,” I whispered, overwhelmed. Feeling so much it felt like it was clogging my throat, my pores, the entire room, but even so, it was an excruciatingly beautiful feeling.
“ So I know my bathroom at home is shit,” he carried on, “and I brush my teeth in your swank bathroom beside you with your mass of fantastic hair and your sweet round ass tipped as you put on mascara and your outrageous supply of makeup at hand?—”
“ My makeup supply isn’t outrageous.”
“ Watched you tidy up after yourself two days in a row, babe, and you got three drawers of that shit.”
So …
All right.
My makeup supply was outrageous.
“ We come from different worlds,” he continued, “and I want you in my world, but I want more to be a part of yours.”
Oh , he was going to be a part of mine all right.
“ So , what you’re saying is, this last week you’ve been coming to terms with the fact that you might finally get what you deserve, and it freaked you,” I summed up.
“ Don’t know about deserve, but yeah, it freaked me.”
“ Harlan , prepare, my gorgeous man, for me to pull out the big guns when I ask, what would your mother say to you thinking you don’t deserve a good life?”
He winced.
Mm -hmm.
And mm-hmm again.
Because now I had a goddamned mission.
I didn’t know where we would land. I didn’t know what was in store for me on Sunday .
What I knew was, he was going to have a great fucking bathroom, a great fucking bedroom, a great fucking everything . And he was going to be a part of creating that—with me—but he was going to have his say and get what he wanted so he could live in the dream he never allowed himself to have.
That was my mission.
And I was going to best it.
I wrapped my arms around him, lifted my head off the pillow and touched my mouth to his before dropping my head back.
“ Sunday , you can lay it on me,” I invited. “ But for now, we haven’t had a lot of time together, so I haven’t had the time it might take to make you realize you deserve a swank bathroom and whatever else it is you might someday realize you want. But know, I’ve taken on that job and I’m not gonna stop until you’re where you were always supposed to be.”
He swept his thumb along my cheekbone as he kept his gaze to mine, but he didn’t say anything.
“ Did you hear that?” I demanded.
“ You’re cute when you’re handing out shit.”
“ Harlan !” I snapped, at the same time slapping his lat.
He grinned. “ Starting with brunch, you gonna show me the world?”
“ Absolutely .”
“ Think I wanna start with Japan . I like sushi and their gardens are the bomb.”
Excellent news he liked sushi, because I was an aficionado of that too.
“ Our first vacation,” I declared.
My body started shaking because his body was shaking since he was laughing.
“ You find this funny?” I asked tartly.
“ Babe ,” was all he said.
Ugh .
He kissed me and rolled us so I was on top.
Oh well.
Whatever .
He’d see.
But we had a mondo box of condoms on hand, so first things first—we’d see about what was going to happen next.
Spoiler : what happened next was awesome .